Dear FGB friends,

27 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 22,2024 at 8:50PM UTC

   I think it doesn't matter the reason for the disciplinary actions the motive remains the same.....they want you gone. For whatever reason, they will eventually find a way. So what exactly would you be fighting for?

   I would consider taking their package and spending some time focusing on healing and the blessings in your life. You are off track, you are in pain and you are lost. These events do not define you if you don't let them. Therapy can help as can time away resting and developing your sense of self and finding your place in the world.

   I wish you well.

2. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 2:56AM UTC

   I couldn't have said it better. I totally agree.

3. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:38PM UTC

   Precisely. I feel like even if I fight this round and survive again… survive for how long? If they want me out, they’ll keep trying. And if this is how this round hit me, I won’t survive another.

4. AnonymousJune 22,2024 at 9:22PM UTC

   Just go. No job is worth this. You are very lucky to have a spouse bringing in enough to support you so that you can leave. So many women don't have this

5. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:38PM UTC

   Thank you. I am so grateful to him. We are only married two years but he has been incredible in all of this

6. AnonymousJune 22,2024 at 9:52PM UTC

   I feel your pain. I was with a company for 3 years when my new boss just plain didn't like me. Worked so hard to get me to disappear. I ended up being told my position is being eliminated and was offered severance. I could have fought it because said boss provided ample evidence of sexism. However, I was miserable there with all the drama anyway. Life is too short. I took the severance and left. It took me months to get over the injustice but I am happier now. Put your own mental wellbeing first. Sometimes that means leaving something you are attached to. Wish you all the best!!

7. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:37PM UTC

   Thank you so very much. I am exhausted and broken.

8. AnonymousJune 22,2024 at 10:03PM UTC

   QI've been on the receiving end of those. Take the severance, negotiate a model employee reference, rest, recover, finish your hard -earned PhD and move on to better things. You were a threat to someone; anything this crazy is sex, money, or drugs until proven otherwise.

9. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:37PM UTC

   Honestly my husband said the same. He thinks it’s likely sex and I have been too close to finding out the truth.

10. Cristina.KolletJune 23,2024 at 1:34PM UTC

    No job is worth what they are putting you through. No job is worth unaliving yourself.

    If someone so clearly wanted me out, I'd leave.

    Make sure the severance doesn't have strings attached. (Sounds like you could survive without it.) Don't sign anything without your attorney looking out over. If someone is making you a scapegoat you don't want to sign anything that looks like an admission of guilt.

    Keep all your documents related to what happened.

    You'll be free to find work where you're wanted and appreciated.

11. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:36PM UTC

    Thank you. I am UTTERLY exhausted.

12. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 2:33PM UTC

    Involve counsel before signing severance.

    And then leave! To make sure I understand, you were already able to successfully defend yourself once, and they renewed attacks on you.

    Someone there is powerful, unhinged and threatened by you…they won’t give you peace until you leave or capitulate…no thanks! There are betters workplaces, really!

13. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:33PM UTC

    Yes that’s exactly it! I defended the initial set of allegations. I defended it in front of an external advocate who is a labour court judge. I was found innocent. They then responded that they do not accept his findings and added additional fabricated charges. A few hours after sending me that, they called me into a meeting stating they are offering me a mutual separation agreement. To say it’s been a rollercoaster would be an understatement. They are, like you say, completely unhinged.

14. BarbaraJune 23,2024 at 5:00PM UTC

    If you really are innocent and not just naive find an attorney and fight. If it’s a situation where you inadvertently screwed up take the package and move on.

15. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:34PM UTC

    I assure you I am not naive. I did not screw up. I was found innocent by an advocate they hired. They decided to reject his findings.

16. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 5:36PM UTC

    Honestly that’s exactly how I feel. I was planning on including refutations to all the new charges together with the signed mutual separation agreement and state that I would like it placed on record that my acceptance of the package does not in any way infer I am guilty of anything - I simply don’t have the energy and resources to fight big Pharma

17. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 7:26PM UTC

    I can’t tell you how uplifting this was for me to read. Thank you. That is my intention and I’m relieved.

18. AnonymousJune 24,2024 at 12:00AM UTC

    I would continue to work with my lawyer to ensure the severance is an acceptable amount, AND the documentation you sign 'settling' for the offer does not implicate you in any way regarding their false charges.

    I was in a similar situation ending an 18 year tenure, accused falsely, and fought mostly on my own for almost 6 months to clear my name. I fought for unemployment and received it for a full year up til the day I started my new job. With a lawyer's assistance, I received severance and cleared my name of accusations. It was completely exhausting. I used to call the HR Director every single week. I think they realized I was not going away and refused to be steamrolled.

