Would like to hear feedback:

Anonymous

March 3,2024 at 8:55PM UTC

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Would like to hear feedback:

I have a colleague overstepping, and it's very stressful.

I direct a large team of product owners. The colleague who is not working collaboratively is relatively new to this field, but not the company.

I can sense that she is insecure, and I know she's trying to show people she can lead new things, but -- she is trying to direct and take credit for work that one of my product teams is fully responsible for.

It's confusing teams outside of our department, as they know that I oversee all of these product teams, and it's not helping how people view her.

I am senior than her, and I want her to understand that collaboration is much better than competition.

I've set up one to one meetings with her, and she either does not accept them or when we've met, she continuously speaks -- even when I try to interject.

How do I have her realize, that she is overstepping and that collaboration is the way to success -- without directly saying "you are overstepping!"?

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AnonymousMarch 3,2024 at 9:16PM UTC
You have tried the tactful approach and it's not sinking in.
Might be time for a more direct approach: "stay in your lane"
Debbie CreeMarch 3,2024 at 10:44PM UTC
If you have the authority, I would try coaching. Put it in writing and all parties should sign. It has a much bigger impact this way. If coaching does not work, it may require something more serious. Also, something I’ve learned is if you have a meeting like this follow it up with an email. Something you can refer to later if needed.
AnonymousMarch 4,2024 at 12:30AM UTC
I would suggest if you have another one-on-one meeting with her, stay in control of the meeting. You are the senior one here, you control where and when the meetings happen. If she has a valid reason to not be able to attend a meeting that's fine, but if she can attend, she needs to show up.
Tell her that she will get her turn to speak, and then you say what you need to say. Any attempt to interrupt or overtalk needs to be shut down. Speak to her calmly and plainly about the issue - let her take credit for her own work, not others. She does not need to be directing work, that is your job.
Following the meetings up with an email with a summary of what was discussed is a great way to keep records. If she fails to stop overstepping then it will require further intervention by someone else.
AnonymousMarch 5,2024 at 7:36AM UTC
Don't know if this would work in your situation, but I once had a similar situation and gave the overstepping person a responsibility that could have been covered but that none of us had the bandwidth to cover.
Worked out great and in the end the stream of criticism directed at the rest of us ceased and the person felt as if they were part of the team - so used their talents on our behalf. Obviously, may not always work out this well, but in this instance, the overstepping stopped.
DVDgoddessMarch 5,2024 at 2:10PM UTC
If this person is claiming the work is hers, who is she saying this to? I would go to the person she is trying to impress and have a meeting with them. Show them what the team is doing and accomplishing and how the work is parsed out. When she goes to that person to brag about her accomplishments, it will be obvious what she is trying to do. Meetings with her just reinforce her power.
AnonymousMarch 5,2024 at 5:38PM UTC
If you are not her direct manager start to document the issues and specifics. Bring HR or her manager into this and let them know that you want a solution to support her and also to limit the areas she touches because it is harming the work of others. Be firm don't back down.
AnonymousMarch 7,2024 at 2:01PM UTC
Directly say 'you are overstepping'. Sometimes you have to be that direct. Come in with examples of where it's happening and what the impacts are. If she tries to talk over you, call her on it. However, if you've already tried this tact and the situation has been continuing, it might be time to involve her management or HR. If it's hurting the company and your team, it's time to take stronger action. The other option is to start cutting her out of things so that she can't continue this behavior.