DISCUSSIONS

I don't know what to do.

Maria image

Maria

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I don't know what to do.

A couple of years ago, I landed the job I currently have. I was so stressed out looking for a job,I didn't take the full time to read the job description (big mistake). To be honest I don't even remember applying for the position. I was so desperate that when I got called for the interview I went for it and I gladly got the position.

It turned out that it had a task I really didn't want to do (payroll) but being who I am I gave it a try even tho I hated it and it was messing with my head. Through out those first 18 months or so, I informed my boss about how I didn't think she hired the right person for the position. She, at the time, was saying she'll think about it for a solution and all.

Not getting anywhere I got fed up of doing payroll and I gave in my resignation after Christmas vacation, I couldn't take it anymore. It was making me sick and I kept making mistakes that weighed on me but my resignation was refused and eventually the payroll task got remove . Yay for me! I'm working at an awesome company with an awesome team. I love it. I couldn't be happier work wise. It's my soulmate place of work with great coworkers. but wait, I am now facing the same issue 3 years later. With another task which is to coordinate the social club. I don't have an inch of social aptitude in me. I hate it. I keep thinking about how I'm going to fail it and disappoint everyone. It never really bothered me before because there was a coworker that have always been part of the company social club. To me, he was my go to person and a pillar in that comity. I always felt like I was there to assist. Which I find that great but now that person has decided to quit the comity. There are other members (new members)thank goodness for them, but despite them I still feel the pressure working its way to my head and it's keeping me awake at night (like now, ha, ha). I can't, again, make it known that I want another task remove? Can I?

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  1. Anonymous

    Sure why not. Sounds like you're comfortable and only hate a certain task. Make your case.

  2. Anonymous

    Have you thought about putting the bulk of the work for the responsibilities on the social club members? Have them provide suggestions about locations/activities, and try and establish an event planning committee to help with logistics? It might also help to build interest if people feel they have a say in club events.

  3. Melissa Nobile

    Delegate delegate delegate!

  4. Evie Arnold

    Trying something new always puts us out of our comfort zone and into the hear zone - which is where I suspect you are. Before turning down the opportunity to chair the social committee, ask for the support you need to do it well and as others have indicated lean on the members for ideas and execution!

  5. Maria

    Yes, it's very or of my zone of comfort. I'll try to give it more ofa try.

  6. Anonymous

    Im curious, what does running the social club entail?

    What is the format? Do you meet at a
    bar and just speak freely? Are you seated in a room discussing a particular employee topic like… diversity and inclusion? What types of task does it involve?

    I run workshops that are both formal and informal all the time. My technique is to be “collaborative” and let other folks weigh in so the pressure isn’t all on me. I create the forum and guide the discussion but we come to group consensus. We vote anonymously on topics. And there are some admin tasks. I ask for a volunteer to send a few bullets after summarizing the convo.

    take a look at the toastmasters meeting format. I have been a member of toastmasters and it really helped improve my confidence in social / professional settings AND, learn how to structure meetings, presentations and simple conversations. I cannot recommend it enough. Your manager would support your membership
    fee. I can almost guarantee. Toastmasters is a tool
    to support you while you try something new. It give you practical tools and the environment to practice them.

    as a person with clinical anxiety, I have flourished thanks to the safe space of toastmasters. (I do not work for them and receive no benefit from this. Just a happy participant.)

  7. Anonymous

    While I understand the anxiety over doing payroll, as mistakes mess with people's livelihood, I'm not sure why organizing social functions would generate the same anxiety. What you describe here sounds a lot like imposter syndrome, which manifests as low self-esteem. You claim to have no "social aptitude," yet you have found ways and others to help prop you up in this role. You are using a vital skill called delegation. One of the best ways to make sure you can move to a new/better position is to ensure that someone can do what you do. Take those who like doing the social club, encourage them, and position them to do the task. Then, you can help them by suggesting they are better for the position than you are, and you can move on at that point.

  8. Maria

    I hear you and I do have very low-self esteem. I will try work with my colleagues from the social club comity. I do feel like I can't do this right but with their help I will get over it and help make things happen.

  9. Anonymous

    If you are running things then really it your job to delegate to other members. That is not a difficult task to manage. You get to be the person who doles out responsibility and then makes sure they get their tasks done.

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