Work-life balance.

32 Comments

1. Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterFebruary 25,2022 at 6:24PM UTC

   Here's my contribution: I use the term "work-life blend" rather than balance. To me, balance connotes a teeter-totter - when one side goes down, the other goes up.

   Work-life blend, to me, connotes a blender. Sometimes we put more work "ingredients" into that blender...other times, more life "ingredients." The question then becomes: How does my blend taste right now? Have I put in the right ingredients, in the right amounts?

   I've done podcasts on this topic, including how to accommodate the times when you need more work "ingredients" (i.e., huge project with a tight deadline) and when you need more life "ingredients (i.e. sick family member).

   I think the bottom line is employee satisfaction. Is the blend they have working for them? Are they maximizing their time at work to be productive vs. just busy? Are they enjoying their time away from work to rejuvenate them...and help them satisfy other needs in their life?

   My two cent's worth...

2. CJB62February 27,2022 at 4:57PM UTC

   I love the term work life blend. And, yes during certain times, work or personal life is a bigger portion of the blend. The challenge (and I have personally been here quite a few times) is when you have a huge project at work at the same time you have a sick family member or need to focus on something at home. That’s where it feels like a balance issue between work and life and trying to deal with demands coming from different directions.

3. Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterMarch 1,2022 at 6:05PM UTC

   So true! These are the times when it is so important to 1) reach out to people who can help with aspects of your load (even the smallest thing can make a huge difference for you) and 2) get creative with how to accomplish what has to be done, and 3) prioritize and put anything that can be put on the back burner, on the back burner.

4. Melodie SoeterikFebruary 28,2022 at 1:59AM UTC

   May I please have a link to that podcast? Your words resonate with me.

5. Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterMarch 1,2022 at 6:08PM UTC

   Melodie,

   My team is in the process of moving my podcasts over to my new website - and this one isn't there yet. It's episode 50 of The Exclusive Career Coach podcast - you can find it wherever you listen to podcasts (I just don't have a link to send you at present).

6. AnonymousFebruary 25,2022 at 7:36PM UTC

   I agree that everyone is different and at different stages in their work-life balancing act

   I also believe that many people don't spend the time and effort to really understand their needs overall. Exercise, nutrition, sleep, personal connections, emotional well-being, spiritual health are all changing, evolving and the balance there needs very keen understanding so that work and life are both serving you well.

   So yes, it depends on the person but it also depends on dedication and acquired awareness and shifts made over time.

7. AnonymousFebruary 25,2022 at 7:49PM UTC

   Yes, in my 20s I worked so many hours, partied and vacationed and dated. Everything was 110%

   In my 30s I married, had & raised children, bought a house, and worked hard

   In my 40s I finished raising kids, paid for college and sold the big house. My career changed and was more about mapping out career moves and getting really serious about my retirement plans.

   In my 50s I traveled more, connected more with my creativity and committed to my health. Our kids married, we continued to work but worked smarter and less hours.

   In my 60s I've become very choosy where I work, what I commit to (no more startups for me) and our travel has focused on RV'ing and visiting the grandkids.

   Work-life balance has meant different things in each decade. A successful life is a learning adventure that is ever challenging and ever changing. As I move towards my 70s, I will consult. Volunteer and further reap the rewards of the lessons learned of a life well lived. Never perfect but with joy and a flexibility that was gained with time.

8. Ruth RobbinsFebruary 27,2022 at 3:19PM UTC

   You are a lucky and wise woman. You made this amazing life happen. You're probably a strong manager and have

   understood different times require different work/life blends. You have a life that is blessed from the sound of it. Be grateful.

9. Olivia WoolmanFebruary 25,2022 at 7:40PM UTC

   I use the term “work/life blend” also because everything gets mixed up together and you have to deal with work and life as it comes at you. As a working parent, I always feel the pull to support my family and be productive at work; then make time for me sometimes too. It can be draining. There’s no one size fits all and being ok with that helps.

