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I work with a woman who thinks Taylor Swift is a witch.

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Anonymous

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I work with a woman who thinks Taylor Swift is a witch. I went to lunch with her once (group of us) and she told all of us that we were going to hell.

Yet, we were at a convention together where she drank the night away and talked about how she was getting a divorce.

While this may or may not be an HR issue, I'm not turning the girl in for going through a crisis.

But, any suggestions on how to deal, engage with her?

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  1. Susan Grant-Suttie

    Don't. First of all, to point a finger at anyone and call them a witch is a type of religious prejudice. Her moral compass is off if she is telling people who they are going to hell, thereby not agreeing with free will. She was doing this outside of office hours, so I wouldn't report this. But I would run in the opposite direction away from this woman. Make yourself unavailable!

  2. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    Please explain why in the world you would want to engage with someone like that?

  3. Anonymous

    Omg, stop going to lunch with this person and walk away!

  4. Anonymous

    She's going through a hard patch. You don't know the circumstances of her divorce. Maybe her husband was having an a fair with someone who is an avid Taylor fan. Are there other interests you share? Or common work interests or politics. Or you could see it as an opportunity for growth and personal development.

    It isn't about you. Don't personalise her comments. Presumably it.'s a work contact not a personal contact. see the big picture. You could ask probing questions.. well you aren't living her. What is the underlying issue? Are there some aspects of your work you aren't liking? Could you make negotiations on that? Are you finding it too intrusive? Do you have other work values you share? Can you find empathy or compassion? You meant to say you are finding it frustrating, could you learn frustration tolerance?. Are there others who may have similar interests at work as you?

  5. Anonymous

    You're not be required to be friends with her. Be courteous and professional, and otherwise just smile and nod.

  6. Anonymous

    Great advice. Steer clear of the drama. Be human, but be professional when required, don't give anyone a reason to tarnish your personal brand.

  7. Anonymous

    Choose who you surround yourself with carefully. I've seen peoples' "brands" in the workplace misconstrued based on the people they associate with. If you surround yourself with people who are grounded and display consistent behavior, you'll minimize drama and establish trust with others more easily.

    (If the Taylor Swift topic comes up again, or any other person she's critical of, consider saying "I pray for her to find her way. I can pray for you too." Mmm... better to steer clear of commenting altogether. Again, minimize drama.)

  8. Shelly Edwards

    I would not engage with her. If she offends you, then work with her professionally when needed but don’t engage with her personally. You are not required to be her friend.

  9. Anonymous

    This is somewhat painful for me to see. 20-22 years ago, I was in a similar position as her. I didn't believe anyone was a witch or tell anyone they were going to hell (although I did have a co-worker who prayed for us every Friday when we all went to happy hour), but I was not in a good place. I had just ended a 10-year relationship, experiencing freedom for the first time as an adult and was just out of control. No one took me aside and said "hey, I'm concerned about you and your recent behavior" and I continued on my path of destruction - I ended up losing my job and getting a dui before making any sort of attempt at turning myself around.

    I think the natural response, right or wrong, for many is to simply ignore the individual (although in my case, some just continued partying along side of me). Please be mindful that you are not a professional counselor. Sounds like you are a colleague rather than a close friend. Be friendly with her, but when she starts going off on a tangent about whatever redirect, change the subject, don't encourage the behavior. Recommend reaching out to your EAP. Consider having a discussion with your/her manager (depends on how that manager is though - are they empathetic or would they just be looking for an excuse to term the person?) saying "hey, I'm concerned about so and so, could you speak with them" or something along those lines.

  10. Anonymous

    who know why we were taught to fear witches and not those who burned them alive

  11. Anonymous

    Whenever someone tells me I'm going to hell I tell them "I'll send you a postcard."

  12. Anonymous

    I say, "I'll save a seat for you right next to me."

  13. Anonymous

    Don't take her seriously and keep a professional distance.

  14. Anonymous

    I have no patience for people who make these judgments on others, so I might not be as compassionate as others. My response is that I usually keep my beliefs private and would appreciate it if they do the same since my eternal life is my concern, not theirs. If they persist, I will tell them it is the last warning, and I intend to report them the next time. The third time, I would file a formal harassment complaint to HR.

