What do you do when your boss throws you under the bus?

What do you do when your boss throws you under the bus?

Hi there! First time writer, long time reader here.

Before I explain my ordeal, let me tell you a little bit about myself .

I am a female engineer who works at a small engineering consulting firm (total of 16 employees). I am the only female engineer at this company. I have 14 years of experience in the field and 1.5 years working at this company. My boss, the vice president, is a lawyer who manages the engineering department.

Last week, there was an issue with several current projects of a major client of my boss. My boss was already on the edge with this client. I so happened to manage one project of this client back in 2021, which ended in February 2022. My boss tells me that I needed to provide an emailed document from back in February 2022. It seems that I accidentally purged this, and other emails, at some point after February. However, I have a hard copy in the project file.

I told my boss what happened with the email and that I had the hard copy of the email in the project physical file. His response was that it was no use because there was no electronic signature proving it was sent back in February.

Today, he includes me in a chain email between him and the client. To make things worst, the recipient no longer works for the company. In summary, my boss throws me under the bus with the client instead of providing the hard copy email.

In all my professional years, I changed jobs 3 times, and my 2 previous bosses never threw their employees under the bus. I am in shock. I am angry. I am scared. I don’t know how to handle this situation. The HR lady is the wife of the owner, so I don’t feel I have support. I have been spoiled by having good bosses in the past, and this is a first for me.

I will greatly appreciate any advise on how to handle a boss who throws people under the bus.

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22 Comments

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  1. Anonymous

    Document you ? of what transpired and include a scanned copy of the email from the project folder.

    Also, I'm surprised that the archive of the server could not be accessed. You work for an engineering firm for God's sakes. The company has certain historical data responsibilities.

    Anyway. Document everything g you can and ensure not on does the CEO get copied but HR/wife is copied.

    This is ridiculous but important to ensure your side is on the record.

  2. Anonymous

    Thanks for your advice. It seems that from now on I will be including HR on all of my correspondence.

  3. JC Lindquist

    Keep in mind that HR is there to protect the companies best interests.

    We all make mistakes, we are human, remember you are great at what you and you can overcome this by crushing it with this client on the current project.

  4. Anonymous

    Be careful about involving HR visibly in the communication exchanges without first talking to your boss. I would focus on what needs to be done in the future. When can emails be purged or should all client emails be kept forever.

    And then I would address how your department will handle at-risk clients in the future. Ask your boss what can be done to avoid situations like this knowing what you know now.

    If you can show him you see his point of view and understand the stress of the situation, try to also help him see that in order for you to do your best work you can't constantly be worried about being in front of the client. You can also tell him that you get the legal aspect of needing documentation...so, again, what does that mean for your firm's policies moving forwards?

    Ive found bosses especially ego driven men panic when they are at risk of losing a client and they can't immediately come to grips with taking personal responsibility because they were in charge and supposed to be leading. Instead, they look for a person to place the blame on. It's a short term solution to their problem.

    If you find that the situation doesn't improve or you are being scapegoated again or for bigger problems, I would consider whether you want to continue working in this environment.

  5. Jackie Ruka

    So sorry you experienced this situation.
    It sounds as if your boss has his legal hat on to cover his a-s-s- (CYA) and also displaced his emotions onto you. If you have a hard copy and was able to provide it and think a few steps ahead of him in his emotions, it would not of been such a big deal. However, there maybe more he is not sharing that has him ruffled, so, keep your cool. There could be more to the story that has nothing to do with you.
    If worse comes to worse, if they let you go and it's not in an employee handbook or you are not placed on suspension, you can file for unemployment. Best case scenario, it gets resolved with the client and blows over.
    You can look into an employee advocacy person in your State for some advice.

  6. Anonymous

    Thanks for your advice.
    I will look for employee advocacy counsel and get advice on how to proceed from now on.

  7. Anonymous

    Hi - unfortunately I have had bosses throw me under the boss before and it is very upsetting.

