Don’t Call me Anymore please!!

Nancy Mace

July 5,2022 at 2:29PM UTC

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Don’t Call me Anymore please!!

Over the past 5 years I have had a GM for a local news station contact me on 3 separate occasions to apply for their Director of Marketing. The first time I had good interviews with the GM and the VP of Marketing. I received the call that it was offered to someone from another market. Okay! Fast forward a year and I receive a call from the same GM that the position is open again and was curious if I was still interested…sure! So I interview again with him, the VP of Marketing and Corporate HR. I’m told everyone loved me and really wanted me in the team. I wait for the offer and get a phone call that someone stepped up internally. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. Fast forward 2 more years and the GM calls me again. This time we have lunch together and I ask him why he keeps calling me. He states he really wants me on his team. I interview with the News Directors, Director of Sales, Sales Manager and Office Manager. I think all is going well and I wait for the offer. In the meantime I notice the job has been posted to LinkedIn 6 days after our luncheon. This does not look good for me. The GM sends me a text to call him when I can talk. I replied “If you are not calling to offer me the position, then there is no need to talk.” He calls me and tells me they found a candidate with more experience. He said “I still want you on my team! We will find a spot for you.” I said don’t bother! YOU have called ME three times and each time I get my hopes up and three times I’ve been disappointed. Let’s just part ways! Please don’t call me anymore.

Was I justified?

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AnonymousJuly 5,2022 at 2:46PM UTC
Yes you were. And sorry this was your experience. Either this GM does not have the influence he thinks he has to secure your job or he is totally delusional in creating a spot for you. 3 years?!! come on. those are the kind of bosses that are filled with empty promises. They get your hopes up only to disappoint you later. The in between lack of offers from that news station probably saved you from some unnecessary frustration and headaches. Make your peace and move on. Block the person's number if you have to. Or even reach out to their HR to complain about the GM still contacting you.
AnonymousJuly 5,2022 at 2:46PM UTC
I'm surprised you kept going back to talk to them !
Nancy MaceJuly 5,2022 at 4:13PM UTC
Me too! Fool me once...fool me twice...fool me THREE times. You would think I had learned.
Julie HumbirdJuly 5,2022 at 3:26PM UTC
It's flattering to have someone excited to have you on their team which makes this much more disappointing. Beware of the term 'we will find a spot for you'. I've seen that lead to lack of work, purpose and justification for the salary.
JJJuly 5,2022 at 3:34PM UTC
Yes!
April MinerJuly 5,2022 at 3:47PM UTC
He is soaking your brain for ideas ( I'm sure they are asking you all kinds of marketing ideas/scenarios during the "interview") and stringing you along. You will never get the job. You were definitely justified.
Kathy SternerJuly 5,2022 at 4:20PM UTC
After three times, I would simply never apply for a position there again. Professionally, telling the person who contacted you may or may not be a good idea. Personally, I would say thanks for the update and best wishes, then move on. However, would I let the person convince me to apply with them in the future? Probably not.
AnonymousJuly 5,2022 at 4:25PM UTC
ALSO note that that if the same position is coming open year after year - that' s a red flag to me. Why do they keep losing people? Good choice on your part.
Teresa PearsonJuly 5,2022 at 4:35PM UTC
Nancy, you do not want to be on that Team. As nice as the GM may appear to be. He does not have a good supportive team. They are clearly all over the place because the turnover is too high for that position.
I do understand your frustration but you also should not burn bridges. Also keep it professional!
Antonia CalzettiJuly 5,2022 at 4:39PM UTC
100% decline.
AnonymousJuly 5,2022 at 5:20PM UTC
I leave these types of things on the table and string them along.
I don't jump through hoops and they get desperate and keep trying.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 5,2022 at 10:58PM UTC
YOU SAID:
"Was I justified?"
You don't have to justify this to anyone. If you don't want him to call you anymore, you have every right to make that happen. End of.
Block his number if you want to.
AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 11:05AM UTC
You’re certainly justified, but let the GM continue to try to hire you if there is a role that fits at a pay point that you like.
