Am I being pushed out of my job or is this simply a hostile environment?

Anonymous

July 19,2022 at 7:45PM UTC

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Am I being pushed out of my job or is this simply a hostile environment? Recently I had a conversation with one of my managers and learned that I was being blamed for issues that came up during a project that was directed by another employee. It didn't matter to this manager that my former coworker was also the PM, but because it was around my work I was responsible for her misdirections. It also didn't matter that I had informed this PM on what actually needed to be done, my manager sided with the former PM. I was hired supposedly for my experience but recently was also told that they can never find someone in my field who is qualified to work at their level in the office. I mentioned that I have the experience and skills that he is saying no one has, but he shrugged off my response. As the only one in my speciality in the office, I asked what he meant by that, and he basically said no one they've hired in my area of work is qualified to work with them. I didn't bring up an early interviewee we had who had some very strong technical skills, which they didn't offer a job to - but she had demonstrated experience in what he was claiming people (women) in my field can't do. I had to explain how we are trained, what we are trained to do, and why we approach the work in this manner and compared that with how he and everyone else works in their field of specialty. But at the end of the conversation, he basically said to me that if I want to be working at their level, I'm going to have to learn what they do. I found it condescending and insulting that no one else can make an attempt to learn what I do, and understand why but I am being told I'm not qualified to be there. (and yet, they need my prior work experience to include in marketing campaigns).

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AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 8:36PM UTC
He dismissed your expertise and did not defend you being thrown under the bus for misdirection given to you by the PM.
Mmmmmm, sounds like he doesn't have a clear understanding of what you know and what your value is to the process. Nor does it sound like you're going to change his change his mind.
So you will most likely see others hired or brought in over you and you will continue to be relegated to a far lesser valued member of the team.
Sad but at least you know your perceived worth at this company.
I would use this as a sign that it is time to start shopping around to find a better fit where your value is clear and you have an opportunity to lead.
Heather CutlerJuly 19,2022 at 9:08PM UTC
This is an unfortunate chain of events.
Please listen to the various messages that are being delivered to you: you’re being blamed for project issues, your boss has no interest in defending you or your work product, and he doesn’t see value in your experience. If you’re needing to make the case to him that you’re qualified the battle is already lost. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
There is a silver lining to this situation, however. It sounds like he’s providing you with these very strong messages in a slow drip which provides you tremendous opportunity to begin your job search, at your own pace.
Barring some sort of massive about- face, I don’t see this situation changing. Time for you to drive this train and look for something new. Best of luck to you.
Julie HumbirdJuly 19,2022 at 9:15PM UTC
"People who want to see you win, will help you win" <3
AnonymousJuly 19,2022 at 9:42PM UTC
leave and don't look back.
Sabrina CortesJuly 20,2022 at 3:08AM UTC
I'm so sorry that you're in this situation! It sounds like a toxic work environment with management that isn't seeing reality.
Think of it if one of your friends is going through this same scenario. Write out your response to gain an objective view and go from there.
Sending you positive vibes!
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 12:28PM UTC
Do you have multiple managers? It sort of sounds like you do. That in and of itself is problematic.
Anyway, if this manager is the one that writes your review, then this doesn't sound like a healthy learning/growth culture so it's probably worth transferring to another team (if there are ones that aren't like this), or just getting a new job and leaving this company.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 12:29PM UTC
See if they’re willing to show you what they do; if anything , it gives you more skills to take with you to your next job.
If they can’t or won’t show you, then you’re being set up to fail and should leave sooner rather than later. A good leader should understand well all moving parts of the team, so this knowledge can help you move up and be considered a team player.
AyianJuly 21,2022 at 12:31PM UTC
Nope, guy just told you that while you were probably the best they found during recruitment, you're not qualified enough. This is a very deep sign of disrespect for you and your career. You even went fishing for him to remember you are right there. The sooner you find somewhere else to be where you don't have to beg and plead to be SEEN, the better it will be for your career and mental health.
Toxic/hostile work environments should be interpreted as being pushed out of the position just as much as a focused effort to get you specifically to leave. They either want YOU or they want a body who might passingly resemble some of your traits and/or experience. Decide what the lowest level of appreciation you will tolerate is and demand that from every interaction and feel comfortable walking away if it isn't met. This will reduce your time dealing with disrespectful interpersonal interactions.
