Now what?

Anonymous

July 7,2023 at 2:43PM UTC

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Now what?

Back in January, I turned in notice. My boss asked what needed to happen to keep me. I gave him a list of four items that needed to change and he verbally agreed to make them happen. (I know, should have asked for in writing). Now it's July and I have slowly watched each item evaporate... he's not come through on anything on the list so far. There is one item left - and I will find out the answer on Monday at the soonest. If he doesn't come through on this one... then what? I like my job and coworkers, I've been here 5 years. I've gone from part time receptionist to more than full time accountant.

My boss loves to tell people "hang in there". It's been six months, how much more "hanging in" needs to be done? After my ultimatum in January I can't just threaten to quit or he'll try to string me along again. I don't have a choice in this, do I? If the last item doesn't come through, I need to quit?

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AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 3:26PM UTC
You don't need to quit without another job lined up, so I would look for another job and quit then.
AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 4:02PM UTC
Did you have another opportunity lined up when you gave your notice in January? Were you open with your dissatisfaction with your employer prior to giving notice at that time? My advice is simply move on. Not uncommon for an employer to make empty promises in order to keep you. They will string you along, making all kinds of promises as long as you allow it.
AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 4:09PM UTC
You always have a choice......
You can choose to stay understanding that there will be no changes. With or without the threat to leave. Nothing will change. So love your job, coworkers, etc. Just embrace things as they are.
If you want, you can also choose to get a new job and leave. But for real this time. No more empty threats.
AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 4:19PM UTC
There are unfortunately no consequences to your boss's non-action. He's delivered on nothing and you're still in the same role, performing the same duties. He's buying a few more months here and there with the bait of "hang in there."
You can either be miserable and accept the status quo or start to look for another job. Nothing will change and I think you're already aware of this. If you're not changing it, you're choosing it. Best wishes.
AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 4:52PM UTC
Yes, sadly written agreement would have been key. You should be sending a follow email with those 4 items he committed to and cc his leader. Also, hindsight moment, you should have also set up a monthly touch base on each item too. You have no recourse, also your boss (archaic term) may not be the decision maker on all your 4 items. Recognize and identify those. It's up to you how you move forward, what's best for you. Hopefully you've learned a lot going through this. Also, ultimatum's rarely work out in the business world, you are replaceable no matter how amazing and valued you are. Side note, job market is tough, be prepared for a delay on securing a new position if you quit while not having a position to go to.
AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 5:53PM UTC
Yes, you will need to quit otherwise what good was giving the ultimatum? Live up to your word.
Audrey KirschJuly 7,2023 at 6:21PM UTC
Find a new job, then give notice. You've gained so many skills during your time there that you should seek out a position where you will get paid for them without having to work 'more than full time'. Nothing is likely to change where you are so stay because you enjoy the job and co-workers or leave because you want things that you will never get where you are.
AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 6:24PM UTC
People like this don’t honor any agreement, written or oral. I wouldn’t waste anymore time. In fact, his stalling was probably so he could find a replacement for you. But he sounds lazy as hell.
Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJuly 7,2023 at 6:32PM UTC
Don't accept this complacency. Begin your job search now. If resigning without a new job in hand is an option consider it. You wanted to leave in January for a reason. Sounds like that reason still holds true, with the added intelligence that your boss won't hold his end of a bargain. Deal breaker. Time to go.
KatJuly 7,2023 at 6:34PM UTC
You attempted to rage quit and your boss made vague promises to keep you there. You're stuck now because your threats to quit are as empty as your boss' promises to change things. It's time to get out of this negative pattern and break the cycle. Polish that resume and start looking for a new job. Nothing is going to change where you are, so it's time to move on. Once you've got another offer, take it and don't look back.
AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 7:29PM UTC
Your boss has been proven unreliable or unable (i.e., doesn't have the power) to fulfill any promises, so why would you trust him with a new set? I'm with those that say it's time to polish the resume, find a new job, and make your exit. Don't fall for any other promises. If he comes back with a "but what if?" argument, remind him of the previous broken promises and say this time it's final. Good luck to you, and once you leave, please, don't look back.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 8,2023 at 12:45AM UTC
Another counter offer gone bad. I hope y'all are paying attention FGBers.
OF COURSE you have a choice. You always have a choice. I think the first choice you should make is to choose to not look at negotiations for your career progression as "ultimatums".
