I don't have the best track record with jobs.

Theresa Galang

July 26,2022 at 12:23AM UTC

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I don't have the best track record with jobs. In November 2018, I was fired from a job I had since the beginning of 2016. Since then, I haven't had much luck. I don't want to be this unstable work-wise, but I find it hard to stay at jobs where I am being micromanaged or where the amount of effort I'm putting in doesn't equal the pay I am receiving or where the loses are outweighing the benefits.

In April, I started my current job. This is also my first corporate job. I thought that this was finally it for me... A job where I can be happy. I remember being happy on my first day because my supervisor saw me working close to 4:30 pm and she told me to finish it tomorrow. My last job before this never allowed me to leave work at work. So this was refreshing.

It's been almost four months since and I am completely miserable. I feel like an outcast in my own team. I feel like I have been shamed for my mental health issues. I have been told twice by my supervisor that I am annoying. I'm out sick due to COVID right now. I opened up my work emails to see if the nurse from Employee Health sent me any follow up emails on our conversation this morning. I saw one from her and the rest of my emails were telling me what work I'm doing incorrectly - including one from our director who said previously that she cares about my well-being. I feel terrible both physically and mentally and the last thing I want is to open my email and see one email after another putting me down about the work I do.

I wanted to try my hardest to keep this job because the benefits are amazing, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. I've contemplated switching to a different department and/or location, but my contact in HR said I have to be there for six months before I can switch. I feel like I'm at such a disadvantage. I prayed and prayed for a job where I can be happy and work in a healthy environment. I thought I found it. I was wrong. I feel like I'm in hell at this job that I thought was finally my peace.

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AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 2:52AM UTC
Do you have an EAP? Perhaps you can look into therapy as part of that benefit?
It's sounds like there might be more going on with you than a series of mismatched jobs that you can't excel at.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 4:17AM UTC
Agree
Shanita Taylor BSIS, BSc (Psyc), M.A.E.LJuly 26,2022 at 3:38AM UTC
Jobs aren't easy all the time. Do what is best for you. If you can stick it out for six months, then request switching to another department. If you feel you have been shamed for your mental health issues, you can either make a complaint, document the incidents, or block it all out. You are there to work. That's the problem with being on jobs. People gossip and put their personal into their work-life or like to get into other people's personnel and work-life, like immature kids. If you aren't bothering anybody, there should not be too much of an issue. I am not sure what your mental illness is, but in most cases, it's none of their business. You are allowed to make mistakes on a job. Being able to correct those mistakes is excellent. I hope you get well soon and have happier days.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 4:17AM UTC
I'm sure your company has a mental health resource. Sounds like you need to talk to a therapist who can assist you with any roadblocks that may be impeding your work.
AnonymousAugust 1,2022 at 12:50PM UTC
If you’re out sick, please be OUT sick and don’t trouble yourself with the work emails.
it has to feel like everyone dog-piling on you. Take a deep breath. You can do this, but not while you are sick and not at your best. Be kind to yourself and try not to stress, priority number one is your health.
After that… You mentioned this is your first corporate job. There’s a lot of learning going into this different arena. many of the lessons learned in other environments (retail, hospitality, food service. Etc…) can transfer well, but many of the acceptable behaviors in those environments are rude or unprofessional once you bring it corporate. There is not a handbook (that I know of). And it is highly unlikely someone will recognize your struggle making the change.
Is there anyone there that is friendly toward you and knows the ropes that you could confide in about having trouble adjusting? Your eagerness to learn and get better is more important than knowing.
Picture two team members who made a mistake:
Employee 1) “I’m sorry, how could I have done this better? I identified the obstacles and here’s what I think I can do different next time to make it smoother”
Employee 2)” it isn’t my fault. This isn’t fair. Someone else failed to make me succeed”
same situation applies to both. With the first, you are dumping your problems on the boss’ lap to solve, they’re already up to their eyeballs in work. They’re going to want to fill that spot with someone who is more likely to present solutions ( or they could just be a big jerk and there is no solution to the problems)
Lastly, and most difficult to digest (for me anyway). You are right, many people do not care about your mental health struggles. They may not be aware, they may have their own struggles that make it hard to give that energy to you, or they may just be a big jerk. At the end of the day they are YOUR struggles and very few people ever could understand. What they do understand is when they, or a team they are responsible for is not getting what they need from you.