Maggie StoneJuly 21,2022 at 12:42PM UTC
I am sorry that you are working in an environment where you are not respected or appreciated. I have been there and it’s awful. I think the answer to your question is that both things are true: you are in a hostile working environment and you are being pushed out. The overall message is that they have decided that you are not a good fit. Once that perception is in place, it is almost impossible to change. Start looking for a place that will value you.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 12:44PM UTC
At least you know that your experience and your input will never be significantly valued in this company. Update your resume and start looking elsewhere. Stop trying to justify yourself to people who don’t get it.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 12:47PM UTC
I just went through the same thing and here is my advice, coming from a management level. Be respectful but stand up to your manage and while doing that, find another job. Managers that treat people that way are dealing with their own inadequacies and feel threatened by you so the way they deal with it is by showing others you are not competent in your role, to inflate their own self worth. It’s toxic and hostile however someone else’s perception of you is NOT your reality. Know your value and self worth and take it to a company that will value you. I went from a company that treated me like I was incompetent to a company that refers to me as a Leader every day! Where is the disconnect?!?!
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 12:59PM UTC
I left a position like that 5 months ago. It was kind of a dream job for me, so it was extremely difficult to come to the conclusion that I needed to leave. The experience took such a toll on my mental health and self-esteem. I feel so empowered and valued in my new role and am so grateful I was finally able to move on to a rewarding position. Only you know how much you can take.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 1:08PM UTC
It’s always interesting when the slow drip happens. I am experiencing that in my current position. If they give you constructive feedback and tell you their expectations to give you a chance to work through whatever the issues are, then you know they’re giving you a chance to sink or swim. But in the current scenario, they are telling you in so many words, you’re not the right fit. The interesting part about this is, they probably don’t have what they feel is a concrete reason to terminate you so they are going to make it unpleasant enough for you to leave on your own or wait for something to happen to give them an excuse to justifiably fire you. Get outta there! Not worth your dignity or the stress. Today is my last day at my position. And I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off me when I handed in my resignation. Fortunately, circumstances worked in my favor so that I can walk out on my own steam. Do the same for yourself. Find another job and skedaddle.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 1:58PM UTC
"Slow Drip"....love that descriptive. you nailed it. Been there/done that.
Cynthia ImmelJuly 21,2022 at 3:36PM UTC
I agree completely! I just experienced this, was laid off and am now job hunting. It was a massive relief once the job was over, given how stressful it was. I recommend starting your job hunt now. Best of luck!! You deserve a workplace that is fulfilling and a great fit!
AnonymousJuly 22,2022 at 2:36AM UTC
It's not clear whether or not this meets the legal definition of a hostile work environment (i.e., are you the recipient of unwelcome conduct based on a protected characteristic such as race, sex, age, disability, etc.).
But it absolutely sounds dysfunctional and toxic and quite possibly the beginnings of a constructive discharge. Yes, you are without question being pushed out and you need to beat them to the punch by finding another company that deserves your skills and talents.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 1:13PM UTC
It’s hostile. Get out quick !
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 1:16PM UTC
I left that position a few years ago. They wanted the “good old boys” club to takeover my responsibilities even though I did a great job. My co-workers were being forced to learn work that they had no interest in and no prior knowledge or experience that would warrant them taking over those responsibilities beyond them being “in the club”. They thought that with my skill set, I was “stuck” and wouldn’t find a suitable position elsewhere for the very specific type of work that I was so passionate about. They were wrong. My new employer is beyond thrilled to have the in-house expertise and isn’t afraid to show it. They appreciate me and the work environment is so much healthier on the rare occasions that I actually gave to go into the office because I work remotely. My only regret is that I didn’t leave sooner. It took such a toll on my body both physically and emotionally that it took me several months to recover from the stress. Sometimes the grass is really greener and I’m proof of that. Now, that old employer has to pay a vendor to do even the most basic of tasks because their own people have no clue. Now I call that Karma!
Afo Ogbeyalu KaluJuly 21,2022 at 1:35PM UTC
I agree with the replies posted on this thread.
