I am extremely frustrated with work environment.

Anonymous

May 20,2023 at 1:21AM UTC

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I am extremely frustrated with work environment.

Since I have been with the organization it has been a challenge getting my team to work together and follow the chain of command. My direct supervisor’s boss constantly allows my team members to call him with issues without giving me the opportunity address any issues. He asks me why do your staff continue to come to me? My response was, is there a reason why you don’t redirect them to me. It has gotten to the point where if I correct my staff they have reported me for making them feel uncomfortable. May 15th it was brought to my attention in that there were complaints from my staff stating they had issues with the work culture, my leadership style and inappropriate transphobic language. I was told that I was not being written up or disciplined but, HR is investigating the matter. I was told to write a rebuttal to what was said in the meeting. I asked would I be given something in writing to review to give my rebuttal. I was told to write down what I was accused of and give a rebuttal. On May 17th, I sent my rebuttal to my supervisor’s boss and did not receive any reply back stating that it had been received. Today May 19th, I sent an email to him asking if he had received it and he called me saying that he thought he sent an email saying “Received”. While on the phone he stated the this is an HR matter and they will be contacting me. I’m so frustrated!!

The conversation concerns me now because I’m confused! Why he have me to send my rebuttal to him, for him to then send it to HR.

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AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 6:30AM UTC
He wants to control the narrative.
Cindy AllenMay 20,2023 at 12:43PM UTC
Please go directly to HR and ask for an update on the situation. Do this in writing and include a summary of the conversation with your boss, the written rebuttal and your attempts to get a written acknowledgment. Ask what the next steps are.
Their response should indicate if there is an issue, what the current status is and any additional information from you.
Something seems a little off here.
AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:47PM UTC
I did send HR an email requesting a follow up meeting on May 17th, but no response.
AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:03PM UTC
You have unfortunately received a vote of no confidence from both your team and your boss. He’s not willing to advocate for you and redirect subordinate questions back down the food chain. This recent HR accusation will be the vehicle to terminate you. You can continue to invest time in demanding a written account of the accusations and requesting a read receipt on your rebuttal but this job is coming to an end. Please shift your focus to aggressively looking for a new job. Best of luck in your next steps.
AnonymousJune 15,2023 at 3:36PM UTC
I'm gonna agree with that - when your boss loses faith in you, whether you deserve it or not, it might be time to just move on. Many factors would weigh into that decision though - longevity with the company, and whether or not you might outlast that boss. In my experience though, it's rarely worth fighting to win back the respect once it's lost.
Similar thing recently happened to me - things were all good until a boss hired one of his old cronies who started talking bad about me and my team behind my back. Boss believed everything she said, no longer trusted my word on anything, and wouldn't hear my side at all. I'm looking a new job now.
Mary PoolMay 21,2023 at 4:43PM UTC
For your next position, please consider this. You let this happen; it is 100% on you. Why? Because the first time it happened, you did not stop it. You taught your department that you are powerless, not to be respected, and quickly overruled. Now they feel empowered to sabotage you, and why not? Who wants a boss who doesn’t lead? If you cannot, do not stand up for yourself, how can your team believe you stand up for them? Have you ever called anyone on going over your head? Have you ever confronted them about not coming to you first? Have you ever held a meeting with the boss present, indicating this situation is unacceptable? Has there ever once been a negative consequence for an employee going over your head?
This situation is salvageable, but you must change your management style and work with HR to resolve the current situation. You are not their friend; you are not even their co-worker. You are their leader. But do you really want to put the time and energy into doing this or finding a better position for yourself and your mental health?
Honestly, your manager seems to be completely fed up with the situation. If you cannot effectively manage your department, resulting in his management of your people, why does he need you? If you cannot change your management style, you must find another position because your time in this position is limited. There are departments where your style is welcome. This is just not one of them.
AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 6:39PM UTC
My team was recommended by him and he initially assisted me in the hiring process.
There have been multiple discussions with staff, my direct supervisor and him regarding the importance of staff following the chain of command. However, nothing changed.
Mary PoolMay 23,2023 at 12:38PM UTC
