I share an office with another administrative assistant.

Anonymous

March 17,2022 at 10:51PM UTC

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I share an office with another administrative assistant. When I first started, the other admin said "I liked having the office to myself." I've ignored comments about being disappointed that I didn't take a whole day off when I took some PTO for personal needs.

Not long after I first started, she and another coworker decided that they wanted to share an office - meaning, I should vacate my desk. I just... politely declined.

Almost a year later, the boss stops me and says that the person I share an office with and another employee came to him and said they're friends and they'd like to share an office.

I said that I understand, and yeah, I know they are friends, but I sit next to a window and it really helps my energy level and focus. (This didn't come out of left field because I've said as much before more than once - about how I love being near the window).

He said he appreciated me being a team player and he was going to talk it over.

There is another issue - and I believe it's partly why both people who wanted to share an office with the person I am sharing with wanted to move:

There's a blaring speaker right outside the door where I would be sitting and announcements have to be loud and they have to be repeated. (I am being treated for migraines -- and a sleep disorder -- but I didn't even want to really have to say that my work may be affected if I have to move).

I really don't care who I share a room with, and clearly, I need to just do my work and not try to be social. I came from a job where I knew everyone and everyone knew me - but in this job, while it does hurt - I know it's best to be friendly but not chatty or to get personal.

I love my job and really find a sense of meaning in it. It's been the unwelcoming comments - and even my coworker's complaints that I "am typing too much" and she's going to lunch because I'm getting on her nerves with all the typing - I do feel a sense of rejection and hurt at this 2nd attempt to get me to move out.

The OTHER person who would be impacted will not want to move into the office I currently occupy - because she has an entire book-case full of files - and they would be behind my desk. (That doesn't bother me)

How would you handle this situation? Especially if you really would like to keep the health effects from being the reason you aren't willing to be obliging?

Thank you for your input!

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AnonymousMarch 17,2022 at 11:31PM UTC
Unfortunately this is not going to go away. So you either hunker down and not move (whatever the reason) or request that the boss find you a window seat away from the loud speaker. If that doesn't exist. Then you have a decision to make on whether to keep this fight going or not. You have to decide how important this is to you.
AnonymousMarch 19,2022 at 7:38PM UTC
I already have the window seat away from the loud speaker.
That's why I'm reluctant to move to the non-window seat next to the loud speaker.
I had been in that seat in the past for less than a week when I first started there. I'm thriving where I am, whereas when I first started and was sitting there: I had near-constant headaches, some nausea and of course it meant I struggled to concentrate.
AnonymousMarch 19,2022 at 11:53PM UTC
But this person doesn't want you in that office. The request is that you move. If you want to fight then fight fight fight.
I would suggest other window seats.
But it's up to you how much of a fight you want to put up to stay in that particular seat.
Sure you can make it about your health and you can put up a fight but in the name of team playing pick another window seat and give up the fight.
AnonymousMarch 22,2022 at 1:23PM UTC
I support you.
I also suffer from migraines and was bullied by my office mate, through not in the same way. I suggest you stick to your guns, but nicely. If the boss brings it up again, tell him the desk you're at helps you stay focused and do your best work. Tell him it doesn't make sense to sacrifice that just so friends can sit next to each other at work (that's what lunchtime is for, BTW), and perhaps they can find another office to be together in. As for your coworker, see if there is an issue or problem you can help her with or support her in, and be super nice to her. It will be hard at first, and she'll reject your efforts for awhile, but eventually you'll wear down her meanness toward you. That last part is what I did.
AnonymousMarch 28,2022 at 10:09AM UTC
Things seem to have quieted down.
I hope it stays that way. I do want to do my best work. That's at the heart of my reluctance to "be a team-player." I had been at the desk where they're asking me to move to and I did have more migraines. I was relieved when they moved me to where I am now (It was when I first started working there, and was training).
Unfortunately, since this situation arose, I have not felt as positively toward going to work each day. It took the wind out of my sails. The first week that I was there, my co-worker said she was used to having the office to herself for a long time.
I don't want to be where I'm not wanted, but the alternative would affect how I perform at my job.
In the end, I'm more concerned about being able to get my work done and not having a negative impact on my health.
As for my coworker, I don't initiate conversation unless it's necessary for work. I say hello and good-bye. She told me early on that she doesn't make friends at work. She needs some space and I'll try to take lunch away from my desk (I tend to eat and plan my afternoon out. I'm not making personal calls or anything).
I do know she feels that I take my job too seriously. I had recently lost a job that I had for 15 years that I had put my "all" into.
I do know some of the other complaints she has had - I took notes during staff meetings, eliciting head-shaking and commentary. I also "typed too much" when I was doing evaluations for co-workers.
I know there's a few things I can change, but I want to do my job well.
AnonymousMarch 18,2022 at 4:41AM UTC
Everyone wants to sit near friends, everyone wants to be near a window, no one wants to sit near a very noisy speaker. Everyone's mental health would suffer. Everyone is prone to migraines. These are universal arguments.
So while you've made your case abundantly clear, let the boss decide. Maybe you all can take turns getting your way, being team players and trying to get along.
This is why the boss can decide. He can referee and make the hard decisions.
AnonymousMarch 18,2022 at 12:31PM UTC
If they really want you to move, maybe this is an opportunity to get your own office or shift responsibilities at the office. You are obviously a dedicated worker. You can leverage this opportunity to negotiate for something that will make your work situation better for you!
Madam anon663March 22,2022 at 12:50PM UTC
I loathe mean girl types and these two seem like just that.
AnonymousMarch 22,2022 at 1:05PM UTC
I strongly felt the need to comment on this.
First, your feelings are valid.
Second, the coworker is a mean girl.
Third, the manager is unprofessional, as it was tacky to suggest that you move because coworkers, who happen to be friends, want to sit next to each other. The manager should have shut this conversation down from the beginning. It is not your job to appease friends in a professional environment. Your needs matter too. Also, even if you would not be affected by moving, as an employee, your office mate is not entitled to have the office bend towards her wants. This. Is. Work.
Fourth, you should absolutely die on this hill. The next time she makes snarky passive aggressive comments, you address the comments right then or give the snark back. You’ll get advice to ignore and fly above it. As someone who had dealt with workplace bullying and mobbing, ignoring does not work. Once you check people who behave this way towards you (professionally of course), the behavior will stop. People like this are cowards who assume you are too weak to address their ill behavior.
Fifth, find a better job (once you get your ducks in a row and YOU are ready). You are worth more than a job that is exhibiting and giving credence to toxic behavior. Life is too short.
Tammy WeverMarch 22,2022 at 1:25PM UTC
Why would the manager want two friends sitting next to each other? How productive would that be? Who has seniority?
Thalia MoshosMarch 22,2022 at 1:25PM UTC
What is this?
High school? Your coworkers need to grow up. Start looking for another job if things don't improve.
Janice Nunnery DillahaMarch 22,2022 at 4:29PM UTC
Perhaps the boss can leave you where you are and move the office mate out so that they can be with their friend.
Liz MilneMarch 22,2022 at 10:18PM UTC
Yes, this! The co-worker is being incredibly juvenile - annoyed by typing? Presumably that means 'annoyed by co-worker doing their job'???