All that I add, is that if you are not doing so already, follow up verbal communication (your directives, suggestions, advice, feedback, etc.) with an email, and copy relevant parties. Not only does this provide you with "cover", it also signals to others that you are assertive, thorough, on top of "your game", and not to be toyed with.
Best of luck!
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 1:56PM UTC
sorry, I don't have time this morning to read the other replies, so my response is likely redundant. I have read thru, twice, what you've shared here. It sounds like a convoluted mess, and it also sounds like you're getting a bad vibe on this. PAY ATTENTION to your gut. Too many times in my life, I've ignored my gut and kept going--only to end up being miserable, leaving (eventually) and in one situation, getting down-sized and out (when I was the highest producer in the department). It's not you, it's them. Keep your focus on that. Your gut is right 99% of the time. So for now, just stop the arguing. All the emails and convos with people (and HR) will get you NOWHERE. been there done that. Just do your job, lay low, stay under the radar and LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB. I'm sorry you are going thru this. But going to HR and keeping documents of conversations--none of it matters. If you work in a "Hire/Fire at will" state, it makes no difference. You're up against a wall. Praying for clarity for you.
Emma Levine SporerJuly 21,2022 at 3:34PM UTC
I'm still on the path of “trusting my gut” but it’s always nice to be reminded that it’s a completely acceptable thing to do.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 11:27PM UTC
Gut is right 99.9% of the time
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 2:03PM UTC
It truly sounds like it's time to pack up, look for another better, more healthy work environment and once you get that--leave they high and DRY!! To HELL with them. Such bull shite and nonsense, jealousy in the workforce--and then they wonder why they can't find professionals with strong work ethics who are strong communicators who truly care about results. Leave--you deserve better. You are being set up.
Audrey KirschJuly 21,2022 at 3:18PM UTC
It’s a hostile work environment. For some reason they think they can treat you that way and you can’t or won’t do anything about it. Show them they’re wrong. Seek out a new position where your skills will be valued.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 4:26PM UTC
Whatever the purpose behind these conversations from your manager's view, it sounds like there is a long and difficult journey ahead if you are going to be accepted the way you wish. It doesn'tsound like the issue is you, but more, the way your overal specialty is viewed. Is it worthwhile to invest the time and tooth-gritting energy? Or, to do your best but look around for a more compatible place?
Kristie WhiteJuly 21,2022 at 6:12PM UTC
There are some telling phrases in your description. "Work at their level in the office" for example implies that "their" way is a higher level of expertise than anyone else's way whether that is actually true or not (and probably isn't true.) Many companies think their methods - even when they are very dysfunctional - are the only way to get the work done and won't entertain change at all. This means - to succeed at this company - you have to adapt to their methods first. Once you excel at their methods, you have credibility. THEN you can make suggestions based on your experience or proven abilities. The fact that they aren't hiring talent with best practices to bring to the table (I assume) tells me they (or he) are resistant to change and do not want to bring in someone who changes any process. You have to decide if this is where you want to put in the work to succeed or find a place that is receptive to your skills.
Crystal HowellJuly 21,2022 at 7:52PM UTC
Your experience may scare them, if you are the only one with the specialty, find a better company that appreciates you. See where they end up, call their competition.
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 9:28PM UTC
This is not a good fit for you.
AnonymousJuly 22,2022 at 11:17PM UTC
I was in a similar situation when my boss retired and we got a new one...it culminated in several actions that never would fly had it not been a private organization.
My suggestion to you is to document everything and keep a copy of that incident report outside of work.
I was only kept on for a couple of months after I reported my boss for violating the company handbook, it ended with me being offered a decent severance package, forgoing liability, and a legal agreement for this not getting out. I also had to submit my resignation. Hence the anonymous post. I also did need to prove my innocence to the state in order to get unemployment. I told the truth (but not overly dramatic) and not the "story" HR had suggested (which I suspected would have got me denied for benefits, they also said they would not contest the ruling but only if the state ruled I was eligible.)
And my job? They posted it and were unsuccessful in replacing me, so the position was eventually dissolved. The place is also going downhill fast.
Best wishes to all of you reading this, as for me I'm actually coming out ahead with a better job. :)
DO NOT EVER LET ANYONE UNDERVALUE YOU. That jealousy is there for a reason!!