Hi all,

Anonymous

March 10,2022 at 2:00PM UTC

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Hi all,

I can use some advice - - please bear with me because this is a little lengthy.

I work for a streaming company and they are of course bringing us back into the office ? at this time, it's for one day a week for the first few weeks. The company feels it's really for collaboration which honestly is bs. My role specifically doesn't necessarily collaborate with anyone at all, hell even in my team. I only work directly with my manager via Zoom or phone.

To add to this, they're having us come to the into the office next week to assist with moving our cubicles since we haven't been there in two years since which they literally just sent an announcement about less than 24 hours ago.

To provide context, I have been with this employer for five years now and have been over it for all five of them. I tried to stick it out because this was my dream field and job, but, I want out as soon as possible. The best analogy I can give is, I feel like I've been in a long-term relationship with someone who has thinking we're taking steps to marriage only to be told we're just friends. There is zero room for growth at this company. I am solely responsible for 85% of work that requires a team and of course it's there is no team and no plan to hire anyone either. My mental health has seriously declined being here.

My goal when I have to go in to move desks is to throw everything away so that when I leave them I don't have to take anything. I'm very frustrated and unhappy at this job. I've tried working with my manager regarding opportunities for growth and a cha ve to showcase other skills and but it's been crickets. I get the same bs responses such as, "you're a valued member of the team /we're thankful to have you /blah blah blah. I'm just...angry and defeated and it really furthered that feeling upon seeing I now gotta go clean stuff at this damn office.

I don't know what to do or say but I feel that my emotions are so far gone I'll begin to be petty. I already don't speak to people at this job bc I work alone so there is no need.

Any and all advice welcomed. Thanks for your help.

