Struggling with changing to a new job.

Anonymous

April 19,2022 at 12:41PM UTC

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Struggling with changing to a new job.

When I resigned from my current employer they matched the pay increase and took away one of the main reasons why I am leaving; but that problem will still be around and not sure if current employer can make the poblem stay away.) The reputation of the new employer is very positive and I would be doing the same thing over there. I have been with my old employer for 13 years and I just don't know if I am struggling with the move because I have been at my old job for a while and don't want to upset them (I'm a people pleaser) but I also don't want to regret not trying something new....

I understand there are there are bigger problems than this. And everyone is telling me go with your gut or our heart. Right now they are split 50/50. And I have done the pros and cons list leaving c0mpensation out of it as that is equal.

Anybody have any idea how else to decide?

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AnonymousApril 19,2022 at 1:14PM UTC
If your current company matched the role you were offered and you stay, that would be accepting a counter offer. Not a good idea. The current company only paid you what you are worth because you were going to leave. What happens next time you expect a raise?
Kerry Murphy-HammondApril 19,2022 at 1:22PM UTC
It's hard for me to say because I don't know what the problem is that's going to be sticking around, but I have found the following exercise helpful when it comes to making a decision around changing roles within my company (I've been with the same place 23 yrs). I would spend some time with the question "What needs to be true for me to be happy here, in this role". It sounds simple, but if you do it honestly, you will find your answer. For example, if that problem needs to be gone for you to be happy in your current role....it's time to leave. I also understand the people pleasing aspect....which is a hard habit to break. I promise though, it's ok to do what's best for you!
Melinda JedrzejewskiApril 19,2022 at 1:34PM UTC
Thank you for your reply. The problem is a person, who is technically above me. I have bee having to babysit him and been being blamed for his mistakes. I have had t report his actions or non actions to the big bosses. There sill has been no action for the problem person's action. I am concerned about management.
CeliaApril 19,2022 at 1:27PM UTC
I would recommend listening to your guts/stomach: connect to it and see when it tightens, is it to the idea of staying or leaving?
Will you get anything else out of where you are now? Do you want to change environment or are you content and satisfied with what you have now without feeling the need for a change?
Hopefully that helps :)
Megan LeasherApril 19,2022 at 1:57PM UTC
^^^ THIS ^^^
What is your intuition telling you?
TerryApril 19,2022 at 2:11PM UTC
Hi there, congratulations! You are in a very good place. I'd leave for the new opportunity, it seems you are already regretting the idea of not taking this new job. Give your two weeks and be appreciative, don't burn any bridges and if the new jobs doesn't work out -- maybe you can have your old job back. Jumping into the unknown is scary but it's also exciting and it's where you will grow and meet new. people. I say "Go for it." I hope this helps!
Mindy ClaggettApril 19,2022 at 2:32PM UTC
If your current company didn't value you enough to offer you better compensation BEFORE this offer, they aren't going to value you in the future.
You could google hundreds of anecdotes from people whose current employers matched an offer, then the employees end up regretting staying and leave anyway. What were you looking for, besides more money, when you applied elsewhere? You're obviously not fulfilled in your current role, or you wouldn't be doubting yourself right now. I say make the move, because you never know what might open up for you at the new company. Good luck!
IntentionGirl630054April 19,2022 at 3:11PM UTC
If it is 50/50, you've already left with your head, take your heart along. I stayed once - partly out of loyalty and the salary update was matched, but I regretted it, and left within a year.
Melinda JedrzejewskiApril 19,2022 at 3:29PM UTC
I think that is what I needed to hear.... THANK YOU
AnonymousApril 19,2022 at 3:31PM UTC
It's fine to stay put where your comfortable and feel safe.
You can always find a great job later when you're feeling more positive and energized for the future.
To make a lateral move with no substantial bump from where you are, no promotion in title no change in responsibility is really not a reason enough to leave. Wait for something spectacular where you aren't just feeling 50/50..
AngieApril 20,2022 at 8:34PM UTC
I agree with the comments below. Most employees who stay regret it and leave within a year. Leaving is a good way to see and learn new things and who knows eventually you could go back to your old company with new skills and into a better job.