Job depression is real.

47 Comments

1. Stella FeinbergJuly 3,2024 at 12:49PM UTC

   Hi

   I get it. You are not feeling valued.

   i feel you should find another job or something that makes you happy. Only you can make yourself happy, not a job. Working at a job you like of course helps. You are depressed. I do understand, since I too am going through this. I have found BetterHelp is great to reach out to for your own sanity. In the meantime maybe you should go in a different direction in your field for a change. I have been in public accounting for over 35 yrs and will always complete tax returns but am making a new career switch to a controller position.

   First priority is to deal with your depression and then move on from this toxic place that doesn’t value you.

2. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 12:50PM UTC

   You need to take time away from your desk go for a walk. You need a therapist. If can’t find an in person one try a virtual one through your insurance. Co pays maybe $10. The too fast can be concerning for people because of accuracy and quality of the work.

3. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 12:53PM UTC

   I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. I went through it too and the manager ended putting my name on the list for work force reduction. Keep your head high and know that this too shall pass.

   I am still looking but keep reminding myself this is temporary.

4. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 1:44PM UTC

   I've taken the advice here to take my focus and really invest it in myself, my family and my interests (not career interests) as a balance to the work drain. I found this relieves my mind and heart and allows me to feel lighter and more clear. After awhile I've found the dread lessens and I have distance.

   I bake, garden and volunteer at my local food bank. It helps me so I offer the idea as it may help you.

5. Pamela BaptisteJuly 3,2024 at 2:14PM UTC

   Start looking at other options. I know it may not be easy but you don't sound as if you are in a good place at all.

6. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachJuly 3,2024 at 2:26PM UTC

   I am so sorry you are feeling this way, if you want to do a free coffee chat coaching call on this, message me on LinkedIn. I'd love to help you get to a more neutral place internally while you are looking for something else. @ Maegan Little on LinkedIn

7. Betty StridenJuly 3,2024 at 3:52PM UTC

   I totally understand that feeling. There's truly nothing worse than working somewhere where the culture and colleagues are not a good fit. I just turned in my notice at such a place. Managed to last 18 months but I just couldn't do it anymore. People say to be passionate about things outside of work but we spend the majority of our days at work. Wouldn't it be nice to at the very least not be in a state of constant dread on the way to the office ?

   All this to say is, keep pushing through and keep applying. Something that's a better fit will come your way.

8. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 7:24PM UTC

   I've been in this position myself, and this would be a toxic work environment that I need to get out of as soon as possible. The more you give the more they take and the more they want.

9. AnonymousJuly 3,2024 at 9:47PM UTC

   I'm stuck too. You aren't alone. I've been working one full time job for over 3 years and another part time job for over a year and a half now. I'm feeling the sting the same way everyone else does that is in their mid to late 40's right now. I have no retirement set aside because neither job provides any kind of benefit, and I feel like I'm just working until I burn out, end up sick, get better and repeat. I also do not get paid half of what I should be. I am not leaving until I have something else lined up though. Job depression is real, (I have it) the lack of time I have to do anything at all for myself or work on anything needing attention has been out of the question for the last year...and I am burning out. I hoped with two jobs, I would be able to afford to help my family and pay things off. So far, all I've been able to do is help my family. I have to play hooky to get a day off to get anything done and then I've lost a day's pay. There is a lot I regret not having done differently and it's not quite as easy for me to just up and go to another position. I feel you. Hang in there.

