Inappropriate questions during an interview

34 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 27,2024 at 7:13PM UTC

   That’s very inappropriate and I’m sure doesn’t look good to the candidates. I would get advice from your direct manager which should in turn speak with the CHRO if your org has one. Go into it as something you felt was uncomfortable for you and the candidates. That’s really all you can do but if it were me I’d take my talents elsewhere.

   I wouldn’t stay in a place like that as it affects your company’s brand which in turn you also represent. Your leader is not too bright I take it. SMH.

2. AnonymousOctober 28,2024 at 12:11PM UTC

   I don't believe OP should immediately jump ship because of this. You'd be amazed at how many people out there are truly clueless when it comes to interviewing, what is and what is not appropriate, etc. Most can be coached through this.

3. AnonymousOctober 28,2024 at 7:47PM UTC

   Oh I'm well aware. I've been in the hiring realm for over 28 years. Many people who interview are not skilled at it, are clueless or not professional at all.

4. AnonymousOctober 27,2024 at 11:01PM UTC

   I have had this happen on more than one occasion. If you aren't comfortable with addressing this directly with her, I would discuss with your manager. Do you have some sort of an interview guide you could provide her? If not, not difficult to put one together (there are many resources out there that will provide you with illegal questions - and some along with the 'why' of why the questions are illegal that you could provide to her).

5. AnonymousOctober 28,2024 at 2:05PM UTC

   I agree you need to introduce an interview guide "targetted interviews". Each question needs to examine the rationale of why the question is being asked. It could have been unintentional and for the children's age question, maybe the CEO was looking to see if the candidate needed support and flexibility.

   While in the interview, you'll need to think on your feet, cut in real quickly and rephrase the question (when asking about children's ages) 'our work culture is very supportive and flexible for our employees can you tell me a time when you had demonstrate flexibility in your course of action ?

   Immediately after the interview, apologize to your CEO for cutting them off and tell them that the phrasing of the question has implications for discrimination, but you understood that they were trying to ask something deeper and pertinent to the company and job.

6. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 2:31AM UTC

   so frustrating, reminds me of time when I was interviewing for a promotion and my director asked me (unrelated and irrelevant to what we were talking about) when I was planning on having kids. other managers were present, nobody said anything, you could hear a pin drop.

   If your boss is asking those questions, it’s really setting the tone for company culture and dynamics. I would absolutely recommend stepping in as delicately as possible to salvage the interview. Regarding the ages of children, I would just jump in and use it as an opportunity to review what benefits your company offers for families. Regarding the young and attractive comments, was it meant in a physical way? I’ve called candidates attractive before but it was based on their resume (ex: Jane Doe is an attractive candidate; she has 5 years of experience)

7. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 12:08PM UTC

   Your instincts are spot on. Not only is this behavior inappropriate, but it’s against the law that protects candidates from discriminatory hiring practices. You should report it to HR immediately and have them handle it, as it opens up the organization to lawsuits.

8. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 12:28PM UTC

   Maybe instead of talking to her about what she has already said, prior to the next interview, do a quick reminder to the whole panel about what things cannot be asked in interviews to avoid the appearance of discrimination. You could also give some "good question" ideas and/or discuss what types of qualities you are looking for in a candidate and how best to evaluate those during the interview process. She may not realize how she sounds or maybe she has forgotten that there are things that shouldn't be asked or said. If it continues, then you may want to discuss it more directly with her or with a manager or HR, depending on how the company is structured.

9. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 12:52PM UTC

   Ok this one is easy. It is a panel interview you said so that usually means more than one person. I would suggest that you create a training education one page document and prior to hosting any interviews, go over the document of the in and outs(illegal or potentially illegal) topics with all participants. Just make it part of the interview package you hand out. I realize it is your CEO, but let everyone know this is being covered so we don't open the company up to lawsuits or legal actions.

   The other thing you can do is turn your CEO into the EEOC if they don't stop after you try to protect yourself and the company.

10. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 12:55PM UTC

    The CEO should be able to take some critical feedback. Why not just bring it to their attention by saying you have noticed they ask some questions that are not appropriate and some that may be considered not legal and do they even realize that. And that you would not want to put the company or them at risk by not bringing it to their attention. The age of children thing they could easily think was just their way of taking interested and making conversation, people outside of HR don't always realize that could lead to potential discrimination.

11. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 3:17PM UTC

    Considering that most of the inappropriate questions that get asked in interviews are asked of women- I would have to believe the CEO knows the questions are inappropriate, at best.

12. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 1:01PM UTC

    Is there a policy in place? If not, advocate for one. Always best if you can refer to something bigger than yourself, and safer. Get the policy developed and have training for all interviewers required to take it. It won't be instant results - but safest for you (politically). Good luck!

13. AnonymousNovember 2,2024 at 12:45PM UTC

    The policy is called Equal Employment Opportunity and is part of the Human Rights Commission. Every manager should be updated with the law, even when many don’t even care about reading it, but they don’t need a policy for the company to get in legal troubles because of that.

14. Tina MorenoOctober 30,2024 at 1:16PM UTC

    In the heat of the moment-- Redirect the Interview: If you’re in the moment and the CEO makes an offhand comment, try gently redirecting to keep the focus on the candidate’s skills. You might say, “That’s great—let’s dive back into how your experience fits with the role!” This keeps things moving without making it a big deal.

    Bring It Up as a “Best Practices” Tip: Find a moment to chat privately with the CEO as a follow-up to the interview. Then, you could say something like, “I wanted to mention something regarding interview guidelines. Certain questions, like those about age or family, can unintentionally lead to risks, even if they’re casual. It’s always best to steer clear of those areas just to ensure everything stays fully compliant. I thought it might be helpful to keep in mind as we go forward”.

    Suggest a Quick Training for Everyone: You could casually bring up the idea of a quick training session, framing it as a refresher for everyone on the panel. Something like, “I was thinking a quick refresher on interview do’s and don’ts might be nice for everyone involved, just to keep us all on the same page.” This way, it’s more about team best practices than singling anyone out.

15. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 1:30PM UTC

    These questions about children and especially their ages are a direct and intentional attempt to find out if the applicant would be available for overtime and if the applicant would take time off for child care. It happened to me years ago. The man doing the interview purposely trapped me into telling him how many children I had. I fell for it too and recovered in time to not reveal their ages. I conducted interviews on an earlier job and I was instructed to never ask questions about marital status or children, or anything personal. I'm sure that is bordering on being illegal. It is definitely discriminatory. The comments about the candidate's appearance is also unethical and should be addressed. Talk to HR for some direction, but always keep in mind HR is there more to protect the company than you in my experience. But you still might find some help there. Other than that, talk to another supervisor for some help. Good luck.

16. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 1:48PM UTC

    Find an external document from someone like SHRM of “10 things not to ask in an interview”. Send it out with a very neutral message, something about wanting to share your favorite helpful tips.

17. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 2:04PM UTC

    Definitely advocate for the candidate in the moment and find a strategic way to pivot to a relevant (and legal) question they can answer. Perhaps you can have someone circulate an advisory about interviews and particularly highlight legal and illegal questions for your state. If your CEO values bottom line over ego, she will want to avoid wanting lawsuits.

18. AnonymousOctober 30,2024 at 2:07PM UTC

    Also the young and attractive comment could be construed as sexual harassment. All it takes is for the interviewee to see it that way. If she were a man, women would automatically see it as sexual harassment.

19. Rebecca RuettigerOctober 30,2024 at 2:17PM UTC

    HP did this to me to screen me out and choose not hire me because I was a woman of a certain age who wanted children. So they refused to hire me because I wanted kids so they didn’t want to have to deal with my maternity leave.

20. Michelle StewartOctober 30,2024 at 2:45PM UTC

    I once learned I got a job because I was the less attractive of the candidates and the hiring manager thought I'd be more effective at the job due to me being less attractive. It was a sting to the ego, but it was also a great job where I learned a great deal about how to be a leader. She said she never regretted hiring me and we are still great friends to this day. So, while pretty privilege exists, it was the one time I benefited from not being as physically attractive.

    So, it's not ideal, but it is real world. It happens.

21. Maggie StoneOctober 30,2024 at 6:55PM UTC

    Provide a mandatory training on appropriate interview questions.

