Let go for poor leadership skills

41 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 31,2022 at 7:03AM UTC

   Think you need the report quickly, otherwise you will be going over what happened again and again - then you won't be able to move on.

2. AnonymousAugust 1,2022 at 2:20PM UTC

   Rumination is so hard to overcome! Sometimes there really isn't a satisfying "answer," but intelligent, hard-working, ethical people will struggle to wrap their heads around what happened. I was treated badly and let go, and it's so so so hard to overcome that.

3. AnonymousJuly 31,2022 at 7:24AM UTC

   Having a one sided report will not answer any of your primary questions. I say this because you've already admitted to poor leadership you demonstrated prior to the investigation.

   Having more fuel for the fire will not offer you new found epiphanies about the chain of events. It will be they said you did this or that kind detail that doesn't offer insight but rather detail to keep you locked into the refuting game.

   To move on in a healthy way to need to parse through your emotions through therapy and make a plan whereby you learn ways to stop yourself from playing the tape of what happened. You can learn to leave the past in the past and focus on all you've learned and all the positive things you are offering today. By unpacking your emotions you can make sense of who you are.

   You are stronger and move self realized today. The past does not define you. It will inform you if handled in the right way.

4. JJJuly 31,2022 at 10:13PM UTC

   I’m so sorry. I would contact an employment attorney to get a copy of that report. It all sounds a bit fishy to me.

5. JenniferAugust 1,2022 at 3:26AM UTC

   If OP is in the US, then she is likely employed "at-will'" and her employer can fire her for nearly any reason or no reason at all. Unless the termination is directly related to her status in a protected class (gender, race, religion, disability, etc), which she has not suggested, then there is no legal case here.

6. Looking for a changeAugust 1,2022 at 1:02AM UTC

   I agree that having the report won’t really help and will probably make you focus on what happened even more.
   I suggest finding a way to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, learn from them and then hopefully find a better job. Good luck!

7. Stephanie LekowskiAugust 2,2022 at 2:01PM UTC

   I disagree- it might give them closure and don't want to keep making the same mistake.

8. AnonymousAugust 1,2022 at 2:18PM UTC

   This has happened to a coworker of mine. They are probably worried about a lawsuit from the person who made the complaint. If they forced you to sign an "agreement" not to sue, there's not much you can do. Otherwise, you can sue for unlawful termination, but that's a hard case to prove. They are the experts and they know how to split hairs and cover their arses.

9. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:07PM UTC

   100% on point.

10. Afo Ogbeyalu KaluAugust 2,2022 at 12:26PM UTC

    Is this a "lay off" or "termination". You appear to use the terms interchangeably, but there is a difference. Since you noted grounds for dismissal, I am going to assume you were fired. If you feel the termination was unjust, consult with an employment attorney. The initial consultation is typically free, and that person would be knowledgeable about your rights in your state/locality.

    If your employee handbook/contract is within reach, examine the section covering disciplinary action/termination processes. If the company made any missteps, you may have a case . . . . .https://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/what-is-unlawful-termination.html#:~:text=Unlawful%20termination%20is%20a%20concept%20found%20in%20employment,the%20employment%20lawsuits%20that%20are%20filed%20each%20year.

11. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 12:33PM UTC

    It’s so difficult in situations like this to put it in the past and move on. There are so many unanswered questions about how you could have fixed it or done something differently.

    But much like in a break up with a partner, the one-sided perception of your term documents is not likely to provide you any clarity on what happened. They are not going to be written in a way that is healthy for you to dwell on as their primary reason for existing is to prevent the company from being sued not to help you personally develop.

    If you think evaluating yourself and working to be better might help you in the future, then I recommend a career coach or a mentor you can really dig into this issue with so you can examine how you need and want to grow.

12. Balanced900205August 2,2022 at 12:34PM UTC

    Sounds like they wanted to prevent a lawsuit from the employee whose allegations were proven false. If a company doesn’t offer a chance to improve or change behaviors then there was someone who just didn’t like the terminated associate and was looking for any reason to get rid of them.

    by all means get that report or will ease your mind and quite possibly give you help in improving your work and petty comes into play here give you a clue as to who put your head on the chopping block.

13. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:04PM UTC

    I am so very sorry this has happened to you. I observed something similar happening to my friend, a person who has/had a high up supervisory government position and was put in a similar (but different) "corner" by a group of younger coworkers. The allegations/accusations were eventually cleared, but there was a fog and alot of "noise" surrounding my friend and eventually, those making the noise won. My friend didn't lose her job, but she was sort of forced to negotiate for herself a much earlier retirement and she was "redirected" to another regional office. it was a horrible situation for her. So...we don't know your circumstances in detail, but what we do know is that the allegations about you were cleared, but you were still damaged by this. And...don't let folks tell you to get an attorney. Unless you had a written employment contract that was violated, you will lose...and lose $$$ on Attorney fees. Esp if you work in a "right to work" and "Fire at Will" state. So forget hiring an attorney. it's a waste of time. (been there/done that and after spending 5K and learning of collusion at work, I didn't have the money to press further in the legal system),...So how does one move on from something like this? Well, it's not easy. But in hindsight, I wish someone had told me a few things. Like, the business world is cut throat. Like, there is no fidelity unless you're working for your mom and Dad. Like, your job is NOT YOUR LIFE, so don't take it that personally. Like, take time for yourself...surround yourself with friends and people who love you and affirm you. Like, take a class to brush up on a skill you think is important. And, take at least a few weeks completely off to listen to the silence. Get fresh air, Pray, journal..find yourself again in the silence of sorting thru things. DO NOT TALK with your former coworkers. it gets messy like that and people will gossip. Chin up....and Keep it there. It totally sucks, I know....But if you maintain your poise and professionalism NOW...YOU'LL thank yourself later. You'll move on, I promise. God bless and Godspeed.

14. Jill LopezAugust 2,2022 at 1:07PM UTC

    What amazing wisdom you shared! ??

15. Stephanie LekowskiAugust 2,2022 at 1:57PM UTC

    I agree with most of this except don't speak with former co-workers. 1) sure not all of them agree with management re dismissal, and 2) need references if they don't want any future employers contacting this one and telling them you're ineligible for re-hire. Reassuring them that you will not complain about the firing or expect them to "take sides" will go a long way to make them not ghost you.

16. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:08PM UTC

    one thing you might consider asking for is a "Service Letter", which basically states you were terminated but "not for cause". your former employer might be willing to provide this to you, and that will clear you up a bit so you can move on more easily.

17. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:10PM UTC

    FOIA it. You will be entitled to see what you ask for (with some redactions) so tell them you want to see the entire file as well as anything that has your name on it that is in the possession of HR

18. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:35PM UTC

    This is probably only possible if the OP worked for a public entity, and even then it might depend on the state.

19. AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 2:35AM UTC

    FOIA does not cover your own personal data.

20. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:36PM UTC

    No. This is not subject to a FOIA request.

    A privately-held company has no obligation to discuss anything with any employee and unless this happened in MT, she is a member of a protected class (age, religion, disability etc.) or OP is part of a union, she is an at-will employee and the employer can fire her because she wore a blue sweater on Tuesday.

21. AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 2:35AM UTC

    Exactly. Geez I grow weary of all the misinformation that could easily be clarified if people took the time to read FOIA.

22. AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 12:56PM UTC

    So that’s how I got fired for not wearing pants...

23. JoAnna BlackAugust 2,2022 at 1:37PM UTC

    FOIA only applies to files held by the federal government

24. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 2:22PM UTC

    I think it also applies to state or local governments, too. And even then, personnel files are sometimes exempt from FOIA anyway.

25. AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 2:34AM UTC

    Please take the time to actually READ the act before proving further misinformation. FOIA ONLY applies to the federal government and it does apply to your own personal data.

26. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 9:04PM UTC

    NOPE. I had some complaints made against me that I was told verbally. I put in a FOIA request with the legal department asking for any documents they had with my name on them. You cannot do a vague request, that can be denied. You must ask for documents that contain your name. I got everything they had in writing. Some names were redacted.

27. AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 2:31AM UTC

    Thanks for clarifying that. So many people either misstate or misapply the law.

28. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:21PM UTC

    I'm kind of in the middle of something similar, I was told there was "feedback" about my leadership but when I asked for copies of the feedback - I was told HR would not share that. When I asked for them to make it anonymous - I was told no. It seems HR likes to "share" what is convenient for them to cover their.. but don't care to share with you anything constructive that could help you grow. I anticipate they're telling me so when they let me go I was "warned" I'm getting things together and have already started interviewing else where. This is prime red flags of a toxic toxic workplace - they clearly want to protect whatever was said and have given me no chance to dispute it (honestly I don't even have any context). Move on. It's not worth stressing over it. I'm sure you are a great leader. They always get rid of the good ones.

29. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

    Recognize that one termination does not define you. Rather than beat yourself up over possible mistakes, take a few leadership courses while you search for your next job. You’ll likely recognize any mistakes you may have made as you learn. You will move past this and find new employment, and by upping your management skills, this can be a blip that you can smoothly sail past. Fighting with this company over a report is an energy drain, likely won’t give you the validation you seek and won’t get you your job back. Put the past firmly behind you and give yourself some grace and move forward.

