How do I not get nervous at my new job and overthink when I ask a question or say something that might make me look nervous?

10 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 6,2022 at 12:19AM UTC

   I have the same problem. I literally have to push myself to ask. Think about it this way. Would you rather make a mistake? They will appreciate the ask. Take notes when asking.

2. AnonymousSeptember 6,2022 at 12:55AM UTC

   Op here thanks! My manager was asking if I knew how to do something and I said some whatever I don’t know I’ll leave blank and someone can show me. They’re too busy doing audits and my position is new. Now I’m thinking I should have just said o know some of it and left it at that

3. AnonymousSeptember 6,2022 at 1:13AM UTC

   And clarify the notes -- you said a, b, c - right so they know what they are saying as well :)

4. SLTSeptember 6,2022 at 1:11AM UTC

   Have faith in yourself!

   My current job had the WRONG training!! But my confidence and willingness to persevere overtook the craziness -

   They hired YOU for a reason! Breathe deep and relax!!

5. AnonymousSeptember 6,2022 at 1:17AM UTC

   Learn to control your anxiety by controlling your breath. It all begins and ends with your breath. None of this can be controlled with your head. Center yourself and you can be in the moment and stop projecting your fears and anxiety. Center yourself and you will think more clearly and allow your confidence in the moment to support you.

6. AnonymousSeptember 6,2022 at 1:38AM UTC

   Stop overthinking this.

   The fact that you are new gives you permission to ask any question under the sun. You are better off asking your questions now, than being a year in and still uncertain of how to perform your duties. Only a mean spirited person who have a negative attitude towards people would judge you for asking questions while being new. And with those trolls, see them for what you are and keep doing you and reach out until you find reliable sources you can depend on for info. Your first 6 months is running recon at any new job, so go forth and be great. If you have social anxiety, try to build a routine to help keep your fears at bay. I find leaning into my fears helps me to overcome them. So encourage yourself to do just that. Also anxiety can stem from having too much energy, so work out through long walks or running in the morning to exhaust that energy and meditate to get you into a relaxed state. If you drink coffee or caffeine ween yourself off of it. Coffee or product with caffeine amplifies anxiety or those who tend to be anxious.

7. Kathryn MontbriandSeptember 6,2022 at 12:50PM UTC

   If it makes sense for your organization, I recommend asking for an 'onboarding buddy' to field some of your questions.

   Someone who is at a similar level and has done the work for a while could be a great resource/guide and mean that you aren't going to your direct manager with everything. As an added bonus, formalizing this structure can be a step towards people leadership roles for someone who wants to go down that path and prove their capabilities.

8. Holly JacobsSeptember 6,2022 at 1:00PM UTC

   You sound like you're tougher on yourself than others. Be yourself because that's why they hired you and ask your questions. It's okay that not everything is figured out after 3 weeks.

9. Joanne RosenSeptember 6,2022 at 4:23PM UTC

   Simply say to another employee, "Hey, you look like you are really good at your job. Would you mind helping me? I need to know . . . ."

   Everyone loves to be noticed for good work and people really DO want to help you.

10. Andrea AinsworthSeptember 12,2022 at 9:54AM UTC

    Courage ! You are new and you will find some of the oldies would have no answer either .... this is the time to be a sponge and say " would you mind sharing how is this done ? " "i would love to learn more about this area, could you help with that? " or the likes. All the best !