Why did you turn in your resignation in January? Did you have another job offer? How did you telling your boss what you needed to stay turn into an "ultimatum"?
I mean, the choice to stay or go is up to you. Why do you seem to see everything in such black and white terms? If your last "ultimatum" item doesn't come through on Monday, why can't you continue to work there while you look for a new job? Why is the only option you seem to see is to quit?
Sarah BordersJuly 8,2023 at 2:00PM UTC
Yes! I can’t say it any better than this. Keep your current job, but start looking for your next one. Once you have a new job lined up, give notice at your current one. Your boss should not be surprised, and if he asks what he can do to keep you this time, remind him that you had that conversation already, and it went nowhere. It sounds like liking your job and coworkers on its own is not enough for you to stay, so don’t let that (or your boss’s plea to “hang in there”) stop you. Good luck!
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netJuly 8,2023 at 12:24PM UTC
A person should never ever accept a counter offer. There have been many studies on this over the years.
Cathleen PlazasJuly 9,2023 at 2:31PM UTC
Can you share some sources? I'm genuinely interested.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netJuly 9,2023 at 10:59PM UTC
Articles on LinkedIn, Wall Street Journal etc. I think i may have saved an article as i go over this on every placement that I make. I don't know what the rules are on this but you can email me if allowed at rosemary@rgstaffing.net and i will try to find it and email you if you would like.
AnonymousJuly 8,2023 at 1:02PM UTC
Now what...what, you're still there. It's all the same. There is no reason to expect anything but the smallest offering. And even that final thing is a big question mark.
Be satisfied with you decision to stay since you love your job and coworkers. Maybe you'll get a small bumb in pay when the time comes.
Sarah SolanaJuly 8,2023 at 1:12PM UTC
If you aren't applying and interviewing, it's time to start. "Hang in there" can be a manipulation tactic without a concrete plan and actions. It is also fair to ask your boss for the plan to get you to where you want to be.
GirlBossanova934974July 8,2023 at 2:36PM UTC
As a few commenters have already said, NEVER accept counter offers! Be on your way out the door and don't look back. Several years ago, I received a version of a counter offer where I was PROMISED that once the big software migration got finished, I would be getting all the expensive training that everyone else had received. So not more than 2 weeks later, guess what? The Department Head proudly announced that I would be doing "whatever I was doing" after the big software migration got finished. I was out of there in 6 weeks! Turned in my 2 week notice and was gone! NEVER believe any employer's words! Actions are the only thing that counts!
MislynJuly 8,2023 at 3:03PM UTC
Never ever trust your employer. They are only out for themselves. Document everything, emails, messages and phone conversations also. I was promised the world plus with an employer. Oh the lies and deception I was put through. Everything he ever promised me was a blatant lie. I was told I would be running the business right along side him and that we would be living the life we want with the hard work we put in. I put in the hard work. I did everything there and did not ever see the money from the growth I built for the company. It all went to him and his family. He cheated me his other employees his partner everyone he came in contact with. Get out while you can before they ruin you as a person. Promises are only promises.
EmpoweredGirl843906July 8,2023 at 3:05PM UTC
Why never trust your employer? That seems harsh.
AnonymousJuly 8,2023 at 6:02PM UTC
I agree. Never trust them. Borne of experience.
AnonymousJuly 8,2023 at 7:11PM UTC
Get real! Your employer isn’t your friend. They’re paying you a wage to provide them with a good or service. This is a business transaction, always!
MislynJuly 9,2023 at 5:55PM UTC
Funny thing is I thought my employer was my friend! We were very close and spent most of our time together. I never thought he would ever treat me the way he did. And most of it was behind my back.
MislynJuly 9,2023 at 5:57PM UTC
Because they use you to get what they want. You mean nothing to them but money and some bosses care about nothing but money.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netJuly 9,2023 at 10:53PM UTC
such a sad way to live life.
AnonymousJuly 8,2023 at 4:27PM UTC
I have been in various management/supervisory positions. One of the most significant "rules" of management is that when an employee gives notice or threatens to quit, let them go. Do not try to talk them out of it because even if they are talked into staying, they will always have one foot out the door. He handled the situation poorly when you gave notice by not accepting your resignation and you didn't stand your ground and follow through. Time to give final notice and move on.
AnonymousJuly 8,2023 at 5:04PM UTC
See this as a lesson learned. As I see it, if your company can't improve or give you what you need before you give your notice, then it's time to leave. Give your notice and move on. The likelihood that a change will occur is low as you are still there.
Liz MilneJuly 9,2023 at 2:30AM UTC
If it doesn't come through, hand in your notice the very next day and directly cite the fact that he made four commitments to keep you and has broken every single one of them. If nothing else, you might feel some satisfaction at knowing you've made it clear to him why you are going this time... And be prepared to walk, UNLESS he makes the changes before you agree to stay this time.
AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 12:13PM UTC
