How to deal with a former colleague with an axe to grind waging a dirty war against you

Anonymous

June 6,2022 at 11:38AM UTC

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How to deal with a former colleague with an axe to grind waging a dirty war against you

A week ago, a colleague of mine asked for a pay raise. She did her research, provided reasons why and was declined. She became incensed when she found out another co-worker got a raise at the time of her request, and issued the company an ultimatum "pay raise, or I leave in a week."

To no surprise, she gave her two-weeks notice a week later and was told immediately to pack up her desk. The ultimatum did not end favorably.

Without a job and no unemployment to claim, she went to our immediate competitor and asked for a job. They were too happy to have her.

She announced her new position by claiming (a) she was the best and only employee worth having at my company, (b) She was the best statistically using internal performance measures, (c) that she had my job title. Immediately, many of her social media posts began bashing where we worked together in favor of her new company. Blatantly so.

I could care less about the parade - with the exception that I'm constantly dealing with a barrage of insulting remarks made by her on social media (FB, Twitter, websites) that simply factually aren't true. She never help my job title. It was never her position. Her "metrics" that she's publically posting hold true for the two-week period before she left, but in researching it - aren't anywhere near true over a longer period of time.

I want to hold my head high, let my work speak for itself and show I'm the better person -- and more mature IMHO. However, when she's openly trying to hype herself by putting me and the former company down in public, endlessly, what can I do?

Our jobs are very public. Public trust and perception of us can play a major factor in our ability to do our job well and other in the community willing to work with us.

I feel like she's waging a dirty war because she got herself into a bad position.

