6 months ago, one of my direct reports launched a claim against me with Employee Relations that I was treating them unfairly.

Anonymous

March 9,2023 at 1:56PM UTC

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6 months ago, one of my direct reports launched a claim against me with Employee Relations that I was treating them unfairly. Backstory: The employee was severely underperforming and was on the brink of being put on a performance plan. I consulted with HR every step of the way and provided the person many rounds of feedback, including steps to improve. The employee was upset I viewed them as underperforming and a couple of weeks after a serious sit down, they launched the claim against me. The investigation was embarrassing for me, all of my peers were interviewed and I was humiliated this person had filed completely false claims. In the end, ER closed the case as being unfounded.

I am no longer with the organization (unrelated to this incident), but am still connected with the person on LinkedIn. I no longer want to be connected with them in any way and really want to disconnect on LinkedIn. I am not sure what’s stopping me. I feel like I’m being petty by disconnecting and even blocking this person. They are toxic, to put it lightly and I want them nowhere in my life. Am I being petty to cut all ties? Or am I right in doing so?

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AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 2:05PM UTC
I try to cut ties with anyone who is toxic, business or personal. Period.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 2:47PM UTC
I left a toxic work environment in 2021. I blocked nearly everyone from that company both on LinkedIn and Facebook. And I started blocking the looky-loos who I felt were nosy and trying to figure out where I moved to. It's not petty - it's setting boundaries.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 2:48PM UTC
You are absolutely NOT being petty; I have done the same thing with someone at my past employer. Life is short and if that person is not bringing joy or fun into your life there is no harm in closing the door for good. You come first.
angelkittenMarch 9,2023 at 3:03PM UTC
Nothing wrong with unfriending/blocking! It’s your life & you are the captain of your ship. I had to do it in 2019 after getting laid off along with several others I barely spoke to. Some were trying to snoop on my linked in to see if I’d found another job yet, one even called me & left a condescending voicemail “you haven’t found work yet? That’s too bad you must be almost out of money now”. Best believe I blocked her!
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 3:17PM UTC
First, sorry you had to experience such a situation.
Yes, you are right in doing so. If removing them as a connection ( while you're at it don't forget to unfollow ) will help you keep them and the frustrating ordeal, "out of sight and out of mind," by all means do so. One of the perks of LinkedIn is that when you remove a connection the recipient is NOT made aware of it.
I remember leaving a company that did its best to let me go for underperforming but was unable to and once I left. I not only disconnected but blocked all my colleagues because they kept doing this creepy thing of visiting my page every month or so. It was as if they were trying to keep "tabs" on me to see where I worked after them and I refused to let them have that insight.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 3:22PM UTC
There is only one person I have ever completely blocked, and that was because they were attacking me directly. After calling me out several times with toxic comments and accusations, I had enough. For others that I find toxic, I prefer to know where they are and who and what they are saying than to block them, and it is all in a vacuum I cannot see (some family members fit this description). The only reason I blocked the person was the direct attacks, which were detrimental to my mental health. Unless I see something I must address, I scroll past it for all the others. Only you can decide which is better for you.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 3:34PM UTC
You absolutely need to disconnect!!! Potential hiring managers often check for mutual connections to do a behind-the-scenes reference check. They are the last person you want talking about you.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 3:55PM UTC
I believe in inviting and maintaining ONLY positive people in every area of my life. You may want to adopt the same strategy as it frees up your energy and head space and reduces the negative energy around you.
I would never allow toxicity to take up space in my life. It makes no sense.
There is no "bigger person" gain here. There is only a door mat.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 4:56PM UTC
I would encourage you to block this person and try to release the understandable frustration. Something similar happened to me. I had an underperforming employee. Everyone complained about her. My boss saw it too. I worked with HR. Starting putting more expectations on the employee to increase accountability. Employee reacted emotionally and made me out to be some kind of bully. I wasn’t. Neither boss nor HR had my back. I left and it’s been a long process to release the anger and negativity. You don’t need to see this person popping up in your feed. You can only have relationships based on trust. That trust is gone so no need to stay connected.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 5:43PM UTC
A few years ago, I worked for a toxic and abusive company. I’ve happily blocked all of the problematic people from that company on LinkedIn and any other social media. I don’t want them to know what I’m up to and it’s better for my mental health to not be able to look at their sites. Unfollow and block away!
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 6:27PM UTC
Just hit the block button. Trust me, it feels so good. By disconnecting, you still give yourself permission to view their profile, and them yours. Blocking will not allow that. If anything, I'm very happy to hit the block button.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMarch 9,2023 at 7:22PM UTC
You do you. If you don't want to be connected to them, then cut them lose and don't give it another second of bandwidth in your brain.
Audrey KirschMarch 9,2023 at 7:26PM UTC
