Looking for some insight. I am doing a job right now that stresses me out so much I am sick to my stomach every day. I make mistakes all the time no matter how hard I try.

32 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 5,2024 at 2:53PM UTC

   Unless there is a planned RIF, you will probably not be given a package for leaving. You will only get a package if there is a layoff and the company decides to give packages (packages are not required during layoffs). From a web search: [[Federal and state law do not require employers to offer severance packages. Whether you receive severance pay depends, in part, on your employment contract.]] [[Severance packages are not required by law, but employers tend to offer them as gestures of goodwill or to be competitive in their industries. Typical severance packages offer one to two weeks of paid salary for every year worked.]]. I would suggest talking with friends or a counselor about the stress topic. It could be that the stress problem may carry to your next employment if it is not dealt with now.

2. Mary MeffeJuly 5,2024 at 4:40PM UTC

   The package to get you to leave is offered when they no longer need you, but you want to stay. If you tell the boss you want to leave, then they do not need to offer anything.

3. AnonymousJuly 5,2024 at 5:14PM UTC

   You sound like you know you are not doing well and want to be offered money to leave. That, rarely happens in this type of circumstances. The appropriate thing to do is to say that you notice your mistakes and need guidance to be able to do well in what you do .

4. Krystin MorganJuly 5,2024 at 5:15PM UTC

   I'd be very wary of doing this, because it's possible they could say, "Okay, today is your last day" without offering any sort of severance. It's a really difficult job market out there right now.

   I DO think you should consider applying elsewhere and networking to try and find something new. And think about why you are so stressed—can you identify anything that would make it better? If so, that is something you could bring up to your boss!

5. AnonymousJuly 5,2024 at 7:18PM UTC

   Sounds tough, and sorry about this experience that has built up inside you. If this job is too much then take it by the horns and go for a job that you're more equipped for that won't eat at you when there are errors. Caution thinking they'll offer a package. Go, find your new joy!

6. GirlBossanova934974July 6,2024 at 1:18PM UTC

   As others have already stated, it is unlikely you are going to get a reasonable severance package for admitting you cannot the job you were hired to do. That being said, maybe it's time to dial things down a bit and take stock of what is happening.......1) Did you knowingly apply and accept a job that required skills you did not have? IF so, it is time to apply for other jobs outside the company ASAP and not repeat the same mistake again. 2) If you had the skills which were required or at least thought you did, you should be going to your boss ASAP and asking for TRAINING. It is too common these days for new employees to get thrown in the mix and asked to do things they were NEVER told they would be doing. That is NOT a fault of yours. Look for outside training resources as well. 3) What kind of mistakes are you making? From what you are writing, there's no detail here. As a business owner myself and someone who has been in the workforce for a few decades, I know that you are NOT going to hire the perfect employee every time. Maybe some task adjustments and transfers are required.........IF YOU DON'T TELL anyone, they cannot help you......

7. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 4:44PM UTC

   Thank you (and everyone) for the wake up call. The job I was hired to do has completely changed (with a leadership change) so I do find myself doing a job that I do not have all the skills for and I seem to be trying to hit a moving target. I will definitely go into this meeting with my boss with a different mindset. My goal is to give my best while I search for something else. I’ve had a few days here where I feel like I’d welcome a termination which is not like me at all. Thank you all.

8. GirlBossanova934974July 6,2024 at 7:56PM UTC

   That pretty much settles it.........You need to tell your boss exactly what you have written here. I was hired to do X + Y. Now I am being asked to do X + Y + Z + A. I really don't how to do Z and A. You should give your boss a little bit more leeway to begin with. Once he or she finds out what your skillsets you need, that person may set up some new training or new classes for you to take. Try it out. THE BIGGEST PLUS in your career is learning new skillsets. Employers pay all sorts of EXTRA money for those skillsets. I remember back 18 years ago.....My boss calls me into his office and tells me JIM just resigned to go to work for EBAY for $50,000 more money that what we were paying him. My boss, the VP of Marketing tells me..........hey! We cannot afford to pay Jim that kind of money but I am asking you now to take on Jim's job as well as your own. And since I am reasonable, I am putting a $4,000 bonus check right on the table TODAY for you to learn what Jim was doing. INTERESTED? WHY NOT! So over a few months, I learned Jim's job quite well. That skillset today still attracts a lot of recruiters who pay beaucoup bucks for it. GOOD LUCK!

9. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 1:28PM UTC

   I would not say anything until you have a new job lined up and are prepared to give notice. If you give any indication of being unhappy, they might start looking for a replacement before you are ready to leave. I doubt they’d give you a severance in this circumstance and I would not say anything.

