I have a situation that I’ve never experienced in all my years of working. I was pushed to hire a very young, inexperienced person and mentor them into the position. They do not take direction and make a lot of mistakes. Over the past months, this person has taken my work and claimed it as their own. It should be obvious that someone in their very first job would not have the experience to do this. I have now come to find out that they reported to HR that I hit them. This is a blatant lie. HR and my boss have now turned on me.

32 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 2:39PM UTC

   Only speak to them with a witness. Take notes and document these events and you might want to start looking for a new job. Because this is not going to stop. She has support.

2. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 2:42PM UTC

   I'm sorry you're going through this. There's a lot to unpack.

   Here are general suggestions:
   -Document everything (going forward and from the past).
   -Make sure you have copy of key communications at work and BCC your personal email if you need to track it.
   -I'd suggest terminating the mentorship. Document it.If they still report to you, distance yourself, do not give advice or share personal info. keep it task oriented- determine if you should work with them with the "hitting" claim.
   -I'd claim any work that was yours - in writing (though it may be difficult to prove or become a they said/ they said type of argument that some managers just don't want to tackle). It comes down to allegations and proof. There's lots of online tips on how to claim work (in writing or verbally in a meeting--in clever ways).

   -The abuse claim is serious. Seek an employment lawyer for advice. Did HR bring it to your attention? If so, what is their protocol? They should be investigating it and possibly separating the two of you until they find something out. If they're managing that, good. If they are not, take it upon yourself to not be alone with this direct report- for everyone's safety. Do not gossip or seek friendly support at work. If you must continue working with the direct report (first of all you do not have to)...Have meetings in open areas, have other team members present, conduct meetings virtually, follow up with emails of agenda, discussions, agreed tasks, etc. ---or, esp. if you feel this way, find a way to not work with them. You can consider your options regarding how to play this. It's possible HR is trying to minimize things. So, definitely figure out your options from a lawyer. If you are starting to see your work load change or be punished, know that they are likely on a path to get rid of (what they consider to be) the problem.

   If you feel the company is turning against you, it could be office politics (and just a few folks), or it could be something else. Talk with a lawyer to get their advice. If you can move within the company, good. Sometimes other managers make the world of difference. If you have to leave, you should prepare to do so.

   Until then, clock in and clock out, rise above it however you can. Speak when necessary, no more. Seek support outside of work (through friends, hobbies, therapist, etc.). Sleep and eating habits are key too. All of this is being disrupted. Seek advice. There's lots of free advice e.g. online- article from Harvard Business Review, LinkedIn, etc. about what to do when your direct report is bullying you, being undermined, or those types of topics. Some of their advice may include to speak directly with the person to "seek to understand." That may or may not work, esp. if they're manipulative. But, read the articles. They'll give info.

   On a personal note, I have been pushed into change in my career life too. Sometimes you're being pushed out of a toxic environment. Do what you can to learn from the experience, grow, and let go/leave if you must. While the abruptness, upheaval, hurtfulness can seem like an avalanche of bad, I can assure you, leaving a bad situation is a relief. I'm not saying that's your situation. I'm offering that staying somewhere bad when it hurts you is not a good idea. Fly.

   Be well. I hope the truth will out and the best will come forward.

3. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 3:24PM UTC

   Thank you! Wonderful advice. I would have thought this bogus claim would be investigated. However, after HR and my boss have denied my request for a conversation on the matter, I doubt they are. Don’t you speak with the accused in an investigation?

4. maria roseJune 17,2024 at 3:51PM UTC

   In your training/ mentoring this specific individual that you stated was a requested hire, have you been doing documentation on their progression of their abilities to do the work requirements. You did state that they don’t take direction well and has a poor performance with mistakes. There’s absolutely no reason why you wouldn’t have done the in your mentoring both verbal and written documentation of their performance. From your description of the situation, you are in the supervisor position over them and you have by statement to this post been working for the company prior to the special hire of this employee. So there’s absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t have been documenting this individual’s journey b performance. I don’t know what should be the best way forward if you haven’t been documenting but you should definitely make some kind of documentation of their actual performance based on your experience dealing with training and mentoring them so far. Someone wanted this person hired into the company but it should not be at the expense of you losing your position. Protect your reputation by doing your job and if you are getting any impression that you are training your replacement with this underachieving individual, then start looking for ways to get another position with a company who values your worth .

5. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 7:03PM UTC

   Sounds like a hand picked relative or girlfriend with a privileged attitude. She will be protected.

6. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 7:44PM UTC

   Get an employment attorney, advise your supervisor, and HR and never ever be alone with this person. The new employee should be removed from your management, or terminated. Keep us posted and good luck!

7. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 7:48PM UTC

   If there was no touching at all, then the employee is lying. If you lightly touched them, the employee probably has a history of this. Like you, I've worked for almost 40 years and honestly, people will lie cheat and steal. Hope all of this works out and do let us know!

8. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 8:12PM UTC

   I never ever touched this person - not even a hand shake! Their bad behavior was well documented to HR BEFORE this accusation. The fact that HR and my boss won’t speak with me about this is beyond baffling.

9. Maggie SoldanoJune 17,2024 at 11:38PM UTC

   Nothing like a little gaslighting at work. Yikes. Thats super frustrating. I would solicit the advice of a labor law attorney. You are in a protected class and have rights.

10. Taylor PetersJune 18,2024 at 12:42PM UTC

    Agree, it's one thing to try to nudge you out but to ruin their reputation on the way is a whole other story. Not acceptable.

11. AnonymousJune 18,2024 at 11:02AM UTC

    Get an attorney and get out. The fact that they believe this person does not speak well for them, but since it affects you, anything you say at this point is going to be disregarded and your word against this new "golden haired child". Also line up personal references who know you would NEVER hit anyone.

12. DeborahJune 18,2024 at 12:24PM UTC

    I believe this may not only be a handpicked protected person, but also that they may be there to assist in pushing you out of your job. Many companies prefer younger employees and do not appreciate the experience someone 60+ provides.

13. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 2:09PM UTC

    I’m curious to know if the person hired was in a protected class! Of course, being 60+ is also a protected class. The claim of violence is quite shocking, tbh. This can be a life altering accusation! If there’s no record of assault or violence or confrontation from the OP during her employment, and she is ultimately fired based on that accusation, both the company and the accuser can be held civilly liable for defamation. This becomes a very serious matter to navigate in the initial process if both the company and new employee are in-cahoots in some way; that the new employee has an outside relationship or influence with some company leadership. Hiring an attorney should be the OPs first move, and also, finding her allies who will back her up. Allies who will also silently report back to her attorney if the company redirects harassment-level operations towards them or offers “bonuses” for unusual tasks or promotions.

14. Taylor PetersJune 18,2024 at 12:51PM UTC

    Definitely reach out for legal advice. Falsely accusing you of assault is not only incredibly damaging but psychotic. If we are already at that point with this person it will only get worse. I would take the report and speak to an attorney. If anything a letter might be enough. Other than that you have to just be professional and not give any outside viewers any reason to think you are the problem. If they are truly horrible they will hang on that. If they want to take your credit and they are inexperienced it is going to eventually blow up in their face.

15. Cassandra RyderJune 18,2024 at 1:47PM UTC

    Until you leave, document everything. My advice is to limit discussions with the new hire, and cc: you superior on all emails with them. This should dispel any myths about taking credit for their work.

    Alternatively , you can step aside’ on the next assignment, stating that your new hire should take the lead on the next project and you will serve as mentor- this should be accepted by the group as it appears that’s what they want. Then watch the emails flow into you with questions. Cc any answers you provide but I suggest your responses be as vague as possible but positive- ex: ‘’ use the same procedure you used on X project (your work), everyone loved it.’
    Let’s see how the next project goes.

    If you feel things are too far gone and they have decided to replace you, this won’t work. Consult an atty for age discrimination.

