My self-esteem is below ground after this job...

11 Comments

1. ILHAM ALAMMay 24,2022 at 5:37PM UTC

   I’m so sorry to hear this. I can guarantee you that we all have had these experiences: where the job didn’t turn out to be what you expected, your performance and confidence suffers, your relationship with your managers is falling apart.

   I know I have been in this position, especially when I worked in retail banking for a bit. I got fired after my probationary period ended in 3 months and realized that banking was not for me.

   We have all been there.

   Keep looking for work if you can. See if the performance improvement plan can actually work out and you can improve your performance. If you are looking for work immediately, let your friends and family know so that they can connect you with opportunities. Talk to any mentors and references you have and if they can help with leads. Is it possible to ask your previous employer for any opportunities or to get your old job back?

2. Tiana MumfordMay 24,2022 at 5:53PM UTC

   Hi there ,

   I know it’s tough ! Don’t ever loss faith in yourself! You are very marketable if you have to tell yourself that daily do so. Keep pushing something will give for you . If you are that unhappy try agency and mark this job down as experience good or bad . Reach out to former colleagues if need be . In the end you have to leave before she fires you . The thing is you never know when. Keep pushing!

3. Priya KeefeMay 24,2022 at 6:24PM UTC

   A month is not long for a job search, even if it feels so. Job searching can be demoralizing, and it is made so much harder when one's current work situation is unhealthy. I hope you are setting time aside to do things that bring you comfort. Do you have a list of things you've accomplished in work, life, or volunteer work? If not, check out the STAR story method. Of course, not all accomplishments are quantifiable, so check out the accomplishment examples here: https://www.jobscan.co/blog/dont-need-numbers-accomplishments-resume/. Taking time to make stock of your accomplishments will hopefully help you feel better - and you can use them in your job search. Good luck!

4. AnonymousMay 24,2022 at 6:27PM UTC

   Hello,

   I felt the same way. I have never been fired or "let go" ever in any of my work. I transition my job to online and I have different expectations as well. It turns out I wasn't good enough for the last contract I have with a client. I was very unhappy, exhausted, just no interest in the client's system whatsoever. I thought that the pay was very low, not worth my time, and I regret not realizing these before I was let go. The only difference from your situation is that my clients and I have a good relationship and even consider contacting each other again in the future. It's just we aren't a good fit to work together which is fine.

   Anyways, what I did is I went back from where I started, I figure out what I really want to do and start again. It's just a matter of time and what you are experiencing right now is a phase, know that it's normal, you have people around you who support you. It's very important to understand what you are as a person, what you really want to do in life, what job/work you want to do in order to feel fulfilled. The first thing I did after the bad experience I had is to accept it's happening, brainstorm solutions in a paper, whether you write them down, voice record it, or type it find the best way that works for you. Write down all your feelings and from there do your analyzation. Sort out your struggles, what's making you feel, how you feel. Remember to not be hard on yourself, take a deep breath, and organize your life. The 2nd thing I did was, write down my goals, what I want to do. Last month(this happened last month), I want everything organize, my desk, my life etc. so I write down all the task I need to do first. after that, I was able to perform better for myself. I reach out to people and decided to surround me with everyone who actually support me. Any social media accounts that don't make sense in my IG, I unfollow them. Instead I follow the people I talk to, who's there for me, who listens to me. I basically surrounded myself with love and support. I even join community on fb for example who are very supportive.

   You have to keep going. I know it's difficult but do not lose hope, have faith, and tons of love to yourself. Remember it all begins from yourself, your inner you! Start building yourself up! you got this!!

5. Lucero S-TMay 24,2022 at 7:09PM UTC

   I think there comes a time when we feel as if our experience and performance at work aren't measuring up to where we want or need it to, and that's okay. I know it is super hard when you feel this way to keep your head held high. however, you showed at some point when you were hired that you could do this job, which means you are that powerful, probably even more!

   If you're in a performance plan, it doesn't mean you're a bad worker- yes it might be your final chance to keep your job, but it is also an opportunity to get as much feedback as possible. Most of the time, when your supervisor or team leader sees that you are trying your utmost best to improve they will do their best too.... and if they don't then maybe that's not the kind of work culture you want anyway.

   My point: take this instead as a learning experience and do your best to hold your head high. It is easier said than done, I know. I do think that you are making a good decision in looking for something else as well because this experience will have probably changed how the work culture around you feels. In either case, I hope you are able to keep faith in yourself and find something that works for you and doesn't affect your overall health.