10. maria roseJuly 6,2024 at 5:58PM UTC

    As the others have said, you know already that your job performance is not up to the standards needed by this company which is why there’s a new supervisor who put you on a PIP. A PIP is a way for you to understand what your job requirements are and ask for assistance/training/guidance to achieve that expected performance. Since you already have admitted that your job skills are not up to the standards needed but you haven’t yet had this conversation with the supervisor or had this conversation yet you have decided that leaving the company is better “mentally or less stressful “ than trying to achieve the needed standards. Again your choice but to expect to get paid to leave with a severance package is a complete misunderstanding of what is a severance package. You have 2 basic choices, quit giving notice and apply for unemployment benefits—you would have to check your geographic area for how that works or deal with the PIP and maybe develop your skills to the standard needed. But also accept the fact that maybe this is not the job for you and you need to make a job change where your job skills are adequate enough for the needed performance.Some kind of change is due so consider this a wake up call to understand your actual performance and how you utilize that to meet the job requirements. It is not the other way around. Whatever path you choose is your choice.

11. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 6:04PM UTC

    Why are you so quick to make yourself unemployed. We all struggle at times to feel wanted, needed, meaningful and good at our jobs. Take the time to meet with your manager about the mistakes you are making and ask them for support to be better. After all the career you will advance when you learn how will be your own. Giving up is not an option unless you are wealthy. Also your stress level might be lessened by coming up with ways to decompress after work or during the work day to just chill out. Don't let the work week roll into your weekend, instead visualize pulling the plug out of the wall at around 3 on Friday and spend the last 2 hours planning how to do your work for the next week. Get some help, find a mentor, you can do this!

12. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 6:25PM UTC

    What if, instead, you took a look at your job description, and figured out what parts of your job you need help or additional training with, and went to your supervisor and asked for it? If it’s extra duties beyond your job description, perhaps there are some things that can be shifted around to someone with more bandwidth.

    If things can’t be moved, perhaps brainstorming with your boss on ways to tackle your tasks to break them down and make them more manageable and therefore have less errors is another conversation you can have, in addition to more training.

    Also: write processes down so you have something to refer to when you need it (I recently started at a huge company, and it’s been a handy tip to help me navigate some of the systems I don’t know or use very often).

    Don’t send yourself to unemployment unnecessarily. If your manager is a good one, they will guide and coach you toward feeling better about your job. And, if the job really is terrible, at least you’ve attempted to make it more manageable for yourself while you’re looking for something new. You’ve got this!

13. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 6:34PM UTC

    Asking why you are making mistakes all the time no matter how hard you try?

    Are you not receiving the training you require? Do you just not have the ability, knowledge or desire to do this particular job? Or have they not provided you with proper instruction to do the job?
    Meet with your boss to see how they can help.
    If you sinply just don't like the job and are continuing to be anxious and stressed, then look for a job that you can enjoy before leaving this job and find yourself unemployed.

14. Rosa GoesJuly 6,2024 at 6:52PM UTC

    If you want to go to your boss and tell them you want to leave, then basically you are resigning and that is not good if you don't have another job lined up. Also it is usually easier to look for another job while you have a job.

15. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 7:02PM UTC

    Oh boy, can I relate! I had one of those jobs. It ruins your weekends when you should be unstressing yourself, too. I'd recommend not talking to your boss unless you really love the company and feel you could be a better fit elsewhere in the organization. You do, however, need to get out of that job. Stress does awful things to your body. If you have a bachelor's degree ask if you can use the services of the career counselor at your alma mater with the aim of being able to succinctly describe the job and career you envision. Some, but not all, recruiters can do this well also. You need to use your bosses connections within the company, not him to be your confidante. Remember, it's under his supervision that you've grown to hate your job. That's not going to be received well if you are stressed and just looking for support to leave his group. A well prepared presentation as to your accomplishments and your career target will be better received by your boss. Now you've positioned him as a mentor, not a shoulder to cry on. Good luck!

16. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 3:09AM UTC

    There has been so much great advice given.

    We all deserve SOME work/life balance. Sometimes things aren't that balanced, but we still have to take care of ourselves. We all deserve to have a work situation where we don't cry every day or where we don't feel like our stomach is in knots. I can promise you there is NO job worth losing your mental health or your loved ones for paycheck. I know, pay is important but so is being able to look at yourself in the mirror and respect yourself for a job well done. Staying in a bad environment will take its toll on anyone. Having a difficult supervisor will really drain a person. Having a coworker who gaslights you will eventually lead to you feeling like you gaslight yourself. I have second guessed myself so many times. I have played the self-blame game so many times. I went through almost a two year period where if my gut told me to do something, I did the exact opposite (sometimes to my detriment) because I did not have any belief that I had any worth.