16. Krissy SmithJune 18,2024 at 2:30PM UTC

    All of the responses I’ve read so far are great! What state are you in? I ask bc TX is a one person agreement for recording things. I’m a teacher and I had students record me thinking it would get me in trouble. But after talking to my Admin and looking up the state law, I turned it on them and started recording THEM. I explained that I would hate for their parents to not see the WHOLE truth about what takes place in my classroom, so I’m recording it to give them a better understanding of what happens in here on a daily basis. They never tried it again after that. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire. Document EVERYTHING! And if you must be alone,, be out in a public space and record the conversation if you can. As for the hitting allegation? I would get an attorney for sure. I’m not one that would take that lying down! I might even video any training and explain that you would hate for any misconstrued information getting out there. And want everyone to know the type of training you are providing.

17. AnonymousJune 18,2024 at 2:51PM UTC

    Ugh, I completely admire the way this generation speaks up at work and see the value of their work, but there are a few that enter in the corporate environment without any notion of profesional conduct and respect. Recently happened with a new hire in my company and was also a gossiper about things he doesn’t even have the details.

    My suggestion would be, give them all the instructions in written. If you will teach them about something, prepare a handout. Keep evidence that you are doing your part.

    Save your evidence when you create the documents, usually in organizations you know who is the author.

    If you live in a one person consent state, record your meetings. If you don’t, ask to meet in teams and use the meeting recording in teams. If they ask, is a protection for both of you. Is horrible to live hyperaware, but seems like is a danger in every work environment at this point and documenting everything is important.

18. AnonymousJune 18,2024 at 3:17PM UTC

    Exact same thing happened to me, the younger person pushed me out, was promoted multiple times and continues to take credit for everything.

    Get out, it is not worth the mental anguish that they will continue to give you and that your company will allow them.

    I realize why people want to work with who they like - it's treacherous out there.

19. Focused721350June 18,2024 at 3:31PM UTC

    Good Morning,

    Oh no! The old person card they're playing! Not good! It seems to me they are setting you up to fall BIG TIME! I assume they are doing this to have their cake and eat it too! That old saying! No pun Intended. ;) Out with the Old and in with the New. I would document everything and get a lawyer. But! Keep this to yourself. I personally wouldn't put up with it. You deserve respect and not all this lying DRAMA!!!!

    Good Luck and God Bless!

    Ms. T who is now 63! ;)

    PS: GIVE THEM HECK FOR WHAT THEY'RE DOING......

20. Nadia Ibrahim-Taney, MS. MA. M.Ed.June 18,2024 at 6:38PM UTC

    Document everything and put watermarks on anything you produce and or make documents read only. Make it impossible for someone to steal what you do. Lastly, start building your case against them, because it sounds like they are already building one against you...

21. Karen P. StoreyJune 18,2024 at 7:17PM UTC

    ITS NOT WHAT YOU ARE EATING - ITS WHAT'S EATING YOU! THE BEST WAY TO ESCAPE THE PROBLEM IS TO SOLVE IT. DON'T PUT UP WITH THE "crapola" FROM THE

    PERSON. TERMINATE THEM.

22. AnonymousJune 20,2024 at 12:25PM UTC

    If the person has already made a formal HR complaint, terminating them is a terrible idea because it looks like retaliation. If she terminates the employee (even assuming she has the authority to), the termination will simply be rescinded by a higher up.

23. AnonymousJune 18,2024 at 10:32PM UTC

    I hate to say this but is sounds like their plan was to have you teach and train this individual to learn and do your job. then create an hostile environment to push you out or conspire to find a reason to fire you. If I were you, I would start looking for other employment. With you wealth of knowledge and experence , there's a company that will value and appreciate you. Leave your boss and HR up a creek without a paddle.

24. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 2:30PM UTC

    Ive just seen this happen recently. a seasoned worker trained two staff members and then once they were trained they fired her and they split her responsibilities between the two new employees.