But after five years, understandable that you are skeptical. And why does that job keep opening so frequently?
Crystal HowellJuly 6,2022 at 12:36PM UTC
Yes, you can contact their HR and file a request to opt out.
Kristie WhiteJuly 6,2022 at 1:19PM UTC
Yes. You’ve taken the bait 3 times and he has not followed through. It’s been 5 years. AND you’ve already interviewed with everybody! Tell him not to call unless it is to offer you the job at 20% above market.
AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 6:20PM UTC
Good for you for taking power into your own hands. You deserve better!
AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 11:25PM UTC
One word. Messy. He was messy. Move on.
Patricia BraswellJuly 7,2022 at 1:01AM UTC
You dodge a nightmare! Notice the pattern, the people don't even stay long enough to set up their office. Once I can understand but two and three times, there's something wrong with him and the company. Count your blessings!
Jennifer FingerJuly 7,2022 at 12:14PM UTC
I think you were justified. If three times he reaches out to you, puts you through the application process, but never brings you on board, you're dodging bullets by not working there and he's wasting your time.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netJuly 7,2022 at 12:20PM UTC
Don't take his calls anymore. He obviously has another agenda.
AyianJuly 7,2022 at 12:23PM UTC
Oh absolutely you're justified. He's been leading you on for years. Inform him very clearly that you're no longer interested in being on HIS team and best of luck professionally.
carolina girlJuly 7,2022 at 12:25PM UTC
YES! If he’s jerking you around. I would apply for a competitive company.
Allison RuffnerJuly 7,2022 at 12:27PM UTC
They are using you to just show that they are interviewing a qualified female applicant. I know I have often been used for this, and I really won't play anymore. Multiple time when it came a management role, it would be me and one guy, and the guy always got it. There would be lots of excuses, but, I was just used to make it so they could move forward and tick off the box they had a qualified female applicant so they could fill the position. I definitely was qualified too. More so.
I won't play anymore.
Stephanie ChernoffJuly 7,2022 at 12:30PM UTC
If he actually wanted you on his team, you’d have been offered the job already. This sounds to me like he has other candidates in mind that he really wants but HR is requiring him to interview more than one person.
Beth Whight MoralesJuly 7,2022 at 12:33PM UTC
I mean you could take his next call. Agree to the meeting and then pump him for information you can use with the competition. Then opt out of any further interviews. How? Just ask him lots of questions about the market, the strategies he has implemented that are working well, etc. Really schmooz him up. And then girl, use it.
Also see if you can wriggle a steakhouse for lunch - might as well get a good meal out of it.
Yvonne LoorijJuly 7,2022 at 12:39PM UTC
100% justified!
What a flakey guy! 3 times! Lots of red flags. Good riddance.
Cyndy TrivellaJuly 7,2022 at 12:40PM UTC
Absolutely disgraceful behavior and the lack of regard this company has for the candidate experience is shameful.
Someone laid sage on me years ago when I had a disappointing job interview experience. I'll share it with you here.
If the hiring company treats you poorly during the interview when they are "courting" you and supposed to be on their best behavior, don't expect things to get better once you've been hired and they have you where they want you.
Obviously, given their tenacity in pursuing you, you have skills and experience that are valuable. There are companies that will respect those attributes, and they're out there waiting for you.
Good luck!
Laura WestJuly 7,2022 at 1:34PM UTC
Couldn't agree more! If that's their "best behavior" ... unlikely to improve -- the red flag couldn't get any larger!
DeleteJuly 7,2022 at 12:44PM UTC
Of course! That's just too much. Move on and select a company that deserves you!
Angie MartinJuly 7,2022 at 12:49PM UTC
One, this seems like a lot of movement for a local news station. Three GMs in 5 years?!? Most stay for quite a while, if the fit is good and the market is decent. I would see this as a red flag. If the station is in that much turmoil, it's not worth working there.
