I have been having issues with my now-former employer lying about me.

19 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 22,2023 at 5:53PM UTC

   I would say, your best course of action is to put it all behind you and move on to your new job. Why he did it is irrelevant to your potential success at your new job. All you can do now is hope and pray that the new job is a better experience and the people around you have better ethical standards.

2. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

   Some bosses are weak and believe whatever they are told, especially IF they are sleeping with the person who is lying about you. YES, that happens. If the person the boss is sleeping with views YOU as a threat in any way, they will do their best to get rid of you, or at least hurt you beyond recognition. Of course, it's only in their imagination, because NO person who want's to keep a job they liked would ever sleep with the boss. My boss is weak and happens to believe ANYTHING this one woman tells him. She definitely has something on him, that's easy to figure out. What it is, I don't know. My mind doesn't automatically go to the gutter. But this particular woman is, how shall I say, NOT exactlty a lady. She's fat, dresses like a man, is a cunning liar. and 2-faced. Office help don't stick around for long, except one little flying monkey that is paid extremely well to do her bidding.

   It's shameful what this one person has done to everyone. We are ALL waiting for it to come full circle and slap her in the face.

   But, WHY does it take so long for a person like this to get back what they've been dishing out? She has hurt so many innocent people, some of which will never get over her behavior.

3. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 3:11PM UTC

   Sorry, but I have no answer, except sometimes Karma takes her own sweet time, but when it happens... look out, and don't get caught in the crossfire.

4. AnonymousSeptember 22,2023 at 6:06PM UTC

   The only person who can answer in your particular situation is your former employer. Your best bet? Put it behind you, forget about it, you are moving on to a new job. Focus on that.

5. AnonymousSeptember 22,2023 at 8:25PM UTC

   Unless he is costing you work or creating issues that you can prove he has damaged you professionally, I agree just let it go.
   This person is feeling very personally hurt or angry by your leaving and is acting out.

   If he is damaging you, I would hire an attorney to serve a cease and desist letter.

6. Joann S. LublinSeptember 24,2023 at 3:03PM UTC

   But you also don't want him being a negative reference some time i the future. So when you're job hunting again, you might want to hire a reference checking service and see whether he's still lying about you so you can rebut those fibs. Good luck in the new job!

7. AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 3:04PM UTC

   I'm sorry that happened. I know someone that this similar thing happened to them except it was a few coworkers who ganged up together and spread lies about their target and it got the target released from their contract. There wasn't any investigation or anything either. The target, last time I checked in with them is doing much better now and has now realized it was horrible that it happened but it got them out of a toxic group of people and business. However, they are still terrified of people lying about them and I don't think that psychological damage is easy to let go of.

   I would do my best if I were you to try and see this as a new fresh start. It hurts and I realize you're constantly asking "why," but that answer doesn't matter. Your employer did what they did and there's nothing that will change from knowing why they did it. Try to see that it's good you got out, even though it was a forced removal because that cannot be a great place overall if that's what they do to people.

   Sometimes it's as simple as not liking you, unfortunately, that causes people to target you or maybe it is jealousy, which is also very common. I know I was dismissed from a job because I stood up to the bullies who were harassing me and removing things from my desk daily, but they were friends with the boss who did like me not just taking the abuse. It was devastating, but a long while after I got fired, I realized what a sh*t show that place was and it was not for me. I hope you find a better place with better people who have morals and respect for each other.

8. AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 3:56PM UTC

   I had the same issue, I had 2 bosses[owned the company & married] and one of them oversead a department which they decided to close and focus on the rest of the store. After this happened, it got very toxic for me and he began to be a bully about every little thing done and would talk down to me in the middle of store where the other employees who reported to me and customers could hear. I ended up leaving prior to being fired as I knew it would eventually come because he simply didn't like me anymore.

   Why? I don't know and I still about it and ask why? I have come to the realization that people can be jerks and in my case I knew I knew more than him when it came to running the store day to day and the product knowledge. I would correct his mistakes when he made them[I know, dumb to do if it's your boss] but I was doing it for the good of the company.