    If she's going through a tough time, especially a crisis, it is her responsibility to seek help through therapy or some intervention program. It is not the job of her coworkers to take the brunt of her frustrations. If you have one, a reminder of your company's Employee Assistance Program (EAP) would be in order.

  15. Anonymous

    I learned long ago to not become friends or be "chummy" with co-workers. At work-related events, I keep it professional. It works for me.

    However, the last time somebody told me I was going to hell I said, "Good. I could use the vacation."

  16. Anonymous

    I'm not the OP, but I love this!!

  17. Anonymous

    When I have been told that I've told them they will be leading the way!

  18. Anonymous

    Lollll! I'm not OP, but this is perfect! Lead the way-- hahaha!!

  19. Nina Johnson

    Not the OP but I really like this suggestion and hope I remember it should the situation warrant it! :)

  20. Anonymous

    Right???!! From places I've worked, hell would be heavenly!

    I'm not OP, but love this--

    Why can't I seem to get the right comeback when needed?!

  21. Anonymous

    That's where all the fun people are!

  22. Anonymous

    Taylor Swift is definitely a good witch. Great energy and uplifts humanity.

  23. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    THEM: You're going to hell.

    ME: What's in hell?

    THEM: People like you.

    ME: What's in heaven?

    THEM: People like me.

    ME: You need to work on your threats.

  24. Karen Kleinman

    I'd congratulate her on her new job as heaven's gatekeeper.

  25. Anonymous

    Look up Jim Jeffries on heaven and he'll! [TW he does make a horrible sexist joke during that bit]

  26. Rose

    I hope you are not losing sleep from this. Stay in your lane and have a good night sleep.

  27. Anonymous

    People like this make me thankful I usually work from home.
    Ditto: avoid these office get-togethers as often as feasible.

    She's got a lot on her plate. I'd stay in my lane, outside of routine conversations.

  28. April Line

    First, don't judge. I don't see the correlation between divorce, binge drinking, and taylor swift being a witch. And you have no idea the shape of her life.

    Second, just don't talk about it. If she brings it up, change the subject.

    It took me a loooong time to get here, but you're not gonna be able to reason with a person who does not interrogate her own ideas before sharing them out loud. You'll only either alienate or enrage her, and neither thing would be great for your work life.

    Protect your own sanity and make no nevermind of hers. Not your business, not your problem.

  29. Anonymous

    Lol. I grew up in the Midwest and heard nonsense like this a lot. "You're going to hell" is usually a sign that a person is dissatisfied with their own life, and tries to bring others down using things that can't be measured or proven.

    If you have to give her an answer after she threatens your afterlife, just say "Let's focus on the present for now".

  30. Anonymous

    I left my abusive ex husband and many berated me because THEIR marriage was miserable. I'd suggest THEY leave, but I'd receive a million reasons why they stayed and why I SHOULD have (they knew nothing of my life other than no wedding band and a family photo on desk)

    People like to whine and judge. I thank social media for this- although this occurred long before.

  31. Anonymous

    Ignore. I work with someone who I feel is part of a cult. It’s none of my business.

  32. bradford mccormick

    She sounds toxic. Don't get involved with this. If she directly tells you you are going to hell, just apologize and say you do not want to get involved in personal matters at work.

    If she is interfering with your work and you can't stop it then you would have to tell your manager about it.

  33. Anonymous

    What? Engage like you should with anyone else you don't agree with or care what they think you care about. Redirect conversation, say hey we're all different and it's a best practice to not speak about religion in the workplace. At minimum that should not be a tough ask. So NOT an HR issue.

  34. Bosslady520080

    I'd ignore her comments. Change the subject and redirect.

  35. Anonymous

    I personally would want to hear every last detail of her Taylor Swift is a witch proof.
    But then again, I am queer, non-Christian, and grew up in a small town so I have learned just to turn all that nonsense into entertainment and tell people that I have a penthouse ready in hell.
    But really, it is a bit like if you did not approve of my lifestyle. Unless it directly relates to the job, just redirect the conversation or do what I did when I was younger, something like, "Talk of witches and hell in this way is offensive to my faith, so I would like you to stop." They probably won't stop, but it quiets them for a while and if you say it enough they go away.

  36. Anonymous

    Another response I've used is "I was brought up to believe that only God makes that judgment, so I could never say that about anybody."