10. AnonymousJuly 4,2024 at 2:11AM UTC

    Wow, after reading your post I was (can’t find the word here)! Deep thoughts! The reason being, I just resigned from a job where I felt my only conclusion was suicide. I do though, have bipolar I with psychosis, so I took a literal mental beatdown at the job I was working. Thing is, I LOVED that job. Despite of, I actually did come up with a plan to commit suicide, I had it all mapped out. I promised myself to sleep through the night and get up and work on the plan. When I woke up the next morning, I felt different, so I came up with a suicide plan to kill my job, because the people at my job did not matter to me, nor had either of their actions contributed enough value in my life for me to commit suicide. I called my doctor and I informed my counselor how I felt. I then worked on committing suicide with my job and not my life! I put in my two weeks notice. I then made separate last day emails for the company, my boss and team lead, and their bosses. I personalized the emails and made sure to tell them about the latest occurences I went through and how I made a plan to commit suicide. I did let some coworkers in on me sending the emails and my coworkers were like they are not going to read that email they gone just delete it. I was like whatever, this is my suicide note to this job! That job was about as toxic as your job and when I pressed send on my last day, I felt like I took my power back. And btw they read the emails (kept up with coworkers there) and HR reached out to me informing me that they had gotten and read my email. My message to you, it is ok to feel suicidal, it is NOT normal, but you are not alone, however, you can do something about it. You can leave that job and you can leave in style, with dignity and grace. To me, sending them last day emails were a must and I know people think oh you shouldn’t have done that. I could care less what people feel like I should or should not do. I have listened to people my whole life and have gotten to no better mental place. So I prayed before sending the emails and I hit send, trusting in God to take me to my next place. Take your power back, because jobs during these times can make you feel lifeless with all the crap they are doing. You have the experience needed, look for another job and just move on by sending a 2 weeks notice when you get you a new job. Stay positive! I stepped out on faith and I am a firm believer of God, so I have no income to look forward to, but I trust God. I won’t lie, at times, I am nervous that I could lose everything, but I look back at what I left and I praise God everyday that I have left a place so toxic, that I even came up with a plan to commit suicide. I don’t know if you believe in God, but he is who I am using through my journey because that has been my only hope! I wish you the best…..

11. AnonymousJuly 4,2024 at 12:31PM UTC

    I appreciate your honesty and can somewhat relate to how you feel. I pray a door opens for you soon.

12. Karen HillJuly 4,2024 at 12:39PM UTC

    You are definitely NOT alone in your thoughts & feelings… I’m in a similar situation that has my manager, who I trained, doing toxic things. There is favoritism, disrespect and very poor judgement. You are correct in referring to the people as children in adult bodies. I’ve worked for this ‘financial’ institution for 17+ years and am at the same level I was when this all started. I refuse to bull doze people or ‘suck up’ to anyone to further my position! It’s a shame that knowledge & experience and so overlooked these days. I too am over it and been looking elsewhere in this field but will hold hope that something will come to change my situation. I can only say that you are definitely not alone - my thoughts and prayers go out to and hope you find a satisfying job soon!

13. carolina girlJuly 4,2024 at 1:07PM UTC

    I can DEFINITELY UNDERSTAND! Women are the WORST when it comes to nitpicking and bitching! You’re either too slow or too fast! You have my sympathy. This damn economy is such a mess and people work hard , but still can’t earn enough to get by.?‍??‍?

14. AnonymousJuly 4,2024 at 1:35PM UTC

    Yes. Job depression is real, and the end game is not pretty. I am so thankful that you have averted the train scenario. That will not solve anything. You should reach out to mental health resources if you have an EAP where you work. If you feel at risk for following through on your plan, pick up your phone first and dial 998 for help and intervention. You are worth much more than what you are going through.

15. Erin Thomas, Career + Leadership CoachJuly 4,2024 at 1:51PM UTC

    Oof, I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. There are A LOT of horrible leaders out there that have created horrible working environments - and there are A LOT of really great ones.

    Don’t give up hope! Double down on your efforts to land a better offer in an environment that lifts you up, rather than drags you down. Yes they’re out there, I promise! You just have to look for them with discernment and share your specific value proposition with them tailored to their goals/challenges.

    Good luck and don’t hesitate to work with a career coach if you feel you aren’t making progress and/or too stuck to go at it alone.

    Erin

16. Maggie SoldanoJuly 4,2024 at 1:53PM UTC

    First, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Please make your mental health your number one priority (for yourself and your loved ones) and reach out and get mental health support.

    I was in a similar situation about a year ago. What I didn't realize as I was white-knuckling through the experience is that it chipped away so significantly at my self esteem... which in turn makes it very difficult to navigate the job hunt process — a cycle you don't want to be caught in.

    If I were to do things differently, I'd take a vacation — as long as I could possibly afford to take without risking my financial or healthcare benefits. In that time, I'd go deep into therapy to assess the damage on my mental health, and (while I'm on salary) hire a career coach. Not only would that set me up for dealing with the "through the rabbit hole" experiences that make no sense at work, I would be better equipped to promote myself externally to find a new job, OR have clearer options for leaving.