Disconnect as soon as possible. You don't need negative people in your life. She's not likely to ever be a resource for any future work opportunity so no need to be connected.
AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 8:08PM UTC
Suffering is a choice, why on earth would you remain connected to this person? I promise you, the LinkedIn Police won't come after you if you sever ties.
AnonymousMarch 10,2023 at 12:46PM UTC
One of my concerns is to why you know about those conversations in the first place. They should have protected their conversations in then in turn it would have protected you. These cases happen all the time as people's perceptions come into play. The confidentiality needs to paramount. Just unconnect with them on LI. Moving forward is so healthy. Grow from that experience and be the best you!. Block don't block, it's not really going to matter. It's how you go from this point on with not allowing that interrupt your mindset in future. You got this!
AnonymousMarch 10,2023 at 1:21PM UTC
this is simple block disconnect. Don’t read any of the communications. If you’re done you need to be done without social media. It doesn’t seem like they’ll be any connection and if this individual calls you, you can block the calls as well.
Gwendolyn Price-WhiteMarch 10,2023 at 2:32PM UTC
What is your actual connection to this person? The fact that you say they are "toxic" in your comments should automatically let you know this person is not right for you in your life. Is letting go of someone who threatened your livelihood worth staying connected?
Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachMarch 10,2023 at 2:52PM UTC
Totally ok to disconnect and/or block. It may take a while for them to even notice. I'm surprised they haven't disconnected from you!
I don't see this as petty, rather an action that is for your peace of mind and self-preservation. It's a small world and having this person in your online network will do you no favors.
AnonymousMarch 10,2023 at 5:24PM UTC
BLOCK! I had the same situation; following the employee's exit (our department and HR heaved a HUGE sigh of relief), they stalked me on LinkedIn, sent me hate letters. I blocked this person. Just block.
Annetta MosesMarch 11,2023 at 1:39AM UTC
Cut all ties. Life is short and you need to take care of you.
On the performance end, you followed procedures and kept HR informed. You should be proud of the work you did to 1) document poor performance, likely why HR closed the case and 2) coach an employee to perform better.
I applaud what you did.
Tara StepanianMarch 11,2023 at 1:23PM UTC
Make yourself the priority and move on.
AnonymousMarch 11,2023 at 1:44PM UTC
Never feel ashamed to remove anyone from your social media sites because they do not need to know your future business endeavors. That is also another reason why you should remove them, you don't want her knowing where you will be working. Best of luck to you! :)
AnonymousMarch 11,2023 at 2:02PM UTC
So obviously the person that reported you didn't know the deck is stacked against them as HR will always side with management and protect the company from lawsuits.
They don't give a doodly squat about employee's rights or working conditions. Remember they get paid to discredit the employee and its their lively hood on the line Very few will do the right thing verses verses covering their own **ses, If they can scrape by and turn the other check and not get too involved they will. Is this site polluted with HR reps or something? The comments are very telling.
Rhonda RoyalMarch 11,2023 at 2:23PM UTC
Please know that an employee and employer see work situations differently, having a number of years as an employee (at the same comp.) feels to me that 'said' employee was worthy of staying there. But as a Mgr. or Director of a 'severely underperforming' employee, I'd strongly recommend that they consider leaving the comp., your assistance isn't improving the matter. 'Work is Work,' but to go about 'routinely; improving this workers performance, only puts them 'on the HOT seat'. Separate from this person on your Linkedln page (and every other social media page)from and move on, it's the best thing.
GirlBossanova934974March 11,2023 at 2:35PM UTC
Not so sure what the problem is here........You go into LinkedIn and take this person off your list of Connections. One push of a button and it is done. You will never have to hear from them again. When I left my former company in 2018, I removed many of my coworkers off my LinkedIn Connections as it was embarrassing to watch them try and do my former job. In mid 2021, the company reduced its workforce by 30% to stay alive. The people that had claimed they could do it so much better, hadn't quite been up to the job. Good riddens!
AnonymousMarch 11,2023 at 2:47PM UTC
Block the person and move on with your life.
AnonymousMarch 11,2023 at 6:16PM UTC
Definitely not, block them! Though blocking them removes them completely so you wont be able to see where they go and then before you make moves if you travel in the same circles you should use the google search, their name and the word linkedin to see where they are. Then you won't be likely to ever end up in an organization where they are. Then let it go and move on. Clearly they were lodging the complaint in advance of being put on a PIP to save their own hide. Thankfully you were unharmed except for in spirit. Don't let it ruin your legacy you did the right thing.
Liz MilneMarch 12,2023 at 2:05AM UTC
Oh good grief, just block them! Or ignore them, if you can.
Whichever process you choose, you KNOW you did the right thing and offered as much help as you could, and that they refused it all!
What I'm saying is you've given them more than enough of your headspace: do whatever you need to do to move on from what sounds like a deeply unpleasant experience. I would cut ties and not look back or give it another thought...
AnonymousMarch 13,2023 at 12:21PM UTC
It's okay to feel angry and bitter towards this person. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way or taking the steps to remove them from your sphere. Do what you feel is right for you to settle your mind and your emotions. Then you can let go of their negativity and move on to better things.
Grace SkaggsMarch 13,2023 at 7:16PM UTC
I won't remain connected to those on LinkedIn that I would not want to work with, or feel comfortable putting in a good word for. I assume that the connections that I see means that good working relationships exist. I wouldn't want to be connected to anybody that others would assume this about.