How to deal with a mediocre boss?

10 Comments

1. Kathryn MontbriandOctober 20,2022 at 2:10PM UTC

   My advice before you go to HR is to have a rules of engagement conversation with your boss. It doesn't have to be a feedback conversation about how he acts (although that could be a separate convo if needed).

   The rules of engagement would center around YOU and what things you need from a manager to do your best work. Make an actual list - think about what has worked for you in manager/report relationships in the past. Write down everything that worked, and the things that really didn't work.

   Prioritize the list and pick the top 5-7 things for your discussion with your manager. Frame the conversation as: I was reflecting on how I can do my best work and have a few requests for you to support me on that endeavor, could we talk through them?

   Then go through what you need / things that will impede you. Manager will say yes to the items or want to discuss more. Worst case he says no, and you have clarity on where his boundaries are.

   If he continues to do things that are unhelpful, you can remind him of the discussion you had. and ask if there are things you can jointly adjust.

   Managers aren't mind readers and it helps everyone if you just explicitly state what it is you need. If you don't tell them, they may spend months or years guessing at how to best work with you and getting it wrong.

   Good luck!

2. Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterOctober 20,2022 at 4:32PM UTC

   Yes! I am an advocate of addressing the situation head-on first. Frame it as what YOU need to be productive and valuable to the organization...then see if there's a significant shift in his behaviors.

3. AnonymousOctober 20,2022 at 2:55PM UTC

   I would start looking for a new role. You indicated that over the course of the year, he doesn’t listen to you, respond to your communications, or value you what you do. It is very unlikely that this will change after talking with him. Talking with HR will likely only make the problem worse. I’ve had a few bad bosses in my long career, and in my experience you can either leave or muddle through and hope they leave. Best of luck!

4. AnonymousOctober 20,2022 at 2:55PM UTC

   Explain in very clear terms that you are unable to work like this and ask him what you two might decide on as a compromise.

   If he is not proactive in his response offer to go to HR and request a reassignment or a new supervisor because your productivity is being lowered.

5. Nicole DupuisOctober 20,2022 at 4:39PM UTC

   I think it is totally fair to address this with him directly. Explain in a solution-focused way that you feel like the communication between you both could be better and you want find ways to improve your working relationship. I think it is ok to call him out on the fact that he does not respond to emails and how that impacts your ability to perform at an optimal level. . Letting him know you are coming from a place of wanting you both to be a successful team help avoid him getting defensive.

6. AnonymousOctober 20,2022 at 8:59PM UTC

   1) "Reporting to a boss who I didn't choose" I can't think of any job where anyone ever gets to choose their boss.
   And for those self-employed or own a business, their customers are their boss....if they want to stay afloat.
   And these bosses are either there when you make it to a job or they get swap for someone else. Nothing abnormal about that.
   2) "He doesn't listen to what I say". It is hard to give feedback on this when it is unclear why you feel this way. If you feel this way because he does not agree or accept your ideas, since he is your boss, he is not required to. He does not even owe you a reason why he declined to take on your idea or suggestion due to his position
   3) "He does not answer my emails and does not value what I do" Why do you feel this way? It is totally normal for people to feel an initial shock, especially if a new manager's leadership style is completely different from a former manager that folks were accustomed to. But it is also a good opportunity to be observant and ask questions about their leadership style and preferences to help build your awareness to help get what you need from him. For ex, if he is the type that is not responsive to emails, increase the frequency of mini 15-20 min meetings to ask your 5-10 questions then, rather than emails piling up and going unanswered.
   4) If he comes across as a nice guy but not the responsive type, it is possible that he has an introverted personality and he is not doing anything intentional to give you this level of discomfort at work.
   5) Are others on your team (more than 2) having the same experience as you? For those that do not, try talking to them to learn what ways they are navigating your boss and perhaps incorporate some of those tips into your approach.
   6) Without having objective facts to comment on, it is hard to see or gauge how he does not value you. Not saying that he does, but it is just not clear from your post. For ex, when you say you are out of sight, out of mind, do you know his workload, maybe he is swamped and just has not been able to make time to meet your every need. This is a good reason as previously mentioned why you should initiate mini meetings to try to get your questions directly answered that you need from him. Also consider leveraging help from other SMEs or focals to also address areas when possible.
   7) If you made up your mind to leave/or transfer, just do that by applying to other jobs internal or external to the company. What you wrote does not seem like a strong enough case to complain to HR about. They are there to protect the company, not you.
   8) You could have a conversation with your manager, but in a diplomatic way by putting a positive spin on your issues. For ex; hey I really appreciate your leadership, but sometimes my work gets delayed when I don't get a timely response to my emails. Did you have a preference on how I should better approach you with matters that require timely responses? For ex, do you prefer I set up a quick 10-15 min to discuss? Or what do you think would be more beneficial for you? If you just ask him directly on his communication preferences might help resolve 70-80% of some of your concerns.......or maybe not and perhaps you reached a threshold. Either way, good luck on whichever you decide.