    You're not crazy. It just sounds like they need someone as loony as they are, and you're not it. Take care of YOU!

17. maria roseJuly 4,2024 at 2:02PM UTC

    y are experiencing what is called the “eagle complex “ while working with fellow coworkers are working with a “turkey complex “. Understandably the generation of workers today are more concerned with their emotional state and satisfaction versus the way you view working—you work to earn enough to support your financial needs—housing and food—over getting complete satisfaction with the job conditions because you know that if you don’t work you earn no income. I sympathize with your situation of feeling like the odd ball person because your view of your obligation is different from the current trend. There’s nothing wrong with your view towards doing the job as best as you can, despite others not being as productive. So what I am going to suggest is you start learning to lessen your expectations of the need to always appear busy and productive and try to slow down and spread out your efforts. Take those breaks that you are entitled to, use the employee lounge if available, make small talk with your colleagues—I didn’t say become BFFs, try not to be annoyed/ actually angry at any coworkers that you have to work side by side but you can say no to assuming their portion of the work assignment. It’s not your responsibility to do their work load just your own . What you are experiencing is a burnout of overachieving while your coworkers are coasting along. It’s going to take a while for you to get into the slower but still steady performance mode and to get used to not completing more than your assigned tasks and saying no to the others who have gotten so used to passing their job obligations on to you. Perhaps that’s what the supervisor was referring to when they mentioned your job performance. You unknowingly have assumed more work than you need while your coworkers are coasting in performance. Why frustrate and over exert yourself you don’t have to.

    I only suggest this because you have a financial need to have a job that pays you income and just quitting is not a good option, just based on your history and mental viewpoint of the need to have enough to pay for your necessities. Perhaps by doing this, you might find the time and mental attitude to explore other options. It’s hard trying to soar like an eagle while surrounded by turkeys but take it from another eagle it’s possible to see and be more positive and feel more appreciated.

18. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 11:09AM UTC

    I love that analogy, and thank you!

19. AnonymousJuly 4,2024 at 2:49PM UTC

    There is no job that is worth you feeling this way. I can say from experience there are a lot of work environments that can cause this feeling. If you work fast, you are not being challenged enough perhaps. You deserve better. The people that say such things fear your power and expertise. You deserve better. Also, think about what you really want to make you happy. Think about looking for another position. It's ok to consider seeking an objective third party discussion. I had to finally seek help from someone else so that I could really see what I needed in the past to move past such positions. The goal in your life I hope is to feel fulfilled. It is fine to pray. But part of that also involves not waiting for divine intervention, but working toward active change in your life, and perhaps your prayers are being answered more fully than you imagined. Perhaps you must be an active participant as well and reach out to others as you are for support. I am only speaking from my own experience. Thank you for reaching out. You must do what is right for you. Please take care of yourself.

20. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 11:07AM UTC

    Thank you!!

21. AnonymousJuly 4,2024 at 4:05PM UTC

    It's natural but you are living for the people in your family and loved ones and whom you care about. Hang in there and keep looking outside. Learn new skills earn new credentials and certifications and then sky is the limit. Good luck. Stay strong

22. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 11:07AM UTC

    Thank you!!

23. AnonymousJuly 4,2024 at 4:47PM UTC

    You need to balance the bs with some zen-ness in your day. Be sure to walk during lunch, and get out of the office for 2 breaks per day. Do slow down, she is telling you that. Take the feedback and make it work for you.

24. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 11:06AM UTC

    Thank you!

25. AnonymousJuly 5,2024 at 12:35PM UTC

    I recently watched this documentary on YouTube about Burnout at work, I think it’s by DW. I’m mentioning it because it talks about a lot of the things you mentioned here and it made me feel less … crazy (for lack of a better word). I would highly recommend slowing down and watching it at work ;)

26. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 11:06AM UTC

    Thank you!

27. AyianJuly 5,2024 at 1:15PM UTC

    First of all, suicidal thoughts and ideations are genetic and completely independent from all other mental health issues. However, it often is comorbid with other markets like depression and anxiety. These thoughts can pick up steam quickly, so please do call someone when you are having those thoughts. They generally pass quickly. You and your loved ones don't want a severe moment to have permanent repercussions.