Were there any negative consequences for not following the chain of command? There have to be consequences or the behavior will not change. It really sounds like you have no support from management. Time to dust off the resume.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 10:04PM UTC
No there were no negative consequences because they are friends.
AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 7:01PM UTC
Staff had been had been instructed to follow the chain of command. I was was difficult getting to that point due to him counseling and directing me on the majority of the information that was given to him by them.
My team was recommended by him and he initially assisted me in the hiring process. With the exception of 3. There have been multiple discussions with staff, my direct supervisor and him regarding the importance of staff following the chain of command. However, nothing changed.
Ellyn Specker CharapMay 31,2023 at 11:33PM UTC
I agree with Mary that it's wise to start looking for a new position. I had the same thing happen to me about a decade ago - sadly, I got off on the wrong foot with my team of 3 young women, making a self-derogatory joke they disliked, and they took it to HR, saying I had made them feel uncomfortable because I had made a self-derogatory comment, so how could they trust that I wasn't putting them down behind their backs? Granted, this was ridiculous, and they admitted later to going to HR and making up the story because they wanted to be on a different team (with a very handsome and single team leader). But that meant that moving forward I was more of a bother than an asset when it came to team building. I was toast. Time to look forward!
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 1:52PM UTC
@ Mary Pool: This was orchestrated by him. This was never tolerated by me and at every turn I followed protocol. My issue was, he was my last line of support and fail to provide me support; because that was never his intention. I do not think any of this had to do with my management or leadership style. Since, I’ve been transferred to a different department still in my same role. I will continue to conduct myself as a professional and operate under the guidelines in my job description and maintain the fidelity of the program in which I lead and the population of clients in which I serve. I’ve taken my concerns to HR and have not gotten a response.
Kristin BurnsMay 22,2023 at 3:25PM UTC
This feels like a situation where we are not hearing the whole story. Did your team on day 1 start going over your head? Was this supervisor previously theirs? Do you understand what HR is referring to when they mention transphobic language? If you have a supervisor in between you and the one where your staff is directing issues, what do they say about the situation? How many people report to you?
AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 6:34PM UTC
My team was recommended by him and he initially assisted me in the hiring process. There have been multiple discussions with staff, my direct supervisor and him regarding the importance of staff following the chain of command. However, nothing changed.
Kristin BurnsMay 22,2023 at 7:59PM UTC
But they won't change if he keeps answering their questions. Why can't he say no, ask Anonymous?
Ellyn Specker CharapMay 31,2023 at 11:28PM UTC
THIS.
Ellyn Specker CharapMay 31,2023 at 11:39PM UTC
I am so frigging sorry this is happening to you, and it's not your fault at all. Your "grand-boss" should be redirecting the staff to you. What has he told you is the reason he refuses to redirect your staff to you? Quick question: how old are your staff, just out of curiousity? The whole "transphobic language" thing is bugging me. I assume you did not come right out and say you hate trans people, so I'm thinking maybe these are GenZ'ers who need some help understanding that they might run into some pronoun use they don't like when they are out in the work-world.
Edited to add: my spouse and youngest kid are trans, so I kind of have the lay of the land when it comes to transphobia, which is why I'm hazzarding a guess over here as to what happened.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 1:55PM UTC
@ Ellen: one is much younger than myself and the others are the same age or older.
AnonymousJune 14,2023 at 1:25PM UTC
UPDATE: I’ve been transferred to a new department and found out those on my team are his friends in some capacity except for one. They have applied for the position in which one of them are in the interview process. I have not spoken to anyone them nor him. The investigation of the allegations are still ongoing.
AnonymousJuly 22,2023 at 1:21PM UTC
UPDATE: As of 7/10/2023 the investigation has been completed and closed. I’m glad the I did not resign my position under the pressure and stress of it all.
I’m glad that I did allow this change how lead my current team; which is the same way led the last.
I am grateful that a third party agency took over my internal investigation. As a result, there have been changes in the hiring practices and procedures. All employees participated in a training recently on how to follow the chain of command, the reasoning behind it and what that means for team morale. This will allow direct supervisors the opportunity to resolve issues before it bypasses them. This training will be a part of the hiring process and on quarterly basis.
I am also grateful for all of the feedback that I received from this platform.
AnonymousApril 12,2025 at 12:41PM UTC
UPDATE: 4/12/2025 - I am still working with this amazing agency, helping to educate and support our clients in their efforts to improve their lives. Those above me who were in leadership positions are no longer working for the agency.