Advice please - first time expecting mother and I’ve been working at a company for 4 years.

Anonymous

April 16,2023 at 1:15PM UTC

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Advice please - first time expecting mother and I’ve been working at a company for 4 years. My job can be demanding, stressful, and require travel. I have enjoyed working with the team but the reaction and response I’m getting from my dotted line boss hasn’t been the most receptive. He’s a workaholic and can be a micromanager/part of the pressure. I have another job offer with a company I worked at in the past but feel guilt for considering it. The other role would be as demanding but little to no travel. I left the last company because I felt pigeon holed in my role/limited advancement opportunities, but the company has since been acquired with a much larger company. Also, the maternity leave at the old company would be better than where I’m at now. I am grateful to be working so please don’t take post in the wrong way. Appreciate any feedback and thoughts. ??

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Megan PikaardApril 16,2023 at 2:54PM UTC
Do you like the travel aspect of your current job? Do you see room for growth in your current job? Is the offer from your old employer the same position you had before or something else that you could see room for growth? How long were you at the old employer and how long have you been at your current employer? Maternity care aside (which is super important) which employer has the most potential to help you grow your career? Perks can always change in companies. Your supervisor may not always be your supervisor (micro management is pretty hard to deal with, I’m sorry). If you just look at the position and how it enriches your career, you may be able to find your answer.
AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 2:58PM UTC
From someone who manages leave programs…be careful changing jobs while pregnant. Although there are a lot of laws to protect pregnant women, depending on which state you work in. You might not qualify for a protected leave. I would make sure you have it in writing before you make a switch.
AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 6:32PM UTC
California and thank you for this tip!
AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 4:29PM UTC
My daughter was able to negotiate several workplace modifications for this relatively short period of intensive parenting of infants/toddlers.
She has a firm pumping schedule for the first year, so no mandatory attendance at meetings or day trips that will interfere (there have been a few exceptions, but they are rare and even then she's got time to pump, just not quite on schedule). Until they are around 3, no overnight travel and no on-call duty (her office falls under essential personnel during weather emergencies). By the time her second is old enough to spend the night with us and she returns to full duty, she'll have had about 5 years worth of modified duty. That was preceded by 10 years worth of sometimes extreme levels of all of those things, so she felt like she paid her dues and didn't feel bad about negotiating for what she needed for her family. That said, definitely look at all of the factors and don't be afraid to negotiate leave or workplace modifications with whichever company you choose.
AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 5:14PM UTC
You may also want to follow Attorney Ryan on IG as he is a worker's rights employment lawyer and he mentions all the time for expectant moms to 1000% document everything.
AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 7:03PM UTC
Go with the job that will best suit your needs. Is the company with better maternity leave a better less micromanaging boss? If so, I would take that one. Bosses can make or break our day.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistApril 16,2023 at 10:53PM UTC
YOU SAID: "but feel guilt for considering it."
Guilty about what, specifically?
AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 9:00PM UTC
Idk why I feel like because they treat me nicely and I have been promoted that I owe them something. I’ve been at this company almost 4 years
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistApril 18,2023 at 12:40AM UTC
My first thought is holy cannoli. All you owe any company is an honest day's work. Which you're obviously giving - otherwise you wouldn't have gotten promoted.
You don't OWE a company anything because you worked hard and got a promotion. YOU EARNED THAT PROMOTION.
Why in the world would you feel guilty about wanting a better job?
You do know that that company could lay you off tomorrow and never think twice about it.
I promise you, neither your boss nor your team members have ever, WILL ever say "gee, I'd love to take this great new job, but I would feel so guilty leaving anonymous."
Never. Going. To. Happen.
They'll get over it. Trust me on that. No one is irreplaceable.
It is your responsibility to yourself to make the best choices for your own career, yourself and your family. No one else will be looking out for you. You have to do what makes you happy. Well, first you have to believe you deserve to be happy.
AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 12:54AM UTC
My boss is new as am I. I am older and just starting out to work a few years before my husband retires. My boss is very anal and an perfectionist. He is already favoring certain people. And is a huge micromanager. And has already yelled at me in front of my peers, accusing me of not paying “ attention.” I understand now why decades of this women are facing heart failure. Not sure I’ll stay. Unless things improve.
AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 9:00PM UTC
I’m sorry to hear that! I hope it’s an environment you can speak up and advocate for yourself or find what works for your situation
AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 12:22PM UTC
Do what’s best for you bottom line. And my honest personal opinion, if your direct manager is a man, and already not receptive, it won’t get any better when you need more understanding, not less.
AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 1:50PM UTC
How long has it been since you started at your current employer? If a short time, it will look like job hopping on you resume. If a longer time, it’s time to consider what you left and why. If the reasons you left the other are completely moot, then it’s worth a reconsider. However, it’s on you to ensure you vet thoroughly that you will not come back to your original role and have moved on from that pigeonholed previous role. If you need stay put, is your company big enough to require them to make job accommodations? If not and they don’t, you know you need to stick it out through your leave and then start pursuing other opportunities when you are back. It doesn’t get any easier once the baby is born, it’s exponentially harder with a job like you described.
Melissa NobileApril 18,2023 at 12:25PM UTC
Run!
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 12:42PM UTC
Old company being acquired by a larger one doesn't always been more and better opportunities. If anything, there is a higher risk of redundancies happening in the near future because they realise there's duplication of roles/ functions/ too much costs. Not to mention the level of bureaucracy that comes with larger companies you may feel pigeoned holed again quite soon? It may not be 'as perfect' - so just be sure to understand the leadership team especially if it's new and what's their track record and of course the business' growth plans short and long-term.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 1:12PM UTC
As a mom go with the other company! Micromanagers are the worst! You do not need that. Less travel will be good too! Good luck with your newborn! Larger company, more room for future movement!
Karen HutchesonApril 18,2023 at 2:19PM UTC
No brainer. Take the old job! You made your own case for it :)
Jacqueline CutlerApril 18,2023 at 2:30PM UTC
Old job. Your life has changed, and since it won't require travel, and gets you from under the thumb of a micromanager, old job. Good luck!
Yelena SheremetaApril 18,2023 at 3:11PM UTC
Something to consider: If your old employer’s maternity leave policy is under FMLA (so part of the leave is covered through short term disability), FMLA requires that you work for the employer for a year before FMLA kicks in. It doesn’t have to be consecutive though and can be within the last 7 years. But I think there is also a requirement to work 1,250 hours in the year before taking leave - so check with the employer before accepting so you don’t unintentionally decrease your maternity leave.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 6:04PM UTC
Is it the devil you know or the devil you use to know. Think about how as a new mother you will want more time and flexibility and less travel? Or not? Is the career trajectory always going to be something you want? Those will matter as you decide which fork in the road to lead down. Neither seems a bad option though you still do have to address the current managers behavior. Is his negativity around your pregnancy? If so that does need to be addressed either privately with HR or in general with him directly. It is illegal to treat someone different because of this and if that is specifically happening since the news you must stop it. Make sure you will qualify for the leaves if you move to the old company because they may have a waiting period that applies if you are less tenured than say 6 months. Check before you leap.
SamanthaApril 18,2023 at 7:49PM UTC
So I had a similar situation when I was pregnant with my first.
You should never feel guilty for considering a different job. But I think you need to really think about why you left your previous job and if you think it's improved. You can even maybe express your thoughts to the hiring manager to see if they have a resolution for that problem and what the growth for your position would look like.
The other part of this is to consider the leave policies. Few things to consider with pregnancy. FMLA sometimes doesn't apply unless you've been there a year. STD at your new company may not allow you to utilize it because of some technicalities. Some leave policies at companies require a certain amount of time being there before you're able to use them - you can probably negotiate this, but it's something to consider.