    You working too quickly is a problem for them because you're showing everyone else up and either they are slow or they like wasting their time and being paid to do it. Slow down, do some mental health activities at work to eat up some of your extra free time.

28. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 11:06AM UTC

    Thank you. I certainly feel like I am showing them up but that's not my problem or fault that they don't work like me. My boss has said I'm doing better than people who have been there for 2 years. I know how to work and bs but I'm not challenged and this work is boring. I think for a lot of people I work with it's their first office job and they don't know how to balance work and bs. I don't care for the amenities the office has I'm locked in working with a coffee and headphones on listening to music while I work. So it's ridiculous for me to still feel that I'm in the wrong when I do what they ask of me. It's never ending and the only remedy is to leave, of course once a new gig is lined up.

29. Sarah NaJuly 6,2024 at 4:16AM UTC
    I see that depression at work is an increasingly common problem nowadays. You need to recognize and resolve depression at work as quickly as possible to protect your mental health and maintain work performance. You should search Google to find a solution.
30. AnonymousJuly 8,2024 at 9:17PM UTC

    My goodness, you are right. Protecting your mental health is a priority one. I realized there are issues no matter where you go and you just have to find a balance. Such a good point.

31. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 12:34PM UTC

    Why people allow the behaviour of other people to control their mindset is beyond me.

    You need to stop the self-pity, stop giving a fuck, and just do you and let "them" do themselves.

    You're issue is you're trying too hard to fit in. I suggest you try this unique approach:

    JUST BE YOURSELF!

    Try being your authentic self. You'll probably be surprised by the results.

32. AnonymousJuly 6,2024 at 1:39PM UTC

    Actually she’s actively trying to not fit in. She is an independent tour-de-force working her ass off but not engaging with her colleagues.

    I’ve had to counsel employees who work at a frenetic pace — exhausting themselves— when it is not necessary. They often complain about the hours they put in but reject feedback that they don’t need to work at that pace. That is what this poster sounds like to me, based on my experience. , Plus, she’s keeping to herself and labeling her teammates.

    She needs to speak to a therapist and figure out a new approach. This type of behavior is likely not limited to this job.

33. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 11:01AM UTC

    Thank you, I have a great therapist and she's been helpful however I still feel like I feel time to time.

    And it's not so much me working frenetically it is the unrealistic goals and pressure they put on you. Literally, they may as well have a metric for how many breaths per minute I take. They want to know:

    How many chats hourly have you taken, not to mention it's mandatory to take 3 or else a Mgr will Slack you, like you're a child, how many emails did you solve hourly, how long were you on untracked time (meaning if I go to use the loo, here they come with questions) how many times did you put yourself to away to not take a chat, now this can be due to finishing up one of the 3 chats I have or needing to escalate things internally. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. This is the reality of this job and what makes me work my ass off bc I am responsible with my work and do it well.

    So every time I have to hear something it makes me look frantic when in reality I'm adjusting to their new enslaved bs. Leaving is my only reality. Not to mention, they have leadership spies who watch to see when you have posted your green banner on Linkedin. I've had to block an entire company for peace, after being asked why I turned it on.

    So nope, speaking w anyone at this place aside from daily work is not happening.

34. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 10:54AM UTC

    I don't think you got what I posted and that's okay. Have a great day

35. Abbey ThompsonJuly 8,2024 at 7:20PM UTC

    Please be very, very careful advising folks that we all be our "authentic selves" at work, because there are a lot of people who cannot safely do so. As in, for some of us, the only place that being our authentic selves at work would lead to is mistreatment and unemployment.

    Neurodivergent people, Queer folks, and members of other marginalized groups face big, sometimes dangerous, repercussions from being too open about themselves or displaying certain needs, behaviors, and habits.

    And yes, I know that it's illegal to discriminate in the workplace based on some of these things. But that legal protection isn't very much of a deterrent in many places, especially when the employees are paid too little to afford a good lawyer.

