I’m in a situation where I’ve been leading a complex project for 3 months successfully, making steady progress and collaborating with many stakeholders.

Anonymous

June 19,2022 at 9:29PM UTC

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I’m in a situation where I’ve been leading a complex project for 3 months successfully, making steady progress and collaborating with many stakeholders. A new male colleague was recently hired on my team at a higher level than me. He was asked to provide feedback and help on this project. So far, he has offered a few small helpful suggestions, but has primarily repeated the foundational work I already did and presented it out to everyone as though it’s fresh work. He makes subtle public comments about pushing my work further but offers no concrete recommendations about how.

I left my last company after being passed over for a promotion I deserved while 3 men who did less impactful work than me held that role. It was traumatizing and I’m nervous this could become a similar situation.

I’ve been considering if/how to discuss the issue with my manager (who is an empathetic woman) and may have unintentionally put me in this situation by asking him to weigh in on the project. I was thinking of asking about moving him to a different project that needs more resourcing. I’m very open to feedback on my work when it’s constructive but I get the feeling this guy has something to prove by subtly undermining me.

any ideas?

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AnonymousJune 20,2022 at 12:52AM UTC
Be less helpful to him, give him minimal info so if you are in the same room to participate he can’t bite off your work and you can step right in to save the day. Be as vague as humanly possible so that he cannot connect the dots. Do it covertly so he does not realize what you are doing.
Barb HansenJune 20,2022 at 2:14AM UTC
1- Talk to your manager:
If, as you say, your manager is supportive, then you should absolutely talk to her about your current situation with New Hire and get her feedback and/or suggestions. Her job is to make sure projects are completed and that her staff is productive (in that order), so tread carefully, your manager may be super supportive and understanding but she's not a "non-management-line" mentor, she is your manager and if she's been told to integrate New Hire, she may not be able to help you.
2-Trust your gut
If you think someone is undermining you, they probably are, so tread carefully around New Hire. If your manager doesn't provide any helpful suggestions, you can:
2.a-Limit the information you give New Hire
2.b-Call New Hire out when he says obvious things or he repeats what you just said.
2.c-Never let New Hire interrupt you
If you are talking and he starts to talk over you, keep talking and look him in the eye until he stops talking.
2.d-Disinformation may be your friend
You can give New Hire disinformation (nothing damaging to the project) and see where that disinformation spreads too. You'll know what's shared, and how far that information spread. Knowing that information may help you determine if New Hire is undermining you.
Good luck
Karen LordJune 20,2022 at 1:12PM UTC
To add to what others have said about talking to your manager, the discussion will go better if you have tangible, concrete examples.
So, for example, take a copy of your earlier work and his more recent 'fresh work' and show how they are effectively the same to demonstrate how the two of you overlapping is a waste of his time and company resources. This makes it less about you not liking it (which is absolutely totally valid, it would make most of us frustrated too!) and focuses it on language companies respond to.
If you have emails that effectively do the same, take a handful of those.
And make notes of meetings were this has happened too.
Have you considered approaching the individual directly? As a woman who worked at an executive level with men for a decade, I found some were more open to direct feedback versus involving others.
AnonymousJune 22,2022 at 3:04PM UTC
Great feedback, thank you!
Karen LordJune 23,2022 at 8:10AM UTC
Any time! Good luck.
AnonymousJune 20,2022 at 2:37PM UTC
It sounds like your an easy target for this guy.
I would definitely have a discussion about what's going on with you manager but I would also consider building your leadership skills with courses and coaching so that you build the confidence you need to shut this kind of thing down.
AnonymousJune 22,2022 at 3:07PM UTC
thanks for the feedback.
I’ve taken leadership courses. I need to go back and review the material because my self doubt is getting triggered by this situation. Good suggestion.