I need advice

32 Comments

1. Tereasa FontaneseMarch 16,2022 at 12:56PM UTC

   Take a deep breath.
   Anxiety can greatly get in the way of learning and confidence in doing your job. Pay attention to details so that mistakes are few. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I write everything down - reading your own notes helps to organize thoughts. Find the tools within yourself to turn this around and look for allies who can support you. Find your groove! If you then realize this is not the job for you, put together an exit plan with a realistic timeline ("I will give this my all for 2 months", "I will begin looking for a new job during that time", "I will land a new job in 4 months"). Stick to the plan and don't quit without something else!

2. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 10:53PM UTC

   Thank you for this advice!
   It’s actually really good! I’m going to identify and note down what my true challenges are and see if there is something I can do to improve! And not give up

3. Anita GetzMarch 16,2022 at 12:57PM UTC

   Every new job does have learning curves. If you are that unhappy I would start looking for a new job. Just do not quit your current one until you have a firm offer letter. Good luck

4. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 1:03PM UTC

   Suck it up ...
   it's only been 7 months. Go to the source of knowledge and ask for their guidance. If that is not an option, then go to HR and state your concerns. I don't know what it is that you do so it is hard for me to give specific example. If you are in services, then go the "engineer" or manager of that service and ask for help. Same for a product. Go to the product manager and ask for a demonstration of the product for a better understanding. (They will love you for that.)

   If you show an effort to learn more, be better, then you will get the help you need. Go to the person that hired you and let them know your concerns and have a plan to help yourself. Get your manager's buy-in for extra training on whatever it is that you need to learn. Go to the person that is the best at what you want to learn and ask for their help. You can do it. Put a plan together and execute it.

5. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 10:56PM UTC

   Yes this is great advice. I was hired for a supply planner doing demand and supply planning… On-boarding hasn’t been the greatest lots of learning in my own. when I started and the person who was previously doing my role left in may 2021 I was hired in Sept. I also think I need to take ownership in understanding what my true challenges are and not be expected to know everything and that is what I think I’m having trouble doing because In my previous role I was the SME who knew everything about the role.

6. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

   Listen to the first Anonymous and Tereasa.

   Best advise I have heard in a long time. I just left a company I had been at for 10 years but moved to another company in the same field and in my same role. Just changing companies is a whole new ball game - even if you are doing the same job as before.

   New ways of thinking, different processes, new dynamics and figuring out who your peeps are going to be. And if you are working remotely it is even more challening.

   Hang in there and give it your best. What would you be expecting of a "new" employee if you were the boss?

   As for the person who said you were "expected to know things at this point" - they are a jerk. Go around them, find someone else who can help you and then take copious notes...and use the notes.

   On the flip side - take an honest look at yourself. Should you know these things at this point? If so, figure out why you don't and how to get the info you need.

   Good Luck - be tough and figure it out. Then you can decide if this is the job for you.

7. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 10:59PM UTC

   That is so true! I think I got so comfortable in my previous company that now that I’m challenged I am uncomfortable and unable to identify what is making me uncomfortable and not able to perform.

   Someone did however tell me “when you’re uncomfortable means you’re learning and growing”

   I also think this role is a lot more advanced that I had originally thought, not that I cannot gain those skills that are needed

8. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 1:33PM UTC

   I believe it takes at least 6 months to get comfortable in a new position/company so don't be too hard on yourself. It may just be a little longer learning curve for you to get comfortable and perhaps your concerns about the job are standing in your way. I'd encourage a real conversation with your boss about the difference between what you understood the role to be and what it actually is and how you can get some more support to be successful. Acknowledgement and intention go a long way.

