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Berated for working?
I am extremely fortunate in the fact that I've been working from home during this Covid crisis. The company I work for (April 1st marked the start of year 18!) represents manufacturers that provide products to many hardware retail chains. So, while not on the font lines working in the actual store, my job is still a part of an "essential" sector.
I know several people personally who aren't as fortunate. I've done my best to reach out to each of them and offer any help and/or support I can. The same goes for anyone else online whom I happen to come across.
To someone who's unemployed or on furlough right now, I understand that they could think "It's easy for you to say such-and-such. YOU have a job!"
But lately, I've also had people actually berate me because I'm employed right now. And it's frustrating me. I'm becoming hesitant to reach out/respond. It's gotten to the point that when I do, I usually say something like: "I'm still employed at the moment and so I know it seems easy for me to say..."
I feel more and more I have to defend the fact I'm still employed. Is anyone else experiencing this?
All the best everyone...
Anonymous
04/21/20 at 12:11PM UTC
My husband is still working - he's one of the owners of a small handmade furniture company and they still have orders to build. It's not "essential" yet they are not breaking any rules as the state's mandates are technically for "retail" businesses. I've been harboring it as a deep shameful secret for fear of being berated since they didn't just close up shop. But they can stay even more than 6 ft away from each other and wear masks, and only 2-3 people are there at the same time.
I've seen how horrible people have been to each other on social media. Admonishing others for just driving in their cars (and not even getting out), or meeting with 6+ feet of distance between their cars and talking to each other (IN their cars) from afar? Really??! Is that truly a threat?
Paulla FetzekTeacher, Lighting Expert, & Office Professional
1.73k
04/21/20 at 1:08PM UTC
Anon: This pandemic has brought out the best - and worst - in people.
For me, when it comes to "social comfort" - no one is wrong if they personally feel safer at a distance father than 6 feet apart. However, chastising someone else who isn't observing said person's personal level of comfort is another matter.
We do have people working in our office. Our HR, our president, our accounting manager, and our warehouse manager. There are no more than 10 - which is what our governor mandated. I personally wish I could be one of them as I absolutely hate working from home.
I do think, in small settings, people can be safe. However, for large groups this simply isn't possible yet.
As far as berating - I try my best not to ever. But after seeing the rallies in several states, I have to bite my tongue. And just pray none of these people get sick - or gets others at the rally sick.
Anonymous
04/20/20 at 4:01PM UTC
Congrats to all of you for being employed!! I have been happy for those who haven’t been laid off, furloughed, etc. It’s one more family that stays afloat - one less with their homes on the line.
Frankly, your employment status is no one’s business. Nor do you have to feel guilty, though it’s understandable. People are entitled to feel however they feel, however malevolent. We don’t have to accept that negativity.
It might not feel like it, but your job is contributing to the economy. You’re part of what’s keeping your company afloat. All of you are. Be proud of that.
Be Well Goddesses ❤️
Paulla FetzekTeacher, Lighting Expert, & Office Professional
1.73k
04/20/20 at 11:28PM UTC
Bless you Shelley. I honest-to-God hadn't thought of the fact we're contributing to the economy.
I guess I feel guilty too... Because I'm a single woman, with no children. Well... HUMAN ones. I do have 2 cats. :) But I feel sad to think there are families who could lose their homes. Or don't have food. And so on.
Anonymous
04/21/20 at 2:01AM UTC
Repeat after me... NO MORE GUILT. Over anything. Ever. Accept your blessings with grace (ex., perfect 4-legged, self reliant children vs human ones). Struggle is always a heartbeat away.
Not that I’m wishing it.
❤️
morales971An essential worker for the power of positivity.
430
04/20/20 at 3:53PM UTC
You bring up an interesting issue and I'm speaking as someone who is now unemployed. I would not curse someone else for their good fortune. That is not fair and I think we would do well to remember a) we are adults and b) whether we like it or not, there are simply some things that are out of our control. I get as frustrated as anyone else, but there is no excuse for taking it out on someone who had nothing to do with my misfortune. We need to exercise better judgement. Particularly because there is no magic wand. This pandemic is going to be in our lives for a while. We need to protect ourselves, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And we need to appreciate each other instead of chastising one another.
