Recruiter and hiring manager being deceptive.

Recruiter and hiring manager being deceptive. After an initial call with the recruiter, it took three follow ups for her to ask me for an interview with the hiring manager. They were the ones who contacted me for the role stating that my resume was very impressive.

Half an hour before the scheduled interview, the recruiter sent me an email asking to cancel because the role has been filled. I didn't see the email and had the interview with the hiring manager anyway, where we had a very good conversation about the role, which I felt very qualified to do, maybe even over qualified.

After seeing the email, I asked the recruiter for confirmation as I don't want to waste my time if the role has been filled, even if the manager didn't give off that impression. The recruiter told me there's a more junior job with less pay available. I told her explicitly that the original role is already paying less than my current rate and my experience reflects that. I'm not interested in going backwards in my career.

I wrote to the hiring manager afterwards stating very politely the situation and asking them to clarify the situation for me. It's been radio silence from them since. Today I checked their recruitment tool and it told me the role is inactive; I didn't even get an automatic rejection.

I've never had such a disrespectful recruiting experience. Recruiters and companies have always been professional and amazing to me. I'm even tempted to notify their talent acquisition director about this experience since it has turned me off completely from working for them in the future.

Am I over reacting? I feel gaslit and it has caused me to doubt my qualifications.

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21 Comments

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  1. Anonymous

    I've had some mixed experience with recruiters. I had this one that reached out to me about a role at his company. I wasn't even really looking at the time. But decided to schedule a call with him to hear him about. It sounded like a great position, an opportunity for me to start and run a new group. That was exciting to me so at the end of the call I told him I would be interested in moving further with the role. He said great and that he would pass my resume on to the hiring manager. A week went by and I didn't hear from him so I contacted him, nothing. It's been a few weeks now and still nothing. I don't get it. Why did he even contact me in the first place?

  2. Kat

    You might have been contacted to fill a quota. Some companies have a specific number of external candidates they need to contact during the hiring process, even if they're most likely going with an internal candidate. It's also possible that the hiring manager wasn't as enthusiastic about your resume as the recruiter. It's hard to say without feedback or follow up. Recruiters are salespeople, trying to sell you on an opportunity. This recruiter may have contacted 20 people about the position and told them all the same thing. That's probably the case since you've had no further contact. I don't have a high opinion of recruiters, since this is the same pattern I've encountered. They contact you saying they've got this great opportunity, you apply and then-nothing. It's frustrating for the job seeker, since a quick email saying you didn't make the cut isn't that hard to do.

  3. Anonymous

    That's EXACTLY my thought! I mean how hard is it to drop an email and say "I passed your resume on, but it doesn't look like the hiring manager wants to move forward with you." It's better than just sitting around waiting and wondering if they actually passed my resume on. It's just very disappointing, they get you all excited about a certain role and then just dropped you.

  4. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    It's quite possible that that recruiter no longer has their job. In these most recent rounds of layoffs recruiters are many times the first to go.

  5. Anonymous

    I agree with you that this was a very disrespectful situation and it sounds like the one hand didn't know what the other was doing. For future experiences, as a hiring manager, I do want to give you some unsolicited advice: don't follow up with the recruiter three times when they haven't responded. Usually, and I'm not saying you did this, when we see this many followups in an OP, it happened in a very short timeframe and likely killed the relationship with the recruiter. The formula is to ask the recruiter during the interview when to expect more information. If you don't have it on the date they said, you can email them on the following business day. If you don't hear from them for three business days after that, you can follow up one more time. And then leave it alone for at least a week before sending a final attempt to followup. If you for some reason didn't get a timeline in the initial conversation, you can send a followup 24 hours after that conversation to clarify and then follow the formula. Again, I'm not saying that you did not follow this formula, but am sharing it in case it is helpful.

  6. Anonymous

    I did exactly as you stated. I asked during the call about the timeline, then I followed up a business day past the initial stated time. Then one more time the week after, and a final email the week after that to tell her best of luck in the search. I wasn't emailing her everyday, perhaps I wasn't clear about that.

  7. Anonymous

    This is so unfortunate. Please don't doubt your qualifications, that's not what this is about. We can come up with theories about what happened, but sounds like you should move on. You could reach out to the talent acquisition director, but be clear on what you hope to get out of that before doing so. Best of luck to you!

