I have a work problem that's causing me a great deal of anxiety, so any advice would really be appreciated.

27 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 18,2021 at 9:02PM UTC

   Can I ask why you would want to stay in a place where you don’t feel wanted

2. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 10:13PM UTC

   Up until the new owner appeared my job was ok, not perfect but bearable & I enjoyed my role. Of course I wouldn't want to stay now, it's an awful position to be in, but would rather leave on my terms than be ousted out in such an underhand way. There's much I haven't said, but I do intend to expose what this person has done, not just for my sake but for others that may experience the same.

3. BethBSeptember 21,2021 at 12:42PM UTC

   Please think again about “exposing” this person. You aren’t going to be protecting anyone. It makes nice revenge, but it doesn’t make good business, unless you are taking about whistle blowing for something highly illegal and even that has its risks. And emotionally, it keeps your head stuck in negativity and you mired in the past. If you want to leave on your own terms, get going on a job search. Wanting to leave because the new owner wants his own team is a legit and understandable reason. I’m not a lawyer and we don’t have all the
   Facts so I could be wrong—I’m not seeing where the legal issue is. Toxic workplaces suck. They also aren’t illegal. Your medical leave is over. And you walked out and stayed out a day without vacation, sick time or PTO.
   The former owner absolutely did you a favor. You were made aware of what would happen. In your shoes, I would have stayed and taken my paid leave as well.I don’t understand why you are surprised and hurt. You had the warning. That was your time to go on your own terms.
   Put your energy into putting yourself into a better position. Go back to the office although don’t be surprised if they don’t let you back in. Here is where a lawyer could be helpful, getting a settlement. He wants you gone with the least fuss and expense. You want to be gone with enough money and benefits to keep you afloat until your next job.

4. AnonymousSeptember 18,2021 at 9:17PM UTC

   First off, they don't have to reach out to you. They can claim job abandonment and replace you. How long has it been?

   You'll need to reach out for you final check and to ensure your benefits have not been canceled. You may want to speak with an attorney if they are not forth coming.

   Just to be clear his being rude and disrespectful is not against the law but you may be able to use it if he decides to fight your unemployment.

5. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 9:59PM UTC

   Thank you for your advice, and I walked out Friday so it's been the weekend. I'm looking to take legal advice tomorrow if I can.

6. Kristie WhiteSeptember 19,2021 at 1:04AM UTC

   First, did you get an approved FMLA? Employers with at least 50 employees are required to offer FMLA. There are rules for eligibility but your reason for being out of work is valid. And if granted, you typically have job protection for up to 12 weeks. If the company is too small, it sounds like the new owner is trying not to let you go too early because of an approved leave which could be grounds for wrongful term. And it is not your job abandonment, it is theirs. I would consult with an attorney or contact a governing agency to understand your rights. There are a lot of variables at play here.

7. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 9:54PM UTC

   Thank you Kristie, at present they employ less than 50. I am going to look at getting legal advice tomorrow.

8. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 2:14AM UTC

   Don't quit, let them fire you. But start looking.

9. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 9:51PM UTC

   Thank you, and yes I am looking.

10. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 11:35AM UTC

    If you want unemployment they will need to let you go. Even if they fight your unemployment, you'll have a better chance of appealing their denial.

11. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 9:50PM UTC

    Thank you for your advice, much appreciated.

12. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 4:49PM UTC

    If you walked out and haven't returned, you've quit. Was your leave over when that happened, or are you still on leave.

    Show up to work until you are fired. They will turn up the heat to get you to quit. Laugh it off! You want unemployment and any severance due.

    Low down for the previous owner to try to get you to quit. Not an ally.

13. AnonymousSeptember 19,2021 at 9:48PM UTC

    Thank you for your advice. My leave was completed, tbh I can't face the prospect of returning although I know I should. It's the unfairness of it all and there's a lot I haven't mentioned. I'm kicking myself as I've played right in to the hands of the new owner. I now realise that the previous owner was not an ally, which again hit me hard as I was so supportive & loyal towards her, which clearly counts for nothing, I can honestly say there has been no issue with my work until the new owner arrived. Just can't believe people can treat you this way & get away with it. I'm going to seek advice next week.

14. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 2:19PM UTC

    It sounds like you have some healing to do from this whole experience. May I suggest counseling?

15. Veronica Z. NievesSeptember 21,2021 at 3:02PM UTC

    This is a very important step before starting a new position with a new employer.

16. Beverly RuyleSeptember 20,2021 at 5:20PM UTC

    Time to dust off that resume.

17. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 12:25PM UTC

    You’ve basically quit your job. Update your resume and look elsewhere. You will always be looking behind your back and won’t mentally be able to give 100%. Time to look out for yourself by leaving. Good luck in your future endeavors!