30. Chere EstrinAugust 2,2022 at 1:51PM UTC

    In some states, you are entitled to see everything that is in your personnel file. It is also entirely possible that you have been retaliated against, and you have a right to know.

31. AnonymousAugust 2,2022 at 2:47PM UTC

    Happened to me. I was told there were discrimination accusations however could not be shown the evidence or told the accusers. I was warned to leave respectfully. What brings me peace is knowing that the company is doing very poorly now. I am very happy in my new company and know that everything happens for a reason. You will survive this and something better will come along.

32. DianaAugust 2,2022 at 3:36PM UTC

    You don't need this job to find another job, take what you know as a lesson and keep moving forward. People are good for making things your fault, that is the way life is. It's got to be someone's fault. Don't take it too personally is what I learned. Just keep going. It's a lesson, sometimes we must fail to understand and learn.

33. GirlBossanova179183August 2,2022 at 4:17PM UTC

    In California you are allowed to request a copy of your file.
    I'm not sure the laws in other states.

34. AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 2:30AM UTC

    Everyone is allowed to request to see their personnel file. California law provides that current and former employees (or a representative) have the right to inspect and receive a copy of the personnel files and records that relate to the employee's performance or to any grievance concerning the employee. Labor Code Section 1198.5 Inspections

35. Audrey KirschAugust 2,2022 at 6:26PM UTC

    You move on by not wasting another brain cell thinking about them. You were wrongly accused, you proved it and your reward was to get let go. They will see pregnant woman's true colors as time goes on. By then you will hopefully have found a much better company to work for. You know that their reasons for letting you go are bogus since they won't show you the files. That is not a reputable company to work for. Best of luck finding a better position.

36. Shelby CAugust 2,2022 at 7:43PM UTC

    Ugh. I can only imagine how difficult this must be. It sounds like an abusive relationship.

    I think when you look back on this in time, you will realize that they did you a favor. The most mentally ill person I know once told me, "Shelby, you cannot reason with unreasonable people." I was always attempting to make sense of her behavior. Then, I would try to get her to understand how destructive it is. I learned to stay in my lane unless asked. :/

    I would put it in the past as something that simply was not a "good fit" and move on. I think once you are someplace more functional and in a better headspace, you will likely realize how manipulative and dysfunctional the environment was.

37. AnonymousAugust 3,2022 at 2:53AM UTC

    I don't know what state you live in, but most have laws that require your employer or former employer to provide you with copies of your personnel file - which includes disciplinary records. They can't legally deny you access to your records. However, there are usually time limits for making your request once employment is terminated.

    I recommend that you research the laws for your state and formally request your employment records or personnel file. You might find that you may have a case for the EEOC to review.

38. Dcre1977August 3,2022 at 3:15PM UTC

    While it would be great to know exactly what the issue was, you may have to just evaluate it yourself by considering how your team functioned. How did you subordinates react, your colleagues and upper management? How did you address disagreements? Put yourself in their shoes.

39. Jackie RukaAugust 4,2022 at 5:59PM UTC

    So sorry you experienced this situation.
    It happens from time to time and unfortunately the fallout hurts everyone involved. Somewhere between all parties lies the truth. Which is neither here nor there. It’s a no win situation.
    And although you may have presented stellar leadership skills, it went unnoticed in this scenario.
    I have consulted for companies when things went sour with an employee and Manager.
    A company who decides they would like to invest in their employees are the ones who hire a employee consultant to better the skills of that employee, have them get their negative feelings out and move on so it never happens again. And also avoid bad hires in the future.
    Point being, you did the best you could under the circumstances. Don’t beat yourself up.
    Get support, lick your wounds and move forward, there is a far better opportunity out there for you and a much better fit!

40. Karen Bernal 'student'August 11,2022 at 3:11AM UTC

    I am sorry that you lost your job. Be glad that you now have the opportunity to find your true place where you are among equals.

    If you are treated badly, then there can only be a better place for you.

    I'd thought I'd been terminated from a good job, only to realize later that it gave me the opportunity to pursue something better and that the job I'd lost was merely me sacrificed my time and energy to do work that was beneath me.

    Be grateful and move on is how you succeed in this situation.

41. crystalAugust 13,2022 at 2:08PM UTC

    That is terrible! I am experiencing something similar but not near as painful. I'm reeling. So glad you asked the question. Hope you find closure.