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Hi!

I am currently in (what I think is) a bizarre situation. About 6 months ago, my dept. boss was promoted to a new position. She was great, and she really deserved the promotion. When the new boss came in, things changed drastically for me.

He has only met with me once to discuss my performance and what I should work on - and this was at my request. I also requested that we meet on a schedule - he said, okay, every two weeks, I'll put it on the calendar. That was almost three months ago, and a second meeting has never been scheduled or happened ad hoc.

He has redistributed or dismantled everything I was the primary worker on. He never gives me work unless I ask for it. I mean this in a literal sense. I have to go around to him and/or the other people at my level and basically beg for work. I'm at the point where I am reaching out and offering help and assistance to the other people every week (sometimes 2 or 3 times a week, depending on what I get back). When I message the boss directly, he gets back to me after an extended time and rarely has anything specific to say to me. I end up just doing afterthought add-ons to projects the other 3 are working on.

My position is project-based. I have one continuous project I'm working on, but it's not time-consuming in the least (and it's going really well - it's with a different department, and I've gotten no complaints from anyone over there either). I have finished a few other things that I have begged to do over the past few months, but my daily workload is a joke. I'm constantly scrambling to find things to do.

Some context and contrasts:

  • I met with my past boss every week or two. She gave me feedback, direction, and/or new projects.
  • New boss has 4 total direct reports (including me). In his previous position at the company, he had more direct reports than he does now.
  • New boss meets with the other 3 weekly, like clockwork (for a while he was meeting with them daily).
  • I think he is giving the other 3 an increased workload - they are so busy they often don't have time to respond to me about sharing work with me (we have to set meetings to chat, or they get back to me during their breaks/lunch). In meetings, they all talk constantly about how busy they are.
  • Things that were previously my responsibility have be re-delegated to the other 3. Things that fall within my specific job description are given to the other three. I don't think new boss has ever assigned me anything that did not result from me directly asking for more work (and following up until I get something out of him).
  • Most of my new work is coming from the other three direct reports.
  • With increasing frequency, meetings that have previously been very important for the whole team to attend and participate in are "optional" for me because they will be talking about things that I "don't need to worry about."
  • New boss has given me no feedback - other than vague platitudes like "This is great" or "thanks for your help" but he doesn't give me work or tell me why he's not giving me work - If I suck at the job, and that's why he's avoiding me, at this point, I would LOVE to hear that. I feel like I'm barely an employee at this point.

What do I do in this situation? I'm looking for other jobs, and focusing on up-skilling like a madwoman. But my confidence is completely shot. I don't know why I'm being pushed out like this. I keep wondering what I've done to end up in this position. Since I can't get any feedback, I end up assuming it's because I'm an idiot and unable to communicate and my work sucks and... etc.

I'm honestly afraid to bring up the lack of work and feedback more directly because new boss's behavior seems so deliberately exclusionary at this point. Will pointing out I have barely anything to do give him more ammunition to fire me or eliminate my position?

The reason this post is so long:

I have no idea what to do. This doesn't make any sense to me. I've never turned down an assignment - even when it was something tedious and unimportant. I've never been told my work was unsatisfactory or been given a bad performance review (the whole time I've worked at the company). I'd be glad to do anything at this point, and I try to communicate that by being as grateful and helpful as possible when I do get work.

What do I do? Do I just have to resign myself to begging for work and feedback until I get let-go or find a new job?

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42 Comments

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  1. Robin Lampert

    Have you reached out to your previous boss (who was promoted)? Could she help?

  2. Jennifer

    This was my first thought as well.

    OP, it sounds like you have a strong, mutually-respectful relationship with your old boss. I’d talk to her about it and see what advice she has. She knows you and your work, and I think it would be helpful for your psyche to talk this through with a person who has direct experience with your work quality.

    I’ve been in a similar situation, and this stuff just erodes at self-confidence until you start questioning if you had ever actually done a good job. In those moments, I’ve found that getting confirmation/affirmation of the quality of my work from people who know it was both grounding and comforting.

    Your old boss might have a space for you in her org, or know of an upcoming/open position in another department. She would be a great advocate as you apply to internal roles, too.

    I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you find a better opportunity quickly. One where you can thrive and grow, where you and your work will be respected and appreciated.

  3. Charise Van Liew

    Is speaking with HR an option? The fact that he has starkly different behavior with his other direct reports is not ok.

