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Stressed out boss acting irrationally

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Anonymous

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Stressed out boss acting irrationally

My boss is getting divorced and has several children. He seems to be acting out at work such as judging and punishing employees where before he was more tolerant. I listen when he talks about his personal problems. I don't encourage it because I can't help him. This is a remote position. He is targeting me lately, cracking down on things that are not problems, like wording of sentences in instant messages, or certain words that are not offensive at all saying he is offended. I document these. What else can I do?

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  1. Anonymous

    You’re not responsible for solving his personal problems nor are you on deck to be his therapist so bow out of the conversation when he starts to talk about his divorce. What does this look like in practice? I’m sorry you’re going through this and I’d like to keep this work relationship professional.

    As for words you’re using that he finds offensive, stop using them. Doesn’t matter if you agree with him or not.

  2. Anonymous

    At random times he brings up the latest news about his divorce, that he sent his kids to counseling and so on. I listen and then move on to the work topic at hand. I feel that he expects me (a woman) to be sympathetic.

  3. Kimberly Johnson

    Go to HR

  4. Anonymous

    Humor him within reason; if he doesn't like a certain word, find a synonym that he finds acceptable. However, if he gets unbearable, you could let him know privately and respectfully that you understand this is a stressful time for him and you wonder if some of that stress is bleeding into his management style. It's harder to do quality work when one is walking on eggshells, so you would appreciate a list of the words to avoid so that work can go more smoothly.

  5. Anonymous

    You can do nothing. Keep him in your prayers.

  6. Anonymous

    Tbh if you have been there over a year I would consider leaving. He clearly lacks boundaries.

  7. Coach Nancie Kay Shuman

    Is there somoene who is above him on the Org chart? If so, I would speak with them, either directly or through their EA, and in a non I'M TELLING ON YOU way about the change in behavior. I would loop HR in as well. Perhaps if someone in a higher position speaks with your boss, he will get assistance and this behavior will stop.

    If there is not anyone who has more authority, then HR is probably the place to start, again I would probably approach it more I-AM-CONCERNED-ABOUT-THEM than THEY ARE BEING AN #*?@. . .

  8. Dr. Patty Gross

    Just remember, you are not responsible for his situation or helping him get through a stressful time. There are some very good suggestions here, and HR or a higher-level manager is more likely to help him get the support he needs (perhaps an FMLA break/sabatical to get through his current situation so he can focus on his job when he gets through it). I have been in similar situations where very unprofessional behavior ruled the day (smashing phones, hanging the spouse in effigy in the office, to name a few). Hopefully, this will pass with time before he loses his entire staff or gets fired because of his behavior.

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