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Aurora MeyerMarch 10,2022 at 2:13PM UTC
This sounds like a hard place to be! I hope you'll take some comfort in knowing you absolutely are not alone. So many of us have been there before and the last two years have really provided a lot of clarity on what is important to each individual. I'm confident you will be able to take what you've learned in this role, specifically in terms of position expectations and management to springboard you into a much better fit. Please keep us posted on your process! Good luck!
Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.March 10,2022 at 3:27PM UTC
Your plan is the best one I could suggest. Go in for the sole purpose of making sure you get everything you need to take with you, and once you walk out the door, don’t look back. You deserve better, you know it, your mind and body are confirming it, and there’s no reason why you can’t or shouldn’t go pursue better!
Julie AndrewsMarch 11,2022 at 1:24PM UTC
These responses are perfect. Your sentiments show you are clearly done. Be done! And hopes for both parties to see marriage down the road. I can promise you-better is out there.
Shelley Maley, Career Coach (PHR, GCDF)March 11,2022 at 1:31PM UTC
It sounds like you've experienced a lot of frustration during those 5 years. If you're in the financial position to leave, then do so in a professional manner. Then make sure you create a plan for your future career and a job search strategy. A career coach can help you if you need assistance. All the best to you!
Christina JMarch 11,2022 at 1:32PM UTC
I commend you on trying to work with your higher(s) up first before leaving. Now you know for sure there was no growth and an exit plan needed to be put in place.
There is nothing wrong with doing the right thing when it’s for you. Grab the items from your office knowing your moving forward and hopefully you will have another job already in place or at least money put away till you are able to find another one.
Hoping the best for your new journey!
Tina MayMarch 11,2022 at 1:35PM UTC
I agree that it sounds like it is time to move on. I would prepare to do just that. If you want to remain remote, there are many companies providing remote work. I wish you luck with whatever you decide.
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 1:35PM UTC
Hey there! From what I'm reading you've been unhappy with the company from the beginning, but the role itself makes you happy and the tipping point may be that you can't work from home anymore.
Have you taken a step back to evaluate what you want? Are there things that your employer could offer that would make you happy and stay? If so put pen to paper and list those things out and have the discussion with your boss and ask for them.
If your boss can't meet your needs or there aren't things that your employer can do to make you happy then determine what it is you want for your next role and go for that. In the meantime, please don't be petty. I know it can be hard, but stay as professional as possible.
As far as cleaning out your desk to the bare minimum, I say go for it. Even if you aren't leaving I always recommend a minimalist approach. My current boss used to poke fun because pre-Covid my desk was bare and always looked like it was my last day. When Covid hit and we couldn't go into the office there was nothing that I needed from my desk.
Good luck!
Juanita JamesMarch 11,2022 at 2:24PM UTC
very sound advice
Amal YusufMarch 11,2022 at 1:40PM UTC
Hi! The good news story is that you have 5 years of experience in a field you like. It’s time you started looking for other opportunities, and taking that step will make it easier to go back to the office for the 1x a week. It’s a reminder that this situation is temporary and very soon, you will be on your way to a job that you like and a company culture that makes you proud. Hang in there! Good Luck
Peggie Arvidson * Career Consultant | Adoptee Advocate | RecruiterMarch 11,2022 at 1:51PM UTC
I'm sorry it's been such a slog - and honestly - I see it all the time. people have a dream idea and reality pales in comparision.
So be it.
Use the next however many weeks to spruce up your resume and your linkedin profile and turn on the confidentially open to work button.
Recruiters LOVE to hear of companies forcing people to go back to the office - first place we swoop to find talent for our clients who aren't having teams go to the office :)
However, my experience says - it's much better to search for a new job when you have one.
LisaMarch 11,2022 at 1:58PM UTC
There is no question it is time to move on. You have 5 years experience now under your belt in a field you love in a role that you like.
Go out and wow another company!
Rebecca Gale-GonzalezMarch 11,2022 at 2:15PM UTC
I want to be supportive and non judgemental. I don't know you and vice versa, so this is advice I would give anyone in your situation. Examine your heart, what are the real issues, give examples of what's been happening to make you feel so negative toward the place and the people. If its because you feel under valued and see no opportunity for growth, or just don't want to go back into the office and prefer working from home, those are things that the company might, if given the chance try to address. But if you've tried and they haven't given you an indication that there is an opportunity for growth. I would recommend finding a place that fits your values, where you see growth opportunities and secure a new position before you leave one that is paying the bills. It's easier to find a job when you have a job, in the current market there are lots of opportunities and it could happen quickly. Allowing you to leave on good terms, not burn bridges, they may want to hire you back some day in a leadership capacity...important to maintain business relationships. Don't settle for a job you may only use to get away from another one, that doesn't meet all your goals. Job hopping sends mixed signals. You've invested 5 years, what's a few more months until you find something else. And yes, I agree the clean out should be to take home your personal things and to respect the person who comes after you to do the work. I wouldn't discard the things that are work related unless they are out of date and serve no purpose. This is the civil thing to do, despite the feelings you are experiencing. You are a professional and you will show them just what a professional response looks like. Smile and say how wonderful it is to see live people. One thing I've learned through the pandemic is that everyone is experiencing some bandwidth issues and you are probably not alone in what you are experiencing. Find common ground, show respect for your co-workers, Pray on it, whatever it takes. I know you've got this.
Shelby CMarch 11,2022 at 2:25PM UTC
You already pretty much summarized it in the last paragraph. Your entire post is frought with negativity that doesn't necessarily seem warranted although we all have a right to our feelings. I can't and won't tell you how to feel. You don't want to stay though, so what's the question?
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 5:25PM UTC
Spot on @Shelby! To the OP, suffering is a choice so please consider your next steps and the most expedient way to exit this situation. Figure out a way to aggressively start looking for that next opportunity and ditching the bad attitude about this current employer. This will carry through to your interviews so you'll need to come up with a clear, concise statement about why you're looking...not a rant of why you've chosen to stay in this position for the past five years despite being so unhappy there. Best of luck in your search.
Jennifer MonacoMarch 11,2022 at 2:47PM UTC
From what you have shared, it’s time for you to move on.
As others have stated, update your resume. I would take some time to really think about the types of positions you are interested in, so you can be intent full when applying to companies.
Make sure you leave on good terms. Once you find your role, give a two week notice.
Many companies are offering remote roles now, you shouldn’t have much trouble finding what you are looking for.
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 2:58PM UTC
sounds like you already made the decision and want validation. you've got it.
Nichelle SpykeMarch 11,2022 at 3:40PM UTC
If I felt comfy posting my telephone number here so you could call me, I would. I felt EVERYTHING you said. EVERYTHING... and no, I'm not in the same boat, but I can understand where you are, your frustration, and feeling defeated--and the petty part (lol).