22. Regina BrownOctober 30,2024 at 7:58PM UTC

    Oh, you HAVE to say something, Honey!!! Your CEO is going to get the company sued due to her "archaic" and extremely inappropriate/discriminatory comments.

    My suggestion? Go to HR and make them aware of what could be "coming down the pipeline" due to the CEO not being in the 21 century....I'm just saying....

23. AnonymousOctober 31,2024 at 10:16AM UTC

    Unfortunatelly there are no easy solutions for this common problem. No matter how delicate you are in saying this is not a proper question (go through HR, whatever), the hiring manager can probably identify you and will choose some other candicate for some other reason (and it could be a good reason, by the way).

24. Jessica TolbertOctober 31,2024 at 12:57PM UTC

    Report to EEOC. See something, say something

25. Katia MahiddineOctober 31,2024 at 1:45PM UTC

    I recommend you draft a shortlist of do's and don'ts in interview to protect the company's interest from discrimination law suits to help hiring managers (in general not just her) avoid these types of comments/questions. She should appreciate it and it will position you as a subject matter expert. Do it as part of a best practice interview process implementation and it should help you feel less uncomfortable than calling it out directly especially since you are new to the company/role. Good luck!

26. AnonymousOctober 31,2024 at 4:15PM UTC

    Can you bring it up with the HR manager or senior leader? I would not stand by and ignore. I wonder why she would ask this. Be curious. Perhaps make your thoughts known that the interviews are not as consistent with some candidates being asked personal questions that are not typical for an interview and see if you can prepare a list of questions that fit different points of view for the interview. While there will be follow up questions that are not asked of each candidate, you will have a consistent compliant list.

27. AnonymousNovember 1,2024 at 7:12AM UTC

    You are rude! YOU may be paid to carry out orders, but the majority of people are paid to contribute in a positive way and to speak up when something isn’t right. Don’t be a parrot or a rug.

28. AnonymousNovember 1,2024 at 2:19PM UTC

    It could be said that you posting 'anonymously' is the "catty negative individual."

    Just because you disagree with what someone says doesn't make them a "catty a negative individual." Try seeing this issue from their POV instead of trying to shut down POVs that go against your POV.

29. AnonymousNovember 3,2024 at 12:51AM UTC

    You are so wrong in this instance, it is not your job to tell somebody to "keep their mouth shut? This site is for constructive respectful and supportive comments and your replay was neither of those. I reported it to the admind FYI. This person deserves to share and be in peace not accosted by some hostile shrew such as yourself.

30. AnonymousNovember 2,2024 at 12:29PM UTC

    Can you suggest an EEO training for everybody? If she is doing that in interview, for sure she doesn’t know how to deal with other situations at work. Maybe as some general benefit to protect the company, not pointing at a specific person.

31. AnonymousNovember 2,2024 at 12:31PM UTC

    Activist? The company can be sued if this person is violating equal employment laws.

32. AnonymousNovember 2,2024 at 12:39PM UTC

    Actually, many companies have a policy that if you see a violation and you don’t say something, your job is at risk. I went through an unfair discipline process recently, was blamed for a whole project failing, they used me as scapegoat for the team. They included my reasonable accommodation in the paperwork as an excuse of why it failed, putting in jeopardy also that legal protection. When I showed my evidence and told them directly that action was illegal and I was trying to fix it first in good faith, they knew I was oriented in the law and gave them enough grace to fix it. Weeks later the person that apparently caused this illegal action blaming me for his shortcomings was out of the company. If an investigation happens, the company gets in legal troubles and they find out you were covering your behind, you are out. Plus if this person’s position is some type of management position, employee handbooks usually say managers are obligated to report. Now, as a human with values, nobody should be ok with situations that can end in discrimination. I wouldn’t want an employee with the mentality of look the other side, that means that person doesn’t care to learn and be better.

33. Kryssy SantanaNovember 3,2024 at 12:49AM UTC

    Wow. No wonder you kept you reply as anonymous. This sounds almost threatening, wonder if you work at her company. Harrassment is everybody's problem at work and she has an obligation to report that. What terrible advice.

34. AnonymousNovember 3,2024 at 11:26PM UTC

    HR here, your CEO's questions are absolutely discriminatory. Where is the HR Director? Our HR Director as well as myself would never let this happen. May suggest you take your concerns to HR and let them handle it.