I've learned the hard way that documentation is key, it's hard when you have good rapport with them and then walls get let down. I never went to work with a pad and paper, because I would document things. But, things unfortunately change sometimes. You have to do you! I'm learning that more now, and I'm stoked for my new journey in my career. Good luck
Kelly Harman-SeversonJuly 9,2023 at 12:43PM UTC
Find a new job and give your two weeks notice. Don’t quit until you have a new job.
Looking for a changeJuly 9,2023 at 1:17PM UTC
I give you credit for waiting 7 months to have 4 items be provided. I wouldn’t tell anyone that you are looking I would just start going on interviews. Find another job, but in you notice. If they ask why either site that you were promised things and weren’t given anything or say you got a better opportunity. Don’t agree to stay . Unless you are happy you have to leave.
AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 1:48PM UTC
My opinión is that if your boss has not met 90% of your agreement it is time to seek other opportunities for your own co tinue growth and development, as well as mental health.
I try to see the work culture dynamics as a reflexion of my personal life. When I am able to do that I have moved faster with changes I have to make. I understand it is not an easy move because I have in the past stayed in situation thinking there is no guarantee of another job being better, but what of it is? I now know it is worth the chance to find out.
Much clarity for you to make the best decision for you. Success to you always.
AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 4:39PM UTC
Now what? It sounds like you made your decision.
AnonymousJuly 9,2023 at 7:09PM UTC
Time to move on. Regardless of the reason, they don’t value keeping you as much as they do stringing you along.
AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 1:17PM UTC
Sounds like you want to give notice. This time, if asked, get your promised list in writing with a clear deadline 30-45 days (?) of when changes will be implemented.
OR simply give notice and siting promised changes in January that have not materialized to date.
AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 1:40PM UTC
Your manager shows you who he is and what this company is about. Don't wait around. Quietly look for a new job and then quit. This time, don't let him string you along. Since he's already doing that, even after he caved when you threatened him the second time, what's the point? He will do it to you in the future again. Better spend all your effort preparing for a great interview and secure a better job.
Patricia ManroeJuly 10,2023 at 6:09PM UTC
If after 7 months and they haven't given you demands I would leave them. I f they haven't met any of your demands yet there aren't going to.
EMILY KIKUE FRANKJuly 10,2023 at 8:52PM UTC
Start looking! You only need to hang in there long enough to find something else.
Kehkashan AwanJuly 11,2023 at 4:27AM UTC
Ask yourself whether you feel valued at your current organisation and whether the next employer will provide you with all the things which you are asking for from your current boss to provide. Whenever taking a decision to quit, we need to be clear about our reasons for leaving. It’s helpful to speak to a mentor or a coach to ensure that you are not making a career faux pas.
best of luck!
AnonymousJuly 11,2023 at 7:59PM UTC
Ask yourself if you are looking for advice here or trying to justify your choices. You know weather you want to stay or go. Stop stressing and just pick one.
AnonymousJuly 12,2023 at 10:56PM UTC
Personally, if my boss promised me specific things and didn't follow through, I don't think I could trust them to follow through on future things.
I'm in a similar boat, minus the turning in notice (yet). I was asked to take on an entire position added to my duties, and the pay negotiation did not go anywhere near in my favor. My initial offer was 1/3 of what they would have to pay if I refused the position, but they cut it down to 10-15% of what a new person would cost, and rejected every counter offer I had. I was insecure and worried that if I turned down the job I would be stuck where I'm at, so I finally agreed, with the stipulation that I got a 6% increase guaranteed at our next annual raise (which was about 5 months away). The new boss agreed, but didn't get it approved by HR. So instead, they would only approve a 4% increase. He apologized and took full responsibility, saying he would work on an additional dollar increase for a few months later. It's been 3 months, and not only have I not heard anything about that again, but the company has been tightening it's belt and looking for ways to save money, so I can guarantee they'd never approve another increase this soon.
Long story short, I'm now on the hunt for another job. I no longer feel valued by anyone but my direct boss (technically I have two now, but my "old" one is my day-to-day boss), and all I see in my future is added duties and responsibilities without recognition. If your boss is stringing you along, he will continue to do so as long as you let him. Just like you, I've been at my company for over 6 years (almost 4 in this position), and I generally enjoy the type of work I do, the autonomy I get in my day-to-day, and I generally like my coworkers. But that can only go so far if you don't feel valued by the company.
Connie ChingJuly 13,2023 at 10:32AM UTC
Do you have another job lined up? Are you ok with not quiting?
maria roseJuly 14,2023 at 5:54PM UTC
The statement by this individual says it all —they have no choice but to move on since they are not getting what they expect from their present job situation. Yeah moving forward to a new position is scary but the choice is clear—to stay on and continue to get a paycheck or move on. The fact that this individual failed to search out new opportunities is on them and they created that problem but not searching. There’s nothing wrong in testing the job market for better opportunities even when in a job you are satisfied with.