Hey fellow Women workers!

Anonymous

October 25,2022 at 5:25PM UTC

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Hey fellow Women workers!

I’ve never posted on here before but have enjoyed reading posts and responses for a few years now!

The question I have is what is your SLA (defined or not) or just expectation on when you’ll respond to email inquiries? My manager, on a few occasions, has made passive aggressive comments to me such as “oh, I thought you weren’t online today!” “Oh I thought you no called/no showed today!” Etc if it takes me more than 2ish hours to respond to email. For visibility, I wfh and we have 5 different forms of communication we use and as a Business Partner I’m on calls pretty consistently throughout day so it may take a moment to respond to emails (never more than 2 hours). I feel like managers comments are PA bc she knows I’m online; I’m pinging team group, tagging her reports/docs, etc. I’m at a loss and these comments do hurt and scare me. Any recs?

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Amalie BishopOctober 25,2022 at 6:46PM UTC
If I were in your shoes, I would ask for a minute of her time to talk to her privately and just clear the air about it. Say something like, "Hey, I want you to know that it is important to me to respond to your emails and messages in a timely manner, and I do my best to make it within 2 hours if at all possible. I just need to understand what your expectations for response times are, so that we are on the same page."
Be kind and respectful, but don't be afraid of her, because no one, manager or not, has the right to bully you. You may be in different positions, but you are an asset to the team just as much as she is, and as a human, you have the right to stand up for yourself and be treated with dignity. If she doesn't back off after that, then maybe communicating with HR as a mediator will help.
AnonymousOctober 26,2022 at 5:52AM UTC
It’s scheduled! Thank you for taking the time to respond to me! I definitely want to truly discuss expectations but in turn am hoping she sees she’s being a tad unreasonable ?
Amalie BishopOctober 26,2022 at 1:13PM UTC
Sending happy thoughts your way to give you wisdom and strength!
Julie HumbirdOctober 25,2022 at 8:40PM UTC
Agree with Amalie. Have a conversation asking how you should prioritize her emails over chats and customer calls. Honestly, email is almost as antiquated as an in-person meeting and should never be considered urgent regardless of flags. I say this as someone that has been managing email infrastructure for 20+ years. I would never prioritize an email over a chat or phone call ... unless someone chats me that there is an email they need me to look at :)
AnonymousOctober 26,2022 at 5:51AM UTC
100%! Emails are for non-urgent updates (at least that’s always been the underlying hierarchy of communication tools), so that’s when I get a moment I’m looking at pings, Salesforce messages, tagged questions in docs I need to respond to! Thank you for taking time to respond!
AnonymousOctober 25,2022 at 9:55PM UTC
Ask to schedule a 1 on 1 with your manager to address the comments. Also be ready to address a solution. If there is a period of time where you will not be able to get to emails right away, especially since you can get flooded with them. Offer up the option to have the mgr ping you on TEAMS/SKYPE or whatever is used for him to check in on something he may need prioritized or urgent response on. You can take control, by being the better and more mature person. Acknowledge that from your observations your manager seems effected by the speed of your response and you want to work collaboratively with him to help improve each other's engagement. Also mention that hey I think your comments come across passive aggressive and is demotivating at best. And that you would appreciate it if the mgr keeps the conversations to what is needed. Start quoting the specific examples. And say you dont think he meant any harm, but it is offputing and "makes you uncomfortable" See those group of words right there..."makes you uncomfortable" holds weight. So use your words carefully to help trigger change in your jerk of a boss. Good luck!
AnonymousOctober 26,2022 at 5:48AM UTC
Thank you for taking time to respond to me! I really like the “uncomfortable” point you make…I was brainstorming if I should say “hurt” or “demoralized” but using uncomfortable is fitting and hopefully a trigger so she chills out!
Maria MolinariOctober 26,2022 at 6:35AM UTC
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
I agree, this is passive aggressive behavior and I think you should set a meeting with her. In the meeting, you should express your expectations and capacity for responding to emails and gather her expectations for response time. If they differ try to see how you can make it to common ground.
Shelly EdwardsOctober 26,2022 at 7:15PM UTC
Have you spoken with her regarding her comments? I would ask for a one-on-one conversation to review your daily workload and the tasks you accomplish each day. Explain to her that your calls and other forms of communication keep you busy throughout the day and you do your best to respond as timely as possible. Work with her to set reasonable expectations and see if you can find a common ground, but be clear that her comments are hurtful and unprofessional. Ask her for direct feedback rather than side comments that are unproductive.