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Help me understand

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Anonymous

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Help me understand

I applied for another position in my same company, this would have been a lateral move and maybe more money and maybe not it was never disclosed.

I applied in August and never heard anything until about a month later. I applied to be the Admin Assistant for the boss of my boss who was the SVP. Not because I wanted to leave or that I hated my boss because there was none of that. This was purely for professional development. It would have been an honor and a pleasure to support this man in a professional capacity, as I would have had a seat at the table.

They did notify me that they went in another direction with someone else internally and I do know and work with the person that was selected. she is much younger and way cuter and I'm hoping that was not the reason.

But when I asked them what stood out to them about the other candidate and if there was anything I could work on or something I could clear up for them.

He said that we both interviewed very well, we both were very qualified and had the same skill set but the other candidate made the most sense for him. I asked him if he could elaborate on that a little more about what specifically made the most sense - he just said... Well, I guess it was just energy, and enthusiasm was what made the choice.

I asked him if he had any feedback for me either in my current role or in the future - he said Well, just continue to be organized, which you already are, and continue to be well prepared which you already are and lean on my experiences and expertise from outside the company.

I said OK thank you for that but if I can just push back on you a little bit ... if I am all of those things, there must be something that the other candidate brought to the table that helped you get to your decision...

He says well, I guess it was just energy and enthusiasm was what made the choice.

So my question for the chat is -

What do I take away from this?

Am I reading too much into it?

Am I being too salty because the candidate chosen was young and cute and the senior leader was an older man?

Or did I maybe dodge a bullet?

Thanks for any context you can provide

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  1. Anonymous

    Sometimes it's hard to articulate what "a good fit" means.

    I think you did well. You saw a job to go for, went for it, interviewed well, got feedback, pushed for a little more- got more insight.

    Be sure to thank him - stay positive/neutral.

    Don't read too much into it. Another opportunity will come. Keep networking.

  2. Cindy Glover

    I would take his/her advice

    Sometimes the personality traits just fit better- you’ve done nothing wrong

    Although, the looks of the person seems to bother you quite a bit - I’d so some self searching to get over that.

  3. Q

    Sometimes "energy" is more about personality dynamic. Admin Assistants work very closely with the upper management they support so the rapport dynamic would be a legitimate differentiator. It sounds like you were both highly qualified but that there was more of a personality "click" with her.

  4. Anonymous

    First of all congrats to you for asking for feedback. That is wonderful as you are doing your best to improve your chances next time. I’ve hired many assistants. It’s very difficult when there is a choice between 2 people, especially. Many times it will come down to what the manager needs, how they click along with other hard skills. Give yourself some grace. Pat yourself on the back for putting yourself out there too. And finally, do not ever compare yourself to someone else’s looks. We are ALL unique so embrace YOU! Looks go nowhere, brains and know how go everywhere. I’ve worked with those who focus on looks and honestly they are shallow and have no job skills. I live by this, and feel free to use this for yourself … I’m not for everyone and everyone is not for me and I’m okay with that. We are unique, and I’d seek work where you are in a diverse environment where you feel more included than excluded. Hang in there!!

  5. Anonymous

    I agree with this, and if the other person's looks were the "energy" the executive was looking for, I believe the OP dodged a bullet on this one. OP, please know that what you have on the inside is much more important than what you have on the outside. If someone overlooks one for the other, it is on them, not you.

  6. Anonymous
  7. Anonymous

    It sounds like you were looking for some sort of “confession”, where the hiring manager was going to admit that the other individual was chosen based on her age or looks-to validate the fact that you were the better candidate, and she was not. Even if that were true, no one in their right mind would ever admit that due to legal or just plain moral reasons. Don’t beat yourself up over something you can’t prove. If it bothers you move on. If not, try your best to support her. Who knows? She may decide to move on if she’s that young and beautiful and if you play your cards right, you could be next in line!

  8. Anonymous

    I think sometimes it comes down to who you vibe with. I think in professional settings we get so focus on the stats like education, certifications, expertise and we forget about the human aspect. We are human beings....we spend a tremendous amount of time at and with work. So chemistry and energy are those things that can make a good solid work experience a GREAT experience. People in my book make all the difference. I need to really enjoy my colleagues and my greatest jobs were due to the chemistry of the team and energy of those closest to me. You can't really describe it.

    So take a step back. It's nothing you didn't have in the way of practical skill. It really was energy. You didn't connect like the other candidate. Nothing you can do about that.

  9. Anonymous

    Wow, passive aggressive much? This candidate clearly did not understand and she reached out to that was supposed to be a safe space and your respond with attitude? This is not the real housewives.

  10. Anonymous

    With the way you kept pushing because you weren't pleased with his answer on the feedback (when he wasn't obligated to provide you with any response at all), I'm guessing you come across a bit strongly sometimes. If she's outgoing and friendly, that's a pretty critical distinction at the levels you're describing. If you really want to advance at this company, consider seeking some brutally frank feedback from other coworkers. Not everyone can handle the truth of that approach, and not all of your coworkers will be honest in that sort of situation. But if you get some truthful feedback you can sit with that for a bit and think about how others might see your approach. At that point you may feel that there's no validity in the feedback you received. Or you may recognize things that could limit you and agree that they describe you pretty well. How you move forward from there is up to you. Best of luck to you.

  11. Anonymous

    Definitely stop pushing, I had an opening, interviewed many people and choose to promote someone on my team instead. One of the candidates who is also internal wouldn't stop asking questions why, and HR kept coming to me for more color, when it came down to breadth of analytical experience as the leading factor. To that she responding with a list of why she felt her analytical experience was a fit, it wasn't, it was intermediate level maybe for a definite advanced role, but the repeated seeking of more justification, told me she couldn't be told no.

    What I didnt share was I didnt think she would be a good fit personality wise and the pushing for rationale fit into what I initially felt on the interview. In our role we often have to maneuver being told no, and I could see afterwards she wouldn't have been able to cope with that if she thought her work was good for a yes.

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