7. GirlBossanova934974October 23,2022 at 12:38PM UTC

   As a new manager, you have to "pick your battles" wisely. There is only so much time in the day and you have to get to know a lot of new people. And to be candid, one's direct reports can be lower on the list of priorities. And it does not get any easier going up the org chart. I am a business owner myself. Everyday, I have to pick from a list of things to direct my attention to. What are my staffing levels? Am I being too restrictive on hours worked? Move that person from part to full time? Business is rolling in. Shouldn't I be working on that new website enhancement I should have done 2 weeks ago? A big promotional event is coming up. Vendors are coming in on Monday. And so on.......My message: A little patience can go a long way.

8. Bradford McCormickOctober 24,2022 at 5:43AM UTC

   Non carborundum letigimi (Don't let the duly appointed authorities grind you down). If you like your job, don't let this person "get to you". You are smarter than him? Then can't you use psychology to manage him? If he goes whichever way the wind blows, help point him in a harmless direction.

   Insofar as you can do your job yourself, can't you jsut do your thing yourself? If you need something out of him, can you give him such clear instructions tht even hse can follow them and then follow up on him every time he gets lost in his brain fog?

   "Nie gut"? Do you mean somoe who is genuinely mentally challenged but means no harm? Or is he like in the classic old soul song (free n the Internet) "Smiling faces sometimes" by The Undisputed Truth? In the latter case you have a problem: him. In the former ase, can't you jsut pet him on the head and assure him that he's a good puppy?

   Don't let m=him get o you and don't do anything to hurt yourself. If you get frustrated, take a break don't break something. But watch out for fellow employees who migh try to weaponize him to cause you trouble, because if he goes whichever way the wind blows some bad actor migh tget him pointed in your direction..

   There used to be a bad joke in International Business Machines Corp. that "IBM means: Idiots Become Mangers"

9. EMILY KIKUE FRANKOctober 24,2022 at 2:42PM UTC

   When I had a mediocre-to-poor boss, I started practicing managing up. It's a pain in the butt, but it can work sometimes. I was fortunate to have a good working relationship with my supervisor's boss, and was able to address some of my concerns with her, so based on her recommendation, I started wrapping up each week with an email to both of them. I outlined what I'd accomplished that week, what I was in the middle of (I think I called it "in progress" and added an anticipated completion time) and a "stuck" section. That last one is where I got the most traction. I would say why I was unable to make progress (usually someone else needed to do something) and what the 2 booses could do to support me. Because it went to the bopth of them, my boss had no choice but to offer the support I needed. It looked pretty darn bad when I was stuck on the same project because of the same issues for weeks at a time!

10. AnonymousOctober 24,2022 at 8:41PM UTC

    When I have a poor leader I coach them (and normally they don't notice). However I am in process of looking for a new position as my current boss is not coachable.