Paulla FetzekTeacher, Lighting Expert, & Office Professional
1.73k
04/20/20 at 11:26PM UTC
Thank you morales971. There have been times... When someone's seemingly berated me that I've replied with, "And in a moment, I could also lose my job."
In the best of times a job isn't guaranteed. This pandemic makes things all that more difficult.
Alyssa Williams
58
04/20/20 at 3:42PM UTC
I agree with the others who have responded, it's likely out of understandable frustration. It sounds like you are doing your best to reach out to your circle and your intentions maybe good. Sometimes the best we can offer is a listening ear and wait for a meaningful opportunity to do something nice for them.
Tracyruns262Lead Product Manager - Accounting/Finance
76
04/20/20 at 6:07PM UTC
Adults have to be adults - it is not understandable that someone would be chastising a working adult. Period.
Barb HansenStartup Product, Growth & Strategy
6.67k
04/20/20 at 3:23PM UTC
I have not experienced this. Both my husband and I are still working, and our children, extended family and most of our close friends are either working or in school. I am sure that we have not experienced any employment-judging because our social circle is basically still working.
I'm sorry that you are experiencing employment-judging. I would not defend my employment status if I was confronted (but that's just me) as anyone who would snap at me about being employed is doing so out of their understandable frustrations and defending my employment status is not going to make them feel better, other than offering support (but again that's just me)
Alexa CordellDigital Learning Leader
137
04/20/20 at 3:11PM UTC
This is a great post... and I think it is validating for others who are also very fortunate in still having their current job under the current worldly circumstances... In my current role, I have always worked from home - so not much has changed for me except that now I must also home school my daughter during this time... so While things have changed a bit, we are very fortunate and I would never want to negate that.
One thing I will point out, is that it can feel, to those who are still working, like a level of "survivor's guilt"... not to be insensitive to those who have lost their lives during this pandemic, but to call the feeling of guilt by a recognizable name.
What we should do with this, instead of playing down our role in society as being lucky we still have a job... and seeming apologetic, is to do some good with our position.
Yes, I still have a job. I am not sorry about it. I am, however, aware and saddened by those who have lost their jobs and/or are experience hardships that I cannot relate to... I won't try to relate. I am in an industry that is deemed essential... and while I never planned for this pandemic, I will do what I can since I am one of the few whose life has not changed too much. I will support my local businesses... I will donate to organizations that are making a difference, I will do what I can to support those who are struggling...
This is how we must think about it... It is not easy to lose your job... while those of us with our lives continuing in our normal "jobs", we must support our communities who can't right now.
This is just how I see it... and I hope this helps you know you have support and others are dealing with this, also.
Christen NgLeader of tech & analytics to fuel social impact
65
04/27/20 at 4:51PM UTC
Love this reply. Was about to respond to this thread, but you've encapsulated it pretty well here. There does not need to be any prefacing or apology here. There is nothing to be sorry for. However, one can couple their fortunate situation with ways to figure out how to support and give back to our communities.
Paulla FetzekTeacher, Lighting Expert, & Office Professional
1.73k
04/20/20 at 11:24PM UTC
It does help. Thanks Alexa. I'm also very grateful to be employed as I just moved into my first-ever home on March 13th!
Stephanie Burg-BrownBy all means Necessary!!
76
04/21/20 at 9:06PM UTC
Congratulations on the new home! It’s a blessing to “shelter home” in your new dream home!!!
Alexa CordellDigital Learning Leader
137
04/21/20 at 1:04PM UTC
Oh awesome! Congratulations!
Jodi GonzalezI am a veteran communications professional.
116
04/20/20 at 4:37PM UTC
Great reply. I am out of work and have been since before this hit. And I admit I am jealous of those still working! But I would never begrudge them being able to provide for themselves and their family. Putting everyone in the same boat of misery doesn’t lift us up, it brings us all down. Celebrate those who are still working! They are the hope that we soon will be as well.
Lucia WilsonThere's a candle for everything
102
04/20/20 at 2:19PM UTC
I have not experienced this, yet. I work for a military base and I am currently working from home. My small circle of friends all are all essential employees for their companies. But I expect it to happen soon.
Paulla FetzekTeacher, Lighting Expert, & Office Professional
1.73k
04/20/20 at 11:23PM UTC
I'm sorry if it does Lucia. It's frustrating because I wish I could help every person in need. I can't and so as Alexa wonderfully noted, I do what I can.
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