To disclose or not to disclose?

28 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 23,2021 at 2:37PM UTC

   I would recommend disclosing to someone in HR. There are laws protecting you.

2. AnonymousSeptember 23,2021 at 5:29PM UTC

   I recommend disclosing. If you become unwell and absent from work because of a disability you have far more protection. You are also entitled to occupational health assessment if it is effecting your work. I do understand not all companies do things properly - but there are laws protecting you.

3. Tracey MorrisSeptember 23,2021 at 5:41PM UTC

   Definitely reach out to your HR team and discuss what you are experiencing. Make sure they have an opportunity to consider any necessary accommodations -- whether long term or temporary -- to help you successfully complete your work. There are legal requirements for the company, so they should do everything reasonable to work with you.

4. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 12:20PM UTC

   So I have a disability as well. I decided to disclose to my management and it was a huge mistake. I literally documented everything and the pattern shows that my manager created a hostile work environment. If I could have gone back and done it over again I would have worked with HR and let HR work with management. Just my 2 cents.

5. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 1:40PM UTC

   Wish I had gone the HR route. I did not feel comfortable discussing with management in one situation. In another situation I was advised by a coworker to contact HR regarding irregularities in on the job.

6. Janet TefftSeptember 26,2021 at 12:20PM UTC

   My personal recommendation is to contact hr and get an ADA in place. Yes, you must contact your doctor and yes your manager will know since the final decision for an accommodation is theirs but it's better than office chat. Take charge of your life.

7. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 12:37PM UTC

   Depending on the size of your company, you may qualify for FML or an accommodation under the ADAAA. In either case, your management does not need to know your medical information, only HR, and they should not share those details. In both scenarios, you’ll need to provide documentation from your health care provider.

8. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 12:42PM UTC

   If you want to talk through this with someone who can give you a sense of all the things you should be aware of, I would contact these good people: https://askjan.org/.

   There is a ton of information on the site to look through but please do not overwhelm yourself before speaking to someone there. I think they can help you prepare for your next steps.

   Best wishes! If you feel ok sharing, I am sure many of us would like to know how this turns out for you. If, for some reason, this turns out where you feel you are being discriminated against because of your condition, please contact: www.eeoc.gov. If you work for a company that has federal contracts, this is what you can do: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/ofccp/contact/file-complaint.

   Hopefully, you will not need to pursue filing a complaint, but it is legally protected activity for you to use these processes. Talk to these resources first - especially the Job Accommodation Network (JAN) - because HR needs to be properly managed. They usually look out for the employer exclusively. I don't want you to trust them with disclosure (which you are right, is in your best interest) before you are properly prepared. Again, I wish you the best.

9. Nicole FortuneSeptember 26,2021 at 12:53PM UTC

   As a caregiver I have FMLA papers on file for intermittent leave as needed. Once you have the conversation with HR it makes all other conversations if needed easier because youbwill understand protocol and options. I would also speak to the coworker that you shared with out of concern for safety reasons. If possible not in a hositle just that you mentioned that to them not with the intention of them sharing and just would like that notated for future conversations. Sometimes people make honest mistakes and just cant see themselves in other shoes.

10. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 12:55PM UTC

    I would disclose, but just to HR so they can file the appropriate paperwork so you get what you need such as intermittent FMLA leave, if needed.
    Wishing you the best. ❤️

11. Amber HumphreySeptember 26,2021 at 1:11PM UTC

    If you decide to disclose, make sure to keep a paper trial. If the disclosure is in person, be sure to follow up with an email, outlining what you discussed and your understanding of HR told you.

12. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 1:13PM UTC

    I foolishly disclosed my diabetes as well as serious health condition of a family member, and although I effectively and efficiently worked long hours (global company), I was treated differently by younger, healthier management without such issues. They coooed and tut tutted that I needed a break but actually supplied no useful support even when 3 immediate family members died within 4 months.

13. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 2:10PM UTC

    I have a disability and so do both my sons. I have only disclosed my disability to a mentor who in turn after a year became my boss. It has been beneficial because he works with me however generally you do not need to disclose a disability. If you need accommodations then it is something you should talk with HR about. I understand where you are coming from in letting your coworkers know and the coworker who advised others was out of line (may have been thinking well we need to watch in case there is a medical emergency) have you discussed this with your manager? They should also be helping you navigate if accommodations are needed and if you need any support. The manager should also be talking with that coworker as they should not have said anything.

14. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 2:49PM UTC

    1) Get a note from your doctor with the side effects of the medication and accommodations or actions that may need to be taken. (Proof)
    2) Address this and your expectations of privacy along with knowledge to the appropriate people. That’s a difficult balancing act. You need them to be aware but also want to maintain a bit of discretion. Suggestion that you lean towards the coworker being overly concerned by informing the team. Meaning give them a pass on the breach of privacy as long as it is a teaching moment.