19. AnonymousJune 24,2024 at 12:31PM UTC

    First, you have courage, that stands out, to come on here and share. You are not done fighting in any part of your life, you are empowered. I would suggest you find the happiness that is most important. Whether it comes with reconcilliation of events or continuing on to vindication, what do you want to do? Knowing full well that there may be continued odds up against you, you will want to learn how you will cope with those. Lean into your professionals to help walk you through all of the emotions that is coming with this experience. I say, experience, intentionally, it is NOT a definition of who you are, however, it is how you're feeling right now. Allow that, but reconcile yourself to a better you, outside of that job. I know you loved it, I can feel it in your words, but what is going to push you forward back to happiness? I could be continuing the fight to prove innocence, it could be accepting the severance with carefully reading the document that does not declare your admittance. Lean in to the professionals around you and love the support of your family and friends. YOU are the one who will walk away from this, and you will not only walk but also run towards a better you. So, what do YOU want to do? Accepting severance is not a guilty verdict. Protecting your mental well-being is paramount.

20. AnonymousJune 24,2024 at 12:59PM UTC

    I've found that "fighting" an issue, an injustice, VERY RARELY ends positively. Do you REALLY think you can be a hero and make this outcome different. Yep, it's a witch hunt..and your brain can't believe the reality of what is happening...which is why you are holding on. I had something similar happen about 6 years ago and it was UNBELIEVABLE, but I could not stop that train- I ended up losing my job. Girl, just take the severance...start journaling, and work with a therapist or good friend to help you grieve and manage your anger. It's not going to get better, and I KNOW it's super frustrating and not fair.

21. TomBooleyJune 24,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

    Someone is jealous of you - and very threatened. Get away from them. Your life will improve and they will get their karma one day.

22. SPNN4 SJune 24,2024 at 1:38PM UTC

    Take the deal and walk away from the stress and drama.

23. Liz MilneJune 24,2024 at 4:38PM UTC

    Whatever you decide to do (and honestly, it sounds like whoever it is who's out for you has poisoned that job for you going forward, so maybe walking away with your head held high would be best) DO NOT sign an NDA. Just say no.

    And good luck with your PhD, I'm in the end stages of my own!

24. Jonna Ferguson, ACCJune 24,2024 at 8:08PM UTC

    I'm so sorry this is happening and that it hurts so much. I understand personally, how clouded decision-making can become when faced with wrong perceptions and deceit.

    You asked what we would do if we were you, but you are the same strong, smart and successful person you used to be. Assuming you've already taken all necessary guidance from your attorney, I think you'll discover the answer by asking yourself two questions and making two lists of responses:

    What's possible if I stay?

    What's possible if I go?

    Consider in each scenario what moving forward looks like, what your time, health and wellness looks like, your relationships with family and friends, your perception of self, your growth opportunities. Think deeply about the reasons for your responses and what's truly important to you, so you can create the path forward that you're most connected to.

    Uncertainty can be scary, but maybe one of my favorite quotes will help that has guided me when making difficult choices. "We are not retreating - we are advancing in another direction." - Douglas MacArthur

    By sharing that, I'm not telling you to leave. Only that if you do, it doesn't mean you're giving up. You'll simply be moving into the unknown to design a life you love.

25. Khala GraceJune 25,2024 at 1:01AM UTC

    I'm sorry to hear that. Though I completely understand. There's an issue that doesn't get talked about enough - Occupational Oppression. From experience, I wanted to follow the lead of Willy Lowman. However, I was fortunate enough to have a best friend who helped me through those dark times. Music too has had impacted my decision to keep holding on and fight for my dreams. I suggest that you should do the same- no matter what, your life is important and you have the right to make the best of it! Even if the right job doesn't come right away, as long as you work for places that respect you as a person- then it makes it easier to keep a sound mind. Don't be afraid of exploring occupations and search for what gives you happiness. Stay well- I wish you the best ?

26. Leader135412June 25,2024 at 6:05PM UTC

    Prove your innocence, and let them know any further harassment will lead to a lawsuit. Find out who started the witch hunt and confront them . Your continued presence and strength to withstand, will be irritating to whoever is trying to get rid of you. And don't cry. Kill em with kindness, And that there is no way anything they're doing is going to effect you. If and/or when it blows over, find a new job and leave.

27. Valerie RiegerJune 26,2024 at 12:57PM UTC

    I don't have any advice, but reading that you tried to unalive yourself makes my heart hurt. Sending all of the good vibes and prayers for peace your way.