Sexism at work?

4 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 27,2025 at 2:12PM UTC

   It's hard to give advice not knowing what was said to you, but if what is being said makes you feel bad, it likely was meant to. Often, "jokes" are actually microaggressions designed to make you feel insecure. Next time someone makes a sexist "joke," you could try saying "I don't get it. Could you please explain it?" Then make them go into great detail, hopefully embarrassing THEM and putting a stop to it. You could also fight fire with fire; "that was a pretty good report for a man." Be careful not to cross the line and say something that gets you fired, but also don't just let it all go. I encourage you to go to the office with your head held high, looking your best and most confident. You ARE qualified for this position, so don't let these fools gaslight you to make you think otherwise.

2. Barb HansenSeptember 27,2025 at 4:34PM UTC

   Firstly, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s exhausting to have to manage your work and other people’s bad behavior, when all you want is to contribute and grow.

   Even if you’re already looking for a new role, here are a few things I’d try to help you get through the time you’re still with this company:

   Find a mentor or ally.

   Look beyond your immediate team if you have to. Ideally a woman, but a strong ally works just as well. Sometimes the “banter” you’re experiencing is part of a department’s micro-culture rather than the whole company. A mentor can help you read the room, navigate politics, and feel less alone.

   Talk to your manager.

   Frame it in terms of wanting to succeed. For example:

   “I notice that my ideas aren’t landing, what do you suggest?”

   “I want to bring my best self to the team. Did you face similar challenges when you started?”

   This puts the issue on the table without it sounding like a complaint. The hope is that your manager starts to notice the marginalization and takes it seriously.

   Build your skills and toolkit.

   If your company offers management or leadership training, take it, even if you don’t want to be a people manager. These programs often include practical communication strategies for handling interruptions, difficult personalities, and different styles.

   Practical tactics that worked for me:

   Keep talking when interrupted. Hold your ground with confidence.

   Name it when your idea is re-stated by someone else. Something like: “Yes, that’s what I suggested earlier—let’s expand on it together.”

   Follow up by email. If you know you’ve contributed a good idea, document it in writing for visibility.

   Use your own style. I often leaned on humor, but you don’t have to. Some people find directness works better. Use the tone that feels authentic to you.

   Most importantly, remember this: none of this is a reflection of your abilities or value. These dynamics say more about the culture of the team than about you.

3. AnonymousSeptember 27,2025 at 11:49PM UTC

   Public v private....honestly not much different. Inappropriate comments, harassment, bias are common wherever the leadership and culture permit. You never take anything for granted I've found. You just know yourself, you advocate for your development as a professional, your comfort as an individual, your stimulation as a contributor and finally your joy as a spiritual being which should always be a consideration. No one can make you feel small. So if you are feeling not so confident I would ask yourself why you are giving your power away.

4. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdSeptember 30,2025 at 12:50PM UTC

   Hello!

   If the comment is in any way directed at your looks, intelligence, dress, emotions, or actions in regards to being a female - and it's spoken by a male - it can be deemed sexist.

   More than once I've heard it said, "If you even think it's ok to talk to a female employee that in any way refers to her being female... Chances are it's not."