  4. Kristie White

    Ok, here’s the bad news…your new boss has already eliminated your position.
    He is pushing you out. Since he has made no effort to get to know you or your work, I doubt it has anything to do with you. He wants to prove himself (“I can accomplish the same amount of work with less people than the previous manager!” So there is no position for you in the department. It may even be driven by some kind of personal bias (gender for example) but I don’t think you can prove it. So look for a new position. He intends to remake the department without you to meet some personal agenda. And HR can’t help you because I don’t hear any abuse here, just a new management direction. It’s his call.

  5. Anonymous

    Original Post-writer here:

    Thanks - this makes sense. Hearing what I was guessing was happening from an outside party helps me feel less crazy.

  6. Anonymous

    You are being prepared fir dismissal through no fault of your own .

    Unfortunately the boss does no see your value and has most likely been told he is to trim headcount abd you have been chosen to be the one to let go.

    He has probably been given until November when new budgets abd headcount are approved to keep you on to ensure tge team has transitioned your work and no longer need your assistance.

    I would not pursue this as a co frontational issue. You are frozen out and any attempt to resolve it will likely just move up the timeline for your exit.

    My read of the situation is that it's just a matter of time. Again, you did nothing wrong here.

    So I would focus on getting a new job. Either with another department or outside your company. I would look at all opportunities in and out of your company.

    I would use this time as a gift. A run way to prepare yourself, update your resume and LinkedIn profile. Network like crazy, download your contact lists and get your personal appointments taken care of while you still have your benefits. VISION, DENTAL AND PHYSICAL. Make use of your spare time. Get your oil changed, do your errands. Get stuff done because you won't have all this free time when you start your new job.

    Finally, if your company has an EAP use it for beneficial programs like financial counseling, emotional therapy support, even career advice if they offer it.

    This is a gift. Use it.

  7. Anonymous

    Original Post-writer here:

    Thanks - this makes sense. Hearing what I was guessing was happening from an outside party helps me feel less crazy.

  8. Anonymous

    That’s what I did.
    I was praised at my previous job and I relocated to be in the office despite having the option to be remote. Then suddenly I had no work and I was basically told to keep my mouth shut. I even got a raise! I volunteered for every bit of work around the office and used the free time to interview and get appointments out of the way. I did what I could to stay and didn’t take advantage to the degree I could have , but I still made the most out of a bizarre situation. I still can’t understand it but I moved on.

  9. Anonymous

    don’t use EAP

    narcs

  10. Anonymous

    I always wondered about EAP and how truly anonymous it was. Many times I should have reached out due to my mental health, and never did.

  11. Anonymous

    NEVER EVER talk to EAP.

  12. Anonymous

    I did once...and was very vague about "depression", and also asked directly what they knew about the company I worked with etc. They said they didn't know anything. Still didn't trust it. Also notice how many people are posting here anonymously? Never know who is where, online.

  13. Anonymous

    100% never talk to EAP.

    I did once and my boss came to me a month later w suspicious questions that lined up w what i said to the therapist.

    it is technically illegal to do so but these companies will do whatever it takes.

  14. Anonymous

    Best advice thus far

  15. Anonymous

    Have you been with the company for over two years?

    If so, I would absolutely recommend scheduling in a formal (on record) meeting with your manager to address your concerns in a positive way, and then if no improvement escalating it to HR.

    If they are trying to push you out through no fault of your own (especially as you have explained you have no negative feedback on your work) then you absolutely should push this further.

    In my view, they’ll either improve your situation, offer you redundancy, another settlement figure should you have everything on record or go through employment tribunal procedures.

    If you’ve been with the company for under two years, unfortunately there’s not much you can do. I echo others that have recommended speaking to your previous manager, and applying for other jobs in the meanwhile.

    In any case, don’t blame yourself, it’s clear you’re passionate about your role and this isn’t your doing x

  16. Christi Lopez

    I agree that most likely what others have suggested is what's going on, but is it possible that your new boss doesn't understand what you do?

    I had something similar happen to me. I am the lone graphic designer for my office. In my previous office, my director understood what I did, my coworkers knew what I could offer and when they could come to me for things. I still actively sought out work, but there was a sense of understanding and open communication.

    When my previous office merged with another office, it took me months to get the new director to understand that I reported directly to her. I was outside the normal "unit" structure and when she communicated information to the unit managers, I didn't get it. It was so frustrating being out of the loop.

