I could use some advice.

Anonymous

September 22,2021 at 2:23AM UTC

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I could use some advice. This is going to sound like a 90’s rom com. I moved across the country for a job that I started 2.5 months ago. Over the past month I have fallen in love with a guy from my work. For our first date he flew to meet me and we did a 2 day road trip to get car to my new home town. He lives in another state but we are already talking about getting married and starting a family. I’m in my late 30’s and he’s in his late 40s which is why everything is moving so quickly. We are also just so crazy about each other.

It’s a smaller company and he’s worked there for 7 years. We are on different teams but he reports to my managers boss. Do we need to let HR know? Should we wait to tell HR until after we are engaged? Can I lose my job for this? He’s 100% worth it. I just want to be prepared. Never in a million years did I see my life playing out like this. This is very out of character for me.

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Crystal ThirionSeptember 22,2021 at 3:29AM UTC
First of all slooooow down. A month is not long enough to really get to know each other. Don’t get in too much of a rush. Wait until at least 6 months to really decide. About work. I don’t think you have to tell anyone. You can’t lose your job. I have had a few coworkers get married and they didn’t lose theirs. As long as you aren’t doing anything inappropriate in the work place I don’t think it’s a problem. Especially if you are in different departments.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2021 at 3:32AM UTC
I hate to sound negative but I'd hit the brakes, get aclimated to your new job first. Are comfortable with things moving this fast? How well do you really know this guy?
Susan RoseSeptember 22,2021 at 3:49AM UTC
Absolutely slow down! If it is "true love" there's no rush...you'll have a lifetime together. Don't put yourself in a situation you can't get out of (or is difficult to get out of).
AnonymousSeptember 23,2021 at 1:30AM UTC
So what who cares. You don't need to inform HR unless that is written on your orientation booklet or the protocols at your job. Seems unnecessary but if you want to do it I guess you can do it.
I dont know why you would get fired.
Sounds like you are moving fast.