    It is extremely hard to win a discrimination case, especially when you have no ironclad evidence to back up your claim. I have multiple female friends who were fired due to sexual harassment that they wouldn't further submit to, and despite trying their hardest to fight it, their cases went nowhere because all of it happened behind closed doors. Then it's a classic he-said/she-said, where the boss and his fancy layers can bring in all their character witnesses and testaments to his greatness. A co-worker who didn't like you? They testify that you were a liar or drunk or whatever, and then get a sudden promotion a few weeks later. HR will bring documents about every single time you broke even the tiniest rule - like the harmless little ones that everyone breaks regularly and it's not an issue until HR needs "grounds" for something. You're left with nothing but THEIR exorbitant lawyer bill to pay, and now your reputation is smeared across the internet so it's harder to get a new job.

    Discrimination is rampant because there's no adequate system to enforce it.

36. AnonymousJuly 9,2024 at 1:15AM UTC

    Spare me the "I'm a victim!" BS.

    Be yourself and let the cards fall where they fall. You're overthinking things. Either you're proud of who you are, or you're just a coward contorting yourself to "go along to get along."

    Have respect for yourself!

37. AnonymousJuly 8,2024 at 9:14PM UTC

    Ha, that is funny to read. "trying to fit in" People don't try to fit in, they try to keep paying their bills, and become complacent in their roles. I'm going to stop short of saying it is ignorance to call it self pity. It is easy to say stop giving a fuck. Until you walk 10 minutes in someone else's shoes, hold that thought. It is so much more than just work, behavior, attitude, treatment, etc. It is what you deal with all around you that impacts how you can handle the stress at work. Some jobs don't demand much of you, you aren't in a leadership role and that is ok. But don't think those that deal with the pain don't have it or that it is easy to walk way from, you can't just say F it! Not if you actually care about your job and have other moving parts to think about. Just some things to think about.

38. AnonymousJuly 9,2024 at 1:13AM UTC

    RE: "People don't try to fit in"

    ...and those are the people who are miserable and, rightfully so, the first to be let go in layoffs or to be fired for not being a "fit."

    The most common reason people are fired is because they don't fit in and don't get along with their coworkers. Therefore, to your point, "Hey, try to keep paying their bills," it's in the best interest of an employee to try and fit in.

    The world doesn't adapt to you, nor does it owe it to you to do so, you have to adapt to the world.

39. Maria Scutaro-MullenJuly 6,2024 at 2:21PM UTC

    This is the correct answer.

40. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 6:01AM UTC

    Take help for your depression. You will be able to discuss your feelings freely with a practitioner. If you are looking for a better job, don't quit until you find another one.

41. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 10:53AM UTC

    Thank you for this and yes I did start in Oct and by Jan realized what a toxic place it was and knew I had to go.

    They're toxic and there is no cure for that aside from me removing myself. I don't trust any of them, because they've shown they can't be trusted. Leadership tries to get close so they can talk about you and manipulate you.

    I keep them all at arms length bc I'm there to work, it's not a friendship club. I've learned from past jobs as well to keep to myself and do my work and let that speak for me.

    I get where your opinion comes from, but for my sanity I don't go to anything I don't need to, and only deal w my co workers when I have to. And I'm on the hunt that's not stopping until I'm in a better job.

42. Abbey ThompsonJuly 8,2024 at 6:48PM UTC

    Listen to your instincts here - it's absolutely not your job to be friends with anyone, especially if they've already shown they cannot be trusted! I've been in positions like this and know how damaging they are in the long run. Workplace trauma is real, the effects are long lasting, and sadly, in so many fields it's considered the norm.

    It sounds to me like the job itself was designed by a micromanager who has set you (or anyone else in your shoes) up to fail. I wouldn't be surprised if the position has an extremely high rate of turnover. That kind of unhealthy power dynamic frequently leads to further mistreatment and bullying from other staff - none of them want to be lowest in the pecking order, and so they're fine letting that mistreatment fall on someone else because it means it's not them. This is especially true if they've seen the high turnover in the job, because subconsciously they see the person in it as temporary, not one of them, "other."

    Trust yourself. What you're seeing and experiencing are true and they suck. But you're not alone and not the only one. You can do this! And that nonsense criticism about you "working too fast?" That's code for "you're making the rest of us/them look bad." Take it as a compliment. As long as your work is accurate as much as it is fast, the only problem is that you're excellence throws off the curve, and in a conformity-based workplace culture, they will prize sameness over excellence every day.

    Keep your head down, keep doing your work, and do what you can to get out. ❤️?