Lvl UpJuly 7,2022 at 1:04PM UTC
There weren’t 3 GM’s in 5 years, it was the same GM reaching out 3 times over 5 years. However I will agree there seems to be a bit of turmoil in this workplace, more specifically surrounding the GM.
GirlBossanova934974July 7,2022 at 12:50PM UTC
Perhaps I am giving away my age a bit here.
After I read this, I kept seeing Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the immortal Football! For those not aware of that scene, Lucy is always egging on Charlie Brown to make a run at the football. This time, this time, Lucy is NOT going to pull the football away when Charlie Brown arrives at the point of kicking it. But alas each and every time, Lucy pulls the football and Charlie Brown ends up on his back with another poetic reason from Lucy that there was this really good reason she pulled the football away at the last second. Obvious question is why after 2 go's at the football, does anyone believe a WORD coming out of this GM's mouth? And why in heaven's name would you trust your livelihood to a pathological liar like this? I would say you really lucked out. I wouldn't trust this liar GM to put gas in my car. In my experience, these cats usually run out of real estate in their present job in 1-3 years in any case. They burn bridges left and right and part in the middle of the night.
Jillian JohnsonJuly 7,2022 at 1:13PM UTC
Absolutely justified! It seems like you’ve met EVERYONE on the team and they all like you, but you can’t get hired? It also raises a red flag for me they keep needing to fill this position. Block their number.
Julie SencionJuly 7,2022 at 1:19PM UTC
Absolutely. He had you jumping through hoops for a job he gave to someone else 3 times. I would point out if the role has opened up this many times in what seems like a 5 year span, that is a red flag ?.
Keri BlaszczynskiJuly 7,2022 at 1:45PM UTC
My thoughts exactly--open x3 in 5 years, there's a reason.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 1:25PM UTC
You are right ? .I don't know why employers like playing on people's mind .If you have some one already why should you waste other people's time, transport and other things.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 1:28PM UTC
You have more patience than me.
Laura WestJuly 7,2022 at 1:32PM UTC
You. Are. Justified. I'm so sorry that you've been put through this!
Jeri TuckJuly 7,2022 at 1:46PM UTC
It's not you, it's them.
Cynthia (Van Syoc) KendallJuly 7,2022 at 1:52PM UTC
YES! You dont need their games!
Michelle S.July 7,2022 at 1:57PM UTC
You are absolutely fair about this and I wouldn’t ever entertain a position that’s been open three times in a matter of as many years. That’s terrifying to me.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 2:02PM UTC
If they do that sort of thing with potential candidates, then just imagine what they do with their employees.
You did the right thing.
Focused721350July 7,2022 at 2:05PM UTC
Good Morning Nancy,
Oh! Heck yeah! To me! Strike three he's out! To flaky and a waste of your precious time. Trust Me! Something better is coming for you ;)
Good Luck and God Bless, Ms. T
Paula BrantnerJuly 7,2022 at 2:05PM UTC
Yes, you were justified. At this point, I would be suspicious of the GM's motives for continuing to contact you. The language “I still want you on my team! We will find a spot for you," raises some red flags for me. Not that you aren't qualified for the position, but there's something going on internally if the GM gets outvoted three times in a row.
Rachel BulkoJuly 7,2022 at 2:07PM UTC
I agree, they are the ones in the wrong for leading you on. Strike 3 and they’re blocked. Definitely know your worth and look elsewhere for opportunities. You dodged a bullet with this company.
Kim RaperJuly 7,2022 at 2:11PM UTC
Without question, they are wasting your valuable time.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 2:11PM UTC
Yes, your reaction and response was completely appropriate. However, I should add that in my 20+ year career there were two occasions where I asked candidates whom I had previously interviewed and rejected (in one case, more than a year before) to come back to interview for a similar - same title, different group- position. I never had the only controlling vote in the previous situations, but I did agree that the other candidates were the right choice. I also truly believed that these other folks would be great at my company and on my team, so I pushed through my embarrassment, acknowledged the awkwardness of the situation, and went back to them to ask if they’d be interested in interviewing for a different position. In one situation, I think I did this twice. Both WERE eventually hired and did spectacularly. Important to note that these were new openings for different positions. I agree with others that this is a lot of turnover in the same role. Makes me wonder about this leader’s reputation and authority. If they can’t get their favorite candidates hired, what else can’t they do? When I brought someone back, I told other decision makers that I wouldn’t even make the introductions unless they were open to actually making an offer, and I certainly would have made sure that there were no internal candidates waiting in the wings before dragging someone back. But returning to the same institution to interview again CAN work under the right circumstances.