    It took me almost a year for her to get a handle on what I actually did (graphic design and accessibility), and almost 2.5 years to get the duplication of my job duties by staff from the other office ironed out so I could take ownership of duties that should've been mine all along.

    And six years in, the staff from the other office still don't think to come to me for marketing, presentations, etc. I have essentially evolved my position into being the "go-to" for other offices and a strong cross-office team player. On the downside, I am seriously underutilized by my coworkers. On the upside, I have strong connections to offices throughout out department, and have built a diverse portfolio of work that will serve me well should I decide to move on. It took a lot of work on my part to create my place in this department, but it was worth it.

    You may want to schedule a sit-down with your boss to have a frank conversation about what they think you do, what your job description says you should do, and what you see as your position within the office workflow.

  17. Anonymous

    I am in the exact same position, and it's frustrating that I made strategic career moves at this company, only to have a new regime come in who pushed my amazing boss out and replaced her with a man who has no idea what I do, will not take the time to understand what I do, and treats me like a glorified secretary. I've spent 8 months trying to make it work, but have accepted it's time to move on. It's them, not you. Just the fact that you are proactively seeking work shows you are an amazing person. Keep your head up and go find your next great position.

  18. Anonymous

    100% agree.

  19. KellyW43

    It looks like it's time for a meeting with you, him, his boss and HR.

    It's the only way you're going to get some answers. Otherwise, he's slowing eliminating you. You won't have a job for much longer.

    Check out other opportunities in your company and see if you're a good fit and apply.

    Otherwise, start applying elsewhere because essentially, you'll be out of a job soon.

  20. Mandy Kiernan

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I would put dedicated time on the calendar to meet with your boss yourself since he is not initiating it. Come prepared to confirm what you are doing and then be clear that you can further assist the department with additional projects. Ask for specifics/ideas of what you can lead during the meeting by putting your manager on the spot.

    Then, document, document, document. Record notes of your 1:1 (just high-level bullets) and send via email after your 1:1. It should look something like: "Thanks for meeting with me, to confirm, today we discussed..." then list it out. Include a line for "(Manager) to confirm additional assignments by x date." Or something like that. Retain all notes. If your manager does not accept the invite or does not show up, keep a log of of it and resend an invite. Try this a couple of times so you have the documentation.

    Next, meet with HR and provide factual (non-feeling) data on attempts to meet with your boss, or meetings with actions that your boss has not completed. Keep conversations as positive as possible- "I have more time and talent to give the organization."

    Finally, think about your fit within the department and organization. No job is worth your mental health.

  21. Anonymous

    Should you document all of this to take it to HR? Yes.

    is that going to help you keep your job? No.

    Usually first line managers aren’t in a position to formally eliminate a role from the company. That’s a higher level order. Usually has to take into consideration a number of factors your manager has no direct control over. But he can ignore you and give you low level work so when it’s time for formal review, compensation discussions and promotion opportunities—you’re not in the picture.

    You need to look for a new job! Hopefully you find one soon and it’s at a great company with a great boss who respects you.

  22. Anonymous

    I agree with all of this except the "go to HR" part... what are they going to do? Daily workload is your boss's job. Other replies have some great advice.

  23. Anonymous

    Providing formal feedback, coaching direct employees, and properly managing workloads is a manager’s job and likely part of the job description. If the manager is not fulfilling those areas and she has proof in writing he is showing favoritism to other employees by leaving her out of critical discussions, that absolutely is an HR issue. He may need some coaching or feedback or perhaps, a formal reprimand. This is the only reason to document her requests for feedback and additional work.

  24. Anonymous

    Correct. People think HR are there for the workers, which they are not.

  25. Anonymous

    I have been pushed out. New guy tried to treat me like his personal secretary. However, I was already doing three people’s jobs. When I started dreading getting up in the morning, I started sending my resume out. It took a while and in the meantime he tried to fire me only to be told I had exemplary reviews, and since we worked for the State could not just be fired for no reason. New boss came from private sector, HATED to be reminded he works for the state now, and therefore has rules to follow. He thought he would transfer me and make my life miserable. Actually the transfer was a blessing, made my life easier because I could do the job with my eyes closed and I had time to interview without worry about falling behind. It took a while but I found a new job, have been very happy with it. Have you reached out to your former boss? See this as the writing on the wall, see if there is somewhere you can transfer within the company or move on.

