Hi!

Anonymous

June 6,2022 at 1:52AM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

Hi! I was let go from a job with a stressful company/environment 5 years ago (never happened to me before). A short time later I found out I was pregnant (twins). That pregnancy was difficult (plus I have another child). I became a SAHM. I've held various jobs during this time and have been in my current job for 4 years (looking to leave for multiple reasons). I'm very interested in applying for a similar position in my originial industry with a different company (which would utilize my professional experience and education). However the last few years have really damaged my self-esteem and really don't want to list my current supervisor as a reference (issues with boss). I know I must move on but I am terrified of my past coming back to bite me. My therapist said to "face the fear", but it's easier said than done. Thank you for reading this. Any advice is welcome.

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

4 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

4 Comments

Join the conversation

Heather CutlerJune 6,2022 at 2:20AM UTC
I would also never list a current supervisor as a professional reference. Instead, find a trusted colleague with a senior title that can serve as a reference.
Something that might help: rather than just listing the person as a reference, provide them with talking points for the reference check. I did this as I applied for a previous position. I gave the employer three references, and gave them all different (but complimentary) talking points. They were all very appreciative and followed the script. Best of luck to you!
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 4:43AM UTC
I totally agree. I have never used a current supervisor as a reference. Why upset the apple cart? I’ve used account managers or project managers that I worked closely with. I used the talking points as well. If questioned further, I would say something along the lines of of this reference knowing my work and that I spent more time working for them.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 4:45AM UTC
Simply don't list your current supervisor. For references use other people like other managers, customers, vendors, consultants and contractors. Anyone that speak highly of your skill, quality of work and work ethic.
Don't give other people the opportunity to bring you down.
Anita GetzJune 6,2022 at 12:41PM UTC
You do not have to list your former supervisor, however by law they can only verify that you have been employed there. But be on the side of caution and don’t use them. Good lucjy