ChrishoggJuly 7,2022 at 2:38PM UTC
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me three times....
I've been reading FGB for several years now, and I don't read every post and all the comments ...
,,, but I believe that of all the posts I have read, this is the only one that I can remember where there was 100% agreement by the commenters.
Yes, you were justified.
RenkeichanJuly 7,2022 at 2:56PM UTC
YES! YES! YES!
Who wants to work with anyone like that who can’t even stand up and say, “I want her, no exceptions”.
You can’t keep getting stung along. Good for you!
Keep moving forward!
Kari ParkerJuly 7,2022 at 3:12PM UTC
I've had similar happen. I ended up interviewing SIX times total over a year (same position opened up three times). Then once, they even brought me in to show me "my" office and meet the staff. Then - nothing, no offer or start date. He called again a few weeks later because the other person didn't work out. I told him I was no longer available to them. He asked "just to us, or in general?" and I told him I was no longer interested in a company that had no problem wasting my time, which is just as valuable as his time. They recently went out of business - I figure I dodged a bullet.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 3:46PM UTC
You did the right thing. I would even say that you should advise them that they are shooting themselves in the foot because people do rate companies on apps now. So maybe you should.
Valerie RiegerJuly 7,2022 at 3:46PM UTC
Absolutely!! If he wanted you on his team you would be on his team. Let the 3rd time be the charm - to stop wasting your time with that organization.
Susan RoblesJuly 7,2022 at 3:51PM UTC
Can't believe you were so patient all these years. Sometimes the timing is just not there and I'm sure you'll think about "what if!"
Good luck on all you do and keep us updating. I know I could learn from you!!!
Pamela RosenJuly 7,2022 at 4:03PM UTC
Just popping in to point out that the same position was open three times in four years. What's that tell you about what it's like to work on that team? I would say you dodged a bad situation three times and you certainly don't need to keep at it. You made the right decision.
Ida McCartyJuly 7,2022 at 4:08PM UTC
Who needs this kind of nonsense, you deserve to work at a company that does not value you. I had a similar experience with a company that got down to the offer, and then told me that there is a hiring freeze. But insisted that I make contact with them regularly to see if anything has changed. Sit and spin on that one!
Valerie ReynoldsJuly 7,2022 at 4:17PM UTC
Absolutely justified. It may even warrant a constructive critique email about hiring etiquette and organizational professionalism. He proactively reached out to you three times. He's obviously running a %$@!-show over there where he keeps loosing people in this director-level position and where he has no executive function in who is selected. Thank your lucky stars this position (frustration) has been kept from you. You are being prepared from something greater.
KileyJuly 10,2022 at 12:50PM UTC
Spot on.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 6:54PM UTC
The OP is completely justified here and may have dogged a bullet. This might be a good time to bring up that interviewing is a two way street. Candidates and companies should interview each other. Always ask why the role is open if it is a replacement, why? Sometimes it is for a good reason, internal promotion, someone did not return from family leave, even when someone moves on to another company there can be a good reason for it. That said, this role has been open 3 times in 4 years is alarming.
If turn over is high at a company or your gut is telling you something there is no reason you as the candidate should not reach out to one or more former employees, ask them for their experience. Why did they move on? Take that information as just one data point in conjunction with other information to help inform your decision.
Rosa GoesJuly 7,2022 at 7:01PM UTC
Absolutely! I think you handled it with honesty and the right amount of annoyance, they need to know this is not acceptable when dealing with potential candidates. Good for you!
Kerry RoperJuly 7,2022 at 7:59PM UTC
Could this just be lazy hiring practices?