   On a more basic level, I always encourage newer employees to ask as many questions as they need but also as they gain experience, to show that they've tried to figure it out. So instead of saying "how do I do this?", say "I think this is what I need to do. Can you confirm that I've got that right?" That way you're demonstrating that you've thought about it but you're being conscientious and don't want to make a mistake. Or if it's a problem that you're trying to solve, you can say "I have this problem. These are my ideas on how to address it. Do you have any input on my ideas or any other suggestions?" Also, be sure you get to know more about your coworkers - who is an "expert" at what. It's not always about knowing the answer, sometimes it's more about knowing how to get the answer. Good luck!

9. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 1:42PM UTC

   After 7 months, if things are not clicking for you I would say this job is not a fit.

   I think it's time to start looking for something more in line with what you're used to.

10. Renee HolderMarch 16,2022 at 1:45PM UTC

    Being challenged at a new job is a good thing as it helps us tap into skills we may not know we have, however not being supported as you take time to learn is disappointing. As others have stated, take a breath and self-assess what needs improvement and why tasks are not gelling. Were you poorly trained? Are the tasks too difficult? The process does not make sense? I agree -- take copious notes so you can refer to them when needed. I have been told many times in my career that "after 3 months you'd better start delivering". Depending on the onboarding (with comprehensive training), that is true and expected but if there is no one who has the patience to help or will not support "your learning curve" at this stage, this is not the environment for you anyway. Look for a new role/job and once you have accepted an offer, put in your notice. Do not look back on this as a bad experience as every role in our career will teach us something more about ourselves: what we need, what new skills we discovered, and what we can and/or will not tolerate in the next role in order to achieve success. Good luck. You've got this!

11. Valerie MeansMarch 16,2022 at 1:55PM UTC

    Ma'am your situation sounds like a few of my situations compounded into one scenario. To me personally it looks like you are going through what I refer to as my DARK HONEYMOON PHASE, this is a step I created in my thoughts when entering a new job after some rough starts at other jobs of which I actually learned the best lessons and came out with the most knowledge

    either way they still are not pleasant and you have to really pay attention to being mindful and working your resiliency in your feelings and thoughts ,I made this(its a combined effort of all these techniques) I did make the mistake and let the situation get the best of me and I lost myself for a few years. now I learned I have to try extra hard to look at these "learning curves" as my growth opportunities in legitimate FIELD EXPERIENCE (nobody can take away your actual experiences or downplay them becauseyou mentally and physicallywent through them) I now use my new found PERSONAL GRIT for my next potential job. Think of it as what I call "serial job coaching" (I self discovered my term while working for temp agencies which are also a great way to learn different work categories before landing your dream job) you can go online to pay for simulation questions and classes or college that assist your awareness for these scenarios or you can save your money and let someone pay you to go through ACTUAL SCENARIOS or you can think of it another way, you pay to go through a horror attraction and hope it never happens in real life but what halow would you mentally handle that situation especially if you didnt pay for it and nobody is paying you for going through it...YET at least lol... arousing thought right?

    There are a lot of solutions I can offer to this since I am used to working in high tempo environments with mostly male colleagues both the military and civilian jobs while serving in the Army National Guard.

    One thing I have always stayed true to is my personal space and my thoughts in that space, asking myself the following questions

    •What can I do to be helpful in what feels like chaos? (a lot of times people test to see if you are a team player especially when we are women)

    •How can I showcase my talents?(this is something I have always tried to do at a job and leave something better than what I found it in so innovation and initiative are key)

    •Did I have a clear understanding of what the job requirements are? Or was I just so eager to get a job I conformed myself to the questions in the interview and now I am on the road to self discovery?(If you find yours answering "Yes" to both then embrace this opportunity tactfully being what I call the "silent ninja" coworkers start to take notice when the vocal one goes into silence depending on the coworkers personality who start to questions you just play out the scenario with kindness and don't be afraid to mention you HAD a rough start with a little humor in your response this show confidence and you speaking it into existence will also help train your mind into believing you can do this job then ask if perhaps that coworker has some pointers)

    •When can I schedule a time to go over these questions with my supervisor? (I say this because I am actually the worst at just remembering to do this which is how I have found many ways to adapt to many situations)

    I hope some of this helps and you can always Google and leadership development sites with FREE information comes up.