   Good luck!

6. AnonymousMay 24,2022 at 7:22PM UTC

   Trust me - this is not rejection but a redirection. I was downsized without warning from a job I really liked and my work mates were like my family. I was humiliated and thought I would never find a good job in the area where I lived. Turns out a better opportunity with more support and growth potential was just around the corner. Try not to dwell or internalize this. I'm an HR person by training and I find the PIP to be a demeaning way to cover the company's interests while demoralizing the employee - it's not about you, it's about their CYA. I wish people would just have a frank conversation - this isn't working for us, is this working for you? how can we help you transition to something that's a better fit either inside or outside of the company? The bottom line is not everyone is the right fit for every company and every job. That doesn't mean you are a failure or that you aren't employable. It means you haven't found your sweet spot yet. I recommend starting with a gratitude/thank you list to yourself - list out all the times you've succeeded. Learn from this experience what to ask in your future interviews, what kind of place you want to work and what kind of boss you thrive working with so when the next opportunity comes along - and it will - you feel confident in your decision. Also, someday when you are in a leadership/management role, remember how you feel now and do better than this example for your employees. Good luck to you!

7. AnonymousMay 24,2022 at 7:56PM UTC

   Does you company offer an EMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE PLAN? If so look into that benefit to see if therapy is offered? It will be free and it sounds like it will be a good way to help you cope.

8. AnonymousMay 24,2022 at 8:11PM UTC

   they don-t, but i've been going to therapy throughout this. it definitely has helped a lot

9. Stephanie KellyMay 24,2022 at 8:21PM UTC

   It sounds like there was a miscommunication somewhere along the way about what your job is and what your manager's expectations are about your job. That alone can cause an enormous amount of stress and anxiety.

   As you look for a new job, it sounds like you're doing that with a ton of self-doubt and frustration, stemming from this performance plan situation. That's really draining energy to try and start over from. You said that the 5 years of experience used to make you feel powerful... which can propel you towards your next opportunity with confidence and conviction, but right now, all the thoughts and feelings about your current situation are getting in the way. So, what if you made a list of 50 ways you're powerful and / or qualified for the new roles you're looking at? You almost need to re-prove (or at least remind yourself) of all the ways you're totally qualified and deserving of the roles you're looking for.

10. AnonymousMay 25,2022 at 11:37AM UTC

    try to talk yourself out of this negative mindset.
    U are only 5 yrs in the workforce. Your career for the next 30 yrs will be filled with ups and downs…it’s just part of the beast. Don’t get discouraged change your mindset and acknowledge that you’ve hit a mute point. Just bc your mgr does not value you does not mean your next gig will be the same. Just make sure when you allly elsewhere and land interviews, make you sure you are fully aware of the culture and environment. Do they hire people that look like you for similar positions? Ask questions during interviews to get a sense of the type of support you will receive. If offered a role, see if they will allow you to shadow, test drive the position for 2 weeks to help give you a realistic sense of what the job entails. Very few people ask for this but as a result many walk into hellish job roles they did not expect. So see this as a bump in the road. Nobody has a perfect career NOBODY. You are only 5 yrs in and have a long road ahead

11. AnonymousMay 25,2022 at 1:18PM UTC

    There is nothing like being a bad fit for a role to wipe out your self-esteem. I'm sorry you are going through this - I went through the same thing myself - PIP included. Hang in there. Just because you are not right for a specific role or company doesn't mean you are not a talented, marketable professional. What helped me was to look at my value outside of work to improve my mood - and then I took another look at the PIP. I scrolled past all of the reasons for the PIP (because I knew most of them were overblown fiction - designed to make me look way worse than I was) and focused 100% of my attention on the goals to get out of it. That helped me not dwell on the negative, but instead put all of my energy into the things I had control over. Most PIPs include SMART goals (or at least try to). Mine had deliverables and dates. Since what I was told I needed to do didn't match up with what was written, I focused on creating the exact items from the plan rather than the verbal list of deliverables from my manager. Meanwhile, I took the PIP as an invitation to start a job hunt - which led to a better paying role in a much better company.

    One thing to understand is that a PIP is a horrible form of power - it is designed to change behavior through fear, which is the worst of the five ways to influence people. Depending on the culture of your company, it can be a black mark on a manager as well, as it demonstrates a serious lack of skill on their part in conflict management. I've had problem employees myself, but I have never had to resort to a PIP to change behavior or cover my a** before firing someone. If you are at a company where managers regularly use PIPs, you are better off not sticking around.