As a mother of six and the primary earner in my household, I find myself in need of professional guidance regarding a new and unfamiliar situation.

As a mother of six and the primary earner in my household, I find myself in need of professional guidance regarding a new and unfamiliar situation. Apologies for the lengthy explanation!

To provide some context, I am currently working from home while simultaneously pursuing my Bachelor's degree. After a long break, I decided to resume my education and enhance my skills. In January, I joined a small start-up company in a new role, which I absolutely love. It aligns perfectly with my educational aspirations and allows me to further develop the expertise I have gained over the past 15+ years. Interestingly, it was my colleague who referred me to this job. We were both laid off from our previous company, and despite never having met in person due to our fully remote work environment, we forged a strong friendship during our one-year unemployment period.

When I accepted the position, my colleague was also offered a role within the company. However, she declined the offer since she was already employed elsewhere. But upon learning of my acceptance, she decided to accept the position and quit her current job so that we could work together again. I assume the attractive salary played a role in her decision as well.

Initially, everything was going great. We had a fantastic time during my first two weeks, and I was on cloud nine. However, out of the blue, my colleague texted me, stating that she no longer wanted to be friends and preferred to maintain a strictly professional relationship. I respected her decision but expressed my desire to discuss whatever issue was causing this change. After all, I enjoyed my work and wanted to avoid any potential awkwardness. Unfortunately, she declined to engage in a conversation and went as far as blocking me on all platforms except for those related to our work. Surprisingly, I still have no idea what offended her. I tend to be passive and reserved, and finally, in this job, I felt comfortable sharing my ideas and being myself.

Two days later, her behavior took a turn for the worse. She bombarded me with messages on our work chat, expressing her offense at something I said during a team call regarding my personal style and approach. I chose to ignore her messages, but she went as far as threatening to report me to our president. This incident left me feeling sick over the entire weekend. I cherished my job, the flexibility it offered, and the fact that I could now support my family on a single income. Therefore, on Monday, I mustered up the courage to approach our boss, the president, and explain the situation, despite only being in my third week on the job. The unprofessional nature of the situation went against my personal standards.

Time passed, and for about a month, our communication was limited to team chats, and even those interactions were minimal. Collaboration ceased to exist, and our boss did little to address the issue other than reminding me that I cannot control the actions and behavior of others.

Last month, my colleague sent me one final message, informing me that she had blocked me on LinkedIn and had no interest in maintaining any sort of friendship. While I didn't particularly care about the friendship aspect, LinkedIn is one of our professional tools, and I worry that not being able to connect on that platform might give the impression that our small company operates in silos, which is something she created.

Fast forward to this week, and my colleague has suddenly become overly talkative with me. I maintained a respectful demeanor and engaged in conversation. However, whenever I presented an idea, she vehemently disagreed with every single one. It's important to note that I haven't been sharing many ideas lately. In response to her constant rejection of my suggestions, I kindly asked her to consider other people's ideas without being so dismissive. I explained that her approach detracted from a collaborative culture. In turn, she belittled me by emphasizing that she had a master's degree while I was just an undergraduate, insinuating that I was not pulling my weight at work.

I consider myself an overachiever, but her aggressive outreach has been overpowering. She works well beyond the standard 40 hours, even making over 100 prospect calls on the weekends. I, on the other hand, believe in maintaining a work-life balance. There is a significant difference between living to work and working to live. Given everything else on my plate, I am already exhausted. This is also setting the wrong culture to our company at birth where it presents to keep up, you must work around the clock. Keep in mind my employer believes in work/life balance and offer unlimited PTO.

In response to this recent incident, I immediately reached out to my boss, and advised it was unacceptable behavior and seeking guidance. He advised me to stand down and assured me that he would address the situation the following day. However, on Wednesday, he was in and out of the office and never addressed the issue or provided any feedback. I later discovered that he would be out of the office for the remainder of the week. I feel disregarded and disrespected on multiple occasions, and as a woman, I believe it is crucial to stand up for myself. Consequently, I prepared an official complaint to to send him but I am being told to wait and let him handle it first. I just feel unsure and feel this is new to him.

What would you do? Do I send the email or wait til we speak? This has mentally draining and has affected my productivity and mental wellness…glad to have my husband that gave me his shoulder to cry on.