    Ibeliefs and work ethic. Other things I have

12. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:14PM UTC

    There is a difference between growing with a new job and not having support to grow in that new job. I had a job for 8 months that had no onboarding, no additional training, and little to no feedback on work completed. I did not know what I was doing the entire time, just winging it, and it caused a lot of stress and negatively impacted my mental health. Personally, I started looking for a new job about 5 months in and it took me those three extra months to land a new position. I took a pay cut, which is rough as a single-income household, but it has worked wonders on my mental health. I'm still learning new things at this new job and growing my career, so it's not about not being outside my comfort zone.

    This is all to say, I understand where you are coming from and I feel for you. Only you can determine if the stress is growing pains or lack of support that you cannot handle. I would personally start looking, rather than quitting, if you do decide to move on. It looks better to be at a job for 7 months and looking for a new position (have a good answer for why that doesn't put down your current job, focusing on the new opportunity being something you can't pass up), than to leave at 7 months and then go looking.

13. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:30PM UTC

    I'm sorry you're experiencing this, it must be really frustrating. Your employer is giving you some pretty strong messages about their satisfaction with your work performance so you're going to need to take quick action to right this ship.

    I think a lot of us fell into that default position of claiming strain on our mental health and resulting anxiety during Covid. Others carried PTSD with us from previous employers or toxic work situations. While this is very real, an employer is only going to tolerate this for so long...including the rookie mistakes and lack of focus. It sounds like you may be running out of "Get out of jail free" cards at this point if you boss is saying that they're expecting you to know more.

    You're going to have to aggressively get your stress and anxiety under control so you can return to a point of high performer. No one, including your employer, is on deck for this except you! You have full ownership of this and it's no one's responsibility to fix this except YOU! Best of luck in your next steps.

14. Crystal HowellMarch 16,2022 at 7:56PM UTC

    Very sorry to hear; see if they offer an employee assistance program to help with the anxiety. Use their benefits with a boss like that, and get a recruiter in the field you want. Speak with HR privately, let them know the boss's response, and ask for training. This can contact ugly for them. Hopefully, the recruiter who is free to you has found you something. Good Luck

15. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 8:56PM UTC

    If you don't feel like you're being put in a position to succeed, then this job is not the right fit for you. You're stressed out and overwhelmed and it feels like your superiors don't care because they expect you to be able to handle the workload. It's okay to admit that what it sounded like when you interviewed is not what ended up happening. Interviews are like dates: everyone puts their best selves forward. Maybe the company was expecting something different out of you as well.

    If this is really taking a toll on your mental health, it might be best to quit. There's no use in stressing yourself out to the point where you can't get things done in a timely or accurate manner. It benefits nobody and you may find yourself without a job not of your own volition.

    So my tl;dr advice is closely evaluate your current role and make a hard decision if you want to leave or not.

16. AnonymousMarch 17,2022 at 12:47PM UTC

    Ugghhh, this sounds somewhat similar to what I am experiencing, so I am looking for suggestions.

    My old location was shuttered, and I was fortunate to transfer to a different division in the same company that has seen and is seeing tremendous growth.

    My first manager was bad, people would leave after short time, but HR didn't care, he brought the numbers. Similar statements as the OP, no training, yet 'I should know'. Being the only woman (wonder why) at the time working for him didn't help, and HR is not your friend.

    Sometimes it is worse coming from the same company but different divisions instead of outside, because they think processes are the same - they are not!!!

    I toughed it out until he was finally transferred to torture another department. And although I really appreciate my current manager we are still extremely busy - simply too busy. Things fall through the cracks that never happened to me before, and I see signs of burnout.

    Although our particular management may be great, the overall company culture is still tough, no matter how much they claim they care. I just have to look at other departments and see how they are managed.

