Lack of integrity and accountability

20 Comments

1. Heather CutlerApril 30,2022 at 2:28AM UTC

   Nothing to resolve, end the mentor / mentee relationship and find someone different.

2. Tasha L. SimmonsApril 30,2022 at 3:24AM UTC

   I agree, thank you.

   However we are part of the same social media network( not Fairy Godboss)

3. Heather CutlerApril 30,2022 at 11:37AM UTC

   Sounds to me like you’re at a crossroads being in the submissive position as a mentee. Think about the courtesies you’re extending this person who lacks integrity and accountability because I assure you they won’t reciprocate.

4. AnonymousApril 30,2022 at 2:35AM UTC

   Is this mentor teaching lack of integrity and accountability? Then you should be good.

5. Tasha L. SimmonsApril 30,2022 at 3:23AM UTC

   The mentor actions lack integrity and accountability

6. AnonymousApril 30,2022 at 5:34AM UTC

   You do not want this to reflect back on you. If you can see it then others most certainly can and have come to their own conclusions. And they may have already started associating you with it. Do not feel bad about the need to work with someone who shares your values.

7. Alexis GladstoneApril 30,2022 at 2:59AM UTC

   I'm not sure about the accountability issue, but if there is a lack of integrity, I would end the relationship. If it's a formal mentoring program, I would ask to be reassigned.

8. Tasha L. SimmonsApril 30,2022 at 3:26AM UTC

   Thank you, not sure how to do so since the mentor and I are on the same social media network app (not Fairy Godboss)

9. Alexis GladstoneApril 30,2022 at 3:46PM UTC

   Can you thank the individual for their time and what you've gotten out of the relationship then share that at this time you don't see any more benefit of continuing?

10. Tasha L. SimmonsApril 30,2022 at 8:00PM UTC

    Yes I could, most people on the app praise the mentor I see the person as Lying Mentor. So I am currently analyzing so I not interact on the app

11. AnonymousApril 30,2022 at 5:28AM UTC

    If you have a choice, leave the relationship. Unfortunately, if they are the mentor, they are not accountable to you- so unless it is an HR matter, you can do nothing. If you have no choice, go through the work based activity in a professional manner, but do not engage with them personally in any way.

12. Shanita Taylor BSIS, BSc (Psyc), M.A.E.LApril 30,2022 at 7:49AM UTC

    Get a new one.

13. Tasha L. SimmonsApril 30,2022 at 11:32PM UTC

    I prefer not having a mentor (unless the person offer and their values align with mines) previous mentor experiences has changed my view of mentors.

14. AnonymousApril 30,2022 at 9:47PM UTC

    1) Self preservation: Understand the politics of your work environment. Is the mentor's behavior an anomaly or is the mentor echoing the same behavior of other individuals, particularly in leadership? If the latter, consider the possibility that that person might be protected if you report it.

    2) If you reported it anonymously, could the mentor still find out? If so, will employer give you another mentor? If the mentor finds out, it could lead to negative blow-back if your are stuck with him/her.

    My Advice: Learn the people in your environment. Find someone else on your mentor's level, befriend them and build a rapport with them. As you build a bond with this other person, ask them if they are willing to be your mentor and then ask your mgr to switch and you can justify that you find that you are able to learn and pick up concepts much faster with the other person.

    If the mentor's behaviour can lead to the harm and safety of others being compromised, see if you can get evidence and report it discreetly. Often times, without as evidence, it can leave HR hands tied and treat it as heresay

    If the mentor is portraying the culture of your work environment, it may be worth having the introspection in whether its an environment you want to remain in and take the next steps, to transition on.

15. Tasha L. SimmonsApril 30,2022 at 11:30PM UTC

    Thank you for your advice, honestly I appreciate ALL replies. I decided to keep my distance from the mentor as much as possible.

16. Sabrina RahmanMay 1,2022 at 5:00PM UTC

    “...So why did you do that?”

    “I just want to hear it from

    your perspective.”

    If it is really underhanded, resolution might not be possible. So transfer to a different mentor.

    I would choose that over taking my chances with someone who has proven to be untrustworthy or underhanded.

17. Tasha L. SimmonsMay 1,2022 at 7:12PM UTC

    I just decided currently I don't want a mentor, I prefer people that are honesty and the mentor is not honesty.

18. AnonymousMay 1,2022 at 6:54PM UTC

    What do you mean by "resolve?"

    Usually the person with more power sets the rules. If you don't like the rules, you can find another mentor. If the next one is the same way you know that they're trying to teach you to be the same way.

19. Tasha L. SimmonsMay 1,2022 at 7:13PM UTC

    This is not about a power play, I just decided not to interact with someone that's a liar.

20. S.May 2,2022 at 3:07PM UTC

    Honestly, I would not have them be my mentor. Integrity is a big deal.