Woman I work with has a pattern of not getting along with others whom she has to either share space with or most recently, needs to train in her duties.

13 Comments

1. Kathy SijanDecember 16,2025 at 2:13PM UTC

   AI helped me write out my thoughts:

   -Document everything Keep a written record of incidents, dates, and what was said. This protects you if things escalate.

   -Set boundaries with the coworker Stay professional, avoid gossip, and don’t engage in her drama. Keep interactions short and focused on work.

   -Be cautious with your boss Since confidentiality wasn’t honored, share only factual, observable details in the future—avoid opinions or speculation.

   -Frame responses neutrally If asked again, stick to objective statements like: “I saw X happen at Y time” rather than judgments.

   -Seek support if needed If her behavior continues to disrupt the workplace, consider HR involvement. HR exists to handle patterns of toxic behavior.

   -Protect your reputation Stay consistent, calm, and professional. Over time, others will notice the difference between your approach and hers.

2. CarolDecember 16,2025 at 2:43PM UTC

   Start looking for a new job, your environment sounds toxic.

3. AnonymousDecember 17,2025 at 1:43PM UTC

   Some of this is after the fact. I’d email the co-worker and cc the boss on everything.

   If you can’t work out a working agreement for a task, as the boss to clearly define it.

   I agree with others to look for other work if possible.

4. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdDecember 17,2025 at 2:18PM UTC

   Hello!

   I'm sorry that trust was broken. However, do you know for certain your boss told her it was you? He may have said a blanket statement and unfortunately she assumed (in this case correctly evidently) it was you.

   To begin, I would ask to speak to your boss. In that meeting I would explain what happened and say that the only conclusion you can come to is that your "confidential" comment wasn't confidential at all. I would tell him that she's gone to you telling you that he told her everything, which now has left you in an uncomfortable position.

   If you have an HR Department, I would go to them as well. What I would suggest not doing is confronting the coworker. If she approaches you again, you could say something like, "Confidential conversations are not up for discussion. I don't know what my boss said to you and it's none of my business. Nor is any conversation I have with him yours."

5. GirlBossanova934974December 17,2025 at 4:04PM UTC

   Excellent recommendation!

6. Brenda CrawshawDecember 18,2025 at 4:16PM UTC

   This. Speak to your boss, calmly and not accusing. People like the rotten one you are dealing with will often fabricate their stories in an attempt to try to identify sources. It may very well be that your boss did NOT share the information but that she's fishing with a clever and elaborate method. I have been there with these people - they are smart even if it is misdirected!

7. AnonymousDecember 18,2025 at 1:29PM UTC

   Go straight to HR and bypass your manager.

8. AnonymousDecember 18,2025 at 1:43PM UTC

   Document everything and go to HR. Understand though that with some of these toxic coworkers your HR might determine "its cheaper to keep her". In this case they likely have a mountain of complaints.

9. AnonymousDecember 18,2025 at 1:44PM UTC

   You are working alongside a covert narcissist - I dealt with one and after calling out her passive aggressive behaviors, she formed a work mob against me as she did with others. I would steer clear and document everything. Grey rock method the situation. As I discovered myself, my co-worker had several aces up her sleeve that management could never fully address her, as it would appear retaliatory. As such, be very careful with such conniving and vulnerable narcissists - they are deceptive and manipulative.

10. Kim PfeifferDecember 19,2025 at 3:59PM UTC

    Don't trust your boss anymore. Don't tell him anything you wouldn't say directly to her. In other words, don't think he's on your side.

11. AnonymousDecember 19,2025 at 10:38PM UTC

    This same post appeared on fairygodboss a couple of months ago.

    best advice: do not share any information with anyone at work that you don't want made public.

12. Kathy DonnaldDecember 22,2025 at 9:43PM UTC

    Human resources

13. AnonymousJanuary 9,2026 at 2:02PM UTC

    Document her actions if negative and involve HR or upper management. Clearly her immediate boss supports her actions and you might be next. Request being moved away from her and be vigilant in making everyone aware of her behavior towards you. Be prepared to fight if you have to.

    Sometimes these folks prevail at the cost of getting rid of good people. Fair? No. But does it happen? All the time.