    Covid seems to have blown the doors off medical privacy. Too many people have had to come forward disclosing all sorts of private medical conditions not only theirs but family members. It’s a bit of a new world.

    When speaking with HR, be factually. Keep emotions out. Set your intention that this doesn’t impact your work purposefully. That you have completed your work and will do so.

    Remember anyone is one breathe away from a major health crisis whether that be heart, accident, or other. Sometimes it’s worth reminding healthy people of how lucky they are.

15. Laura Phillips DolliesSeptember 26,2021 at 4:06PM UTC

    Unfortunately some disabilities, for example ADHD or anxiety disorders, bring a tendency toward emotionality, especially when speaking about the disability! HR departments need to be less judgmental about tears or emotions.

16. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 3:24PM UTC

    Im' guessing this might be a mental health issue, which makes it more sensitive. Regardless, you are permitted to have an issue or disability at work. Put your chin up and march forward. You've done a great job. Too bad your coworker blew your privacy. Tell your manager and state that you understand this is confidential. and get a note from your physician or mental health professional. Good luck.

17. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 3:50PM UTC

    I was recently on the other side of this. A member of my team was underperforming to the point of needing to be on a formal improvement plan. As part of that conversation they disclosed a progressive disability (to me and HR rep jointly). We talked about accommodations (remote work was already providing the biggest need) but they ultimately determined that the role was not a fit and they needed to seek something else. It was very clear this was not information I was at liberty to disclose, even though in some cases it may have actually made things easier for this person. I am sorry you coworker did not honor that.

    I know that the disclose or not disclose question was very difficult during the search (we gave a long transition period). As their manager, I encouraged them to at least recognize the visible manifestation so it wouldn’t be a distraction and a stress (because stress amplified the issue and interviews are stressful enough). I know that I found it easier to have patience when I understood what was happening. Prior, it seemed they were not paying attention or lacking confidence.

    It was difficult to balance the needs of the individual with the needs of the org. We were able to provide accommodations but we could not lessen the responsibilities/requirements, and ultimately that is what this individual needed (and recently found).

18. KathrynSeptember 26,2021 at 4:05PM UTC

    I understand this so well. Unfortunately I am HR Manager. I will be sitting down with my boss and disclosing because she needs to know I hope it will not change anything but I bet it does

19. AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 4:11PM UTC

    I worked for a well known national company here in the US as a cashier for over 15 years, and when management found out I had a physical disability that couldn't be hidden (I was stuck in a walking boot due to an old ankle injury to try to give it time to stabilize and hopefully not become permanent). When my ankle injury became permanent because management refused to give me time off to attend needed physical therapy and doctor's appointments, and it only became permanent because of their refusal to give me the time off that I needed to seek proper medical care which at the time was a violation of my state's laws. They wrongfully terminated me under false pretenses, by claiming that I did something to a customer on a day that I wasn't even working because I was sitting in a doctor's office at the time being diagnosed with pink eye, strep throat, and a major ear infection; on the date and time they claimed I did it. After I was wrongfully terminated due to disability, I immediately contacted an attorney who told me to file a complaint with the EEOC. I eventually received an out of court settlement from my former employer, and I took the money and started my own business. So, I don't have to deal with this issue anymore. I also can set my own schedule depending on how my various disabilities are affecting me, as I also had my 2nd open heart surgery earlier this year due to a congenital heart condition (I was born with it) in which I received a pacemaker and a mechanical heart valve. I'm very happy now that I work for myself, especially since traditional employers won't hire me now because of my most recent surgery and new hardware that I received to keep me alive. It's harder being self-employed sometimes, but I love it and it works well for me. Becoming self-employed might be something that works better for you, and might be worth looking into.

20. DanielleSeptember 26,2021 at 7:30PM UTC

    Oh wow! I’m so sorry to hear you went through this, I’m glad it worked out. I’d like to work from home but my job doesn’t allow that.

21. Mosun AsanpaolaSeptember 26,2021 at 5:02PM UTC

    Take a look at The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 or ADA is a civil rights law that prohibits discrimination based on disability.
    Effective: July 26, 1990
    You are fully protected under this law and if you don't have the time to read it, contact a disability lawyer or an agency or organization dealing with your disability.
    A certified Rehabilitation Counselor in your States VR agency might be of help to. Good luck

22. Stephanie F, MSHRMSeptember 26,2021 at 7:47PM UTC

    This.
    You also are not required to disclose to anyone. I suggest disclosing to HR so that you can receive the needed accommodations.