  8. Anonymous

    I just don't want other candidates to have the same experience.

  9. Anonymous

    Perhaps you don't understand that I've never had such an experience before. I've always worked for FANNG companies and recruiters often bend over backwards catering to my needs. This is the first time I've been so disrespected, coupled with recent layoffs and the grim outlook on the economy, you can't really blame me for feeling this way.

    Btw, it's never really a sign of high emotional intelligence when you invalidate other people's feelings. Instead of saying people overreacted, maybe ask why I might feel the way that I do. You didn't live through the rude interactions yourself.

  10. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    YOU LITERALLY ASKED: "Am I over reacting?"

    And then insult the commenter when they answer your question?

  11. Anonymous

    Completely agree 100000%

  12. Anonymous

    What is "deceptive" here?

  13. Anonymous

    I’m not seeing deception here. You showed your hand and it’s clear it’s not a fit for them or you.

  14. Anonymous

    How does a chaotic recruiting drama translate into gaslighting and doubt.

    Suffice it to say this is not a fit. I would chalk it up to bad experience all around.

  15. Anonymous

    This!

  16. Anonymous

    Why doubt your qualifications?

    This company and recruiter contacted *you* for a specific role and then tried to hire you for a more junior position at a lower salary.

    They acted poorly and it is about *them*, not you. Walk away and be glad that you dodged a bullet.

    Also consider the possibility (probability?) that the recruiter was just trying to earn an extra fee when the junior role was mentioned.

    This situation isn’t worth your time, energy or worry.

  17. Anonymous

    I think there is something missing here. I'm not seeing gaslighting here or deception. The manager and recruiter didn't see you as the candidate for the position.

  18. Anonymous

    many times I had an amazing interview and was not selected. Even though I was excited and feeling like the right fit for the role, somebody else was selected. It's fine. having a good conversation with the hiring manager doesn't necessary mean you are the right fit for the position. You were informed on time that the position is filled, so what else were you expecting? I suggest that you should move on and continue your job search path and never be fooled by recruiters sweet talk. as long as you don't have a contract in your hand, then it's just a TALK. I know that it was unpleasant experience for you, but let's forget about it and move on. I wish you the best of luck!

  19. Anonymous

    in many cases the recruiter is the last to know many decisions. I agree that at least you were informed the job was filled, they may have had an internal candidate or referral and you were in the running, but many companies don’t even let you know you’re out of the running and ghost you.they may have had an internal candidate or referral and you were in the running at one point

  20. Anonymous

    I assume the recruiter you are speaking of is an EXTERNAL one not an INTERNAL one to the company. The recruiter not to defend them in this specific situation if internal knows exactly what is happening and may have been instructed to tell you it is filled. If it was a 3rd party external agency recruiter they are using you as bait on their hook for a commission that they only get if you are the chosen one. Often they pitch you when they see a role open and then set things up only to find out they are one of many agencies that fished that open role and have presented possible candidates to fill it. In the future suggestion to ask if they work for the company, are on a retained search or contingency (commission) if they are external. And also lastly find out if they have an exclusive. Keep in mind when they reach out to you, you are the buyer and they are selling. You are gathering info to find out if you have interest. IMHO send a note to the company one more time thank the hiring manager for their time that they spoke to you and let them know that despite the confusing situation you hope that they will keep you in mind for roles that might fit your background in the future. You don't want to burn the bridge with them, and my suspicion based upon the info you shared here is that the agency recruiter messed up, and when you told the HM about it they shut down because they don't want to work with that agency. What that means also is that you are only going to get hired there if the company decides to pay a fee to hire you. Generally it would be 20-30% of annual salary plus bonus that the company would have to cough up to get you hired. Also since they presented you, there is a do not touch clause for 1 year if you are not hired so you're kind of blocked from consideration if they don't want to pay since the agency presented you. So now you see how VIP it is to find out about the agency before agreeing to any interviews. Good luck and I am sorry this was a bad experience for you, you surely did not deserve it.

  21. Julie Chatman, MBA, CISM

    It sounds like the recruiter may have been external. I think it was great that you gave the hiring manager feedback.

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