  37. Anonymous

    Wow! You know, I would invest in buying a Taylor Swift t-shirt, you know, if your company has a casual Friday or something, and go to a year-round Halloween shop or look online and buy those contact lenses that make your iris/pupils red.

    Then, tell her you need to speak with her in your cubicle or office, put the contacts in and just speak in slow, one-word answers or phrases, while staring at her.

  38. Anonymous

    Seriously??!! Don't add fuel to the fire.

  39. Anonymous

    This is not only antagonistic but childish.
    Who cares what the girl thinks about Taylor Swift?! Are we not all entitled to our own opinions? The whole situation sounds more like a personal problem.

  40. Anonymous

    Sure. But her opinions are just weird.

  41. Anonymous

    Don't! If you suspect she is doing self harm surely bring it up to leadership or HR. If she is being rude and disrespectful or hateful to others tell her it is not acceptable, and walk away physically from the conversation. You can interrupt and say something like I am sorry but I no longer want to be part of this conversation. If you are at outside work related events as you mentioned and it is potentially going to reflect negatively upon the company or you definitely discuss it with your manager first and let them take it on as a situation to remediate with their leadership.

  42. Anonymous

    The best way to handle people like this?
    Walk away.

    If you must say something, state "I need to excuse myself, I have things to do".

    If unable to physically distance yourself (car ride, meal, etc), remain silent or say, if asked, "I don't have an opinion on the subject ".

    Keep it short and classy; do not lower yourself to their stupidity.

  43. Anonymous

    I second this. I work with someone who is a Q-Anon level conspiracy theorist and I shut down conversations when they head in that direction.

  44. Anonymous

    Don't blame you! I used to work with a chic who was into "alternative truths" and each morning, ran around quoting Bible verses to everyone. (My boss was empathetic because 'we ALL must tolerate her') so he let this go on and on.

  45. BansheeBailey

    How about be kind to her, then go your own way? That would put you several steps ahead of some of the commenters here.

  46. Georgia Singh

    I would tell her she's strange and living in 1540.

  47. T Snap

    Wow I’m just amazed that so many people on this forum constantly shame someone for being vulnerable and sharing something that concerns them, or they just want to

    get others feedback.

    that’s what this forum is for!! please stop making the OP feel shamed for posting

  48. Rose

    It's not shaming. She sounds a bit immature and likes drama. There are lots of people who are too old for this kind of stuff.

  49. Anonymous

    I'm the OP, and I want to thank you for your thoughts which are a little presumptuous. But again, thanks for whatever it is you are trying to convey.

  50. Anonymous

    Sounds to me like you have a personal issue with this coworker. You went out and realized she isn't your cup of tea. It isn't an HR issue at all if she's not being inappropriate at work. Try to keep things professional with her. If she insists on telling you information about herself that you would rather not listen to or engage with her on a personal level while at work or otherwise, then pull her to the side on a lunch break or your personal time to express to her that you would prefer to keep your relationship strictly professional without being mean about it and leave it at that. Whatever she thinks of Taylor Swift is irrelevant really. At the end of the day she isn't your cup of tea and you felt some type of way about her behavior while you were out. Just be gracious and stay away from her if she bothers you that much.

  51. Anonymous

    Stay on neutral topics.
    If she insists, remind her that there are probably people who think she's going to he'll, too. A last resort: Study up on religious wars and bore her to death.

  52. Anonymous

    Neutral topics, yes.

    If she insists, walk away.

  53. Anonymous

    You make it sound like there's something wrong with being "pro-Tay Tay" and liberal.

  54. Anonymous

    Stay away from discussing Politics. Religion and Taylor Swift

  55. Anonymous

    .....and medicine (ie vaccines); that, unfortunately, falls under politics

  56. Anonymous

    That’s the fun of working meeting all kinds of people with all kinds of beliefs. Just don’t make some of the mistakes I’ve made over the years. I would have probably questioned her and engaged in some useless argument or worse gossiped about her to others. Best to be cordial but not intimate and always be kind and respectful. Co workers will constantly be a source of surprise.

  57. Anonymous

    That is a weird comment. Are you ok?

  58. Anonymous

    That's an interesting comment.

  59. Anonymous

    Weird comment. Just off and smells of insecurity.

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