I have work-shame - please help!!!

Anonymous

April 18,2022 at 4:50AM UTC

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I have work-shame - please help!!!

A couple years ago I lied on my resume and got the job. Even though I cleared it with my supervisor I still felt tortured and felt I had done something seriously wrong and the little spare time I had (the job required un-paid overtime, especially at the beginning) I couldn't enjoy because I was being eaten alive by my conscience. The job didn't last and I've since cleaned up my resume and have moved forward. However I still have this haunting feeling and extreme fear that an employer who's seen previous versions of my resume will not hire me - or worse - hire me and then fire me later if they find out what I did in the past. Any advice on how I can overcome these fears? Should I change careers? Move to a different country??

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AngieApril 18,2022 at 12:04PM UTC
If there is guilt, recognize those feelings for what they are and move on. It's as simple as that. Beating yourself up over it is not going to help you. If one employer is not interested, surely there is one out there for you.
AngieApril 18,2022 at 12:06PM UTC
"employers lie to candidates"
Need to put that on a t-shirt...lol
Anne VanLoonApril 19,2022 at 12:26PM UTC
Feeling that this week! Employers also lie to current employees. Maybe just "Employers lie". Lol.
AnonymousApril 18,2022 at 2:31PM UTC
I think realizing that first of all the odds are slim to none that anyone would do the research, comparison and tracking necessary to call you out. It is just not that important nor are you that high profile. If you were nominated to sit on the Supreme Court yeah. But honestly you do not command that kind of scrutiny.
Further this has more to do with your sense of ethics and morals than any employer finding out what you did.
I would seek counsel with your shrink, minister or spiritual guide. Find a way to make amends.
AnonymousApril 18,2022 at 6:04PM UTC
My first thought was how badly did you lie on your resume? And why did you feel it was necessary? So, your supervisor knew you had lied on your resume and s/he was OK with that? Wow! You feel guilty because you lied... it was wrong! You have moved on, and you have corrected your resume to more accurately reflect your job experiences. I cannot imagine that a potentially new employer will see a copy of your incorrect resume, but if that does happen, you need to be upfront and say you fudged your information. If you are rejected from the new job, accept the consequences for your actions. Consider this a lesson learned!
Kimberley Ferretti HammettApril 18,2022 at 7:50PM UTC
Try taking some time to actually think through if someone were to ask you why you lied on your resume, how would you explain. Maybe journal it. Without being defensive just process the experience through these questions.
What was your reasoning for the lie on the resume?
What were the negative impacts of it?
What were the positive impacts that came from it?
What did you learn and what would you do differently in the future?
This might help frame out a couple things:
1- It got you to where you are. Marie Kondo that ish and "Thank" the experience and move on
2- You have prepared an answer so if ever the VERY UNLIKELY event comes that you are questioned about it you have an answer. "Hey, I'm human. This was my thought process and this is how I've grown". That may relieve you a little from the fear of being questioned if you at least feel prepared to head it on rather than just dreading "what if"
Give yourself a break! It doesn't sound like you hurt anyone other than your own morals and we've all been there in some shape or form.
AnonymousApril 18,2022 at 8:32PM UTC
You are simply over worrying. Try some meditation techniques, work on or get new hobbies, go on walks in nature....
You have changed your resume and it would be a lot of work for perspective employers to go back and find/ focus on the details of the old resume.
AnonymousApril 18,2022 at 8:36PM UTC
Victoria brings up a good point... employers DO lie to candidates! We don’t often hear that full story unless the candidate who gets the job talks about it!
Ashley BellApril 19,2022 at 12:22PM UTC
Let it go. In the big scheme of things it doesn't matter.
Joycelyn M. SiameApril 19,2022 at 12:41PM UTC
You are fine and are just overthinking things. First off, do not feel bad that you lied on your resume to work for a job that required unpaid overtime... that is unethical in itself. So just see it as one cancels out the other and move on.
Employers have too much to focus on that to think, "Wait a minute... let me see what other resume this person has shared in the past". I am telling you, they do not care except for the here and now (resume wise), unless you have a criminal background, of course, haha.
AnonymousApril 19,2022 at 1:34PM UTC
Oh, dear. You are really over thinking this. Let it go. Its done, its over, tell the truth going forward and stop beating yourself up.
Cynthia (Van Syoc) KendallApril 19,2022 at 2:35PM UTC
I agree with the other poster that you are overthinking it. It is highly unlikely any future employer will remember every detail of a resume you wrote years ago. How long would they keep one in their system anyway? With hundreds of applicants for a given position posted, it is very unlikely this will ever come back to haunt you. Just be truthful going forward.
AnonymousApril 19,2022 at 4:33PM UTC
Guilt is a wasted emotion. Take a deep breath and put it behind you. It is not something to lose sleep over. And I doubt this will ever come back to haunt you!
AnonymousApril 19,2022 at 4:46PM UTC
Wow...OK I guess if you're looking for some obscure reason to create a guilty conscience you've found it.
I would look for a professional to speak with.
Maricia D. C. JohnsApril 19,2022 at 5:16PM UTC
I am confused. Let it go.
Maricia
froerden@yahoo.comApril 19,2022 at 5:56PM UTC
Fix your resume and let it go! The truth is that most HR people and hiring managers don’t look at the resume beyond the most recent job (or two). Be thankful you have a conscience! Good luck.
Karen GongawareApril 19,2022 at 7:58PM UTC
What the French Toast? Really? You cleared it with your supervisor and now have a recent resume. What's the problem? Put your new one out there, get rid of any old ones, and let it go. Move to another country? Really? Couldn't tell if you were being serious or sarcastic. Move if you stole around 100 million from the company. A resume? nope not even a blip on the bad things scale.
AnonymousApril 28,2022 at 11:09PM UTC
Agreed! I say forgive yourself (we do) and move on with your life. :)
Rosa GoesApril 19,2022 at 9:26PM UTC
I'm sure you can tell them the previous resume was incorrect and you cleaned it up since then. Be honest with them and yourself. The fact that you cleared it with your past supervisor indicates it can be worked out with prospective employers. I doubt there is an employer out there who kept versions of your resume. They receive thousands of resumes.