I suspect one of my key staff members of my small non profit staff is interviewing for another job.

30 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 4,2023 at 2:44PM UTC

   I’m not sure it’s appropriate to ask since what they do is personal based. They can tell HR (if you have HR) and not tell the supervisor. It may be medically based. It may be they are looking for a job. Maybe look at what has been happening and what would cause them to look for another job to see if you can stop it before it gets to the point of resignation. Is it pay? Is it culture? Is it something else? Or do they have legitimate issues going on that they are addressing in their life?

   I know I’ve had to be taking more time lately for appointments that I wasn’t taking before. It’s unusual behavior for me. I’m not looking for another job, although I’ve kind of been asked in different ways if that’s what I’m doing. But I’m legitimately taking care of me and putting myself first.

2. AnonymousMay 4,2023 at 2:50PM UTC

   In my company we ask if they are an employee we want to retain. I would phrase it along the lines of: "I've noticed a change in your time out of office and I'd like to ask if you are satisfied with your position or if you are perhaps looking to move elsewhere? If you are considering leaving, please know that I value your work and your role here is essential and I'd be interested in at least having an opportunity to counter an external offer."

   A lot of employees don't ask for adjustments in their current position because they assume they will be denied. By approaching it first, without being aggressive about it, you've opened up a door to possibly retain them - at the very least you've let them know they are important to the organization.

3. AnonymousMay 4,2023 at 3:10PM UTC

   I wouldn't ask, but instead -- if they deserve a raise (including inflation $$ cost which is about 11%) -- then just give it to them. Treat them with respect and value them. If they still decide to leave, it might be a personal matter like different work life balance or a health issue. You don't want to ask as it could be seen as some sort of intimidation tactic.

4. AnonymousMay 4,2023 at 4:36PM UTC

   This is interesting as I was in this very same situation where I actually was interviewing and management did ask me if I was interviewing and leaving.

   Even though I intuitively knew, I did not feel that it was appropriate for them to ask me and felt on the spot as it felt intrusive and overstepping boundaries.

   From my experience, the energy changes when you decide to move forward. With a counteroffer, they didn't seem to value you as much until you decide to go somewhere that does. Not saying that is the case here as this is more corporate experience.

   As someone who has worked in a non-profit, it is not always easy to retain folks due to changes with grant funding, etc, and people may decide that they want more money or no longer align with the mission, too. The wanting more money is understandable yet articulating the lack of alignment with the mission wasn't easy for me.

   Are there things going on at your non-profit that would cause them to look elsewhere? Is it pay? Is it working in the office when they can work from home? Is it redundant work? Is it the culture? Is it a lack of boundaries outside of the office meaning having them work nights and weekends? Or perhaps the employee has personal issues?

5. AnonymousMay 4,2023 at 6:47PM UTC

   I might pull them aside and privately ask if they were okay. "I'm only asking as myself, and others, have noticed a shift in your schedule pattern, and want to know how I can help." This comes from a place of genuine caring and wanting to help. There could be a family or health issue they're dealing with that they thought they were doing a good job of hiding. Or, maybe they've been waiting for someone to ask. Don't ever assume!

6. misskelleypMay 5,2023 at 7:36PM UTC

   this only works if you actually DO care....

7. AnonymousMay 5,2023 at 10:30PM UTC

   I was thinking that the poster may actually care, because she didn't state it either way. I'd like to think we all could use some grace and help these days.

8. AnonymousMay 5,2023 at 3:38AM UTC

   Personally, I think it's really none of your business. They're allowed to look for another job if they want to.

   If I was doing that and you pulled me aside and asked me, I would just lie to you. The first time anyone should know I'm looking for another job is when I turn in my resignation.

9. AnonymousMay 5,2023 at 4:43AM UTC

   I agree that it makes things very awkward.