    I would advise:

    1. take care of yourself. This can eat you up inside if you think about it too much.
    2. Do you trust your boss - will they throw you under the bus again? Some bosses never admit mistakes - is he like that?
    3. Why do you want to work for this boss or company. If you are treated poorly, then shouldn't you leave and find somewhere better?
  8. Anonymous

    Thanks for your words.
    You are reassuring my decision to look for new opportunities elsewhere.

  9. Anonymous

    Talk to IT about getting the electronic email from Archive.Some companies automatically archive emails after a period of time or can recreate your computer from a certain point in time to obtain it.

  10. Crystal Howell

    I would think IT can scan for emails. After this incident you now know what you are dealing with.

    Female engineers are in demand, look elsewhere on your spare time,and be appreciated! Good Luck!

  11. Kathy

    Lessoned learned. Never work for a non-technical person. They have no understanding of the engineering process and don't appreciate the efforts involved in delivering a product.

    Move on! It's obvious you can't trust this person.

  12. LISA MCCARTNEY

    You were smart to save hard copies as computers glitch (as well as operator errors)happen all the time. I personally would reply all with an email that has an attachment of paper copy. Mention computer glitch or not (I would but that's me). Only you know if it's time to move on but maybe start looking quietly.

  13. Anonymous

    Yes!

    I presented that option to my boss, and yet he refused to admit to the client this was a computer glitch and we had the hard copy in archive. Since he already was in hoy water with his client at other projects, he looked for an easy way out.

  14. LISA MCCARTNEY

    I'm sorry

  15. Liz Milne

    Whoever you sent it to should be able to reply on it, sending the whole email chain back to you?

  16. Anonymous

    that would be an option. However, as I mentioned in my post, the recipient no longer works for the company.

  17. Liz Milne

    Ah, right - my bad, I missed that bit xx

  18. Anonymous

    Absolutely. However, as I mentioned in my post, this was an accident.

  19. Anonymous

    Why are you deleting any emails? Unless it’s spam, every email I receive is tagged and archived.

  20. Kristie White

    Hard copies of emails have dates on them.

    Deleted emails may be stored somewhere per company policy (or should be for just such an occasion) because any project can have issues come up months/years after the project is completed. An engineering company should be doing this as a matter of risk management that automatically archives their emails (sent, deleted, filed, etc.) This is a bad sign if they are not sophisticated enough to have this in place. Talk to IT.
    Last - multiple times, I have run into or worked with a male or female boss who throws me or a subordinate under the bus. They are mostly male, but not always. This is how the boss saves face with the client or protects their own job - by blaming it on someone he/she controls and can fix rather than owning up to their own incompetence. This is a pattern and it will happen again and again. You can handle this specific crisis by finding out if there is a backed copy of the email. If not, and your boss won't accept the hard copy, you have no recourse except to take it for the team - but know this is a pattern. For the future, I would bcc yourself on EVERYTHING so you can CYA. But I suspect you will get tired of this unless they are paying you a LOT of money.
    And you're right - the wife is NOT your friend/ally/objective resource.

  21. Bosslady189985

    While it's tacky if the boss didn't own up to not having a retention policy on project communication, it IS your responsibility for deleting the email.
    Not knowing you needed the electronic copy is the reason you deleted it, but it's not an excuse or doesn't make it not your fault. Like a car accident... someone didnt know theres black ice on the road then hit someone... yeah it stinks you didn't know about the ice, byt the insurance company is still going to see you as the one who hit the other car and that car owner should be compensated for damages. Period. Didn't matter if you knew or not... you hit the car, you own responsibility.

    Just see it as a learning opportunity and a chance to show you don't get emotional about mistakes, you grow from them. Talk to the boss about putting a retention policy in place so no one else falls victim to the same blind spot and knows all electronic communication has to be kept on the cloud or somewhere for xx yrs (legal can say how long). This will show you bring solutions that will help everyone and your mistake now becomes a benefit for the team. Success and growth is built on mistakes so don't miss opportunities to own them.

  22. Waseem Iqbal

    I want the job of Purman or Safety Engineer

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