10. AnonymousFebruary 27,2022 at 12:57PM UTC

    The piece by anne-Marie slaughter really resonated with me when I read it. I have two children and a big career. I am the breadwinner for my family. My husband is self employed, but I am an executive and make 3x what he makes. I have found myself over the years getting very bitter. I’ve missed out on so much with my kids. They went to day care. I have worked at home after making dinner. I do laundry and clean. These are all things I choose to do., and I understand that. But sometimes I’m just tired and would like to have someone that I could rely on so that I could have more “balance” or tip the scales my way a bit more. Once my oldest graduates from high school I’ll probably make some changes in my personal life structure, which will be expensive but worth it. Both of my kids have expressed that they just want my time. That’s the toughest thing.

11. AnonymousFebruary 27,2022 at 1:19PM UTC

    I m in the same boat .
    Although my husband does a lot with housework and the kids, the kids always want me. I m hoping to get to a place where I can financially afford to work less. I would be happy to cut my pay check by half to work 50% less hours except there is no such thing for executive level jobs.

12. AnonymousFebruary 27,2022 at 2:29PM UTC

    I’m trying to save a bit extra each month so I can build up a savings that can sustain me. So I am definitely sacrificing some kids time. Also it’s hard to explain to my kids and husband that I want to change the standard of living they have become accustomed to (which I allowed to happen-an offset probably of working mom guilt ) - but I have always just supported myself and there is a definite fear of relying on others going on :)

13. AmandaMarch 6,2022 at 2:28AM UTC

    Fully agree with this - I'd absolutely take a 50% pay cut for 50% of my hours but I don't know of any companies that do part-time professional jobs well. Does anyone?

14. Jessica Hill-KnudsonFebruary 27,2022 at 9:19PM UTC

    My suggestion, hire out for the things you can, like housecleaning.

    And don’t put off your life until some future “someday”, like when a kid graduates. Make your life outside of work important now.

15. AnaFebruary 27,2022 at 10:52PM UTC

    You do so much! Have you considered hiring a "house manager" to take care of household chores, pick up groceries, Rx's, clean, maybe get family dinner on the table for you once a week? Could this be a way for you to support your own needs.?

    Do we, as women, discount our own contribution... and forget, in our exhausted state, that's it's allowed to contract help? Just because we can do the laundry doesn't mean we HAVE to do the laundry. And there are so many other women out there today who could do w the extra money and flexibility of being a house manager.

16. Stephanie KellyFebruary 27,2022 at 1:45PM UTC

    As a former workaholic, her piece really struck a chord with me. Even though I read it before I had kids, I completely resonated with the idea that I couldn't have a life (inclusive of a thriving relationship, hobbies, family time) and a career. And much of that stemmed from my belief that to do a good job at work meant that I had to do it perfectly. That perfectionistic thinking drove me to consistently work 70-hour weeks and completely burnout many times over. I remember my manager and therapist each suggesting that maybe I strive for "good enough" so I could reclaim the life I had given up. As a lifelong perfectionist, that sounded like a terrible - and quite frankly - completely unrealistic idea. It was against every fiber of my being. But after reflecting on it and making a simple yet powerful tweak, I unlocked the key to ending the burnout and reclaiming my life. Instead of "good enough" - I wondered if I could focus on delivering work that was good AND enough. Work that wowed my clients and moved their business forward. And work that still allowed me to grab drinks with friends at happy hour, or connect with my husband after a long day. Shifting from perfection to "good and enough" completely transformed how I saw work, and how I started to live my life. I wrote about it here, if you're interested to learn more: https://www.prettycoolcoaching.com/blog/how-to-reclaim-your-life-with-three-words

17. Lori Ann DeLappe-GrondinFebruary 27,2022 at 4:28PM UTC

    I absolutely think it's worth a bigger conversation as we never know when something we say will resonate, even if only with one person. Someone posted that they use blend instead of balance, I like that. I aim for that because of the pandemic has taught me anything, it's that something's are more important.