Since they know you are already vetted in a way, so for them (the GM) to fulfill their due diligence, why not skip the long process of the hunt? Why not just call in the same person (or persons) for another round? Clearly, they do not get that people DO review interviews, and that word will get out. Did the OP look into or find any social media info regarding the company as a whole before interviewing the second time?
Gretchen KlinglerJuly 7,2022 at 8:20PM UTC
Absolutely justified in the way you handled it. Additionally, this doesn't seem like the kind of organizational management you'd want to be working with: unclear goals and disorganized internal communication.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 8:27PM UTC
Same thing happened to me except I applied the first time. I was the “first runner up”. Twice I’m contacted by the hiring VP, do loads of interviewing. The last time he just ghosted me.
Fast forward and a friend of mine gets a job there. After 2 weeks, she’s telling me how disorganized it is, and now, a year later, they’ve reneged on promises they made her. I consider myself lucky and I think you may be lucky, too!
na1102July 7,2022 at 8:31PM UTC
I agree. I would tell them to lose your number. some companies have to interview a certain amount of serious prospects for positions. You did the right thing.
ReachingGoalsJuly 7,2022 at 8:46PM UTC
Yes. He will "find you a spot on his team"??????? Nope. You did the right thing
Stephanie HsuJuly 7,2022 at 9:47PM UTC
You are 100% justified in your answer!!
HannahJuly 7,2022 at 10:37PM UTC
precisely
SLTJuly 8,2022 at 9:55AM UTC
You did exactly right!!
AnonymousJuly 8,2022 at 12:12PM UTC
I would say yes wholly justified, I recently had the same issue with the IPCC and in the end just said unless youre willing to pay me for my time, then I'd rather not go through it all over again
AnonymousJuly 8,2022 at 12:47PM UTC
I would agree you are justified. I am curious what the GM REALLY wants you on the team for? Based on what you wrote I don't think it specific for the job its about something else.
Nancy MaceJuly 8,2022 at 1:50PM UTC
I have an AWESOME personality. haha
I think it was my connections to the community. I know everyone and everyone knows me. I was in radio for over 15 years so I made a lot of connections.
AnonymousJuly 8,2022 at 1:54PM UTC
Definitely. Good for you for being assertive.
AnonymousJuly 8,2022 at 4:36PM UTC
WTF, you sound completely skilled and then some. Are they interviewing you to check a box for gender, age, military status, or other protected class was interviewed.
So they have crap-all turn-over. That’s bad. You’ve already interviewed with basically everyone, so that makes you a known quantity.
They call again, tell them to have a signed offer in hand with a penalty if they with draw, and a bonus on your 1-hr anniversary.
If they are a 100% right to work state, think about the minimum term for an employment contract for you to switch.
I got a hiring bonus in a city in 2009 when the top companies weren’t giving bonuses. But my immediate past boss was part of hiring me and told them how much i was making. I held out for a signing bonus with no repayment terms. Their message was that the buyout of my firm made things unstable, but the new firm already gave me a retention letter, for my same work, with a little more money, and with my same client project.
i emphasized the new company was asking me to trust their work culture, advancement culture, ethics working with clients, start new projects on new systems with new people, and an internal difference in functions. I was clear they were the risky choice. I didn’t initiate contact again until the bonus was offered.
Hindsight? Wish I stayed with BearingPoint/Deloitte and never joined Booz Allen Hamilton. It’s like Standford or Berkeley vs Harvard.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netJuly 8,2022 at 6:17PM UTC
There is no job. Stop participating.
Bosslady520080July 8,2022 at 6:20PM UTC
They're playing with you.
Bridget HarringtonJuly 10,2022 at 5:05PM UTC
YES!
And IMO, you gave them way too many chances. I had an experience like this about 20 years ago. The owner of this one business HOUNDED me to be on his team. At the time, I was temping but actively looking because the job market in my area for what I do was terrible and there were few permanent jobs. I was offered the chance to interview for a perm position at the company I was temping with. I was told by a few people within that company that it was very rare for temps to be hired...that the job I was interviewing for had a few internal contentenders. So, since my contract was ending and I'd soon be jobless, I talked to the Hounder. He offered me what sounded like a dream position with a salary that was higher than most perm jobs I had been seeing.