10. AnonymousMay 5,2023 at 12:08PM UTC

    Have a touch base 1 on 1. Ask them how it's going and if they need help with anything. People leave jobs, it's natural. If they bring it up, ask the whys and be empathetic and okay with their answers. Nonprofits can be emotional and emotionally led. That's okay too. Be an encourager and a supporter. It's okay.

11. AnonymousMay 5,2023 at 2:14PM UTC

    Having worked for a non-profit, I know how tight things can get when a key employee leaves, and it is good to be able to plan for it, as you are likely not able to begin any back-fill until they resign and possibly until they leave. I like the responses that suggest a 1:1 to explain that you have noticed an uptick in absence, late arrival, and early departure, and give them a chance to explain. Chances are that if they are interviewing, they won't disclose, but if it is a different issue, like a sudden illness, an upcoming surgery, or a sick relative, they have a chance to explain, and you can make accommodations. Do the meeting from the perspective that you are worried about their well-being, and do your best not to give her the impression that it is a verbal warning about their work ethic. Interviewing is only one possibility to explain their behavior change.

12. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

    I’d be very careful with this advice. If I were in a toxic environment (not saying the poster’s non-profit IS toxic, but it may be), and someone sat me down to address my ‘uptick in absences’ etc., quite frankly I might give my notice there and then even without another position in place. And then the poster might have worse problems than an 2-week notice. Also, being disingenuous about your reasons for a chat is easily seen through - you can’t fake caring about someone.

    Here’s the thing: key person in or not, your employee has the right to grow and move on. And a good boss encourages this; they don’t try to hold the employee back for their own selfish motives. Yes, it might be hard for the poster/non-profit if they get a job, but this is a normal thing to have to deal with as an employer. If the shoe were on the other foot and the employer decided to lay off this ‘key employee’, it’s nearly certain that this would be done in secret too.

    i’ve worked in many non-profits myself, and nearly all of them underpay and overwork their staff on the basis that the employees ‘feel good’ about doing good (funnily, however, they still often pay their CEOs an ungodly amount of money). It’s a tough environment to work in. Perhaps a better approach would be to talk to the employee and say something like ‘We really value your work here, and we really appreciate you. We feel that you’ve had a lot of work on your plate lately, is there anything we can do to support you?’ And then do it. Or ask the employee how you can help them grow, such as allowing them to swap a responsibility with another employee, or offering to pay for a course. Respecting someone and responding to their needs (not just in words, but in actions) is the best way to prevent attrition.

13. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 7:11PM UTC

    To be clear, I wasn't suggesting Gestapo tactics or "faking" concern. Depending on the mission of the non-profit, employees and executives are capable of empathy and genuine concern. Having just retired from this type of non-profit, I assumed this was the case with the OP, who indicated they are management in one. My suggestion was to remind them that the behaviors concerning the employee could be many, not just interviewing and suggesting ways to go about it.

    I have personally had such an intervention, but my issues were related to a medical issue that I had not yet disclosed because I was still going through testing. I was grateful for the Executive Director (who, BTW, makes less than twice the people in the trenches per the IRS 990 filings) taking an interest in what was going on, Not everyone runs away screaming when the boss asks if they are OK, and not every boss who asks has an ulterior motive

14. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 3:48PM UTC

    No, it’s not her business.

15. Tracy DyeMay 5,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

    I was asked directly by my project manager “was I applying for other jobs?” And I answered honestly and wish I hadn’t. They used it as one of the reasons they choose me for a layoff. On the other hand, I’m glad to be rid of them. This wasn’t non-profit, and not really any of their business.

16. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 12:48AM UTC

    I arranged phone interviews during my lunch and had an office with a huge warehouse as my backdoor so I would interview there as well.

    My job was so toxic and they needed me because no one could put up with them so I was safe.