    For example, another person got in trouble because he didn't work weekends.

    I have now been there several years with a good, but not great, track record, and my heart is simply not in it anymore. So I have started to carefully look for other opportunities.

    I know it's going to be hard work, no matter where I go, but I hope for a fresh start, if that makes any sense.

    I wish there were part-time opportunities, but there is absolutely nothing out there for experienced professionals. While I can handle a paycut, I cannot afford to quit. There also doesn't seem to be anything between entry-level wages and my current income...

    Thanks for letting me vent!

17. shaz1972March 17,2022 at 12:56PM UTC

    There are so many jobs right now. I know others will disagree but I can tell by 7 mos if company is right for me or not. Just start looking around to see what;s out there on indeed

18. Shelley Maley, Career Coach (PHR, GCDF)March 17,2022 at 1:05PM UTC

    I just shared something about making this decision yesterday. I hope you find this helpful!

    https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6909860054003277824?utm_source=linkedin_share&utm_medium=member_desktop_web

19. Viki BattagliaMarch 17,2022 at 3:55PM UTC

    Link is broken. Would love to read about your decision!

20. Jennifer GeorgeMarch 17,2022 at 4:02PM UTC

    this link does not work.

21. KathyMarch 17,2022 at 1:23PM UTC

    A few thoughts/questions about your situation:

    1. Forgive yourself. We make the best decision we can with the information we have. You've learned more now that you are in the role and it's not what you wanted. It is not a crime. So...
    2. Make a list of where this job falls short for you. What comes up? Is there anything about this role that you like? What specific kind of support would be most helpful to you?
    3. "You should know this by now" haunted me for many years because it's untrue and unnecessarily shaming. Rather, think about what sources and resources you have already to get the information you need. How do you note new procedures? I like Evernote for this. I refer to it all the time because as wonderful as the brain is, thinking and remembering are lower on the priority list for an organ that is essentially keeping me alive and functioning!
    4. When asking for help, be specific "Here are the steps I'm taking. Am I missing anything?"

    Wherever you go, there you are. Taking these steps will give you more clarity and hopefully diminish the anxiety you are feeling and tee you up for success whether in this role or another one.

22. AnonymousMarch 17,2022 at 1:25PM UTC

    I had this happen to me and I ended up on a PIP for something that actually wasn’t my fault. There are tons of jobs out there- I quit and found another for more pay. It’s not going to get better- start looking for another job.

23. AnonymousMarch 17,2022 at 9:50PM UTC

    I worked for a company, where every competent employee seemed to end up on a PIP, but without a plan. But if you waited long enough, the incompetent 'leaders' would eventually leave...

24. Madam anon663March 17,2022 at 5:03PM UTC

    What is it with some companies? Its so easy to be kind and empathetic to your employees, especially after the past two years, why are they still acting this way? They obviously have not read the room so to speak in the working world.

25. PamMarch 18,2022 at 1:41AM UTC

    Oh, goodness!

    That is me exactly!(except for the going back to company for 6 years). Seven months at this company and I'm only just getting training because they've been too busy and overwhelmed. I'm making so many mistakes and feel like my confidence has been struck down repeatedly and I doubt all my decisions. My supervisor even called me on the phone and told me he was at the end of his patience with me not getting documentation correct. I pointed out to him that he had not been telling me that they needed correction and that shut him up. I'm very proud of what I've learned by myself by observation and asking co-workers who have even said they do not think it's fair I have not received training. I've asked my supervisor repeatedly for help and he tells me he has no time snd will not look me in the eye. I am so stressed and came very close to walking out today which would be foolish. But I realize I have pushed myself and stuck with this and fought for 7 months and it is not been good for my mental health or my physical health, I am realizing. Part of my hindrance in walking out and quitting is there is something called ageism out there. But it's time to leave and tomorrow jobs searching starts. I really hope you get this figured out about what you want to do and what you need for yourself to feel gratification.