18. Candace VelezSeptember 21,2021 at 12:30PM UTC

    Document, document, document ... it sounds like to goal to push you out so they don't have to provide a severance pay and if you quit you can't file unemployment. (You could try but it may be denied) look into EEOC laws such as failure to provide reasonable accommodations which in this case seems like would he the case. Unfortunately you can't file an eeoc claim for someone being mean but if you've legitimately been bullied under the scope of Race,religion, disability etc document EVERYTHING. Start looking for a new role it's a candidates market right now and make sure you check do not contact current employer. Some people just suck so my advice is play chess and not checkers.

19. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 1:03PM UTC

    Well... your former manager / company owner kind of warned you of this. It's a private company and they can pretty much do what they want and terms of hiring or firing at will unless you are being discriminated against some way but even then, these types of cases are extremely hard to prove and in the long run are rarely worth our time or money. I understand your desire to keep working and play this situation out. While you were off for a couple of months probably a lot of changes took place in the new company and they are finding a harder way to make you fit. I'm so sorry about this but again, your former manager tried to warn you of this as directly as possible. That warning was not personal and in fact was an act of compassion toward you to let you know what might be lying ahead. I really don't think there's anything you can do. You sound like a nice hardworking person and probably your best option is just to have a Frank I'm emotional discussion with the new owner. If there is no place for you, see if they are willing to give you a lay off instead of termination and at least you can collect unemployment until you find something

20. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 1:04PM UTC

    Sorry for typos. I meant unemotional discussion.

21. Jennifer AndersonSeptember 21,2021 at 3:32PM UTC

    While I completely agree with you about being warned, I would like it noted that when an employee self-terminates or is fired they are rarely eligible for unemployment. But if an employee is "laid-off" then they can collect unemployment. It feels to me like the original owner's "warning" could have been taken one of two ways. First, as a true warning because the owner was worried and wanted the employee to start looking to protect themselves. Alternatively, it could have been a method for the old owner to help the new owner to force the employee out so that they didn't have to go through either a firing or a layoff process. If the new owner has their own staff then assuming there are no work performance issues, they would need to lay the poster off and this would count against the company for unemployment insurance. It's so much easier on the company if the employee's simply quit...and cheaper for them too!

22. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 2:12PM UTC

    Walking out could be considered job abandonment. I would report back to work immediately but be prepared to find you’ve been terminated.

23. Diane WrenSeptember 21,2021 at 2:12PM UTC

    What you describe is terrible to have to go through. You might also try calling the department of labor (both federal and within your state) to find out what your options are, particularly as they relate to qualifying for unemployment compensation. If you possibly can, try to stay with the company until they either lay you off, or you find another employer. Note that one tactic they might use is to turn every little thing into an HR process. Remember that HR is there to keep the company running smoothly, bottom line. Do whatever you can to put up a lighthearted, professional face if at all possible - even if it means telling yourself that you are an actor, playing the part of someone who loves this place and this work environment. In the middle of this, try to reach out and build/maintain relationships with colleagues from your current and previous jobs. They can act as references even if you can't use your current manager. They can also help boost you up, and remind you of how capable you are in spite of whatever you might hear from your current employer. Good luck!

24. KathySeptember 21,2021 at 4:24PM UTC

    Since you walked out you have two choices . File for unemployment or go back to work and see if you still have a job.

    If the new owner wanted to replace you, it seems he would have fired or laid you off by now. Though as others indicated, he's hoping you will quit so he doesn't have to pay unemployment.

25. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 7:24PM UTC

    Look at it this way, say your friend is in a bad relationship and the flags are there that it's not a good situation. You know the other person is just riding out the benefits of the relationship but not in it for the long hual. Your friend is throwing themselves into this relationship and coming off a tad clingy. They can't seem to see what everyone else is seeing, a doomed situation.

    Now, you can ride out the inevitable release and hope for unemployment, or you can maintain your dignity and start looking for another job but not expect a reference from your current employer.

    It's a tough situation to be in but on the bright side, you had your surgery covered by insurance and you got time off to recover!

26. AnonymousSeptember 21,2021 at 8:53PM UTC

    I wouldn't be risking the hospital bills from having surgery because I thought someone wanted me to quit. Assuming they're in the US, that is.

27. Jennifer SlomaSeptember 22,2021 at 10:36PM UTC

    You have rights depending on how large the company is and what state you are in. Not every state is an "at will" state. Do some research, consult with the EEOC. There may be a case for discrimination since they knew you were going into the hospital for a medical reason. Is there documentation of them telling you of the intention to manage you out or was that a verbal exchange? First, stop telling people that. Document his behaviour as much as you can. STOP walking out. Don't let someone else's poor behavior affect your behavior. I don't have enough information to give your concrete advice but if you are still employed after you walked out, go back to work or you have NO rights. That's called abandonment and that's all on you. Have you been back since you walked out? How long has it been? Do you have a copy of you employee handbook?
    What are their employment policies? If you haven't been back, they are probably just waiting out the abandonment period before they fire you. Again, not enough info to give really helpful advice. I wish you luck!