    I have been working for quite some time to achieve some balance and I was finally on my way to getting that balance and feeling secure enough to do some things for myself that I needed. My supervisor recently became very ill and I found myself back in the position of being expected to do all the things. I am not "licensed" to do all the things. I don't have all of the credentials to do all the things. I am quite certainly capable of doing any one of the things but I can't do them all and I can't put my name on them and be responsible for them.

    My situation isn't the usual corporate situation where there are many people to step in and reallocate the workload. We had a two person office. We used to have a five person office until one assistant moved away, another retired, our receptionist got tired of responsibilities shifted to her and our bookkeeper died. So, I was trying my hardest to keep things afloat. I wanted to leave SO bad, but none of those problems were things created by my supervisor (except shifting responsibilities on to our receptionist and it was only because he was trying to keep me from doing everything).

    I had known there were problems for quite awhile and I had been talking to my supervisor and telling him that we needed extra help because the expectation to do things I was unqualified to do was going to result in trouble for everyone. I needed to relieve some pressure. I was well on my way to having an absolute nervous breakdown. I had been covering for my boss as he was falling apart.

    I was noticing apathy and I kept trying to patch the holes in what was wrong. I was putting bandaids on situations that were hemorrhaging and I didn't believe I could ask for help, until I had to ask. The situation was dire.

    He was finally able to have a very honest discussion with me and he now realizes that he either has to step up and take responsibility for getting some help for both of us or he has to shut his business down because "I" cannot do this.

    Maybe there is a way to express your discontent in a way that seems like you are concerned for the company if things don't change for you. If you have a good relationship with your supervisor, it's worth trying to have discussion and figure out how to work as a team. Maybe there is a need your supervisor has overlooked and would be willing to make things right. Maybe you are just a number and easily replaceable.

    I get the "why make yourself unemployed" and "don't tell them you are going to quit." That said, if you feel like you are slipping off that last rung of the ladder that is holding you above water- then jump! Your self is not worth losing. Your physical, emotional and mental health are important. YOU are more important than whatever is making you sick.

    If you think it can be worked out, then work it out. If you feel like your only choice is to go- then do it. I have been there more than once. Losing yourself is NOT worth hanging on for one minute longer than you absolutely have to do.

17. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 2:08PM UTC

    Here is same as me this problem. I have to go see my director at HR for speaking my opinion. I have been dealing with difficulties co woker for ruining my career. It’s not easy to look at another job and trying to deal with kinda people.

    I’m still figuring out how to fix those problems. I’m starting seeing my mental health therapy for my solutions. Thank you for shared of your experience. Your worth!

18. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 3:03PM UTC

    If you tell your boss you want to leave, they’ll accept that as your resignation. Firms don’t usually give packages for people who resign.

19. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 4:21PM UTC

    I was like that. I have been with this company for a long time, so I was hoping my job could be eliminated, as there were several reorganizations already. I would have received a package. However, I kept surviving these reorganizations and keeping my job, on a negative side, with every reorganization what I was doing made less and less sense to me. Management kept changing groups, splitting, combining, promoting people who in my mind were not the right people. At some point I started looking outside. I since left. People kept telling I should have stayed for better money, but my health demanded a change. I did not talk to my manager about me looking, I did not trust her. I just found something else and left. So far, so good. At least I sleep better.

20. AnonymousJuly 8,2024 at 12:31PM UTC

    Been there! Dont do it! I thought I was being transparent and honest. No matter how cool you think your manager is their loyalty is not to you. Mine went to hr on my behalf and I went into a 1:1 and hr was there like we accept your resignation. Or you can have a pip and we’ll make your life harder. Although I got a package it quickly ran out with this market and is rare to receive anyways.

    Just start applying this market is hard. So do not quit or allow them to make you resign. Instead make it your mission to get out. Apply to something everyday! Network! Just don’t put your trust in that company.

21. AnonymousJuly 9,2024 at 1:12PM UTC

    Approach your manager if you have an emergency fund (or spouse that works) and you are 100% committed to leaving. Mental Health should always be #1. If you are not sure about leaving then definitely do not approach your manager.

    I was in a similar situation (different reasons but same idea) where I just wanted out. I told my manager I'm happy to leave if she needed to make cuts. Like magic, I received a package a couple months later. Keep in mind that layoffs may happen all at once and many times in Q4 so it could take a little while to get your wish.

22. Lori CasoJuly 9,2024 at 2:04PM UTC

    I would be more inclined to go to your boss and ask if the stress level could be lessened. Be very prepared with what your challenges are (1) unrealistic deadlines (2) workload unmanageable (3) unclear priorities- as examples.

