How to deal with a co-worker's husband's noise during meetings?

Anonymous

June 11,2022 at 12:33PM UTC

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How to deal with a co-worker's husband's noise during meetings?

My company has chosen not to go back to the office, which is great. Unfortunately, some of my co-workers have a lot of background noise in their homes. One, in particular, has a husband who is also working from home. They're often in meetings at the same time, or she's in a meeting and he's on the phone - and he's LOUD. Very loud. I have trouble hearing what she's saying during meetings AND she doesn't mute herself when she isn't speaking, so his noise is ever-present.

People have made jokes about feeling like they're in a meeting with him, too. We've also asked that she mute herself when she isn't speaking but she just won't make a habit of it.

The company has an extremely flat structure - there are no managers at all. The executive to whom this person reports is on maternity leave for another 3 months.

What should we do in the meantime?

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AnonymousJune 11,2022 at 1:44PM UTC
Can the meeting host ensure that the mutes are on when info is being presented by someone else? I know that usually that can be done manually by the host if needed. Also, having a side conversation with the person to explain what's happening on your end. Is the meeting recorded? If so, I would play back part of the meeting so she can hear it from your perspective. Finally, if all that fails, I would say that due to confidentiality reasons for both companies, there needs to be a separation of work space (or at a minimum use the mute button) so that information isn't being shared inadvertently. Good luck.
Audrey KirschJune 11,2022 at 2:33PM UTC
By not muting when she is not talking, she is being rude and disrespectful to the rest of the group. If she knows in advance when a meeting will be, she should be able to find a spot in her home or even in her car where she can be away from her husband. My team has meetings with people who have kids and spouse that are home, are in their cars, motor homes or at the airport and manage not to involve the whole group with any background noise. Don’t let one person disrupt what you are trying to accomplish in meetings. Each one of you should speak up whenever you can’t hear what is being discussed. No more nice and polite since that’s not working. Mute her by force if necessary. Send a joint email or team chat to let her know that meetings cannot continue with her husband’s constant distraction. Good luck!
AnonymousJune 11,2022 at 8:12PM UTC
Craft a polite email asking her to mute hubby or work in another room due to distraction. Keep it simple and to the point
Jocelyn LyonsJune 12,2022 at 12:46AM UTC
I agree with the comment below - perhaps you can be the meeting host and mute everyone? If you plan to address the issue directly with her, try to keep any personal feelings out of it and focus on the problems it presents for getting work done.
Erica MitchellJune 12,2022 at 10:19AM UTC
I'd be completely honest with her and ask her to respect her coworkers by finding somewhere where he won't be heard. You also have the option to mute her as the host.
customer JohnsonJune 12,2022 at 12:46PM UTC
You may want to be sensitive to the spousal situation as well. The spouse appears not to value the wife’s world — oblivious to her work role — and the need to share the same space. You might suggest that his conversations are being publicly broadcast by virtue of his volume thus compromising any privacy expectations as a defense for action on the co-worker’s part. The ‘mute all’ is difficult for meetings — she may have to go to a coffee shop (or into a closet or the bathroom! and shut the door) if there is no resolution within WFH. This could be a tricky (narcissism??) relationship issue or just someone hard of hearing who speaks loudly as a matter of fact.
Valerie RiegerJune 13,2022 at 12:49PM UTC
I wouldn't say that the spouse doesn't value his wife's world. My husband doesn't hear as well as he used to and he is LOUD - all the time. His whispers are louder than most of my normal conversational tones. He means no harm, he just talks loudly so that he can hear himself.
AnonymousJune 13,2022 at 1:04PM UTC
I agree. You never know what someone deals with in their home life. OP together with team members can look into a headset policy and make a kind suggestion.
AnonymousJune 12,2022 at 3:01PM UTC
Maybe just be grateful that you have the opportunity to work from home since many people don’t.
AnonymousJune 12,2022 at 4:00PM UTC
Right??? First world problems!
AnonymousJune 12,2022 at 6:02PM UTC
Totally!
The op needs to be extra grateful to all the service workers they come in contact with from now on in my opinion…
AnonymousJune 13,2022 at 1:52PM UTC
wow, sorry you are feeling so resentful that someone else has the opportunity you don't. Maybe you should be grateful that there is a site like this for people to come to when they want to ask advice on job related issues instead of being such a rude person.
AnonymousJune 13,2022 at 3:09PM UTC
I am so grateful there is a site like this.
I’m just being real whether you feel it’s rude or not. I’m sure this is an issue for the op but, it doesn’t feel as serious in comparison to a lot of major job concerns people have in 2022. If I’m a rude person for pointing out we should be thinking about gratitude then whatever.
also my advice says nothing to the effect of me being against any of the advice others are giving. I can see the co worker in this story also having a hard time with the fact that she and her husband have meetings at the same time when they have limited space.
AnonymousJune 16,2022 at 1:02PM UTC
The poster replied with feedback that they thought put the situation in perspective. Anonymous at 9:52am, lets welcome this diversity of thinking.
AnonymousJune 12,2022 at 5:54PM UTC
Sdk her yo hang up until she can reschedule with a quiet environment. Explain no one can hear her.
Clydene HorriganJune 12,2022 at 9:25PM UTC
Politely explain the issue and suggest a better headset. There was a great conversation here about headsets that block out the noise in the room. Maybe your IT team can make a recommendation or even purchase them.
Vikki Mueller EspinosaJune 13,2022 at 2:07PM UTC
On our platforms we can go on the attendees name and right click and mute them ourselves. They can then come off mute when they want to speak. Mute her every time you hear noise. She won’t know who did it. She’ll hear a note that says she’s been muted. You’ve asked her nicely. Now just do it.
Tania SalaneckJune 13,2022 at 6:23PM UTC
I don’t think the OP is being rude at all. If you’re in a meeting and trying to discuss details and can’t hear because of a colleague’s situation, then that’s a detriment to the team. I think there are some great ideas, from muting anyone not talking to the sound canceling headsets. I hope you’re able to find a solution that allows for better collaboration.
AnonymousJune 13,2022 at 7:20PM UTC
I always come from a place of providing value. Look up your company’s expense policy for headsets and send it to her. Keep it light touch and kind. Just say, noticed there was some background noise. I’ve heard these noise cancelling head phones are great. Maybe your manager will approve purchase of a set. Here’s the expense policy. Depending on your tone you could end up escalating the situation. The other person (esp if you curry favor with peers) could be viewed as bullying. Be kind and tread lightly.