Toxic work environment but feeling guilty about quitting since I am the only employee...

Anonymous

May 27,2022 at 9:01PM UTC

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Toxic work environment but feeling guilty about quitting since I am the only employee...

I have been working in a very toxic work environment for months now, where I am the only employee. I have never discussed the situation with my boss at all for fear due to her mental instability. I received a job offer which I am excited about taking, however I am having severe anxiety about quitting my toxic work environment due to the fact I am her only employee and it's going to blindside her when I hand in my resignation notice. Any thoughts, has anyone else experienced this before?

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AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 10:44PM UTC
If you are concerned about your physical safety I'd just leave the day you give notice.
Wait until the end of your last day to tell her.
AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 11:01PM UTC
If it is an at-will job you do not have to give notice. And for physical safety have someone meet you at work or be in a public place when you tell her you are leaving.
AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 11:18PM UTC
You need to put your mental health and wellness first. Give 2 weeks notice leave and don’t look back. People need to help themselves. If she is so unstable she should be self accountable and seek help and not use her single employee to take her issues out on. It’s ok to be selfish in these situations bc you deserve to be happy and valued
Amy EdmondsMay 27,2022 at 11:39PM UTC
This sounds like trauma bonding. Get out of there, and if you get this kind of feeling from toxic people in the future, there's more going on than stumbling into a bad situation. Good for you for recognizing you need to leave.
If you can leave everything in good shape for her or a tempt to pick up where you left off, then you've done all you are obligated to do.
AnonymousMay 28,2022 at 2:21AM UTC
A way to counter the shock is to offer a solid transition plan so you transfer out with a clean desk. Projects that have been well documented for the next person and comprehensive overview of your role and resources complete with important contact info, logins and direction on where to find everything either on the server, your laptop or in the office.
JJMay 28,2022 at 5:07AM UTC
You could just quit and never go back. People are too loyal to bad companies. Yes some may cry “unprofessional” to not give two weeks but most companies do not give two weeks when they lay people off and abusive bosses have not earned your undying loyalty. Just leave and take care of yourself.
EmmaMay 28,2022 at 7:14AM UTC
Yes, I was in the same position, couldn’t sleep when thinking of hanging my notice in! In the end though it all worked out and I’m so happy I did it! All the best!
Fernanda MartinezMay 28,2022 at 12:45PM UTC
You need to quit and take the new job. Her mental health or reaction is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is to take care of yourself.
AnonymousMay 28,2022 at 3:36PM UTC
Refer her to other people in your network and warn them the role is there only if it’s their last resort. There can be a win-win here for folks who are unemployed or out of workforce for some time and just need a way in for some time.
AnonymousMay 28,2022 at 3:47PM UTC
Quit!
I was in a toxic environment and it was not until I left it that I realized that I had what I now call 'Work Stockholm Syndrome' (I was identifying with my captors!).
In my case, my job was asking me to put my needs last so I was unwilling to realize that it is okay to have needs and wants too!
So let me tell you point blank: You have a right to have a healthy relationship with work and have zero obligation to help maintain a toxic relationship.
Leave and allow yourself to be happy!
Crystal HowellMay 28,2022 at 7:52PM UTC
Your life is more important, it is not your problem.
Give the standard 2 week notice, and move on don't look back. Don't enable her at all. If she closes down, then she shouldn't be in business. There is always virtual assistants.
Move on and love your new job.
Kris Mertins-ElliottMay 29,2022 at 1:07PM UTC
It is completely normal to have anxiety around submitting a resignation. Your current boss has created an abusive environment with her poor behavior, whether or not she's mentally unstable. The hardest part is ripping off the Band-Aid and having the confrontation. I promise you, once you do that, you will feel SO much better! Maybe even empowered! I wish you the best of luck! You got this!
Audrey KirschMay 29,2022 at 3:17PM UTC
No one is irreplaceable. There are many reasons why you could be unavailable to work. You could get I’ll or injured, have to care for a family member, etc. Fortunately, none of that applies. You are leaving to better yourself and your mental health. The boss may struggle for a minute but will soon replace you and will probably trash you in the process. Your guilt shows you are a good person but your boss is not worth you wasting another thought on.