18. AnonymousFebruary 27,2022 at 7:12PM UTC

    I’ll toss this out here-has anyone seen a change with the “balance” or “blend” since Covid?
    Ever since I started working remotely, my kids and husband don’t seem to understand that I’m actually WORKING. It’s been tough since my son sees me at my desk in the kitchen when he gets home, but I can’t always drop what I’m doing and make him a snack. He was fairly self sufficient prior to the remote work lifestyle. And my husband saw it as an opportunity to “recapture marital bliss” UGH. I’m even more tired than before so don’t even come near me in the middle of the day when I have 5 minutes between meetings. Most days I can’t even get lunch for myself, but he will wait and see if I’m going to cook anything and then sigh and make a sandwich. . It just seems to have made everything more stressful and honestly I wish my employer just made everyone come back but instead they made us all remote! ?

19. AnaFebruary 27,2022 at 11:12PM UTC

    Try to move your "office" out of the kitchen. I think that "working remotely" on the kitchen table devalues what you are doing. It may signify balancing the checkbook rather that running the world!!

    Can you set up in a corner of the dining room you never use (?) Or in a corner of the bedroom?? - Use a screen to close off the desk to signify once you're done for the day. Maybe build a small she-shed. Any of these ideas make it visually easier for others to see you're "at work".

    Stay amazing! Super woman was built in your image!

20. MidwestMaven456February 27,2022 at 11:18PM UTC

    Balance is about what is important, and people and relationships are the most important. Don’t look back and regret this. You have a good career, a husband who loves you and children who want you in their lives. Keep it that way by knowing what to do and what not to do.

    Don't miss this opportunity. Your husband wants to be with you and so do your kids. If you want to have a good solid relationship with them and recover from the crazy of Covid, make them a priority. Schedule time for them like you would a client. Have alone time with your husband at breakfast, do lunch with the kids one day, have daily cookies and milk on the calendar. Put a working dinner down with him and you both working at the kitchen table to do bills or office work. Knock off early one day each week for family time. Walk during your lunch hour with hubby or do pilates with the kids.

    Think outside the box on how to take care of things. Take this time to teach the kids about responsibility and having to do work and then play, hence the cookie time. Plan one night a week for takeout, one night of breakfast for supper like cereal, one night of tv frozen dinners.

    Your mental well-being needs to be tended to as well as your physical and spiritual side. Talk with your husband and explain how you’re feeling boxed in and under pressure to do it all. You can make your personal life, his daily life and your married life that much better.

    Remember that work will never miss you, only what you give them. Work will replace you the second you move on to a new job, get sick, promoted, demoted or die. People will be there for you long after your job is a memory.

21. Beverly RuyleFebruary 28,2022 at 2:34PM UTC

    Any way you can move your desk out of the kitchen?

22. AnonymousFebruary 27,2022 at 9:23PM UTC

    Work-life balance is an incredibly important topic. So much so that I am actually writing my dissertation on the relationship between remote work, boundary management, burnout, and toxic work environments.

23. AnonymousFebruary 28,2022 at 1:17PM UTC

    Everyone in my industry is working 60-hour weeks right now. This has been going on for two years. My employer refuses to increase salaries. This year’s employee of the year gave notice two weeks ago. I was last year’s employee of the year. I’m giving my notice when I get to work in an hour. The short-sightedness is surprising in this market. I don’t mind working that much because I love what I do, but the one-way loyalty has me very bitter. I know I have trouble with boundaries so I’ll be working on that and pinching pennies until I make my next move.

24. Morgan GaynorFebruary 28,2022 at 3:13PM UTC

    It is definitely an important conversation to have with your employer and something to think about when moving to a new company or organization. Everyone has different boundaries. If you are constantly pushing back the boundaries that you set for yourself, it will wear you down. Unfortunately, most companies' objective is for their work to get done, not your well being or work/life balance. A good company knows a well balanced employee is the most productive employee long-term, but if the culture they sold you is not the one that you are experiencing, that is something to think about.