I don't know how FGB works, but can you inbox me? I would love to be a sounding board for you, give advice, just listen and allow you to vent, encourage you and perhaps help you on your journey in some capacity.
I've seen a lot of posts and have responded to a few, but yours compelled me to take it a step further.
If you're comfortable, please reach out.
Nichelle
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 4:03PM UTC
my best advice is to show up, paste on your best can-do attitude and be very careful not to set any bridges on fire while you look for a more fulfilling gig.
you said streaming, so I’m assuming music. I have been at labels and peripheral companies for over 2 decades & I swear to you, what people in this industry say about you is more important than your actual skills and abilities far more often than it should be. Let that sink in.
now, for the next gig…
some companies will want to put you in a tiny box and not allow you growth no matter what. But mostly, growth isn’t something someone can give you, you have to make it. That means showing up, finding your own niche that contributes in a meaningful way… solving the problems, not just identifying them… all that good stuff. you’ve got this. There are countless opportunities open right now, many of them remote.
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 4:10PM UTC
It sounds like you aren’t getting the managerial support you need.
Like others, I recommend you leave for another role. My twist here is to consider a career coach. Mainly so that if you find yourself questioning what role to seek, they can give you the tools to understand what you want and need in your next job. You should also be looking while you are employed and be ready to answer the why did you leave question without tarnishing the company you are at now. Another suggestion is see what benefits your company has in terms of continued education, EAP counseling services, and training courses that will supplement your resume.
Having been in your shoes in the same situation where development seemed to be nonexistent in a toxic environment with then going back to the office, I chose my mental and physical health. Just know you are NOT alone and definitely talk to others. Surround yourself with others to find your place but most all: leave. Prioritize yourself because they need you a lot more than you need them. Your skills in managing and executing so much work at the 5 year mark will go a long way furthering your career! Good luck!
Doris AppelbaumMarch 12,2022 at 3:40AM UTC
.... consider a career coach. Mainly so that if you find yourself questioning what role to seek, they can give you the tools to understand what you want and need in your next job.
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:59PM UTC
Thank you!! I actually had the pleasure of working with one briefly and she was very sweet and did help me figure out my non-negotiables and give me some confidence to put myself out there more and apply to jobs that I normally wouldn't. I've taken some of the LinkedIn Learning courses that are offered by my job as well. Thank you for your help!
Hilary OborghayujieMarch 11,2022 at 5:00PM UTC
Sorry about the low level job satisfaction at your workplace.
If your current job position is not deriving the career fulfillment you desire and anticipated, I strongly submit you quits and plans for a better career transition.
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:56PM UTC
Thank you! I am certainly working towards this.
Karen GongawareMarch 11,2022 at 9:39PM UTC
Huh. Why are you moving desks? They should hire someone as if anyone gets hurt, sue city. Basic OSHA. And no, you do not have to go clean. Again, that is on the company. I think you are working for crazy people. So why haven't you gone and job hunted?
AnonymousMarch 12,2022 at 3:18AM UTC
I assumed OP meant moving personal crap from one desk to another because different people work there 2 years later, not physically moving the furniture?
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:56PM UTC
Right, moving only the personal items.
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:56PM UTC
Yeah, they're having us move our personal belongings to the next desk. I've already planned to toss every single item and literally have my desk/laptop set up, monitor, keyboard, and mouse. No personal items will be there. I want it as empty as I feel about returning.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMarch 11,2022 at 10:10PM UTC
Not advice but I do have a question.
Why are you still working there?
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:54PM UTC
Took too long to realize it was never going to work and that no matter how much I tried to be a good employee, I clearly had boo-boo the fool written on my forehead. Making moves on it though! Thank you for your help!
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMarch 16,2022 at 5:47PM UTC
Glad you finally got to the place where you've decided to make a move. Good for you!
Good luck and keep us posted.
AnonymousMarch 12,2022 at 11:25AM UTC
You don't know what to do? I'd say you've had 5 years of knowing exactly what to do. Why on earth are you choosing to remain at a dead-end job that offers you no growth for 5 years? Have you been promoted, received nice bonuses and raises abd promotions? Have you received anything in 5 years?
I think you know exactly what to do. Update your resume and LinkedIn profile. Start letting your network of professional contacts know you're in the market for a new role. Update your skils where needed with training, certifications and classes so that you at least show growth in your skills since you might not be able to show growth in new titles and level of responsibilities in your current job.
Get busy. There is no time to be frustrated or angry with your employer. You want start figuring out your next steps without bringing your disappointment with you.
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:53PM UTC
Id' say it was like being with the wrong partner seeing all the red flags and still not believing you deserve better. It took a long time to realize I deserved better. I also say it's fear of starting over, not knowing what you're doing, etc. But, I am on the move taking the steps to get outta there. I've never been promoted here, we only receive merit increases yearly, so no raise per se.
Thanks for your help!
AnonymousMarch 12,2022 at 1:33PM UTC
You need to go. You have hit what I call the Job Death Spiral where you are so frustrated that you can't control your emotions. It will only end up with you being regarded as the problem. Grin and bear it while doing everything you can to get out. Watch your language and your attitude carefully. This is the kind of negativity that's noticed. It sounds like a well-known company. Don't burn bridges. Youight not like the company, bur you never know when you will need the people.
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:50PM UTC
You're absolutely right, I've had to check my attitude quite a few times and just coach myself to just be nice deal, and get my work done for the day & go. It's a tough mental place to be it. Thank you for your help!
AnonymousMarch 12,2022 at 7:37PM UTC
This right here: "To provide context, I have been with this employer for five years now and have been over it for all five of them." was really all you needed to say. Why are you still with them? I mean, I left an employer I had been with for ten years midway through the first year of the pandemic. I hadn't been happy for a while and used that opportunity to find a new job (side note to that: I took the first offer that came along and it was the wrong offer, but I digress). You aren't happy there, you've never been happy there, if they were staying remote, you still wouldn't be happy there. You just need to go.
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:49PM UTC
Working towards it!
Taylor HenrieMarch 14,2022 at 8:13PM UTC
If you aren't happy then it's time to move on! I am not sure what your skillset is, but we are hiring at Clearlink! Feel free to check us out https://www.clearlink.com/careers/. I hope you are able to find something that truly makes you happy! Best of luck.
AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 3:48PM UTC
Hi Taylor,
Thank you so much, I will check it out!
Doris AppelbaumMarch 29,2022 at 10:27PM UTC
I am a professional career coach - founder of Appelbaum's Resume Professionals, Inc. Check our website.