    Regardless, finally got the job, gave and honored my 2w. Boss was ANGRY because I didn't discuss leaving with him *before* I got the offer . Mind you, this is a cusser and door slamming type. Thankfully, I gave notice over email because he was on his way to Germany for 3 weeks. Never saw him again!! They would not have offered me more because although I was hired as an Accountant, I was required to be HR Director AND Accounting and they complained I was horrible at HR (uhhhhhh, duh!!!)

    Funny thing is, day of my LAST day, this temp agency sends me a note for a "perfect" job, one I just left. I called her and told her it was best if no one was referred there. She accused me of lying, illustratratimg no company is disorganized. Lady.... truth is stranger than fiction! I work with numbers - I'm not that creative to make stuff up!!

    After that experience, should have bought a lottery ticket - what are the odds of this "perfect" opportunity I was referred to?!!

    Now the receptionist is doing the HR and accounting, I heard

    Oh.... The HR lady at the main corporation location was ANGRY I worked my notice; begged me to quit so I could lose my PTO (2W). I had a countdown of seconds on my phone - I stayed to the end to spite them AND retain my classiness

    I did receive the PTO and hear she ranted about me for a long time. I don't want to go NEAR that place again. Ever.

17. Kristen SteinerMay 7,2023 at 12:36PM UTC

    Kudos!

18. Rosa E HearnMay 6,2023 at 12:27PM UTC

    What she does on her time off from work, is her business not the company. If you feel she might be leaving, I would look at your culture of your organization and see if there is anything you & the company can approve on so more people don't want to leave.

19. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

    That depends. If you are coming from a place of care and concern for that particular discussion and have established a level of trust that would allow such discussion, then yes. If you haven't then do know that they will not be forthright with you. I know this may be an uncomfortable situation, but these days are tough, and it's even more challenging when we can't trust the people around us, supervisors or peers, to have our best intentions at heart.

20. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 11:51AM UTC

    I most definitely agree.

21. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 1:03PM UTC

    Unless you are asking out of concern for the individual, don’t bother asking. Seriously. What your employee does on their own time is none of your affair

22. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 3:47PM UTC

    I think I know why she is leaving.

23. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 6:11PM UTC

    EXACTLY my first thought!!

24. AnonymousMay 7,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

    Really? You think it’s wrong for a supervisor to notice when an employee is not working and it might affect the rest of the team. I think it’s good they’re looking out for what will affect everyone.

25. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 4:16PM UTC

    If they wanted you to know you would already be in the loop.

26. AnonymousMay 6,2023 at 5:20PM UTC

    I would ask, and if you get the response you don't want to hear work on a transition timeline so you are not left short staffed. If you are wanting to retain the person it's also the time for the conversation about that and figuring out how to do this based on why they want to leave. If you uncover a medical situation or they need an accommodation to care for a family member or child then perhaps map that out so they have flexibility and feel safe taking the time.

27. Liz MilneMay 6,2023 at 11:58PM UTC

    It might be that something is up and she's trying to deal with it without letting it affect her work: hopefully she'll realise that she's been taking more time off than usual and fill you in of her own volition...

    If they're a good employee take steps to stop her moving on: make sure she's happy, listen to any concerns, give her that pay rise if she's earned it.

    Also, ask if everything is okay - she might be ill and going for medical tests etc to find out what's going on.

    Don't be intrusive with the asking, just literally say, 'Is everything all right?' and let her lead from there.

28. AnonymousMay 7,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

    Do both. Always be prepared for an employee to quit, always.

29. KellyW43May 7,2023 at 8:01PM UTC

    If you can afford it, hire a floater, someone who is trained in all of the positions and can take over when someone goes on vacation. Then when someone leaves, you can put them in their position.

    It always pays to have someone on deck.

30. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 4:39PM UTC

    I would honestly just sit down and talk to them, as a general check-in. Don't go into it with preconceived ideas as to why they have more appointments than usual. It could be that something's going on in their personal life and they're having to juggle things for a bit. And if they really are unhappy with the job and planning to leave, this could be the way to find out why and possibly correct it to keep them.