25. AnonymousFebruary 28,2022 at 5:10PM UTC

    The statement “ why women can’t have it all applies to all human beings

    one must define what “ having it all actually means.

    Each age and stage in life presents with different opportunities, choices challenges and personal strife. There is no one path, one way, one formula.

    Balance is often difficult during our journey in life. Sometimes one requires to work more, study more, discipline ourselves more than usual

    When your 19 you don’t know what you don’t know. To be a CEO to be a professional Lawer

    Since the 1960’s with the role of contraception women have been able to make personal choices for their reproductive lives. We now as women are more educated at least in this forum and are delaying the possibilities of motherhood while being told our careers are number 1- faced with little to no qualified men as they drop out of the college .

    To be any successful professional takes time, commitment and all you got. Ask any Doctor or Partnered female lawyer , partner at Goldman or any other investment house working 90 plus hrs from their 30’s thru 30’s . Yup- just try finding time to date. A fulfilling life is more than a successful career whatever that is.

    You don’t want to look back at 35-40 ehen your finally successful making big bucks & got your act together to say ……… Fir what did I do this for? It’s back breaking & exhausting and no family no men no children can be a choice just know when you make the big bucks there are sacrifices . There are sacrifices when you choose to do whatever one chooses. If you want a fulfilling life DONOT put 100% into working for corporate s America - PUT 150% into your own skill set, your own mind, body health & spirit and live within your means, identify what your true values are.

    Noone can tell you what your gonna feel like at 40, 50 & Beyond & trying to be superwoman is Impossible, if that’s what having it all is. Great health is #1, relationships & people can make life good & not so good. Choose wisely. Taking care of your body, relational sex, children , nutrition, education , finances & living a balanced life is a journey all by itself. That’s what having it all is for being human.

    Here in the U.S. Hsving it all is an illusion. No one can do it all at once. One day at a time facing your obstacles along the way with authenticity.

    You can only say this after you have reached milestones in life after 40, 50 & 60. Cuz you don’t know what you don’t know till later.

26. AnonymousFebruary 28,2022 at 5:34PM UTC

    A huge topic, but I want to share what work/life balance looks like to a company that really means it.

    After 30 years at US companies, my husband now works remotely for a global information services firm based in the Netherlands (home of work/life balance). He chose his 8-hour shift time (and can adjust it any time he needs to). During that time, he can take a lunch break, go to a Dr. appt or whatever he needs without asking or letting anyone know. They have Friday zoom "happy hours" where they drop in and don't talk about work but get to know each other. And here's the best part: You are not allowed to send or respond to email or phone calls before or after your 8-hour shift. As he says: It's not a life-sucking setup. Just wanted to share what it can look like on the company side. More US companies should operate like this.

27. Robyn McCabria KelsoFebruary 28,2022 at 7:29PM UTC

    Holy cow - I think I want to work for this group! :)

28. EMILY KIKUE FRANKFebruary 28,2022 at 6:47PM UTC

    I think finding the balance starts way before the job-search does. I encourage my clients to write down their own definitions of work-life balance and ask around in a particular industry/company to see if that's possible. Then, once they're hired, they set specific boundaries and communicate those to colleagues and supervisors. There's obviously more to the process than that, but for the sake of posting, that covers the key points.

29. Robyn McCabria KelsoFebruary 28,2022 at 7:28PM UTC

    As someone who is a Gen-X'er I now know that I can have it all - but not all at once. I think maybe that might be a better way to frame it. I have a mostly wonderful career, two healthy, happy, productive adult sons and a supportive spouse. Was it hard? You bet - it seemed like when things were going well professionally, the home front would take a hit or vice versa. I also think my field (education) does lend itself to some flexibility, historically, if not necessarily currently.