26. AnonymousMarch 18,2022 at 2:20AM UTC

    Maybe give it some time and come back to your question above after you’ve taken some time to process the new changes a bit?

    is it possible you were in your other job to a point where you weren’t learning new things and it became redundant so now with everything new it might just be a little overwhelming for you?

    along my journey I heard a story about an officer in the military giving birth, hating coming back to work and wanting to leave. The advice given was “give it 90 days”. For her having a baby and coming back to a stressful job was a lot all at once. So the 90 day duration was an amount of time to process the transient change in daily life so that at 90 days hopefully there was a battle rhythm and time for more reflection to answer whether she wanted to leave the military or not. Hope that helps. Good luck!

27. AnonymousMarch 18,2022 at 2:42AM UTC

    I was in a similar position as you. I left an employer after 10 years, long overdue for a change, the unfortunate thing is I took the first offer that came along without much thought. Maybe 6 months in I began to realize it wasn't for me. Place was run by a rookie at running an organization and it was a mess. I started taking steps to ensure I would be okay without a job for a little while then the person in charge hastened my department. Currently still looking, but being much more mindful on what I'm applying for and took steps to overhaul my resume, work with a coach, etc.

    Long story short: start looking. Take the steps you need and be really mindful about what you want to do and where you want to go, what you will and won't accept in an employer.

28. AnonymousMarch 18,2022 at 4:21AM UTC

    Two things are true:

    1. New jobs have learning curves.
    2. Your current job is not (yet) providing a particularly supportive environment in which to master your duties.

    I’d suggest that you pursue several courses of action simultaneously:

    1. Ask your boss (and HR if available) for additional training on areas of the job that are giving you difficulty. This is a proactive and reasonable request. A response of “You should know that by now,” is not helpful.
    2. Start putting your resume out for a new job. Interview outside of business hours if needed. You can leave your current job off your CV if desired.
    3. If returning to your former company would be attractive to you, make inquiries.
    4. You mention that your current job is not what you thought it would be. Is this a dealbreaker? If so, resigning might make sense, but trying to resolve matters at your current company and looking for another job while you continue to work there are good first steps. If the situation at your current company does not improve, you can of course resign. To prepare for this possibility, try to create a financial cushion.
29. AnonymousMarch 18,2022 at 12:31PM UTC

    If no help is being offered and your boss has no desire to offer any assistance in any way, I'd start looking for another position. No job is worth your mental health. Take care of yourself and good luck.

30. Liz MilneMarch 19,2022 at 3:09AM UTC

    No help available is awful: leaves you feeling completely unsupported...

    Having said that, by seven months in, you should be settled and on top of things: is there a reason why you're not? Lack of training, lack of motivation, toxic colleagues?

    Or are you quite passive, waiting to be told what to do?

    That can be frustrating in a busy environment when everyone else has their work to be getting on with and don't have time for hand-holding...

31. AnonymousMarch 21,2022 at 7:14PM UTC

    I cannot tell you if you should quit or stay. That is a personal decision. I have a few questions:

    * Do you like to job despite it's challenges?

    * What aspects of the job is most challenging?

    * In a perfect world, what type of support would be helful?

    * Is there someone who you could ask to mentor you?

    I hope these questions will help you to identify what you need to help you to work through this challenge.

    All the best!

32. AnonymousMarch 28,2022 at 1:32PM UTC

    Hi everyone!

    thank you all so much for the advice and guidance on this post. I just wanted to update everyone and let you all know that I reached out to my manager and asked for additional support where I felt I needed more to truly get to a better spot in my role. She indirectly told me she wishes she had the time but she simply doesn’t and she feels that I don’t take the initiative to find additional support I need… after careful thought and consideration I decided to give my two weeks notice last Thursday. My last day is on April 7th. I don’t have a job lined up, I decided to get out of a tough situation and see what doors will open up from here.

    thanks again