I need some advice for disengaging from the chaos at work and see that work is just one part of my life.

13 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 31,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

   Is there a reason you can't reach out to an internal recruiter or one of the HR leaders to help get that introduction? Employees at our co send my team resumes all the time to make introductions.

2. AnonymousJanuary 31,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

   You say that you usually would talk to your boss about it. What is keeping you from doing that now? You are new to the job, need additional training, and it overwhelms you. This is normal during your probationary period at a new job.

   What I usually do when this happens is start with checklists or flow charts of the processes involved. Then I share them with co-workers or the manager to see if I have missed anything. This will often break the ice and has more than once led to changes in the SOP for the position. If you aren't a checklist or flow chart type, you need to talk to your manager about what overwhelms you.

3. Jerri WalkerJanuary 31,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

   Take breaks with a walk or some meditation to get you through the reactionary period. Find small areas where you can affect some change. I have spent the last 4 years someplace similar (although potentially less chaotic) and found that finding ways to improve the processes that affected me or that were downstream from me gave me a sense of accomplishment and helped me to slowly affect change and accomplish something. But in the end, you control you. Make your reactions meaningful and positive.

4. AnonymousJanuary 31,2023 at 3:43PM UTC

   Are the communication of deadlines a problem?
   Have you tried keeping a list of projects? Some bosses have no clue what work loads look like and the amount of time it takes to complete stuff. I say I am working on Project A which will take me xxxday\hours to complete. Then I am working on Project B. If you want project C too which is more of a priority.

   I have also said, I will work to deliver all three projects by Friday. How would your prioritize these.? Then give them a daily brief on how the progress is tracking.

   under promise and over deliver, set firm boundaries and deliver quality work. There is nothing wrong with asking- I want to be clear- what does success look like? When do you want it done? What resources can I use as I am still learning? Who can I ask for help?

5. AnonymousJanuary 31,2023 at 8:29PM UTC

   I don't have any mantras, but I will say this. DONT JUST RIDE IT OUT. A way to disengage? how so? When there is chaos at my job I walkway. Specifically, if there is an issue or mis communication that creates chaos and I was not in charge of said mis communication or issue, then I walk away. Anyone who wants to bring it up and I stop them or walkway. Keeping your head down will not save you when crap hits the fan which it sounds like it does often. It is imperative that you find a process and communication style that works best for you, at least. At most, discuss ways to improve these processes with the team, your boss, HR, anyone who will listen. What is your companies process for creating new process, and communication? I mean there has to be something... who enforces the processes? how much waste this must create is beyond me. Find the value-added work and do away with the non-value-added work. I wish you the best.

6. AnonymousFebruary 1,2023 at 1:06AM UTC

   "It's not my life. It's just my job."

   To help me keep my mouth shut I run through possible personality disorder diagnoses for the people who get on my nerves. It helps me see them as struggling human beings and less like obstacles in my way.

7. AnonymousFebruary 1,2023 at 1:53AM UTC

   Still learning how to do this effectively, after so many years of experience.
   This happens especially when we are competent and empathetic as well as optimistic that we wil be able to improve the situation by speaking up.

   what works for me sometimes - to think about my other aspects of life, that are not so perfect and that brings realization that my work ( and it not being so rosy ) is okay, because I have others things that larger than my work life..

   But to your situation particularly, dont let it ride out. However, since you are new, learn to just observe. When we are new, we dont know the history why things are being done X way. So just find the right time to speak with your boss and keep the improvements suggestions as "optional for them to consider". this way you get the chance to show you care and you are competent to bring improvement, and at the same time have the patience and ability to go with the flow.

8. Bonnie CoventryFebruary 1,2023 at 12:44PM UTC

   Congrats on the new job, a month in is not a time to come in with 'this process needs to change'. Take the time to fully try to understand the why's in their processes. YOu may quickly see antiquated practices, identify and keep going during this time. You will want to build relationships first, not processes, and then grow from there. You may feel overwhelmed, but get your projects in front of you, outline where they're at and deadlines. Be flexible and start to be proactive. Product knowledge will need to be a focus during your inaugural months. Spend the time to learn them while understanding the current flow of business. Observation will pay off with building those relationships along the way. Good luck!

9. AnonymousFebruary 1,2023 at 7:20PM UTC

   I would certainly not keep my mouth shut. Give your new manager real feedback about your frustrations and come up with a plan for how to learn and ask them where there is flexibility to make mistakes. Find a mentor within the team who is more tenured than you and ask them to meet perhaps once a week for 15-30 minutes for real support. I don't think disengaging is the right move, unless you are only there for the paycheck and not for your own career.

10. AnonymousFebruary 1,2023 at 11:13PM UTC

    On keeping your mouth shut; “This too shall pass.” “Gray Rock,” (short-hand for being non-reactive and not engaging.)

    On disengaging: Try my “The Worse the Day, the Better the Evening” mantra.

    What this means in practice:

    -Leave your work and any frustrations at work.

    -If you must vent about the day, limit it to 20 minutes or less. (Long enough to get it off your chest, but not long enough to mire you.)

    -The rest of the evening: devote it to fun, friends, hobbies, family, exercise or pampering yourself — anything that relaxes and rejuvenates you is good. And if you’ve had an especially bad day, feel free to redouble your efforts. Same thing for weekends.

    In general: When you are having a difficult time at work, shift your attention to other activities outside of work that give you a sense of fulfillment. Don’t make your job your sole focus. Limit your hours at work (minimize overtime) so that you have the time for more satisfying pursuits

11. ReachingGoalsFebruary 3,2023 at 3:01PM UTC

    I send lots of emails. So, when it looks like I have been sitting on something for two plus weeks when it is because I'm waiting for someone else to do their job, I send reminder emails. For the first few weeks, on Thursday at 7 am. After two weeks, every other day. They either kick the butt of whoever is holding them up, or more often than not, they get off their own lazy ass and do their job. It is hard to not be reactionary in an environment you are in. I have found that as long as I am keeping up with my work the best I can, I take a big breath, try to remain calm, offer to step in to help someone else, and remind myself that some things I can't control. Of course, if you are being made a scapegoat, then all this isn't as helpful and it is probably time to find anoter job.

12. Erin LukenFebruary 3,2023 at 3:33PM UTC

    Having a mindfulness/meditation practice has been helpful to me. I am someone who always wants to improve processes, increase efficiency, fix things, etc, but due to working in larger companies with lots of red tape, it's very difficult to make meaningful changes when you're just a small cog in the machine. Mindfulness and meditation has helped me to separate my own inner feelings of "worthiness" from my frustrations at work. Obviously, I still do my best and want to perform well, but I accept that many things are out of my control. I've also found a volunteer organization (Rotary) that values my skills and gives me many opportunities and all the support I need to make a real difference in my community, which has been more fulfilling than anything I've experience at work.

13. Julie EFebruary 3,2023 at 8:01PM UTC

    You’re so new to the job that I would give myself some grace. Tell yourself that you’re still learning the job. I wouldn’t offer process improvements yet being so new but you could jot down notes on possible improvements and see of they would still work once you know the job better. I don’t know what your job is but what keeps me organized are tracking spreadsheet. I track everything: when things are due, when they get done, any roadblocks, etc.