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AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 11:59AM UTC
Do nothing, be an adult and stop engaging in these high school games.
Remove yourself from this situation, exit stage left and let this woman continue to make a Buffon of herself on social media. You can do nothing to influence or change this situation so choose not to get sucked into her vortex and reward get bad behavior by continuing to monitor her channels. You’re better than this!
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 9:06PM UTC
I think you named it. I've long said in dealing with her that I feel like I've been dragged back to middle school.
Brigette WildsJune 6,2022 at 12:24PM UTC
I'd consider posting facts, not opinions or personal comments -- but only if you have the ability to provide specific evidence of your claims. If not, then it just does become a "he said, she said" sort of battle where no one wins. Before I did that, however, I would reach out to her directly to say, "I understand wanting to promote yourself, but please do so truthfully and without pulling others down."
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 9:06PM UTC
I can refute about 80% of what she said without giving away company data. Job title I can easily refute with a timeline, LinkedIn profiles and bylines.
We saw each other this mornig as competitors and I said "hi" asked how her weekend was. I was coldly ignored. Completely ignored.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 12:26PM UTC
You can report her posts to the social media venues as being defamatory toward you.
They will review the posts versus their standards and she won’t know who reported her. If she tries to contact you, block her. She has a personality flaw that she’s carrying with her, job to job, but it’s not your circus.
JJJune 6,2022 at 1:15PM UTC
She probably is in pain and may be acting out and you know that Karma is at work here, so taking the right and high road is best.
You can:
*Post publicly to correct her.
*Report her posts although most companies won’t do anything.
*Write your own positive posts that will overtake her posts
*Talk to her, ask why she is doing this.
*Ignore her and know that people who lie and cheat usually get found out. It’s no consolation now but if you let it go you will feel better.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 9:04PM UTC
Maybe she's in pain, sure. She's a colleague who I found to be a gossip, and not a kind gossip, when I was relatively new to the company -- so I learned to keep a distance from her early on.
She found out I make more than her at one point and my higher ups pulled me in to let me know, as she apparently threw several items upon finding out, fearing I was going to get at least verbally lashed at - and she did berate me on social media at that time, anonymously. "She gets paid more than me, who doe she think she is". I'm a small company, 8 people, there's like 3-5 female employees at any time. So, I'm sure some people figured it out. Not that she ever spoke to me about it individually, I would have told her how I had negotiated it.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 2:19PM UTC
Is she attacking you personally or just venting about her former employer?
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 9:01PM UTC
Both? She is definitely disparaging her former employer.
But it's an almost underhanded, self interested -- I had this jobs, I had the topic metric(s), I was the best at this and how dare they pay someone else more.
She never held my job title. She didn't have the top metrics outside like a one week window, not at any other time in the last six months.
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 12:35PM UTC
If she isn't attacking you personally, by name....then I don't see how its your concern. Unless, you are part owner in the company or something?
It doesn't sound like you are friends with her, so why not just block her and be done with it the frustration of being bothered by her posts.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 2:25PM UTC
I would address this with your company’s legal department. Firstly, if you are a privately owned company she cannot just disclose financial or performance figures or any other confidential information. For a public company only previously released information can be re-shared and depending on the type of business you are in, she could be breaking the law ex. a bank. Secondly, she may even have signed a confidentiality agreement at that she is in breech of.
If she is disparaging the company or lying about her role there let the company handle that. I know some of it may directly affect you and is frustrating but since they are the larger entity (with more power/impact) and have more at stake with the disparagement let them do it.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 8:59PM UTC
She's not releasing detailed performance metrics but more like " I had the highest X" which I suppose does disclose some information -- but everyone in the industry looks at those metrics.
She's saying she held a job title that.. maybe she pitched in and did one or two things while I was on maternity? Maybe. I know who covered most of it because our names are on our work - hers doesn't appear in anything I've reviewed
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 3:01AM UTC
If she's defaming or slandering the company, your board of directors will take issue and will decide how to handle a cease and desist.
In the meantime stay out of the fray. This is not your game unless you enter the ring.
You following her posts and even discussing this person's actions brings you into the fray. You're not in a position to shut this down so leave it alone. Stay professional and stay out of it.
These things usually run their course and burn out all by themselves. You don't need to pay any attention to them.
There is an old saying that says " you lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas."
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 12:43PM UTC
Ignore her, block her, unfriend her, erase her from your life.
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 7:52PM UTC
I'm wondering why you are so focused on someone who has left the company? Whatever she says or does is really up to her. People act out. That happens all the time.
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 11:44PM UTC
I see her on a daily basis while working in the community.
imagine a former colleague popping up everywhere you are, and within minutes of being there sh*t talking you to anyone in earshot.
then going on FB, Twitter and other social media to make some very thinly veiled comment about you, your trustworthiness and integrity while asserting herself
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 11:56PM UTC
Might it be better to ignore this?
Responding might give the former employee more attention.
If a public response is deemed worthwhile by your organization, it should be prepared and initially released by your organization’s communications team, not by you personally. You can circulate the company’s response, if any, on social media. (Caution: clear this first with your company’s communications team.)
If the statements are truly defamatory or harmful to your organization’s reputation, your organization might want to consult an attorney about possible remedies. As mentioned on this thread, one such remedy is a cease and desist order.
In any case, it is your organization’s decision on whether or how to address this. The most you can do is bring the former employee’s posts to the attention of management.
***
If your organization decides to issue a response, it should be dignified and geared to improve your organization’s standing in the community. Example:
We at [name of organization] take pride in the quality of our work, the calibre of our team and our standing in the [descriptor of community] community.
It has been brought to our attention that a former employee of our organization is making false and disparaging statements about our work and about their role with us.
Please know that this individual never held the title of [insert] and resigned after a pay increase was declined. We have carefully examined this person’s additional claims and found them without substance.
We are saddened that a former employee would make false and disparaging statements about [name of organization] and appreciate your continuing support of our work.
AnonymousJune 8,2022 at 3:41AM UTC
So much drama.
AnonymousJune 8,2022 at 3:27PM UTC
Contact Legal and Communications...
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 2:10PM UTC
Try to stay out of the drama but you should definitely escalate this to someone higher up & also legal. If your organization is affected by public trust and perception then there needs to be some kind of response. Feels like she won't be in her new role for much longer... As the saying goes "the truth will out"