43. Renee MooreJuly 8,2024 at 9:55AM UTC

    I'm sorry to hear you're going through this in your workplace. Sometimes I feel this exact way on my job because I'm much older than my co-workers. They'll huddle and not include me in conversation. My manager will huddle when I speak just to try and correct me later. Who does that but a hater?? Just stay focused on yourself, slow down on your duties and always pray before reaction. God works wonders and P.S. keep applying for new, better beginnings. Blessings

44. AnonymousJuly 8,2024 at 1:28PM UTC

    I've been there! Developed insomnia, lostc11 pounds (not deliberately), developed stomach issues(see a pattern here)? I went to a psychiatrist and got on anti anxiety and anti depressant meds and started seeing a social worker, all of which which really helped a lot. I wasn't in a position to quit and the work environment was so toxic! Ended up being let go out of the blue after almost 2 years and it was such a blessing!

45. AnonymousJuly 8,2024 at 2:00PM UTC

    I feel your pain and wish I could help you. I wish there was support for all of us suffering these types of issues. My employer wrote me up for being too happy. I wasn't angry enough or aggressive enough but also said I pushed back to hard and too often. Didn't add up. I was also told my project was the least of their worries but yet, I am not doing things that I was never told to do. We are often to blame when there are no answers or there is no one else to blame and the mirror doesn't show what they want it to show. There used to be a time when you could file a complaint with the department of employment security. This type of behavior was not allowed. Now, they only care if you are being discriminated against related to race. Working in a toxic environment should be an issue as well. If your employer is bullying you, mistreating you, or outright forcing you to do things that make no sense, there should be a place for you to turn. We just don't have support anymore. People say why do you stay but sometimes it is so much harder to walk away. The job market is not at all what it appears to be. Employers are asking for the impossible in job skills and experience, or you need AI to write an AI resume. I wish you the best in your situation. I hope you get out of it. I am working to leave Corporate America after 30 years. I cannot do this anymore. I am miserable as well. There has to be something better out there than the abuse we receive from these people who call themselves humans as well. Best of luck.

46. Abbey ThompsonJuly 8,2024 at 4:55PM UTC

    I know this advice is coming from a good place and based in your own experiences, but I would ask you - and all who upvoted it - to read the OP's post again but this time BELIEVE HER. Because these kinds of suggestions infer that she came into the job somehow already prejudiced against it, rather than trust that she has good reasons for these feelings and her actions. The assertions that she never gave place a chance, needs to be more social, that she's "casting aspersions" - these are not suggestions at all: they're judgements that toe the line of victim blaming, which is not something I expect to see here on Fairygodboss.

    She's at work to WORK, not make friends. There should be zero obligation to become chummy with coworkers if that's not somehow part of your job description or contract. Yes, I acknowledge the fact that there's a huge gulf between "should" and our current professional reality. Maybe going to social events would make the coworkers more tolerable or improve certain aspects, but that doesn't mean that she, or anyone else in this situation, needs to do it. What if the person has social anxiety, or is uncomfortable for other reasons (like if everyone is going to a bar for drinks after work but they are sober and don't want to risk their sobriety). What you suggest could create even more stress than she already has and further damage her mental health.

    These kinds of unwritten social rules, hierarchies, and obligations in the workplace are actively harmful, as they use multiple forms of indirect communication to reinforce the pre-existing workplace culture. These are the invisible tools used to routinely exclude people of color, women, neurodivergent folks, foreigners from different cultures, introverts, and anyone else who doesn't fit the mold. Careers can stall out and end, not because they're bad at their job, but because they're seen as "not a good fit" for the company culture.

    If we are to progress, the status quo needs to be pushed. When more of us start pushing back against this type of conformity-culture, it actually helps make it better for everyone in the long run.

47. Abbey ThompsonJuly 8,2024 at 6:27PM UTC

    Why do you assume she wrote the place off from the start? Can we not give each other the benefit of the doubt here? It doesn't matter if she's been there 3 days, 3 weeks, or 3 months - red flags are red flags, regardless of when you see them. I've had jobs in the past that I knew were going to be problematic in the very first week, and ended up being right. If you know the signs of micromanagement and a negative worplace culture, they can be spotted very early. Even if she didn't give them as much of a chance that you, I, or anyone else would, we should give her the courtesy to assume she has her own valid reasons.