I have a situation at work where my female lead has been doing her best to micro manage, determine who I talk to, and do everything possible to shut down any growth in y current position.

Anonymous

September 29,2021 at 12:21PM UTC

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I have a situation at work where my female lead has been doing her best to micro manage, determine who I talk to, and do everything possible to shut down any growth in y current position. The good news is that I have been able to transfer to another project to get away from this toxic situation. The thing I’m concerned about is how her opinion of me is affecting leadership. I don’t want this to carryover into the other project because some of leadership carry over into this new project as well just not her. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation when I know she has the power to continue her affects over leadership in the new project?

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Angie JeanSeptember 29,2021 at 12:47PM UTC
Tell her to politely go rotate at 180 degrees and when she's done doing that point out that she actually on rotated 178.5 in a nutshell be as bloody petty and childish as they are then shoulders back head high walk out to bigger and better things x
AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 12:53PM UTC
Glad you were able to transfer. Paradoxically, I have found that standing up to these people (politely but assertively) actually works out most of the time. If your leadership has any sense at all they will know she is annoying, but if she creates a problem I would stand up to her and if that doesn't work, go to HR. Make sure you document everything. Good luck.
AnonymousSeptember 30,2021 at 12:36PM UTC
Thank you! There are others that have are havinhissues as well. They are contractors but I'm a full time employee. I'm hopeful they will see though this and fix it but not being hopeful feels un realistic at the same time. I am. Hard worker and very detailed so being consistent and keeping a good attitude.is the min goal at this time. Staying away from gossip and beng a productivetrsourse is also on hat list. I know I'm doing great work but she seems to have. Changed opinions ony way out. It's important to me to not hurt any Bridges and at the same time protect my reputation.
AnonymousOctober 1,2021 at 2:29AM UTC
She's probably also threatened by you and if there are very opportunities for growth there she wants you out of her way. Textbook insecurity.
Alexandria Scobee |Leadership Coach | IT ManagerSeptember 29,2021 at 1:17PM UTC
I also recommend documenting everything. You can’t control how others perceive you all you can control is how you react. Do your good work on the new project and own your wins. The truth always comes out and if leadership is good/paying attention they will see the issue.
AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 1:25PM UTC
The wisest thing you can do is be professional and do a great job. Your work and contribution will carry you beyond anything she can say because she won't risk looking petty and silly if she undermines you in any way. People don't risk looking stupid. And if you build a great reputation as a top performer no one will try an diminish that.
Now taking credit for your success is a whole other story.
AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 1:25PM UTC
A few follow up questions. Not challenging, just seeking more data.
How do you know that she is trying to limit who you speak with?
What makes you think that she has an opinion that persists beyond your involvement with the project?
What type of actions is she taking with other leaders?
What makes you think that she has any involvement in your new project?
AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 1:27PM UTC
What are the specific scenarios that lead you to believe that she is “shutting down your growth?”
JamieSeptember 30,2021 at 12:22PM UTC
She admitted it and stated that I would be staying where I am and would not be able I utilize the stronger skillet. Unfortunately she and another person in leadership stated I as ping a good job where I was and I would be saying there even though I voiced concern that growth ND loss of skillet was occurring.
AnonymousSeptember 29,2021 at 2:07PM UTC
I was in the same situation and stayed much longer than I should have (6 years). Unfortunately, the only way out of it was to leave the company but it has been the best career decision I have made. If leaving isn't an option currently, just keep trying to expose yourself to other members of leadership in order to prove yourself. Don't be afraid to ask another lead or even someone in leadership for advice on what you can do to advance your career, or if possible, find a mentor. Good luck!
Beverly RuyleSeptember 29,2021 at 2:25PM UTC
MYOB. My big question here: if you perceive/recognize the misogyny and it rankles you, why are you still there?
AnonymousSeptember 30,2021 at 12:26PM UTC
I'm still there because the new project might be the answer to utilizing skillset and allow me to addskillset to my resume. Along with that ice been there 9 months and feel it would be hard to justify a short tenure. There was a change in management about 3 months ago swell so this issue didn't exist prior to that. However I am not confident attgistime and am keeping options open.
AnonymousOctober 1,2021 at 2:25AM UTC
Queen Bee Syndrome. I went through this exactly, right down to micromanaging my interactions with other colleagues on projects. A boss who behaves that way has contempt for you. Do your best to excel in your new role, watch your back, cultivate a new reference or two and probably aim to get out.