25. Sandy PochapinJune 19,2024 at 2:47PM UTC

    Get an attorney immediately!

26. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 7:09PM UTC

    She's someone's daughter or girlfriend. She feels entitled. Maybe even to your job. Prepare yourself legally because these scenarios seldom turn out well.

27. AnonymousJune 19,2024 at 8:21PM UTC

    Yes, this happens when a hand picked candidate is forced on someone. It signals your days are numbered. I hate that this happens but it is a reality in certain companies.

28. AnonymousJune 20,2024 at 1:11PM UTC

    High probability that the employee is a C-level's niece/nephew or friend/neighbor's kid. Many times middle management vastly overestimates how much the C-level actually cares about the individual and they are put them on a pedestal in an effort to manage up. I would figure out how this person got the job. Then I'd approach the Exec that got them in. Good chance they are appalled and help you remedy the situation. There is also a good chance you get fired but it sounds like you may be on that path anyway. Very sorry that you are going thru this.

29. AnonymousJune 22,2024 at 1:09PM UTC

    I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I am in the situation. After I was put in charge to interview applicants, I recommended someone younger, never worked in the field, did data entry, but did not really did the work. After talking about one co worker's badly and her history, I thought her and would get along. That changed quickly. It turned around quickly. She went to the owners and accused me about everything you can imagine. Took my customers etc. I am the same age then you. This is the "New Work environment " The question I asked myself, Do I stay? What is more important my mental health? Do I need this at my age? If the boss takes their side, then they do not value me. Is it worth it. The hard part and reality is, will I get another job? To my surprise I got a job offer yesterday. One door closer another one opens. I wish you all the best and hope you will make the right decision.

30. AnonymousJune 23,2024 at 1:22PM UTC

    The person was hired to push you out. You are in your 60s. They want you to retire.

31. maria roseJune 23,2024 at 7:49PM UTC

    Since the OP has added some information about this situation—( their age) this definitely makes the situation a form of ageism discrimination which we know is illegal and covered by labor laws in most locations but is one of the hardest lawsuits to achieve satisfaction compensation because it comes down to that ( who said what when issue) . At this stage of this OP’s work career they should be more concerned with getting the best compensation to phase out of this job without losing any retirement benefits that they would have earned. I know being in your 60s doesn’t mean you are necessarily ready to retire early or be pushed out to pasture but you need to remove your emotional state from the equation. You, the OP, probably have a good high enough salary paycheck that replacing you with a newly hired ( let’s not discuss the performance level of newer hire) that makes financial sense ( very temporarily) for the company. I recommend that the OP here should seriously consider putting in their retirement notice and discuss the process for applying for this ASAP before the company moves forward to just fire the OP and they lose out on their retirement benefits Don’t even fight for the chance too continue working there, if this company, obviously, only views the value of this employee by the cost factor of their paycheck. Let the company continue on their path of self destruction and just get out with as much retirement benefits as possible. And if this OP wants to continue working, find another place to work but without losing those very important retirement benefits earned Do this ASAP, even if you, the OP retire tomorrow. Walk out with your head held high

32. AyianJune 24,2024 at 12:56PM UTC

    I have taken the policy to never, ever train people without a significant pay increase to do so if I'm not already in a training position. Whether that's encroaching on my position or taking time away from my other duties, it's more often a pain than a joy and I will be compensated for increasing the value of that employee.

    For short term issues, start saving your files as read only with a password so that when you are sending documents that others don't need to chime in on, you can sign off without the young person taking credit. Also, start calling them out on it every time they do. It doesn't have to be dramatic. Something like "actually, that was my work" is enough.

    Document everything and, if legal in your state to record someone in a conversation with you, record your interactions. Do your best to communicate with them in writing, even if it's just to reiterate a conversation you had (eg: as we discussed...) so you have a written record of goings on. Forward those interactions to your personal email weekly.. This isn't intended to fix anything, just to give you legal standing if/when HR gets further involved.

    And stop training that person without a pay raise.