    Are they happy with your performance? What can they offer to alleviate the stress ? Then I’d go from there.

    Hopefully you have a contingency plan if they dismiss you with no package.

23. Holly VilaJuly 9,2024 at 2:39PM UTC

    I was just in the same situation. I started looking for a job, but honestly couldn’t find one outside the profession I was in. (I didn’t want to go from the frying pan into the fire.). I finally just had to quit. My mental health was in a bad way bc of that job. Although I am unemployed, I am feeling so much better - especially my self confidence.

    if you can afford it, leave that job. It’s not worth all the stress and mental health you are losing.

24. AnonymousJuly 10,2024 at 12:23PM UTC

    very true about self confidence. Over time, a job like this will completely tear you up.

25. Jonna Ferguson, ACCJuly 9,2024 at 6:12PM UTC

    Many of us have been there at some point in our careers. We also tend to think we're doing a LOT more damage than we're actually doing when making mistakes, so try to relax, give yourself grace and do the best you can.

    Having an "honest" conversation with your boss is the right step, but this doesn't mean you spill your guts in one meeting and go from "What additional training do you suggest?" to "Please give me a package." If your boss is a good leader, they'll help you learn, be productive and grow. Ask them for a 1:1 meeting to give you feedback about how you're doing. Try saying something like, "I strive to do great work and I'm not feeling as confident as I'd like when managing [these specific processes]. Is there additional training, job shadowing, mentoring or support available that will help me strengthen my skills?" If your leader doesn't give you feedback you were hoping for or doesn't offer suggestions, you could also ask, "What's one thing I'm doing well that I should continue, and one thing I should consider improving?" Be engaged, ask questions and at the end of the conversation, thank your boss for their time, tell them you'll apply what they suggested if they gave you suggestions, and ask if it would be ok if you scheduled another meeting with them in 2-3 weeks to follow up. Then, follow up! If things haven't changed in a few weeks, in your next meeting give your leader specifics about what you're still struggling with and if they have additional advice, then consider elevating the conversation from there.

    Opening communication often does wonders and you may receive all of the help and stress relief you're looking for. If you don't, then you'll have learned this may not be the environment or role for you and you can begin looking for your next opportunity with confidence while considering your strengths and values that are most important to you.

    Breathe... and you've got this!

26. Christi LopezJuly 10,2024 at 12:42PM UTC

    I second all of this. Excellent response.

27. Beverly J GoldrupJuly 10,2024 at 2:05AM UTC

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Could you possibly find a position that is either hybrid or remote? An honest talk is a good idea, but are you ready to leave your position? Maybe you could ask your boss to cut your hours? I hope all goes well for you.

28. AnonymousJuly 10,2024 at 12:22PM UTC

    hello and so sorry you're going thru this. I've experienced this emotion only twice in my life but both times, I ended up resigning. There really wasn't another option for me. You didn't tell us how long you've been with this company...and how long you're been doing this type of work, but that information makes a difference in terms of what I would advise you. If you've been there 5/10 or more years, and were recently assigned new tasks that feel overwhelming, then the discussion with your boss is well grounded. If you've been there a month, 6 months, a year...and you're just not clicking with this position (and you've never really settled into the work, it's too much, etc)- then I would not discuss with the boss and instead, look for a new position. How long have you been with this employer? I don't think a severance package would be offered in most circumstances.

29. AnonymousJuly 10,2024 at 12:34PM UTC

    Don't tell your boss you want to leave. Tell your boss you're struggling and would like to identify ways to improve your performance. Take training and obtain new certifications in an area you're interested in -- and then look for a new job in silence. Tell no one anything, until you have accepted a position and have a new start date. Begin working for your resume, not your boss, not your company.

30. AnonymousJuly 10,2024 at 5:28PM UTC

    I once was in your shoes. I told my boss i would stay through the summer ( our busy time, I didnt want to abandon him during the busiest time of the year) but that I would probably want to take on a different role or leave in the fall. 48 hours later, he fired me. Don't under any circumstances tell them you want to leave.

31. AnonymousJuly 10,2024 at 7:40PM UTC

    You can certainly talk to your boss and let him/her know honestly what is going on. Just make sure that if you do that, you are ready to leave immediately. He may try to work with you, or just let you go. I've been in your position, and there was a limit to how long I could continue that way. I'd only been there 3 months, so I didn't ask for severance. I don't know how long you've been at this job or what severance they would offer. Just be prepared to leave immediately if you confide in your boss.

32. AnonymousJuly 10,2024 at 7:53PM UTC

    Another option you may be able to request is to change to a different job within the company. I was able to request this based on the ADA, claiming that there were health reasons that I could not work the original job. They eventually began this process, but I did not follow through.