23. DanielleSeptember 26,2021 at 7:45PM UTC

    Wow! Thank you everyone!

    I am fortunate enough that my direct supervisor is absolutely amazing. She has been incredibly supportive. There has been no judgement at all. I expressed my disappointment about the coworker talking about my disability and she understood. She actually informed him that he was out of line and breaking my HIPAA rights.

    I have contacted my district manager requesting a meeting to discuss my disability. I’m waiting for a response. Once I have spoken to him, I will contact HR.

    For the person who asked, yes, my disability is mental illness. The specific diagnosis is recognized under ADA.

    I am traveling to another country in November so I have to get my doctor to write notes for my medication. All of this will be enough for HR as well.

    I’ll keep everyone updated once I have more information.

    Thank you again for the support!

24. AnonymousSeptember 28,2021 at 3:03PM UTC

    Just a quick reminder that HIPAA is an agreement that your doctors must abide to. Your coworkers have zero obligations to share or not share that. Was it in poor taste? Yes, but you shared it and then they shared it.

25. Kimberly MoonOctober 4,2021 at 2:48AM UTC

    Yes, I was just going to say that.

26. AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 12:16PM UTC

    I too have a disability - a neurological condition that causes extreme bouts of pain. This is a condition nearly at the top of the pain scale. I have been with my company for nearly nine years. Whenever I have joined a new team with a new supervisor I have disclosed because I do need the occasional accommodation to take a break during the day and take medication and rest. I also make sure I share information with my supervisor that explains my condition and the impacts it can have on one's life - my condition is quite rare and isn't commonly known. I find the information helpfully educates my supervisor on my condition and helps them understand my challenges. My condition is moderately controlled with the occasional flare. I also share my condition with my immediate teammates so they understand that I may be offline for a few hours to tend to a flare. HR is aware of my condition because I needed an accommodation for travel.
    It is a hard decision, but I have almost always found it helpful for my immediate circle to be aware. However, in my last position - when my condition was not as under control as it is now - it lead to my dismissal with severance. The position didn't allow for the accommodations that I have now and my condition lead to many confrontations that made the role more stressful and was a contributor to my condition getting worse. (Stress can be a tremendous trigger to my flares.) If you find yourself in this position, document everything. This will help you if you have to go to a lawyer and eventually present your case.) By doing this, I was able to negotiate a very good settlement/severance package with my previous employer because they didn't want to see this taken up as a legal case.
    Believe me, I know this is a difficult issue, but in the time between my last company and my current company, I feel understanding about disabilities and the accommodations that are required has increased significantly.

27. AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 12:20PM UTC

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder three years after being with my current employer. I had been experiencing manic episodes while at work but wasn't truly aware of what was going on until I was hospitalized. I had to meet with a Therapist on a weekly basis that gave me some insight on how I would deal coworkers once I was able to return back to work. I was on short term disability for about four months. You don't have to disclose anything to anyone, even though I feel it is helpful for people to know in case you are having some difficulties.

28. laSeptember 27,2021 at 12:35PM UTC

    I am a Rehabilitation Counselor and work in a state Vocational Rehabilitation office. You can always reach out to us for help in this area. One of the things we do is support individuals as they disclose to an employer and work with the individual and the employer through the process to make sure the employee is getting necessary accommodations without taking advantage of the employer (yes it happens) or getting the shaft. This often helps an employer feel confident about actions to take and therefor work with the individual.

    Disclosing a disability after the fact of poor performance does not protect you. In cases like yours, if you choose not to disclose it upfront, then you should disclose it as soon as you notice it impacting your performance.

    Disclosure needs to happen to someone in charge; preferably to the HR department though simply letting your supervisor know covers you under the law. You do NOT need to provide proof of disability or any kind of formal letter to have steps started towards accommodation. Obviously it would be easier if you have it in writing that they were told but the law would cover even a simple comment made to a supervisor. Your employer cannot demand any kind of medical examination unless it is directly related to your job.

    I understand why you chose to disclose to your team members. These are the people who you work closely with and are likely to notice an issue. The difficulty is that they have zero power in protecting you from discrimination. And as you found out, disclosing to a coworker gives the impression that you are talking about your disability in public and so they share the information widely.

    Remember that HR is there to protect the company. While they may be offering you accommodations, it is because they are protecting the company by making sure the law is followed. I highly suggest getting an advocate from Vocational Rehabilitation, NAMI, or a disability rights organization to support you through this. They can help make sure you are getting the full spectrum of accommodations required, assist in educating your employer, and also help make sure you do not over-share to the point it bites you later on. You do not have to go through this process alone!