Are they asking too much?

21 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 31,2024 at 4:25PM UTC

   Not sure I understand your question. But a good rule of thumb is, whomever is the lead, sets the tone. It sounds like they look for you to lead. Not sure. It would be nice if you sent a meeting request to get ready for your quarterly. Send an Outlook invite to prep, then an Outlook invite for the quarterly meeting. Well over 30 grown men and women cannot keep their schedules and request meeting requests. I note on my calendar but I'm also very organized and a lot of folks are not. Hope that helps some?

2. AnonymousJuly 31,2024 at 5:13PM UTC

   As in everything in my life, I pick my battles carefully. I don't evaluate everything little ask.

   If it's a hardship or very impactful then I say no and battle it out. Otherwise, I save my peace and do everything I can to help those around me. Is it politically correct? But does it make my life easier and work peacefully? Absolutely. But this is just me. I don't sweat the small stuff. Ever.

3. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 7:10PM UTC

   Agreed here, especially if it benefits you and your team, even a little bit. Pick your battles and don't sweat it. :)

4. AnonymousJuly 31,2024 at 5:48PM UTC

   A simple solution would be to just send out a calendar reminder - maybe even a recurring reminder.

5. AnonymousJuly 31,2024 at 5:51PM UTC

   Is it your responsibility to consolidate this data to send to upper management? If so, then its reasonable to ask that you send a reminder a week out so your quarterly meeting is most productive.

   If this is NOT your responsibility to consolidate the info for the big bosses, then either direct these people to the correct POC or forward their calendaring task to them.

   I agree with someone else: not sure I'd go to the mat on this one. Some of this admin stuff is a drag but it's also a tremendous opportunity to show leadership.

   I was recently assigned to a short term project and one of my biggest assets to this work group is that I'm great at meeting recaps, assigning tasks, calendaring, feeding into a Teams channel, etc. I'm an Executive Director with a MBA at a large financial services institution. Are these admin tasks the best use of my time...probably not. But I've jumped in feet first b/c I can show tremendous value, very quickly. I've been lauded for my leadership on this project because I've been able to move a group of people ahead very fast.

   For reference, I'm also a woman in my 50s. Consider the path of least resistance, it might be a fit for this situation.

6. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 1:00PM UTC

   Not clear on your role with the group just the task. You could suggest that they all put a reminder on their own calendars and ask if you would like me to show you how to do it, I can. Depends, IMO, your relationship with the group and role. If you are in that type of role to be the organizer and admin, then yes, set it up.

7. GirlBossanova934974August 1,2024 at 1:02PM UTC

   Frankly, this project sounds like a low priority item to executive leadership. If the folks providing the inputs have to be reminded that they need to get their work in a week before the report goes out, how important can this be? I would send them a quick 2 sentence email two weeks before the report goes to executive leadership. I would be working on much more important projects.......

8. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 1:07PM UTC

   I’m also a 50 something woman who works with all men. And yes grown men should be able to remember to do this themselves.

   But if I was responsible for turning out the report, I would go ahead and set a reminder to go out automatically.

9. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 1:21PM UTC

   I would need to know your role in the collaboration to better answer this question. I work in project mgmt but I've also done administrative work.

   If your the coordinator /asst/or any like role then yes this is your responsibility. However if these are your professional peers (meaning you are equal in the professional hierarchy) then it's ok that they ASK but u shut that ish down at that moment! U r not their babysitter.

   Even as an admin it's as simple as creating a reminder on their calendar then moving on with ur other tasks. I wouldn't lose sleep over it ??‍♀️

10. ReachingGoalsAugust 1,2024 at 1:39PM UTC

    I would absolutely put a meeting request on their calendars. In fact, i do this now

11. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 2:49PM UTC

    If you’re their admin assistant or the project manager/leader, then yes, that’s part of your job. You can make it easy on yourself and set up a recurring appointment.

    If you’re a peer, and they’re only asking you because you’re the woman in the room (and you probably know if this is the case), I’d gently suggest they know how to set calendar reminders.

12. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 2:51PM UTC

    I Completely Understand and Sympathize With Your Sentiments. However, unfortunately if you are responsible for the output and it’s not done on time fingers will point to you. If you use Outlook utilize the schedule message function have it send out a email reminder 2 weeks out. And then set a calendar invite one week out to meet to review. This really isn’t for them it’s for you, incase they drop the ball. It’s a paper trail showing you set milestones and attempted to review deliverables.

13. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 5:25PM UTC

    Why is this even a problem thing? do what you need to as this is clearly part of your role, and if you need to remind people, remind them. There is after all nothing worse that a meeting where folks are unprepared so it would seem a reminder to be prepared since the meeting is not core to their daily work is essential. Make it happen. If this doesn't work for you, perhaps find a new role in a company where everyone just knows what they are doing all the time. I suspect that doesn't exist.

14. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 11:19PM UTC

    I’’m the OP

    Yes. The platinum rule. Treat others the way *they* prefer to be treated. That’s pure LOVE.

    Thank you!

    What's the FBG take on turn the other cheek. If it happens again, hit back?

    Ala George W Bush: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?”

15. AnonymousAugust 2,2024 at 7:02PM UTC

    I think it was ". . . .fool me twice, er, eh, u can't get fooled again." If you're quoting W

16. AnonymousAugust 3,2024 at 12:32AM UTC

    the OP is LOL ?

17. AnonymousAugust 2,2024 at 1:00PM UTC

    WOW - guess this hit you hard based on the reply. OP stated she is an equal. she is not the admin or the manager. They are all grown adults. You would think as such they could behave as such. IN the OP case, the other members of the team aren't and do not manage their time very well. They could just as easily create a reminder themselves, but want someone else to do it and babysit them. The OP is asking how best handle as they feel unduly burden with babysitting. While the OP didn't say this I bet the men are taking credit for all work and delivering on time.

18. AnonymousAugust 2,2024 at 3:49PM UTC

    Are you projecting that they take credit for her work? I simply said part of what the role that she is expected to deliver is tracking and keeping things on the track. If reminders are far too heavy of a task she should move to a role where she is not required to remind people of things that they are likely to forget. Frankly, there are not many of those even if you own your own business. I work in an operational role similar to hers so I am speaking from my own experience. Adults do need to be reminded, especially when the core of their job is not what she is tracking and managing for the whole team, sure they should know better but in many instances they don't. Taking the time for a reminder assures that no time is wasted in meetings with unprepared people who come without the proper information to participate in a meaningful way. Read my commentary as positive and as a let go let flow instead of your negative response which doesn't solve the angst she is putting on herself.

19. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 9:36PM UTC

    Yes, all grown adults should be able to set their own reminders. However, sounds like you are super organized, which is amazing. Set a reminder via Outlook. This as another poster said, leaves a "paper" trail. That way if someone misses the deadline, you can always say you helped with reminders. The onus then is on them. Grown men in their 30's are really still children. I'm in my late 50's and people my age can't set reminders or answer emails either.

20. AnonymousAugust 1,2024 at 11:13PM UTC

    I work in a mostly male industry (operations side of transportation) and no one prepares for anything until its on the screen. So i take the extra time to have pre meetings to the meetings so we can hit our timelines, and it isnt the big group meeting where these individuals show up and its the 1st time they have looked at anything and then question everything and slow it all down.

    The extra pre meeting to the meeting is extra time and work, but far far less than slowing everything down in a big meeting.

    They are getting used to it and very prepared now I feel, plus our small group time together has really helped our working relationship.
    Ask me before this new step happened I would have complained that come on we are adults and do your job. But looking back the cats are herded, the relationships are better and we are more on time and aligned than ever before!

21. AnonymousAugust 2,2024 at 2:42PM UTC

    Go with your gut. My answer is it depends on the environment. Sometimes, having a check in to clarify working styles/preferences can help (even after years of working with one another) . I once worked for a boss who made it clear everyone was responsible for their work and their scheduling of meetings- not to punt to the women to schedule- and to come prepared or offer an apology and reschedule. That really helped the team understand how we're in it together and not to give other teammates more work.Good luck.