   I found out a few weeks ago that they are still telling the employees that I want doing my job and that's why I left. Now this is just dumb, but I have to remember- I got of the toxic work and I can't force anyone to belive my story, it is absolutely frustrating especially when you tell the truth and you have someone spreading lies about you. In my case the two owners wrote me a recommendation letter, which really didn't add up "if I wasn't doing my job".

   I try to think to myself " what goes around comes around" it may not be now, but I do believe the person telling lies about you will get what's coming. When you tell lies- you eventually won't be able to remember what the details of the lie were.

9. AnonymousSeptember 24,2023 at 5:15PM UTC

   Well because they do! Write a firm letter to him telling him that you were made aware of his commentary sullying your reputation, cc the companies General Counsel, and the CEO and let them know that if this persists that you will take legal action against them naming him as a party to this. The letter should say cease and desist. I also assume they made you sign something that was an exit document? If so look for the defamation paragraph in there and recycle that in your letter letting them know that you expect reciprocal behavior from them and their employees. Be sure that you also ask that if anyone inquires about your tenure there that they only provide dates of employment and that is all. Don't let him get away with this behavior.

10. Joyce Breitweiser HallSeptember 24,2023 at 7:07PM UTC

    There are a lot of people who have mental health issues that are part of their brain wiring. They do not think and behave rationally because they’re brains do not operate that way. With enough observation, their actions become predictable. This could be a personality disorder.

    When you find someone like that, it is best to get far away from them. Some of them are dangerous; most are just extremely unpleasant to have to deal with. Some of them need to be threatened with legal action to get them to stop.

    If he is still badmouthing you, it would be smart to have a lawyer write a letter telling him to cease and desist.

    I’m glad you landed a new job and wish you the best.

11. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 5:46PM UTC

    I just want to say, as someone who has a long history of mental health care, this was hurtful to read.

12. Joyce Breitweiser HallSeptember 28,2023 at 12:43PM UTC

    I wasn’t talking about everyone with mental health issues; that’s a lot of people! The ones I referenced usually are the ones who deny they have a problem. If you are getting mental health care, you are unlikely to be part of this group. If you haven’t encountered the people I’m talking about, you are lucky! I hope you are getting the care you need to be able to enjoy life to the fullest.

13. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 12:46AM UTC

    No, lying, like claiming I attended events I was out of town.

14. Titra HamiltonSeptember 25,2023 at 2:16PM UTC

    I am glad that you landed a new job. People lie for a variety of reasons. My experience has been that people lie to try to protect themselves (e.g., cover up some deficiency that your performance inadvertently highlighted, prevent you from getting a promotion that they want, cover up the role they played in a project failure, etc.). Real leaders don't do that. Mature organizations do not accept the opinion of one person and do not reward blaming or shaming tactics. They get feedback from all parties involved, examine the facts and focus on how to do things better going forward. I wouldn't think much about why. I would let them know during the Exit Interview, but would be positive as to not burn any bridges. Good luck with the new job!

15. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 2:27PM UTC

    I found out 6 months after being let go (after 21+ years of loyal service) that one of the CAOs - yes, a CAO! - had been spreading a vicious rumor about me within the firm. Really just blew my mind.

    All I could think is that she must feel guilty on some level if I'm still living rent-free in her head 6 months after she fired me.

16. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 4:39PM UTC

    I agree with the comments below about the "leader"s" insecurity, etc. Take the high road.

17. AnonymousSeptember 25,2023 at 8:37PM UTC

    Congratulations on the new job! I agree with the insecurity comment. I wish my situation ended in no one listening to my ex-employer's comment (?) because 10 months later I still do not have a job.

18. Georgia SinghSeptember 26,2023 at 11:41PM UTC

    It's most certainly insecurity.

19. AnonymousSeptember 27,2023 at 6:17PM UTC

    Thank you everyone. Yeah I am letting it go. I will never use him as a reference, if I quit/get fired from my next job and am job hunting will not put him as a boss, I will just put HR who can verify dates.