BIG MISTAKE. HUGE. Not only did I burn a bridge at my temp job by not interviewing - because I later learned that I had superior qualifications than their internal people and my supervisor was pushing hard for them to consider me - but the "job" I took with the Hounder was a nightmare. Not only was this guy a classic narcissist, he was borderline psychotic. He fired me for a made-up reason (he smelled strongly of alcohol that day, so that probably had something to do with it) not even two weeks on the job. And that particular company had never been able to keep anyone working there for very long. Through my professional network (this was way before LinkedIn), I tracked down some prior employees of this company (all women)....all were highly qualified and were let go under strange circumstances. The consensus seemed to be that the owner of this company had a problem with women and took pleasure in roping in highly qualified women so he could fire them. Side note: one of the ladies I spoke with told me that his wife divorced him and took him for nearly everything he had. If you think this sounds like a Hollywood story....I'm older and wiser now and can tell you that I have met that type A LOT in my career. They just are not as blatant as that one.
Lesson learned, but I learned not to let fear (of having no income) guide my decisions. If something feels wrong and the behavior is suspicious...WALK. They are chasing you and stringing you along for a reason that has nothing to do with you and it is not a good reason. It's like a man in the dating world who won't take no for an answer and who has a track record of treating women badly. PAY ATTENTION. You did the professional version of block and delete.
Balanced372207July 12,2022 at 6:10PM UTC
Excellent answer based on the "been there done that" school.
MidwestMaven456July 10,2022 at 11:05PM UTC
Enough is enough. Do not accept calls from this person again, because there are two business don'ts here.
First, you interviewed, they turned you down. If they didn't offer you the job the second time it came around, they are not really interested in you. They are only using you to show that it's been posted to all comers to "keep things above board".
Secondly, look at the turnover rate. That job keeps opening up for a reason and it could be lots of things. Is it the location? Is the work load unreasonable? Could the workplace be toxic? Whatever it is, do you really want to risk working there?
Beth Dominey CampbellJuly 12,2022 at 12:55PM UTC
?! Though to invest the amount of time in you that they did I believe they saw the value you would bring. However, enough!!
AnonymousJuly 13,2022 at 4:05PM UTC
This may sound wierd, but, first thing that popped in my mind is the GM has a crush on you and uses the job opening as an excuse to call you.
Aside from that, if he calls again I'd get the tea on what happened to the first 3 persons, turn the job down again, and then tell your homegirls over brunch and mimosas!
Paula BrantnerJuly 13,2022 at 6:31PM UTC
That's what I wondered as well: if he's trying to bring her in for his own reasons, but the others are aware of that and are preventing that from playing out according to his plan.
AnonymousJuly 14,2022 at 11:57AM UTC
I think you’re totally justified. So many flags go up from reading this. I think by the third time I would’ve asked
1) Why does this position keep reopening?
2) Why me? Which of my skills and experience qualify me the most for this role?
Then if I hear vague (a.k.a. BS) answers I’d cut tires right there.
If the answers seem detailed and honest then I’d say I’d consider all the info and they can keep me in the running. I’d keep my expectations low and greatly consider all the flags.
AnonymousJuly 14,2022 at 2:13PM UTC
Yeah, it sounds like a game is being played here. Your time and efforts are better spent somewhere else instead of continuing to be frustrated by this person and his team. You absolutely did the right thing in telling him so.
Nancy MaceAugust 16,2022 at 2:27PM UTC
You guys aren't going to believe this! The job is open AGAIN! I'm just waiting for him to call me! I can't wait to see "You have got to be kidding me!" and hang up on him.
Kim RaperAugust 16,2022 at 6:23PM UTC
You should write a book at this point. What a messed up organization that is for sure. You are definitely better off not having gone to work for them.