I was issued a show cause order for swearing at the workplace.

23 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 12:59PM UTC

   Swearing is one of those things that is completely dependent on workplace culture, specific context, and comfort level of the people within earshot. A certain amount of swearing is acceptable in my workgroup, but usually not acceptable in earshot of our clients. There are other internal groups that would also find it unacceptable. But your employer does have the right to set their own standards. Your role in your company may not be a good fit for you if this is an issue.

2. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 1:29PM UTC

   It may be a way to express your emotions; however, know your audience (intended and otherwise). Some people are rather offended by swearing, others just roll with it. I'm a rather sweary person; however, my previous environment was a religious non-profit so really had to watch my mouth. Now I'm in a place where F-bombs fly freely - and about half of them are from my team (HR).

3. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 5:16PM UTC

   YES, this!! I worked for a military chaplains office once and had to curb my mouth... but I've been basically cursing like a sailor since I could talk (dad complains every now and then, but where do you think I heard it first?). I try to not go overboard, but every now and then language is warranted.

4. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 5:24PM UTC

   Funny story - and if there is anyone on here who may know me, they would recognize me by this story:

   When I was in labor, I tried so hard to censor myself as my mother-in-law was in the room. A deeply religious woman, I did not want to offend her. Labor and delivery was fast and furious, thank god, but as things were reaching a crescendo, I started to stall out as I was concentrating on censoring myself. My husband finally gave me permission to "just say what you gotta say" because he could see what I was doing. As soon as I had that 'permission' I let fly and that was what I needed to do to get over that hump. My poor MIL was cowering in the bathroom (we have a photo of that) at the end.

5. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 2:32PM UTC

   It's a violation on so many levels and never appropriate in the workplace.

6. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 3:14PM UTC

   Do you work for a religious organization? If so, then yes it is inappropriate. Were you using the the mother of all words or using the c word? There are so many ways to express yourself without swearing. I am not sure what you said or how you said it, but I always err on the side of caution and not swear at work. It makes you look better if you don't.

7. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 3:15PM UTC

   Do you work for a religious organization? If so, then yes it is inappropriate. Were you using the the mother of all words or using the c word? There are so many ways to express yourself without swearing. I am not sure what you said or how you said it, but I always err on the side of caution and not swear at work. It makes you look better if you don't.

8. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 3:19PM UTC

   Why aren't you able to not to swear in a work place? IMO, you should be able to refrain from being offensive. There has to be a level of decorum that is acceptable.

9. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 3:37PM UTC

   I’ve never understood this. Obviously, you shouldn’t use them in the presence of clients or say them AT people, but they’re just words.

   There’s a huge difference between dropping some f bombs at your email because someone just asked you to make the 392nd change to a document they swore they finished with, and screaming them at someone for, say, making a mistake.

10. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 6:15PM UTC

    Words, however, often hurt worse than fists or weapons. Some words hurt worse than others, and each person has their limits.

    Especially in a cubicle or other "open" environment where there are dozens of people, someone starting a loud tirade with obscenities is in bad form whether the person is swearing at the phone they just hung up (hopefully) or a computer screen with -whatever- on it. Outbursts of frustration disrupt the environment whether or not swear words are used,

11. misskelleypMarch 19,2024 at 5:14PM UTC

    Honestly, people such pansies these days. <clutches pearls> oh no, a bad word... swoon. Yeesh.

12. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 5:57PM UTC

    When it comes to anything that could be offensive, err on the side of decorum and decency, which means don't swear. This is especially true if there are clients/customers in earshot or people you don't know in the room.

    There are many types of offensive words, but anything that would be "bleeped" on TV should never be used in the workplace. In addition, anything that disparages a person's age, gender, or sexual/gender identity or references private body parts should never be used in the workplace, as that is an automatic harassment issue.

13. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 7:12PM UTC

    So unprofessional so try and improve your behavior. It's not a great look and I'm sure not how you want to impress people.

14. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 9:41PM UTC

    It's dependent on where you work. I worked in an office in Brooklyn and there were craters on the desks from all the F-bombs being dropped.

    I worked in a school for children with special needs and it was a definite strike against you.

    In general, swearing at work is bad though. I would not do it unless I heard it from others constantly, for a long period of time.

15. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 4:05AM UTC

    Part of mature and professional behavior is learning to regulate your emotions.

16. Maria PorporaMarch 20,2024 at 11:49AM UTC

    It depends a LOT on the field in which you work, on the environment in the workplace, and on what the actual comment(s)/swearing was. Standards of conduct in an elementary school principle's office are much different than in a construction management office.

17. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 12:21PM UTC

    I'm not sure that regulate and suppression are the same thing.

18. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 1:59PM UTC

    Exactly. It means get a grip. No one needs to hear you act out to "get it out" of your system.

19. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 1:47PM UTC

    Love the 'have the company define what swearing is'. Haha, if someone is unable to not speak offensively in the workplace perhaps this isn't where they should be.

20. Tami L CannizzaroMarch 20,2024 at 4:02PM UTC

    Interesting conversation for me, since I've been working for myself about 10 years. Prior to this, I've never worked at a company without at least some swearing. In fact, work is where I learned to swear. To be clear, no one was swearing AT each other. And never in front of clients! Or executives. You had to know how and when to use your words. It was as if we all knew the rules of the game. Those that didn't quickly learned or were out. Swearing was like the ultimate expression - usually shared by others - of frustration/exasperation of whatever work situation we were in at the moment. Could be the person had spent hours on a spreadsheet only to accidentally close the document without saving; maybe we all had worked night and day for weeks on a project only to have it sidelined or cancelled - and there would be a collective curse word among the group before we got over it, had a laugh and moved on. Nothing crazy; it was just something people could all sort of rally around.

    To my knowledge, there were no complaints at the companies I worked at - 5 companies total. Even at the agency I worked for. Our clients even swore at their companies! Again, not directed at us.

    Different times now.

21. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 8:41PM UTC

    Depends on what you said, the loudness and duration of your comments, and the norms of your company.

    A one-time profanity that is not yelled, doesn’t sound serious — more like a slip of the tongue.

    From the reaction of HR, it would appear that you offended one or more people and possibly disrupted the work environment.

    As a general rule, don’t use profanity in the workplace and express your frustrations calmly. If your frustrations are personal rather than professional, wait to unload until you get home.

    One more point: if you are generally unable to express your frustrations calmly/constructively, you might be experiencing anxiety or have a problem with anger management. Therapy and/or medication might be helpful if this is the case.

22. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 10:21PM UTC

    Weird, most places I've worked at have had people swear at one point or another. Never at each other (this can be taken as an act of aggression) , but just as a manner of speaking while working and shooting the shite. It depends on the country and the company values. Outside of the US, Australia, and maybe UK, perhaps swearing is more offensive or odd in the workplace. Or if you're US based, perhaps more conservative Bible belt areas are super offended by speech that would be absolutely normal in places like LA or NYC. But yeah, it sounds like your work culture finds those phrases odd in the workplace. Just go through the trainings and curb the swearing until you can find a place more aligned with your communication/work style.

23. AnonymousMarch 21,2024 at 2:05AM UTC

    Your emotions and triggers=your problem! You can dig in with HR and argue that your profanity wasn’t directed at anyone but rather an expression of your uncontrolled emotions but this won’t turn out well for you.

    if people are reporting you to HR, that should be a crystal clear indication to you that you have to urgently change something about your behavior at work.

    Your only response at this point should be: thank you for pointing this out, I’m embarrassed by my behavior and will take these steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again.