    Just my two cents....

30. Bradford McCormickFebruary 28,2022 at 7:42PM UTC

    The more "weight" a person has to balance, the harder it is, yes? An "unattached" young lady fresh out of school with no kids and a good job and an apartment can probably "balance" easier than a somewhat older woman with several kids screaming at her all day because in-person day care (aka school) is closed due to Covid, a husband who comes home each nite beat down by the office and his commute, a big mortgage, and her parents [who also live in the house] who are becoming senile and she's the only person left in the family to care for them and she doesn't have a maid and, oh, yes, they get Covid, too, yes? ....

    Moral of this story: If you are that first young lady fresh out of school, look before you leap into "the American dream", or whatever it's called these days. It's easier to get in than to get out. Obviously it would help if America was more like Sweden or just about any other first-world country which provides more social support to women. But that does not look like it's going to happen, does it, especially with Ms. Barrett on the Supreme Court whose ultimate aim is probably not just to revert "Roe" but to revert Griswold v. Connecticut. I'm worried about Social Security and Medicare going bankrupt.... At least we're not in Afghanistan.

31. Cat the CoachMarch 1,2022 at 6:02PM UTC

    I agree with so much of what has been shared. Wonderful comments and insights. I recommend the book "Burnout" by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. They talk about "human giver syndrome", which is basically the expectation for women to be the caretakers, the selfless ones, and to subjugate their own needs for the good of society. This has been the paradigm for eons, but I do think it's beginning to shift, and the need for that shift has become more pronounced since the pandemic. Our caretakers are burned out beyond capacity, women have had to leave the work force in droves to care for their children and ailing families, and we are facing a mental health crisis, soon to be followed by a physical health crisis, since stress accounts for 90-95% of all disease and is at an all-time high for many of us. The "have it all" question only becomes relevant when you are not fighting for survival every day. And even the feeling of fighting for survival, women are taught to minimize this and to hide feelings of overwhelm, desperation, isolation.

    Georgene, I definitely don't think it's too individualized to discuss, and I'm so happy you posed the question. Work-life balance is essential to the well-being of our society, and it has been ignored for too long. The definition of what it means to "Have It All" is tricky and can be very individualized. I think part of the work is in redefining this away from what corporate America and commercials have led us to believe we "should" want. I see a trend among younger generations who are rejecting the notion that "having it all" means a never-ending focus on climbing the corporate ladder, and seeking material wealth.

    For me and the clients I work with, Thing One is focusing on mental and physical well-being. And part of this is getting crystal clear on what lights us up, what we really want, what's really important to us, letting go of things we thought we wanted, or felt like we should want. And for God's sake, letting go of productivity and career achievement as the only measures, or even the most important measures, of success. Of self-worth.

    It takes an ongoing conversation, and the recognition that there is not a one size fits all answer. But having the conversation will continue to create shifts in cultural norms and societal expectations - the container in which we all try to answer these questions for ourselves.

32. AmandaMarch 1,2022 at 9:25PM UTC

    For years, I have been wondering how to start a conversation around the importance of providing part-time roles for those in "white collar" professions. I have more than 20 years' experience at two large consulting firms, and I have found it disheartening to see how those firms are still reluctant to offer part-time arrangements for those who want them. For those of us (myself included) who spoke up and requested a flexible (ie part-time) arrangement - generally we kept our full-time responsibilities and worked "reduced hours" at reduced pay in order. I recently quit after 14 years at my current organization because I had a (C-level) manager who couldn't reconcile the idea of a part-time role at my level (director). I think this is a huge missed opportunity and am now directing my efforts at finding those who are researching this topic (and those who support re-entry for working moms, although by no means do I think working moms or women are the only ones who would benefit from part-time roles) to see how I can lend a hand in helping them spread the word. Please feel free to comment below if you know of folks or organizations who are tackling this subject!