  26. Anonymous

    you are being pushed out

    document it to show you have a legal case of unfair unequal treatment and get as much money as you can from them to make you leave

    enjoy not having any work and getting a paycheck in the meantime

  27. Anonymous

    There is no legal cause of action called "unfair unequal treatment" and I grow weary of advice that instructs people to sue at the drop of a hat. There is nothing in her post that indicates the treatment is based on one of the protected classes "age discrimination, race discrimination, disability discrimination." Most states are employees at will which means the employer can fire the employee at will so long as its not based on a legally protected class as I descrived above.

  28. Liz Milne

    I would ask him, tbh. At least then you'd know... :/

  29. Anonymous

    I almost could have written this. I noticed I was not being copied on meeting coordination, my questions were being left on read, any initiative I tried to get off the ground was ignored, as were my twice-daily check in calls and my EOD summary emails. I felt like I was doing nothing and was utterly useless. A week ago I got called into a meeting and told my job was being "restructured". I'd seen it coming for months and was already looking elsewhere. My first and only performance review was amazing. My advice is hang in there but get aggressive about searching elsewhere. It's extremely mentally debilitating feeling like you do, and it does end up impacting performance, making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  30. Anonymous

    Better than my work life. I get slammed with work and my boss doesn't talk to me nor give me any backup so I can't take vacation.

  31. Anonymous

    You are getting laid off.

    Please stop questioning it and start looking for a job. Google the signs that you are going to get laid off. You’ve actually identified at least 5 of them : disinvited from meetings, not having enough work, manager is not meeting with you, people are ignoring you, you have a sense that something is not right

  32. Anonymous

    Yep

  33. Anonymous

    The exact same thing happened to me in August.

    New boss, responsibilities changed, little communication, and then I got laid off. I guess the only silver lining was when I saw those signs, I started putting out resumes.

  34. Kelly Gomez

    Be proactive in sending the boss a calendar invite stating that you are flexible to shift the date and time if it doesn't work with his schedule. See what happens. Don't wait for him to come to you and take the initiative. Don't think it necessarily means he wants to push you out, but others may have been more proactive early on and that is why they keep getting all the work. Also this gives you a way to document if he does not respond or allow for you to meet to do your job and take it to HR.

  35. Anonymous

    He is trying to get you to quit, it doesn’t look like has anything on you to fire you, so he is taking away your work and segregating you from the rest of the team to push you out the door.

  36. Anonymous

    He wants you to quit so they don’t have to pay unemployment or give you a layoff package. Keep volunteering in writing for assignments and doing good work when you get them . Continue looking for another job, too. Are there positions within the company you’d like to pursue? Can you set up a lunch with previous boss to ask for guidance (without badmouthing current boss)?

  37. Anonymous

    Bingo!

  38. Anonymous

    Reading this felt like you was writing about me!
    We got a new supervisor, he's about 14/15 years younger than me and some of the others. He came from a similar role to what im doing. He has no people skills, doesn't have a clue how to manage a team of people and treat them all fairly and with respect. He's ignorant but does it in a polite way! He also has zero like skills so can't relate to any of his team! Most of my work was being send out to everyone else, I was being treat like I was a new starter, like i didnt know anything and patronised the hell out of! My advise is.. ask him why. Why your workload has changed, and given to others, have you done something wrong or is there some sort of issue why he's not sending you work! everything you want to say to him make sure you put it on an email so you have evidence and it's all on paper. If he still doesn't reply to you send it again and copy your manager in on it, he'll have to reply then. Even ask other people on your team to assign some work to you and when they ask why tell them so they will start watching and noticing the way your being treat..good luck xx

  39. Crystal Rhineberger

    This is not uncommon for management change over. Have you considered the communication level might be a no feedback is good feedback? while you need the feedback, interaction, and work, this higher up may not think like that. If you aren't getting meetings per request, you may have to be more direct (not aggressive just direct) or may need to apply to hr that there is a lack of communication and there needs to be better balance. remember HR is not just around for complaints. Sometimes even a negative challenge can be turned positive

  40. Anonymous

    HR is there for senior leadership NOT for associates.

  41. Anonymous

    and even then if senior leaderships conflicts in any way w the business you will get fired

  42. Anonymous

    The sad part is there is literally nothing you can do. He likely already has HR (scumbags) on his side.

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